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Topic : 02/22 Hell Weddings

Number of Replies: 238
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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:54:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Every bride wants to shine on her special day -- from wearing the perfect gown to hosting the most extravagant reception. But what happens when the dream of the perfect wedding turns into a nightmare? Janae knows about this pain firsthand. Her husband, Michael, got so drunk before the ceremony that he passed out cold after saying “I do” and didn’t wake up until the next day!  Janae attended the reception by herself and spent her wedding night with her bridesmaids at a hotel. Their wedding from hell took place two years ago, but she still tears up at the memory of that fateful day. Can she ever forgive Michael's mishaps, or is he doomed to the doghouse forever? Then, Angela is a self-professed bridezilla who makes no excuses for her demanding ways. She even created a newsletter for her bridesmaids with the rules and regulations they must follow to participate in her wedding! Her sister and maid of honor, Vanessa, worries that Angela's nitpicking will cause her fiancé, Marvin, to run for the hills. What's behind Angela's controlling behavior, and is she headed for heartache on her special day? Share your thoughts here.

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February 16, 2008, 12:56 pm CST

Drunken husband

Many years ago on TV there was a television special on Willy Nelson, and he was talking about how he always came home drunk and his wife was disgusted with him, one night he came home drunk and passed out on top of the sheets, and she took all four corners of the sheet and tied it in quite a few knots, and she left the house, and when he came out of his drunken coma and woke up, he couldn't get out of the sheet until she came home and untied him.  That is what Janae should have done to her new hubby.  That story made me laugh, how perfect.  For Bridezilla Angela, get over yourself, life is not perfect, and something always goes awry at a wedding.  These bridesmaids should just back out of the wedding, that isn't a bride or a friend, just a major control freak.  The wedding is only one day, the marriage is supposed to be forever, but in this case, I don't think it is going to last very  long, and they will probably end up back on Dr. Phil's show again in the near future with the husband complaining about the control freak Angela.
 
February 16, 2008, 1:02 pm CST

I know what its like

Hello there all. I know what that is like first hand. May 1st will be 9 years that we have been married if I could go back to that day I would and do it all again. I did not get to pick out my wedding my mother-in-law did I did put my foot down on having our wedding at the races he was a race car drive and that is were she wanted it and I said no. She did not think it was a good idea to have it at a church because to many people that she knows were not together any more and they got married in a church.It was bad in manys wasys.The day of the wedding I almost got hit by a car.My soon to be sister- in- law that was 13 at the time stole my car the girls that were in my wedding I did not know I did not pick them out. I had uncle fight over the radio playing the wrong muics, the lady that we got to take our pic did not come because my mom-in-law said not to come she got someone.O she did all right she one that she works with my pic were all of his family and freinds very little my mine some did not have my family in them did not get any of us together, and then she do to go and did not want so we did not get any of us with the cake.We had a bar well his sister was bringing in beer and drinking and his mom and dad let her with the cops there and so much more on that. By the end of the night he had way to much to drink and was driving did not know were we were going ended up at holty that night. There was much more that had happend just to much to talk about. Hope you have a better one than me !!
 
February 16, 2008, 1:32 pm CST

Very worry

Angela, you need to ease up or  you will likely end up sending  Marvin running for the hill or your special day won't turn out anywhere close to the way you want it to. 

 

Marvin, if I was you I would think about these few questions: 

 

If this is how she is about the wedding day, how will she be when you two are married. 

Will she be the one trying to control everything thing, I mean everything.

How will she be with the children if you have any? 

Will she want everything to go her way? 

Will you be making decisions together or will she make them on her own without you having any say? 

 

As for Janae, if Micheal was that drunk why did she go ahead and married him?  I had second thoughts before my first marriage and it ended up in a divorce. Just hate to see that happen to people.

 

I wish them all the best of luck!!!  Just want them to really think about all of this from everyway possible and then some. 

 

Maybe both couples should find out how Dr. Phil and Robin have manage to keep such a great marriage and get some guidelines from both of them. 

 

Dr. Phil and Robin are great rolemodels for a loving and lasting relationship. 

 
February 16, 2008, 1:34 pm CST

Sad

ITA with the sentiment that WAY too much emphasis has been put on the "wedding day" (read "party to repay every social obligation you and your parents have incurred in the last 25 years"), and not nearly enough on the marriage to follow.

 

When did "bridezilla" become part of our vocabulary? I don't recall hearing it until probably somewhere about the time that the average cost for a wedding & reception approached more money than the cost of a new minivan. With so much money changing hands in the process (and who knows how much of it borrowed) in an effort to re-create something seen on a soap opera or in a celebrity rag, there is a LOT of pressure to have the "perfect" day.

 

Both these young ladies need a reality check, ASAP. Janae needs to look critically at her behavior leading up to the wedding. I am not excusing Michael's inappropriate coping tactic. However, what was he struggling to cope with??  To re-state another poster, Angela's behavior regarding the wedding is BEYOND narcissistic. If this is her attitude going into the wedding, the marriage doesn't stand much of a chance, IMO.

 

Prof 

 
February 16, 2008, 5:15 pm CST

is 'bridedilla' the new epidemic?

I am baffled by the need for so many shows about awful brides and engaged couples that are clueless to their own incompatibility.  Is this so wide spead as it seems?  Have people really gotten so far away from the simple truths of life?  From what I've seen of these past couples, a monkey could have told them they were so out of bounds.  What's the big mystery or do they just crave so much attention that they need to be on national TV to embarass themselves (if they have any shame at all)?

I'm tired of the subject and will not be watching Thanks anyway

 
February 16, 2008, 7:31 pm CST

Sure you are right!

Quote From: juliebgg

I think that Angela's behvior regarding her upcoming wedding is a huge clue about how she views other people and how she is going to behave in her marriage.  While I would be the first to say that a wedding should be a very special day for the bride (and the groom too, Angela!!) it does not give the bride carte blanch to disregard other peoples' feelings and to become rude and demanding. To give out a newsletter detailing rules and regulations for her bridesmaids is childish, selfish and shows that she is a complete control freak. Personally I would not participate in a wedding with a bride like that, and I have my doubts that I'd ever choose such a selfish demanding person as a friend in the first place.  Her future husband ought to take note.  If she behaves like such a prima donna about the wedding, how will she be in a marriage?  She is sending out huge clues that point to a very shallow and self-centered person and perhaps this guy should rethink what he is getting himself in to.
Angela is truly someone to be worried about. She definetly is the cause of more trouble than she's worth. It is too bad she doesn't see this before, but she has an opportunity to check herself and get in step with what is right. Hopefully she will work it out before it is too late.
 
February 17, 2008, 10:13 am CST

Yes....

Quote From: ramair

Makes me wonder just why Michael was so anxious. Was it just the wedding that un-nerved him? Or, the marriage that followed. Maybe Janae had held grudges in the past. Over much less seriuos issues than getting drunk. So, maybe Michael was having second thoughts about marrying her. Anyway, it's been two years since Michael got drunk. To continue holding a grudge is, IMO, awfully petty and mean of Janae. Especially if he hasn't had anything to drink since the wedding.  I just hope DR Phil doesn't "reward" her attitude with another "wedding."

 

Maybe it was the actual wedding, or maybe he felt that he was marrying a monster.  I agree that two years is INSANELY long to hold a grudge.  Maybe he has a drinking problem that should have been addressed in premarital or couples counseling.  I really hope they address that,as it may be an addiction that she has to deal with.  If she knew about his drinking problem, why marry him? Or why not wait until he was out of rehab? 

I know that a lot of people drink or smoke out of anxiety and then it becomes an addiction or a way of life to deal with problems.  If Janae knew about it, does she really have the right to hold a grudge?  If they never talked about his problems, or tried to resolve anxiety issues, or got him into treatment, then what did she expect? 

 

Janae could have 1000 ceremonies and have snafus in every one of them- and then a lousy marriage.  The party isn't as important in comparison.  If she loves him, she should get therapy to help her deal with grudges and if she just wanted a party and not a marriage, then she need to rethink marriage.

 
February 17, 2008, 10:29 am CST

Bridezillas....

Quote From: profmaryann

ITA with the sentiment that WAY too much emphasis has been put on the "wedding day" (read "party to repay every social obligation you and your parents have incurred in the last 25 years"), and not nearly enough on the marriage to follow.

 

When did "bridezilla" become part of our vocabulary? I don't recall hearing it until probably somewhere about the time that the average cost for a wedding & reception approached more money than the cost of a new minivan. With so much money changing hands in the process (and who knows how much of it borrowed) in an effort to re-create something seen on a soap opera or in a celebrity rag, there is a LOT of pressure to have the "perfect" day.

 

Both these young ladies need a reality check, ASAP. Janae needs to look critically at her behavior leading up to the wedding. I am not excusing Michael's inappropriate coping tactic. However, what was he struggling to cope with??  To re-state another poster, Angela's behavior regarding the wedding is BEYOND narcissistic. If this is her attitude going into the wedding, the marriage doesn't stand much of a chance, IMO.

 

Prof 

 

I think the pressure to have the perfect day is bred from the bride herself. Bridezillas need to remember that the wedding is for people who attend and participate, not an excuse for egocentricsism.  All these temper tantrums and extravagance for ONE day out of your life. That's it. 

 

It's a privilege, not a right to have people in and at your wedding.  You have to be yourself and treat people the way you would want to be treated. If you act like a 3 year-old, no one is going to want to babysit you- or come to your wedding.  Remember Stephanie, on the Rules of Engagement?  She's driving him off by being demanding- "I wanted cheese fries, and he got me Mozzerella sticks"- please!  She also put off everyone around her.  You're wedding is going to be empty if you're not careful....

 
February 17, 2008, 1:59 pm CST

02/22 Hell Weddings

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

I think the pressure to have the perfect day is bred from the bride herself. Bridezillas need to remember that the wedding is for people who attend and participate, not an excuse for egocentricsism.  All these temper tantrums and extravagance for ONE day out of your life. That's it. 

 

It's a privilege, not a right to have people in and at your wedding.  You have to be yourself and treat people the way you would want to be treated. If you act like a 3 year-old, no one is going to want to babysit you- or come to your wedding.  Remember Stephanie, on the Rules of Engagement?  She's driving him off by being demanding- "I wanted cheese fries, and he got me Mozzerella sticks"- please!  She also put off everyone around her.  You're wedding is going to be empty if you're not careful....

Perhaps the bridal "expectations" (as promoted SHAMELESSLY in magazines -- "It's YOUR day") merely accentuate narcissistic tendencies that these young ladies already have?? After all, how many brides turn into "bridezilla" to the degree that is being presented on the show? Obviously more than in the "horse and buggy" era of the 1980s (LOL), as I don't recall a SINGLE "bridezilla" among my associates!

 

I guess I don't "get" the whole "bridezilla" phenomenon. As you say, if you treat people shabbily, you stand a good chance of putting everyone off to a point that they don't want to be associated with you. It just doesn't seem worth it.

 

Sigh.

 

Prof

 
February 17, 2008, 4:31 pm CST

The phenomenon...

Quote From: profmaryann

Perhaps the bridal "expectations" (as promoted SHAMELESSLY in magazines -- "It's YOUR day") merely accentuate narcissistic tendencies that these young ladies already have?? After all, how many brides turn into "bridezilla" to the degree that is being presented on the show? Obviously more than in the "horse and buggy" era of the 1980s (LOL), as I don't recall a SINGLE "bridezilla" among my associates!

 

I guess I don't "get" the whole "bridezilla" phenomenon. As you say, if you treat people shabbily, you stand a good chance of putting everyone off to a point that they don't want to be associated with you. It just doesn't seem worth it.

 

Sigh.

 

Prof

 

I think this is a fairly newer phenomenon of the bridezillas.  I think it has a lot to do with people becoming more and more entitled and less gracious coupled with a lack of empathy.  What these women fail to realize is that no one wants to babysit a self centered woman.  It's not a walk in the park to have to put up with it.  And they don't understand why they drive off all their friends. 

 

We tend to give our children everything we didn't have and if it gets out of control, then a monster is created.  Then the ads directed at marketing weddings (seems lucrative from the cost of everything) give them no limits, which is necessary for any personality disorder.  Then the disorder would then fester into the bridezilla pandemic.

 

I think I noticed the Bridezillas coming out of the woodwork about 10 years ago- 5 yrs ago they started really getting bad.  Maybe it's always been around but not as bad, or not  brought to light. Again, just extrapolating why this seems to be emerging now.

 
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