Quote From: wannabewrriterI really get upset when I see women who are so obsessed with perfection on their wedding day that they fail to view the whole picture.
Regarding the first woman who was still stressed out two years after her wedding day because her husband was drunk -- YES, it was embarrassing, but he did not do it vindictively, or because he was getting cold feet. He got caught up in the moment. Though it did not make for a perfect wedding, there are women on the other end of the spectrum who would take something like that, send it to America's Funniest Videos and make money with it, while getting a good laugh.
I think every couple wants their wedding to be special, but humans aren't perfect, life isn't perfect, and weddings shouldn't be expected to always be perfect. If your friends and family have a great time, isn't that the most important thing? What really irks me the most about this woman is that she admitted that she had a dream marriage. I would much rather have one embarrassing day against a lifetime of happiness than the truckload of other women who have the "perfect" wedding day, but a life of abuse, infedelity, and misery. This woman should count her blessings. I am also upset with Dr. Phil in that he rewarded her behavior by paying for a whole new wedding. It's like rewarding a child who cried because she didn't get her way. The only consolation is that it might get this woman off the poor man's back. She should feel ashamed that money that could be used toward a woman's crisis center (for BAD marriages) or some other worthwhile service is being spent for something so frivolous. You'll have nicer pictures, but it won't erase the fact that your wedding day is still that first day you got legally married. God forbid if anything goes wrong the "second time around".
My husband and I were in the Navy during the Viet Nam era when we got married. I was going to "A" school for meteorology and was given the weekend off for our wedding. My mother-in-law took charge of everything - including picking out my gown, which I didn't even like. She didn't care for my bridesmaid, and she was pretty rude to my family. My poor Mom was sick the whole time. The photographer got so drunk that he messed up most of the pictures and we only had a few "proofs" of our wedding for remembrance. The majority of the people at the reception had a good time, though, and we were happy with that. Did I wish things had gone better and that I had a nicer gown and great pics to remember that day? Of course! But I've had a LIFETIME of good memories since then, and I built a nicer relationship with my mother-in-law. Our family has also gone through -- and are still going through -- some horrible tragedies which makes the good memories all that more endearing. So, that one day is just a drop in the bucket, and of so little consequence when pitted against the realities of life.
Of course, we want these good memories in order to get through the bad times in life, but when it doesn't turn out JUST right, move on to other things. If this man turned out to be a drunk for the following 2 years, then that would be a problem to reckon with. But, this woman isn't allowing herself to enjoy the wonderful man he appears to be because she is stuck on one moment of poor judgement. Most of us strive for perfection in everything that we do - school, tests, sports, work, etc. If we don't succeed, we try to do better next time, but we seldom can take that same test, or run that same play in sports over again. It is part of our life experience. The wedding day is just the first day of your entire marriage. If the rest of the marriage is good, be grateful. Unfortunately, there will probably be far worse things to come than that bad wedding day, and this woman has wasted two years already pining over it instead of enjoying the bliss that followed it.
As for the other woman who wanted to control everything in the planning of the wedding -- why is it always considered just the bride's day? The man is getting married, too. Though it might not mean as much to him -- per Dr. Phil -- then he probably wouldn't care what choices the bride makes. But, if he has an opinion, then it should be heard because it is HIS day, too, and he is helping to pay for it. And, unless he's asking to wear a gorilla costume, if he wants to wear a certain color tuxedo, then he should have that right to choose what he is wearing for HIS wedding day, if it is important to him. My daughter and I both thought he looked "fly" (her words) in the beige suit. If this bride thinks he is too dark, then all those "white" grooms shouldn't be wearing the black tuxedos! As my daughter has said regarding too much control, "If you squeeze the soap hard enough, it slips out of your hands".
Even at sixty-three, I'm still learning that if we spend too much time regretting something in the past, we might miss something good happening right in front of our eyes.
I, too, am unset with Dr. Phil for rewarding this woman with another wedding. Why should he use money that could be used for a good cause to give her another wedding. If she thinks a new wedding will solve her problems, let her pay for it - she doesn't look like a person who needs this financial help. A small wedding when planned properly can be very inexpensive and the marriage will last as long if there is love and commitment between the husband and wife. Expensive weddings are a one day event but a marriage should last until "death do us part".
Every bride wants to shine on her special day -- from wearing the perfect gown to hosting the most extravagant reception. But what happens when the dream of the perfect wedding turns into a nightmare? Janae knows about this pain firsthand. Her husband, Michael, got so drunk before the ceremony that he passed out cold after saying “I do” and didn’t wake up until the next day! Janae attended the reception by herself and spent her wedding night with her bridesmaids at a hotel. Their wedding from hell took place two years ago, but she still tears up at the memory of that fateful day. Can she ever forgive Michael's mishaps, or is he doomed to the doghouse forever? Then, Angela is a self-professed bridezilla who makes no excuses for her demanding ways. She even created a newsletter for her bridesmaids with the rules and regulations they must follow to participate in her wedding! Her sister and maid of honor, Vanessa, worries that Angela's nitpicking will cause her fiancé, Marvin, to run for the hills. What's behind Angela's controlling behavior, and is she headed for heartache on her special day? Share your thoughts here.
