Topic : 02/22 Hell Weddings

Well it worked. Not only did she get her husband to give her all those freebies, she got Dr. Phil to give her a whole new wedding at a Country Club in Florida. He just taught her that pouting and holding a grudge and being selfish and unforgiving pays off big time!

Very good points re. all the hype and expense of today's modern marriages. So much money and effort made just to impress. A lot of young people today are doing the big wedding thing, spending HUGE amounts of money, only to end up in serious debt. So much for love, happiness and till death do us part?

 

Sounds like you had a wonderful day, with the sea as your backdrop .. Very nice! My partner and I own our home in the country and plan on having our reception there. It's a good-sized property surrounded by nature at every turn. Just a few friends, family, some good food, a little bubbly and a beautiful, sunny day ... Who could ask for more? :-)

Weddings have gotten totally out of hand. I wish people would focus more on the marriage that they are entering into and less on the "party" aspects. When my husband and I first got engaged, we discussed what kind of a wedding WE wanted. It isn't the bride's day, it's a day for two people, who hopefully love and respect each other, to make a vow to continue loving and respecting each other "til death do us part."

 

We had about 50 people at our wedding and spent around 3 grand for everything (except the rings but including pre-marital counseling and a weekend retreat for engaged couples). Many people told us it was their favorite wedding they had ever been to. We were married at 11am on a Saturday in the summer and had the reception at our home. My husband bought a nice suit and I wore a beautiful dress off the rack. We each had one attendant. We did all of the food and flowers ourselves - some homemade and some from the catering/ordered food from Costco. Even our wedding cake was from Costco and it was the best tasting wedding cake we'd ever had! We printed our own invivtations and had two friends do the photography.

 

Ultimately, we had a great wedding and reception. Our guests had a good time. We didn't have to stress out about anything - especially what it was costing us! Everytihng was done and cleaned up in time for us to head out to the coast for our honeymoon. To this day, my husband says that was one of the happiest days of his life (surpassed only by the births of our two children).

 

A wedding is a day, a marriage is forever. Maybe some people (ahem...Angela) need to focucs more on the bigger pictutre and less on getting "their way."

 

One note for people who may think we pinched pennies because we couldn't afford a bigger, fancier affair: we figured we could use our money better than the wedding industry. Besides, who wants to either take a big chunk out of their savings or worse, go into debt over a wedding??? It's ridiculous!

I found it strange that Dr. Phil rewarded the first couple with a second over-the-top wedding. Just another chance for things to go wrong and for Janae to go home sobbing about how her special day was ruined. (Although I'll agree with her that Mike shouldn't have been sloshed.)

Dr. Phil's gift only plays into the wedding industry's script that every couple has to break the bank for a wedding that's just like what Diane and Charles had. This is a recipe for disaster.

Here's how to have a fun wedding: Keep is simple, have low expectations and assume that a couple things will go wrong. You'll have a great time.

Marvin, I hope you will run the other way.  I hope this show helped you see your Angela's intentions and true heart.  You will regret this decision.  A lot of women have put themselves through school as single mothers--that does not give someone a license for such utter selfishness.  She's got issues that you'll be saddled with all your life.  I'd at a minimum put this wedding off--but, on the other hand, as Angela said, she'd just get another groom.  Does that not show you something?

 I can't believe you gave this woman(Janae) a new wedding!  You should have told her to get over it  and to thank God she has all her body parts, is not blind, doesn't have a terminal illness -- whatever!!   Life  has  good days and bad.  Her wedding day may not have been what she considered a good day, but get over it.  Thank God the man she loves is at her side and not in Iraq or some other God-forsaken place.  Oh, boo hoo!  Now she gets a new wedding, at your expense, and what has she learned?  Whenever something goes wrong, cry enough and Dr. Phil will fix it!!!!   Dr. Phil spend your money on some deserving soul - not some spoiled brat! 

That's my opinion!

I have recently had 2 of my daughters married.  One was poor as a church mouse and bride and groom families pithched in for the wedding,  It was beautiful, she looked wonderful, had her sister and a special cousin as bridesmaid.  Low keyed and wonderful.

 

Her older sister was married a year later.  Her  fiance had significant funds and paid for the wedding.  But while it was bigger, as far as guests, and an awesome band played, it was still a family affair.

 

i guess my point is, money, no money, a wedding is about inviting your f friends and family to celebrate, with you,a special day in your life. It is your day, but to think it is all about you is selfish.  I am proud of both of my daughters, one with money to spend, one without, but the feeling in both weddings was the same.  Both girls were happy to have family and friends there to celebrate with them.

 

I think Angela is way off base.  She isn't celebrateing her union, she just want everyone to focus on her! This is  entitlement, and it is out of control.  A wedding should not be all about the bride.  A wedding is about a joinng of souls, a celebration of this with your family and friends, Yes , you chose your dress, the food, the flowers, but in the end, your guests don't remember this.  They visit with friends, like to eat well, eon't remember what yout bridesmaids wore. But they came to celebrate your new life, not your dress, or bridesmaids maicures. 

 

I have a problem with entitlement... where is this worlf going

If people wouldn't spend like $20,000++++ on their weddings... imagine how many homeless families they could help instead. Or how many battered women and children could be helped.

Helping a struggling loved one out financially. One PLUS years of college paid for. An ENTIRE downpayment on a home. Paying off student loan. One or MORE new cars if they want to use the money for themselves instead....

My vote is to invite all my friends and family to a casual outdoor wedding. Afterwards, a nice potluck outside under the afternoon sun and then the evening stars. I would splurge on a good photographer, but that's about all. The rest, "Simply done so that others may simply live."

Marvin, do ***NOT*** get married until AFTER Angela is healed. In fact, you should probably end the engagement because all the engagement is doing is telling Angela you are fine with her acting in such an insecure, ego-centric manner. I guarantee you that being married to a control freak is HELL. My suggestion is you withdraw from the engagement even if it costs you the ring... $3,000 is SO much cheaper than what living to a control freak will cost your soul.

If you marry her, chances are very high you'll end up like these people I know. The wife is seriously overweight and just a miserable person to be with. She publickly ***screams*** at her husband who is now so demoralized that when we suggest he walk away from her (they have no children) he says it's not that bad. Having his wife scream at him "is not that bad???"

Thus, I vote that you end your relationship with Angela, period. There are SO many wonderful women out there who will NOT destroy your self-esteem! Please let Angela the control-freak go and bring a wonderful woman into your life instead!!

Today's brides need to be reminded that the marriage is much more important than the wedding day.  I realize that a really nice wedding is wonderful, but if one is not possible or turns out not as expected, the couple needs to be able to move beyond that.

 

On April 9, 1973, my husband and I eloped to Miami, Oklahoma, where you could get married in one day just like in Las Vegas.  This coming April 9, we will celebrate our 35th Wedding Anniversary.  We have definitely had our trials and tribulations beginning with that quick wedding and no honeymoon. 

 

My husband had a farm with cattle and hogs, therefore, the luxury of a honeymoon was out of the question as we needed to be there the next day to work on the farm.  We raised three wonderful boys into outstanding young men, have a grandaughter and a grandson on the way, have managed my husband's heart disease successfully since 1981, and to this very day, have not gotten to that honeymoon.  In all likelihood, never will but it is not the thing that makes our marriage successful, and it has never been. 

 

We try and continue to work at our marriage every day as we believe that is what is required to succeed.