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Topic : 06/23 Alter Egos

Number of Replies: 257
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Created on : Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:11:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/26/08) Do you know someone whose private persona is dramatically different from the face he or she shows to the world? Dr. Phil’s guests say their mates lead a double life, and it's wreaking havoc on their relationships. Kerrylee found love online with a man named Al and thought he was a pilot fighting overseas in the war. After 32 months of cyber courtship, she’s now engaged to this man she’s never met. Kerrylee started having doubts that Al was as young as he stated in his profile. Is her Prince Charming really a toad in disguise? Dr. Phil puts private investigator Harold Copus on the case to find out. You won’t believe what he digs up! Then, Dean says his wife, Deb, has a split personality. For the past three years, she has pretended to be a hip 35-year-old with no kids, but she’s actually a 52-year-old grandmother with three adult children! Deb says this alter ego gives her clout to manage rock bands, but is she simply afraid of growing old? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 25, 2008, 10:49 am CDT

Amen to that!

Quote From: wespauley

Women go onto the internet with delusions of finding the perfect man. They set their standards so high that they totally ignore the men who are actually socially compatible with them as being "not good enough". Then comes the sociopath who has no qualms about taking them for a ride. Trust me, there are no single, gorgeous, highly successful men on the internet looking for middle aged women on the internet. As Dr. Phil likes to say "Get real!"

I agree. If a man is such a great catch he isn't going to be on the internet, someone who knows him personally would have already snagged him.

 

With that being said I can see why so many women are so easily fooled.They all just want love and happiness and who wants to believe that there are people who will take advantage of women or men that are so vulnerable?

 

I'm just thankful that I'm married and I don't have to deal with all that, but I'm glad she came on the show and told her story. Maybe others in a similar situation will wake up or be a little more weary when talking to strangers on the Internet.  

 
June 25, 2008, 12:02 pm CDT

to Kerrylee

Why did Al ask you for the $5500?  I don't think you said why he asked for the money.  Is it a possibility that he was scamming women in donating money to him?
 
June 25, 2008, 7:39 pm CDT

Hopes, Dreams Delusions

Years ago when chat rooms were relatively new I spent a lot of time chatting and "meeting" people on-line.  And I started chatting with a guy who told me he was close to my age, an author, etc.  What impressed me most was his his great sense of humour and quick wit.  He seemed pretty taken with me too.  I felt myself getting emotionally attached.  After a short while chatting regularly he very gradually began to confess a few things.  One being that he was grossly overweight and lived with his parents.  If I was my normal self I would have ended the relationship - but I didn't.  Looking back I think what I was in love with was the idea of what I hoped he would be.  The on-line liar is practised at their deceit and I believe that if they ever reveal parts of themselves they wait to do it until they've got an emotional commitment from you.

 

I never sent money or anything like that, although I did meet him,  I ended the relationship shortly after that when I learned he was running several women at the same time.  After learning that it seemed much easier for the delusional web to break and then I was free from it.

 

The thing that bothers me is that I don't consider myself to normally be so gullible or stupid or naive.  I look back in embarrassment and think 'what the hell happened?'  How did I let myself get so deluded by this man?  In retrospect I think that I was in a low state at that time myself and lonely.  I guess I was ripe for the picking.

 

It's easy to say "she's stupid" but remember that people act like this practise and hone their craft and they are skilful at working their delusion.  All I can say is that I'm much wiser now.

 

I've seen comments about 'face-to-face' and I agree that can help to dispel a lot of lies but don't forget that the original con artisits didn't have use of the internet and practised their craft in person.  That leaves me to feel that you really never know another person until you've spent some time together (personally I'd want a police check) - I'd rather meet someone through friends and that way you can get more background.  For now though, I'm happy to be single.

 
June 25, 2008, 7:49 pm CDT

The $$

Quote From: greg954

Why did Al ask you for the $5500?  I don't think you said why he asked for the money.  Is it a possibility that he was scamming women in donating money to him?
He said something about owning a Brownstone house that he needed money for.  It was a complete lie.
 
June 25, 2008, 9:26 pm CDT

06/23 Alter Egos

Quote From: kerrylee2008

Hello Lynn,

I hope you and Gary are doing well.  In answer to your question...Well...I guess not!  But it is what it is...If this humiliation helps even just 1 woman then I will bear it with pride.  Take care and be safe.

Hey Kerrie,
Well Thank God for Humiliation.
It distinguishes between the conceited and the humble, the superficial and the honest, the appreciation of being human and the facade of living in a glass house.
Lessons are learned everyday we are alive.
Hopefully your courage to go on national television reminds us all of our responsibility to live in a humble, honest spirit and to honor ourselves in the best way we may know how, but your courage is to be commended.


 
September 18, 2008, 9:03 am CDT

Common sense is not as common

I just saw this show here in Europe. When Kerrylee stood in front of Al's house and declared that honor was dead, all I could say was 'common sense is dead'!

Dr.Phil, aren't there more important problems to solve?
 
January 14, 2009, 9:10 am CST

Lying about Children??

Hi, I just saw the show in Holland... When I heard her say that everytime the band comes to her house, she removes all of the children's pictures and her husband needs to lie with her about them, I had to think of my mum.

My mother is 51, lives in Bonaire. But when she still lived with us in Holland (she has 4 doughters), she was 48. She has been married four times, and everytime she had a date with a man, she lied about her age. She said she was 38, because the guys always were younger. But because she was 10 years younger, the 2 oldest doughters (myself and my sister) were too old to be her doughters, so she said we were neices... When she had a relationship with a man, it was her birthday and he also came. So everybody had to lie with her!!!!!

Now she's married for the 5th time with a moslim, and she hasn't seen her doughters for 3 years.

I think she will always have a problem with her age....

 

Thanks for listening to my story, although this is just a little piece of it!

 
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