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Topic : 06/23 Alter Egos

Number of Replies: 257
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Created on : Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:11:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/26/08) Do you know someone whose private persona is dramatically different from the face he or she shows to the world? Dr. Phil’s guests say their mates lead a double life, and it's wreaking havoc on their relationships. Kerrylee found love online with a man named Al and thought he was a pilot fighting overseas in the war. After 32 months of cyber courtship, she’s now engaged to this man she’s never met. Kerrylee started having doubts that Al was as young as he stated in his profile. Is her Prince Charming really a toad in disguise? Dr. Phil puts private investigator Harold Copus on the case to find out. You won’t believe what he digs up! Then, Dean says his wife, Deb, has a split personality. For the past three years, she has pretended to be a hip 35-year-old with no kids, but she’s actually a 52-year-old grandmother with three adult children! Deb says this alter ego gives her clout to manage rock bands, but is she simply afraid of growing old? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 26, 2008, 6:48 am CST

02/26 Alter Egos

Anybody who tells that woman that she looks 35 needs to stop the dope and get some glasses. And then her husband needs to tell her to hit the road. I have to give credit to Dr. Phil for his constraint. I would have to tell that woman what she really is. And that is not some woman with an alter ego, but some one who for some reason refuses to grow up and face her responsibilties. She sees these people in these rock bands living their free and easy lifestyles with no children or grandchildren. They travel from place to place and she wants that even if it is vicariously.

 
February 26, 2008, 7:08 am CST

really stupid show

This has to be one of the silliest and uninteresting show I've seen. Why do we care about helping this woman find a man who deceived her on the internet. Shouldn't it have been more important to deal with the fact that not only did she quote become engaged, but she sent money to someone she had never met. How unsmart can you be. I am not saying that he wasn't a slime to do what he did, but come on shouldn't she deal with the fact that she really screwed up.  If Dr. Phil had dealt with that side of it more, it might have been a semi interesting show.

 

The other woman has to be pretty blind to not see that she doesn't look 35 and that the bands wouldn't care about her age just the gigs she could help them get. This was just so totally about getting on TV and helping to make a name for herself. Dr. Phil give me something that I can really care about, not these silly fluff pieces.I really like your show, but help people who really need help, please.

 
February 26, 2008, 7:25 am CST

02/26 Alter Egos

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

I have to go out with people, actually see them in person to get a feel for who they are.  The internet makes it easy to lie and edit out all the things you don't like about yourself.  It's not all bad, but when people get into things like creating fake identities to mess with others, they're cyber-punks who need to find something better to do, IMO. 

 

   I have to know someone 6 months before I decide if I like them.  I was standing at the alter, after saying I do, before I fell in love.
 
February 26, 2008, 8:22 am CST

Been there - Done that!

 I do understand where Kerrylee is coming from.  I had a gentleman who was living, supposedly, only 100 miles from me contact me via a very well known and established dating site.  We spoke on the phone, IMs, e-mails, exchanged photos, he sent me the most beautiful flowers "just because" but I could never get him to meet in person.  Right after meeting he told me that he had to go take care of some business in a foreign country.  I need to let you know that I had never heard of the scams that were going on via the Internet as I did not have a computer before and never paid attention if it was mentioned on the News because I knew that it didn't concern me.  Never did I think that it eventually would...  Anyway he gave me the full song and dance story and I fell for it hook line and sinker!!  His business was taking him to Africa but he would only be gone a week, maybe 2, and when he got back we would be meeting; he even sent me pictures from Africa which pertained to his business.  I started getting very leery when he started asking me if he could have items sent to me and then I was to send them on to his shipper so that he could send them on to Peter (that's the guy's supposed name).  I did bring into the picture a friend of mine who is a Detective who wanted Peter to call him.  Peter did but as the Detective said Peter could tell him anything and we still wouldn't know if he was legit or not.  I got an e-mail, or maybe it was an IM, from Peter stating that he was staying in Africa.  Next thing I know he is supposedly in England having surgery due to burst appendix.  Now my little brain is trying to figure out when Africa closed ALL of it's hospitals....  Peter and I started talking again and on a very regular basis.  I bought him and shipped to him his Christmas present and he had mine mailed to me; we didn't get to spend Christmas together like he said due to "business meetings".  To keep from going into a bunch more detail I will just say that I got taken for several hundred dollars and that never happened again!   I lost touch of him for a couple of months.  When I finally heard from him he told me that he had been in a bad motorcycle accident where the driver of the bike had been killed and Peter had been badly injured.  I lost touch with him again.  Out of the blue I get a phone call from him apologizing for his staying away so long.  After a couple more phone calls, e-mails and IMs, he ask if I can loan him $300; he just can't go to his friends with this.  I wouldn't do it!  I didn't hear from him for months when all of a sudden I get an IM telling me of how no one has ever loved him like me, that he has been in jail due to his assistant not paying the necessary taxes, that the Government had seized every thing that he owed and he was trying to start the business back up and get his backers to trust him again.  I've not heard another word out of him and it has been almost a year.  Oh, he was good at it all!  Like Kerrylee, I heard everything that I was needing and wanting to hear.  We talked about not just the "now" but the future...  I fell!!!   Now the funny part of this?  About 3 months ago I went back to that same dating site and got an e-mail from a guy who told me almost the exact same story that Peter had about his childhood, his parents, his place in Washington and about what his ex-fiance did to him.  I mean it was almost word for word..  I confronted this guy about his story and all he could say was that I misunderstood him...  Go figure!!!   
 
February 26, 2008, 8:39 am CST

Cyber-Stupid

See, this is what I keep trying to tell you women out there.....getting online and trusting some stranger, getting "engaged" to someone you haven't even met, and sending money to him? DUH! The only smart thing this woman did was deciding to change her address, email & phone number and getting rid of this jerk...and I'm not really sure she will stick with that. Someone that gullible is a cyber-liar's wet dream!

 

As far as the second woman goes....no, she doesn't look 35...but she does look really good, and I can almost understand why she did what she did. It's hard to grow old...especially when you don't feel your age and are in a youth-oriented business. Regardless, though, you have to give her a lot of credit for ending the facade and coming clean. I doubt it will affect her business....not if she's good at what she does.

 

Rock on, Gram!

 

Please visit my website WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM  and click on my article titled "CYBER-STUPID".

 
February 26, 2008, 8:43 am CST

What?

Quote From: derevna33

   I have to know someone 6 months before I decide if I like them.  I was standing at the alter, after saying I do, before I fell in love.
There just HAS to be way more to your story! You couldn't possibly have actually agreed to marry someone you didn't love in HOPES of falling in love at the alter, did you? 
 
February 26, 2008, 8:50 am CST

I Not only fell for the charade-it coninues while he is living with me!!!

I hate to say it - but I to fell for an online romance.  My problem is that the guy is now living with me!!!

I am by no means a stupid person, but I was hearing what I wanted, and at times desperately needed to hear. I saw the red flags and ignored my intuition many times.  I caught him in lies that he would always reason away. Living on separate coastlines, we corresponded for over a year, which graduated into 9 hour conversations for days on end. I did my best to verify his credentials...not much to go on. No drivers license, credit cards-nothing! His constant threats of suicide and disappearing acts kept me on edge and glued to him. I did try to break away many times, only to be sucked back in by his threat s of suicide.  His story was always one of bad misfortune, down and out, with no one to turn to. I being lonely myself found a mutual partner. His demeanor was (and still is), quiet, unassuming, understanding and sympathetic.  After many broken promises to meet, I gave the ultimatum: Stop leading me on...if you don't come by Xmas-we're done!  Many more crying jags and hard luck stories, I bought him the plane fare to come. (FYI: Any and all investments toward him have been now reimbursed.) When he got here, it was a totally different story!  There has been nothing to prove or validate any of the things he professed to me.  It has been me making all the effort, with very little return.  I have shared my whole life and everything I have with someone I thought I would have a future with.  After a year of living with someone whom I think is in the closet about his sexuality (as there has been no intimacy to speak of), I finally had it with all his drama and have demoted him to roommate status.  I said early on, that if we met and it didn't work out, that we could remain friends and help each other to get to where we needed to be.  Unfortunately it has not been reciprocated.  He is sneaky, secretive, ambiguous and clearly continues to lie about who and what he is to all.  I haven't figured out if he is mentally imbalanced, or just a very shrewd operator!  He actually still talks about the future together, even though we do not even see each other or communicate!!!  In any event, I find myself asking how did I get here, and how and when will it end. It's unfortunate that we need each other for financial support. On one hand I feel sorry for him and on the other I can't stand him!  I'm pissed at myself for not having better judgment and letting him manipulate me.  And now I'm searching for the how and when to a new future without him

 
February 26, 2008, 8:50 am CST

02/26 Alter Egos

Quote From: bejae_pas

 I do understand where Kerrylee is coming from.  I had a gentleman who was living, supposedly, only 100 miles from me contact me via a very well known and established dating site.  We spoke on the phone, IMs, e-mails, exchanged photos, he sent me the most beautiful flowers "just because" but I could never get him to meet in person.  Right after meeting he told me that he had to go take care of some business in a foreign country.  I need to let you know that I had never heard of the scams that were going on via the Internet as I did not have a computer before and never paid attention if it was mentioned on the News because I knew that it didn't concern me.  Never did I think that it eventually would...  Anyway he gave me the full song and dance story and I fell for it hook line and sinker!!  His business was taking him to Africa but he would only be gone a week, maybe 2, and when he got back we would be meeting; he even sent me pictures from Africa which pertained to his business.  I started getting very leery when he started asking me if he could have items sent to me and then I was to send them on to his shipper so that he could send them on to Peter (that's the guy's supposed name).  I did bring into the picture a friend of mine who is a Detective who wanted Peter to call him.  Peter did but as the Detective said Peter could tell him anything and we still wouldn't know if he was legit or not.  I got an e-mail, or maybe it was an IM, from Peter stating that he was staying in Africa.  Next thing I know he is supposedly in England having surgery due to burst appendix.  Now my little brain is trying to figure out when Africa closed ALL of it's hospitals....  Peter and I started talking again and on a very regular basis.  I bought him and shipped to him his Christmas present and he had mine mailed to me; we didn't get to spend Christmas together like he said due to "business meetings".  To keep from going into a bunch more detail I will just say that I got taken for several hundred dollars and that never happened again!   I lost touch of him for a couple of months.  When I finally heard from him he told me that he had been in a bad motorcycle accident where the driver of the bike had been killed and Peter had been badly injured.  I lost touch with him again.  Out of the blue I get a phone call from him apologizing for his staying away so long.  After a couple more phone calls, e-mails and IMs, he ask if I can loan him $300; he just can't go to his friends with this.  I wouldn't do it!  I didn't hear from him for months when all of a sudden I get an IM telling me of how no one has ever loved him like me, that he has been in jail due to his assistant not paying the necessary taxes, that the Government had seized every thing that he owed and he was trying to start the business back up and get his backers to trust him again.  I've not heard another word out of him and it has been almost a year.  Oh, he was good at it all!  Like Kerrylee, I heard everything that I was needing and wanting to hear.  We talked about not just the "now" but the future...  I fell!!!   Now the funny part of this?  About 3 months ago I went back to that same dating site and got an e-mail from a guy who told me almost the exact same story that Peter had about his childhood, his parents, his place in Washington and about what his ex-fiance did to him.  I mean it was almost word for word..  I confronted this guy about his story and all he could say was that I misunderstood him...  Go figure!!!   

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ladies: Never, never NEVER give or loan ANY man ANY money at ANY time....but especially, not someone you meet online and don't know from Adam!! If some guy comes up with some dramatic desperate story about needing money for any reason, he's a con. And you can take THAT to the bank!

 

WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM ...click on "Cyber-Stupid".

 
February 26, 2008, 8:51 am CST

Getting Kerrylee's Money Back

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I'm a bit surprised that you suggested Kerrylee, from your Alter Egos episode, just accept the loss of her $5,500.  Why not take the lead from the wealth of "Judge Shows" out there and have her take him to small claims court?  Every Judge show I've seen Awards the victim their money back when they have e-mail & text message proof that the offender has offered to pay their money back!  Why should he be allowed to get away with "Cyber Robbery"... what will keep him from doing this again to someone else?  After all if he can get away with it this time virtually unscathed, then why wouldn't he, or for that matter someone else out there like him watching your show, not try it again?

 

Her heart and trust will have to heal on their own, but a Judge can correct the financial loss, especially since she's got everything she needs to prove her case like e-mails, text messages, his correct name and address, etc, etc.

 

Thanks for listening,

K

 
February 26, 2008, 8:56 am CST

55 loves Heavy Metal music

I watched the alter ego show today. And was very sad to see Deb the grandma trying to be 35 to be around and manage rock bands. I am 55 years young love Heavy Metal Music and have managed a rock band.

Never lied about my age though. The people I hang around with are younger and have NO problem with my age. My son who is 35 loves the fact that him and I love the same kind of music. I see no reason to lie about how old you are or hide the fact that I have grandchildren that like the same music. My grandson who is 12 years old thinks his grandma is COOL cause she likes Linkin Park. And I really do, it is not a put on to fit in.

Yes I dye my hair and keep up my looks but, I don't dress like a teenie-weenie either. I dress like a mature lady, that's all hip. I feel there is nothing wrong with looking and feeling young, just don't need to pretend

I am something I am not.

I hope Deb finds out she can be "Sweet" without all the fakeness and hiding who she really is. She is heathly and has a wonderful husband and family. Who knows her grandchildren may grow up to think grandma is "Sweet" too.

My 2 cents thanks

 
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