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Topic : 06/23 Alter Egos

Number of Replies: 257
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Created on : Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:11:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/26/08) Do you know someone whose private persona is dramatically different from the face he or she shows to the world? Dr. Phil’s guests say their mates lead a double life, and it's wreaking havoc on their relationships. Kerrylee found love online with a man named Al and thought he was a pilot fighting overseas in the war. After 32 months of cyber courtship, she’s now engaged to this man she’s never met. Kerrylee started having doubts that Al was as young as he stated in his profile. Is her Prince Charming really a toad in disguise? Dr. Phil puts private investigator Harold Copus on the case to find out. You won’t believe what he digs up! Then, Dean says his wife, Deb, has a split personality. For the past three years, she has pretended to be a hip 35-year-old with no kids, but she’s actually a 52-year-old grandmother with three adult children! Deb says this alter ego gives her clout to manage rock bands, but is she simply afraid of growing old? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 26, 2008, 9:05 am CST

Thanks for sharing

Quote From: christab

I have a friend who regulary goes online and pretends to be other people.  She pretends to be a guy and talks with women.  She has a "girlfriend" who thinks she is a guy.  These people send my friend money and games and other stuff.

 

I am so baffelled at how she can get away with it, but there are so many people who will belive anything.  I mean OMG they haven't even spoken to eachother over the phone, but they will send her money and goodies.

 

I am sharing this with all of you so you know what is out there. If you are involved with someone online and it seems fishy....it probably is not all who you think they are.

I'm glad you posted this message...maybe someone will listen!

 

Going online and giving people any personal information is pretty much like agreeing to meet a stranger in a dark, deserted alley at midnight. And sending them money...or anything else.. is the epitome of stupid!

 

WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/   click on "Cyber-stupid"

 
February 26, 2008, 9:13 am CST

Hey Christab

Quote From: christab

I have a friend who regulary goes online and pretends to be other people.  She pretends to be a guy and talks with women.  She has a "girlfriend" who thinks she is a guy.  These people send my friend money and games and other stuff.

 

I am so baffelled at how she can get away with it, but there are so many people who will belive anything.  I mean OMG they haven't even spoken to eachother over the phone, but they will send her money and goodies.

 

I am sharing this with all of you so you know what is out there. If you are involved with someone online and it seems fishy....it probably is not all who you think they are.

Who is the cute little guy?  What a pumpkin!
 
February 26, 2008, 9:22 am CST

There's nothing like first-hand experience

Quote From: asten55

I hate to say it - but I to fell for an online romance.  My problem is that the guy is now living with me!!!

I am by no means a stupid person, but I was hearing what I wanted, and at times desperately needed to hear. I saw the red flags and ignored my intuition many times.  I caught him in lies that he would always reason away. Living on separate coastlines, we corresponded for over a year, which graduated into 9 hour conversations for days on end. I did my best to verify his credentials...not much to go on. No drivers license, credit cards-nothing! His constant threats of suicide and disappearing acts kept me on edge and glued to him. I did try to break away many times, only to be sucked back in by his threat s of suicide.  His story was always one of bad misfortune, down and out, with no one to turn to. I being lonely myself found a mutual partner. His demeanor was (and still is), quiet, unassuming, understanding and sympathetic.  After many broken promises to meet, I gave the ultimatum: Stop leading me on...if you don't come by Xmas-we're done!  Many more crying jags and hard luck stories, I bought him the plane fare to come. (FYI: Any and all investments toward him have been now reimbursed.) When he got here, it was a totally different story!  There has been nothing to prove or validate any of the things he professed to me.  It has been me making all the effort, with very little return.  I have shared my whole life and everything I have with someone I thought I would have a future with.  After a year of living with someone whom I think is in the closet about his sexuality (as there has been no intimacy to speak of), I finally had it with all his drama and have demoted him to roommate status.  I said early on, that if we met and it didn't work out, that we could remain friends and help each other to get to where we needed to be.  Unfortunately it has not been reciprocated.  He is sneaky, secretive, ambiguous and clearly continues to lie about who and what he is to all.  I haven't figured out if he is mentally imbalanced, or just a very shrewd operator!  He actually still talks about the future together, even though we do not even see each other or communicate!!!  In any event, I find myself asking how did I get here, and how and when will it end. It's unfortunate that we need each other for financial support. On one hand I feel sorry for him and on the other I can't stand him!  I'm pissed at myself for not having better judgment and letting him manipulate me.  And now I'm searching for the how and when to a new future without him

I'm sure you kick yourself on a regular basis, so I won't put you down in any way. I'm sorry that you had that experience, but please, get out of this mess before something really tragic happens.

 

People who constantly threaten suicide like he is, are masters of manipulation. He is doing this because it works. ....make it not work anymore and see how fast he suddenly finds the will to live. (I worked for quite some time on a Suicide-Crisis Hotline so I'm very familiar with that.)  And please....he IS mentally unbalanced. You know that. Listen to your instincts from now on.....those instincts are screaming at you! People will do to us what we allow them to do. Care enough about yourself to get this parasite out of your house and out of your life immediately!

 

Please go to my website WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/  click on "Cyber-Stupid" (Feb. posts) and then go to January posts and scroll down to "Even A Turtle.......", which may help you find a way to get out of this mess.

 

I wish you luck and peace.  

 
February 26, 2008, 9:27 am CST

Phishing..

Quote From: cndrlla

I'm glad you posted this message...maybe someone will listen!

 

Going online and giving people any personal information is pretty much like agreeing to meet a stranger in a dark, deserted alley at midnight. And sending them money...or anything else.. is the epitome of stupid!

 

WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/   click on "Cyber-stupid"

 

That's like falling for one of those phishing scams that say that they're a bank and need your financial information, then they use it to clean out your account and steal your identity.

 

"A number of companies make free browser plug-ins that can detect phishing sites. ... Some assemble a list of fake sites based on reports from users who've stumbled upon them. Others analyze the site's address to see if it's misleading: For instance, the URL might have "ebay" in it when it's not actually a part of ebay.com. Several toolbars use a combination of approaches."

 

http://www.pcworld.com/article/125739-1/article.html

 

Anyway, if you're suspicious about a scam, report it to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC).

 
February 26, 2008, 9:32 am CST

Great point!

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

If you take message boards and myspace seriously, you might as well take Wikipedia seriously.  Some people with multiple accounts go on and have little conversations/soap operas with themselves and others just to mess with other people. 

 

To the woman who got engaged online, what were you thinking when you committed to buy the merchandise sight unseen?  What if he was some serial killer looking for his next victim?  If he's lying to you, why bother with his a** ?  Life's too short for that crap.

I had to laugh at your post... people with multiple accounts who go on and have little conversations with themselves just to mess with others? Jeez!  I learned something new today....Cyber-space is even worse than I thought!   HAHAHA!
 
February 26, 2008, 10:17 am CST

Pretenders are insecure, unhappy and immature

How foolish we people are!  We must really not like ourselves or respect ourselves very much if we have to pretend to be someone we're not.

 

Confident people are open, honest people. They don't care what people think of them because they try to be the best that they can be. I know not everyone will like me (I'm sometimes too loud and don't use enough tact), but I try to always be honest and giving and do for others the way I would like others to do for (AKA treat) me.

 

People need to look in he mirror and ask themselves if they like what they see and if Jesus would be proud of their inner reflection. If the answer is no, they know they need to get to work to change things.

 

Con arts, pretenders and liars are simply insecure, unhappy, immature people.

 

And anyone who marries someone they do not know PERSONALLY and WELL is a fool. Sorry, but today's climate is just too dangerous (physically and emotionally) to be so trusting. Marriage and comittment are supposed to last a lifetime (with God), so take the time to REALLY get to know the person you plan to marry. Be best friends FIRST. Then marry.

 
February 26, 2008, 11:21 am CST

True story...

Quote From: cndrlla

I had to laugh at your post... people with multiple accounts who go on and have little conversations with themselves just to mess with others? Jeez!  I learned something new today....Cyber-space is even worse than I thought!   HAHAHA!

 

I was a member of a message board for a primetime show.  Most people just talked about the story line.  BUT there were a few posts from an obvious fake...enter "Mr. Tree".  Mr. Tree has this really elaborate backstory and comments about the characters on the show.  Enter Mrs. Tree, with HER elaborate background.  These two argued with each other in an inane back and forth. 

 

I don't know if they were the same person or two different people engrossed in this game.  I just rolled my eyes and went on.  I'm sure that there are quite a few believable fakes out there corresponding with "real" people, and that could be dangerous.  The internet isn't a reliable social network, although it's not all bad.

 
February 26, 2008, 12:17 pm CST

Miltary Men

The same thing happened to my sister. A gentleman by the name of Jason who she met on my space ended take her also. His wife caught him and called my sister and blew his cover. Apparently he had 3 to 4 girlfriends. So are all our Military men so depressed and lonesome that they have to scam people/
 
February 26, 2008, 12:21 pm CST

Sad, sad, sad

We live in an isolated world in which 52-year-old women seek companionship from strangers on line. Ironically, online activities are solitary, which gives isolated individuals the feeling of interacting in a community, when nothing could be further than the truth. Although online relationships provide a greater opportunity for open communication, they also increase the chances for deception. I suppose people have found "true love" on line, but I suspect those stories are few and far between.
 
February 26, 2008, 12:44 pm CST

IS SHE NUTS?

Quote From: derevna33

         I must be a different type of person than the two guests on the show.  They live in a fantasy world, untroubled by reality.  They aren't liars; they are pretenders. They want to find love and happiness in a make believe world.

   When I am on-line, I do not have an agenda.  I don't want things from other people.  I certainly won't lie or delude myself.  I am not that kind of "friend," 

 

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!! She has as much a problem as he does. JUST LET IT GO
She asked to be scammed.
 
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