Topic : 06/23 Alter Egos

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Created on : Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:11:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/26/08) Do you know someone whose private persona is dramatically different from the face he or she shows to the world? Dr. Phil’s guests say their mates lead a double life, and it's wreaking havoc on their relationships. Kerrylee found love online with a man named Al and thought he was a pilot fighting overseas in the war. After 32 months of cyber courtship, she’s now engaged to this man she’s never met. Kerrylee started having doubts that Al was as young as he stated in his profile. Is her Prince Charming really a toad in disguise? Dr. Phil puts private investigator Harold Copus on the case to find out. You won’t believe what he digs up! Then, Dean says his wife, Deb, has a split personality. For the past three years, she has pretended to be a hip 35-year-old with no kids, but she’s actually a 52-year-old grandmother with three adult children! Deb says this alter ego gives her clout to manage rock bands, but is she simply afraid of growing old? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.


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February 26, 2008, 5:18 pm PST

Wake up!!

Quote From: sammyg

WE CARE...because thousands of other women have been  in the same situation, and perhaps...duh...sharing these stories will prevent others from making the same mistake!

Mistake??  Bottom line, if you are that desperate and stupid that you would send money to someone you have never met, you deserve what you get.  Take some responsibility for your actions.  Stop boo-hooing about it. 

 
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February 26, 2008, 5:19 pm PST

Deb, pretending to be young

Hun, you're fooling no one except the drug-addled. My guess is the bands think you're a dotty middle-aged woman trying to be young, and they like you anyway. I'm 57. I hang out online with peeps of all ages, from young to older than me. I don't pretend to be what I'm not. I don't dye my hair. I play Runescape alongside 15 and 16 year olds that can't believe a grandma plays the game. My grandson may be the next big pop music star, and my daughters BFF also gets gigs for local (to her) rock bands. My daughters BF is n a band.

My guess is the bands won't care. Don't lie and be what you aren't. Don't make your husband lie, and don't deny your kids and grandkids.

I've never had but one kid freak out when he found out I was a 57 y grandma. Most of 'em think it's pretty cool that I know what they're texting, even if I don't type in shorthand or leetspeak.

One kid on Runescape, a fourteen year old, when he found I was a grandma, said, "You rock my toesocks!"
I still get a giggle out of that. My guess is your bands will still like you. They'll respect you more for being a grandma who's hip enough to work in the business and appreciate the music.

Dare to be yourself!
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:29 pm PST

Free advice

Quote From: samalie

Hey everyone,

This is really creepy... Well, I think I need everyone's advice on this...

I've been playing an online game for about 3 years and I have lots of friends there...

I accepted giving my email to one of them whom I've always trusted... (We used to be boyfriend/girlfriend like 2 years ago but now we're just friends, and he has been on my Facebook list for about 4 months.)

I added him to my Facebook list and saw many pics of him and he saw some pics of myself as well...

I mean, he seems a fine person and he never did or said anything to hurt me... I just think he is trustworthy, but all of these stories about the net makes me sick.... :s

So, what should I do? Should I just remove him or not?

Share your opinion frankly, please!

If you're not planning an affair, you could be just fine. I'm not on Facebook, cos I got on myspace (my daughte dragged me there, kicking and screaming) but I am on some online lists and have made many, many online friends, far and near. Many of them have become close friends offline, as well.

If the dude asks for money, run, don't walk, the other way. If he's just being a friend online, what's the harm? If you and he start thinking you'd like to be more than friends, don't do it until or unless you can meet face to face in safe social situations. It all boils down to the same common sense rules for meeting people you followed before the Net existed. Sometimes guys would meet a woman in a bar, and he'd turn out to be a creep.. but sometimes things would work out.

But I've had good luck, no stalking from creeps online (maybe because I present myself as a person who can take care of herself) and all the friends online I've met have been good people.

This situation doesn't sound like a high risk one for you, if you just use common sense.

 
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February 26, 2008, 5:42 pm PST

02/26 Alter Egos

Quote From: starshadow666

Hun, you're fooling no one except the drug-addled. My guess is the bands think you're a dotty middle-aged woman trying to be young, and they like you anyway. I'm 57. I hang out online with peeps of all ages, from young to older than me. I don't pretend to be what I'm not. I don't dye my hair. I play Runescape alongside 15 and 16 year olds that can't believe a grandma plays the game. My grandson may be the next big pop music star, and my daughters BFF also gets gigs for local (to her) rock bands. My daughters BF is n a band.

My guess is the bands won't care. Don't lie and be what you aren't. Don't make your husband lie, and don't deny your kids and grandkids.

I've never had but one kid freak out when he found out I was a 57 y grandma. Most of 'em think it's pretty cool that I know what they're texting, even if I don't type in shorthand or leetspeak.

One kid on Runescape, a fourteen year old, when he found I was a grandma, said, "You rock my toesocks!"
I still get a giggle out of that. My guess is your bands will still like you. They'll respect you more for being a grandma who's hip enough to work in the business and appreciate the music.

Dare to be yourself!
Thank you starshadow66 for your advise.

After the show, I told 2 of my bands. Their reply:  We love you more!

 
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:43 pm PST

msuzyq2u

Quote From: vintagecrazy53

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!! She has as much a problem as he does. JUST LET IT GO
She asked to be scammed.
I could not agree with you more.  It boggles my mind every time I hear about some woman giving thousands of dollars to some man....especially someone they have never met!  Would't you think people would be smarter, knowing all the scams going on in the world today? 
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:45 pm PST

Al livesin ur neighbohood!!!!

I was watchng Dr.Phil are recognized the house where the were trying to get "AL" to come out and talk. OH MY GOODNESS. He drives around our neighborhood with his dog in his Jaguar and talks to everybody and he told us as well that he was a retired pilot. I have never felt comfortable around him.  He needs Jesus!!!!!!
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:45 pm PST

Sad and Pathetic, you have no idea!

Quote From: qlittlestar

I think lady number one was just lonely.  We all want to believe that a man loves us and says nice things, but  ladies, no matter what, the key to recognising a scam is IF YOU FIND YOURSELF PARTING FROM YOUR MONEY WITH A STRANGER, something is up. If people really are in need, I believe they would go through the proper channels.

Lady number 2 is ust PATHETIC, she hates hypocrites but does not seem to have any remorse nor shows any signs of stopping.  I would love to have such a family of my own and I would be proud.  And she is full of it.  If you are getting the job done for those bands they don't care, they are getting taken care of.  I am a 44 year old musician and when you got the chops and dedication, you get noticed.  There is the part of the industy that caters to the manufactured artist, but when you are dealing with live music, they want someone who knows what they are doing and have talent period.
FYI: my family is cool w/ what I do. They know they are the most important  people in my life.   My daughter emailed me tonight to ignore complete strangers on this message board because you do not know me.

I am very proud of my family...I just separate my family from my work.

I get the job done..I'm damn good at what I do..

Have a great evening!


 
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February 26, 2008, 5:45 pm PST

02/26 Alter Egos

Quote From: samalie

Hey everyone,

This is really creepy... Well, I think I need everyone's advice on this...

I've been playing an online game for about 3 years and I have lots of friends there...

I accepted giving my email to one of them whom I've always trusted... (We used to be boyfriend/girlfriend like 2 years ago but now we're just friends, and he has been on my Facebook list for about 4 months.)

I added him to my Facebook list and saw many pics of him and he saw some pics of myself as well...

I mean, he seems a fine person and he never did or said anything to hurt me... I just think he is trustworthy, but all of these stories about the net makes me sick.... :s

So, what should I do? Should I just remove him or not?

Share your opinion frankly, please!

You say that you and this person used to be boyfriend/girlfriend 2 years ago so I assume that when you were in that kind of relationship that you met in person and therefore could make a better judgment as to whether or not that he is trustworthy.  If however you have never met  and only know him from the internet then I would definitely be very cautious.  Not sure having him on your facebook is a good idea if that is your cirmcumstance.  I do want to believe that most people are honest but that is not the reality.  So if you have never met him in person I say....beware!
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:47 pm PST

mzsuzyq2u

Quote From: cmlyn123

Mistake??  Bottom line, if you are that desperate and stupid that you would send money to someone you have never met, you deserve what you get.  Take some responsibility for your actions.  Stop boo-hooing about it. 

I could not have said it better...I absolutely agree with you.  I will go even further by saying that I thought she was a fool to even leave Christmas presents outside his front door.  What the hell???? 
 
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February 26, 2008, 5:48 pm PST

You are right!

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

To Deb, the grandma trying to fit in with the rock scene, why lie about your age?  You could be 25 and not fit in with that crowd, it's not about age, it's about fitting into a subculture of people.  Much like cliques in high school.   After a certain age, no amount of makeup, hair dye and clothes are going to make you look younger...plastic surgery isn't even a guarantee as it can be botched. So just live in your own skin, be yourself, and stop trying to turn back the clock.  No one else is getting any younger, either.

Thank you for posting re: the show.

You are right!  I've never believed I looked 35-38, I agreed w/ the bands.  And NO, my bands are not druggies...I don't work w/ druggies.
 

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