Topic : 06/23 Alter Egos

I agree. If a man is such a great catch he isn't going to be on the internet, someone who knows him personally would have already snagged him.

With that being said I can see why so many women are so easily fooled.They all just want love and happiness and who wants to believe that there are people who will take advantage of women or men that are so vulnerable?

I'm just thankful that I'm married and I don't have to deal with all that, but I'm glad she came on the show and told her story. Maybe others in a similar situation will wake up or be a little more weary when talking to strangers on the Internet.  

Years ago when chat rooms were relatively new I spent a lot of time chatting and "meeting" people on-line.  And I started chatting with a guy who told me he was close to my age, an author, etc.  What impressed me most was his his great sense of humour and quick wit.  He seemed pretty taken with me too.  I felt myself getting emotionally attached.  After a short while chatting regularly he very gradually began to confess a few things.  One being that he was grossly overweight and lived with his parents.  If I was my normal self I would have ended the relationship - but I didn't.  Looking back I think what I was in love with was the idea of what I hoped he would be.  The on-line liar is practised at their deceit and I believe that if they ever reveal parts of themselves they wait to do it until they've got an emotional commitment from you.

I never sent money or anything like that, although I did meet him,  I ended the relationship shortly after that when I learned he was running several women at the same time.  After learning that it seemed much easier for the delusional web to break and then I was free from it.

The thing that bothers me is that I don't consider myself to normally be so gullible or stupid or naive.  I look back in embarrassment and think 'what the hell happened?'  How did I let myself get so deluded by this man?  In retrospect I think that I was in a low state at that time myself and lonely.  I guess I was ripe for the picking.

It's easy to say "she's stupid" but remember that people act like this practise and hone their craft and they are skilful at working their delusion.  All I can say is that I'm much wiser now.

I've seen comments about 'face-to-face' and I agree that can help to dispel a lot of lies but don't forget that the original con artisits didn't have use of the internet and practised their craft in person.  That leaves me to feel that you really never know another person until you've spent some time together (personally I'd want a police check) - I'd rather meet someone through friends and that way you can get more background.  For now though, I'm happy to be single.