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Topic : 02/27 Internet Cheats

Number of Replies: 105
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Created on : Friday, February 22, 2008, 12:13:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil talks with an engaged couple who can’t agree on what is appropriate online behavior. Tameka wants her fiancé, Keith, to shut down his three MySpace profiles that she says he uses to flirt with other women. She says he’s addicted to the social networking site and has already cheated on her twice with women he’s met online. Keith says he uses his profiles to promote his business as an entertainer, and flirting is just part of the job. He says getting rid of his profiles would be like cutting off his arm! What happens when Tameka creates her own provocative profile? Will it give Keith a taste of his own medicine? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with this couple one month later. Tameka says she’s still suspicious of Keith’s fidelity. Keith says he’s willing to do anything to prove that he is being faithful, but will he take Dr. Phil up on his offer to take a lie detector test? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 27, 2008, 3:09 pm CST

Net Cheats

Good Lord. She needs to "kick his ass to the curb." What a joke!!! He talked too fast anyway. You're better off without him, girl! On the other side, I have a computer that I use at home for both work and play and since I work from home I have to have multiple accounts. To me, if my spouse couldn't trust me to trust myself enough to do what I was supposed to do  (which I do, thank you) which is compose stories, play on eBay and Overstock and my other websites that I know he knows I love, chat with my REAL friends and relatives and email the same, I AM NOT with the RIGHT person. I just love the man I have now!

 
February 27, 2008, 3:12 pm CST

getting password

Quote From: sweetpea513

     He'll probably refuse to give me his password.  I've thought about hacking into it,  what do you think?

I have my boyfriends e-mail password and he has his my space comments FW'd to there and thats how i found out. So, I went to his my space and clicked that I forgot my password and had it sent to his e-mail. Once I got his password I signed on and found that he has been talking to a girl in a very sexual manner. You should DEF find a way to get his password!
 
February 27, 2008, 3:12 pm CST

Ouch!

Quote From: sweetpea513

I have had a Internet profile for a couple of years.  The original reason for setting it up was to keep in touch with my family that lives out of state.  Since then I have come into contact with a few people that I went to school with.  It's very interesting sending messages back and forth,  finding out how one another's lives have turned out.  I have also accepted friends requests of people I don't know.  But we never disclose any personal information.  We just sent comments and short messages, like:  happy holidays, have a nice day.  General stuff like that.  I have never kept my profile or the password from my husband.  I don't have anything to hide.

  Well a few months ago my husband had me to help him create a profile.  I enjoyed working with him on it.  I actually thought it was a good thing that we could keep working together on.  Well at first it wasn't too bad.  Then he and one of his female friend began to get a little too friendly.  It may have been just joking,  but still, in my opinion it was inappropriate.  I explained to him how I felt. He told her that I was making him delete her. (He sounded like a scolded child). He has made other female friends since then.  He changed his password. He told me to stay out of his profile.  I have seen some of the comments he sends to them, like:  "SENDING YOU HUGS", "HELLO TO MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND". Those are just the comments that he posts on some of their profiles.  Some of them I can't see, because their profile is set to private.  And their is no telling what they write back and forth in messages. 

  Some may think that I just sound like a jealous over bearing wife.  But he has cheated on me in the past with women from work, so it's not like he's not capable. 

  I believe that his only contact with these women has been online.  I just don't feel right about the fact that he has relationships with these women, (even if it is just online),  and he denies me access.

 
People aren't nearly as stupid as they want us to think they are.

He knows darn well that what he's doing hurts you and hurts your marriage.

Too many guys think that a marriage license keeps their wives "stuck" married to them no matter what they do. How can you take back your power in your marriage? Or are his actions his way of telling you he's going to do whatever he wants no matter what you think or feel?

Is it worth trying to get him to go to counseling with you? Or would it be best to just walk away from him?
 
February 27, 2008, 3:15 pm CST

Um...

Quote From: stavets34

I've been with my husband for sometime now even before internet came out. But online cheating is not right. But I wanted to say my husband has like to what I counted he has 7 messenger ID's in Yahoo and two in MSN. He is addicted to online chatting and watching these girls get down and dirty. I never had a problem with it but I do have a problem with him forgetting who I am.. So yeah internet sux... Hahaha but I have my fingers cross that it wont ruin my life.
If it was me, I'd leave him to his virtual fantasies and find a great guy who will treat me right.
 
February 27, 2008, 3:16 pm CST

Today's Show

As I was watching today's show. I went from being upset, (with the iggnorant man and his lame player games) to embarrassed! Sister why in the world are you leaving your well being up to this jerk! He obviously is not going to change. He won't even give up the PC for YOU! Please represent big beautiful black women a little better, and say no to this emotional abuse! He's only mistreating you because you let him. Your a beautiful sister, move on. So what if you have a child together. I have 4 with my husband and when he started acting like a fool and cheating I left him and took care of home. You can do it, seek God, know what your worth, and say no and goodbye!!!!

 
February 27, 2008, 3:16 pm CST

02/27 Internet Cheats

Quote From: stavets34

I've been with my husband for sometime now even before internet came out. But online cheating is not right. But I wanted to say my husband has like to what I counted he has 7 messenger ID's in Yahoo and two in MSN. He is addicted to online chatting and watching these girls get down and dirty. I never had a problem with it but I do have a problem with him forgetting who I am.. So yeah internet sux... Hahaha but I have my fingers cross that it wont ruin my life.

  I have to admit.....  i'm a snope.  I was married for 20 years before my divorce.  Internet chat had nothing to do with his cheating and drug use tho.  Now i have a wonderful man,  and I can't help looking at his email.

he does not have a my space account,  and truthfully is not computer swavy.  he DOES look at pretty women ( he's a guy )  but at the same time our sex life is good.  He is very honest about everything,  and I have no reason to believe that i can't trust him....  but at the same time i can't help but checking out his email from friends or reading his sent messages out to see if he writes anything about me.  i don't want to go into a second marriage with this baggage,  and i don't have any reason for this....  But still,  i can't help the feeling.  I believe this my space crap should be taken off tho.  This is more and more reason why there are so many divorces.  I just pray to God I'm not going to be one of them.

 

Karen

 
February 27, 2008, 3:17 pm CST

Internet use and relationships

Sister, sister, sister!  Take it from me, someone who walked in the shoes you're now walking for 10 years before I arrived at the realization that the man I was married to was (still is?...) a sexual addict, and would resort to whatever lie he had to to get away with his antics. I was never at peace, and I chased him constantly (sometimes even physically) to try to find out the truth. Even then, but especially now, I realized it was self-degrading and unhealthy behaviour. After many years of this chaos, I asked myself if I wanted to do it any more. I made the decision to let my husband go and do what he obviously wanted to do (he was showing me all along he wanted lots of women at once, while living with me and all the fringe benefits that came with that. I realized I was playing the fool, and looking pretty bad I'm sure in a lot of people's eyes, and I got out. It was hard for me to do that, and to not slip back into bad habits. But now, a year and a half later, I can honestly say that even though I live alone with our daughter, it's way better this way than the way it used to be. I have peace now. And I have purpose now. I was lost, but now I'm found. And nobody was going to do that for me, except me. Please Tameka, love yourself enough to let Keith go. He only tells the truth when he's forced to. Do you want to spend, actually waste your time with a man like that? Life's too short Sister. And you've got a daughter (I think I heard that on the show) who's watching you, and learning from you. Teach her what self respect is. Show her what it is. I believe you will make it through. Bless you.
 
February 27, 2008, 3:32 pm CST

To Tamika

Tamika, you are a beautiful and intelligent woman - there are a LOT of decent men who would LOVE to be your special guy. I know this is painful, but on the show, he looked like an idiot and you looked like a SMART woman. Chin up, nurture yourself, read a good book, take a class in something that interests you, and PLEASE know that America saw you on the show and respected and admired you.

You deserve real love - from a faithful man. You'll find it!
 
February 27, 2008, 3:36 pm CST

Husband Cybercheating With Ex-Wife

I found out about 4 weeks ago that my husband of 4 1/2 years had been carrying on an internet/texting relationship with his ex-wife for almost a year.  Messages with sexual undertones, terms of endearment, and other inappropriate conversations were exchanged. They also discussed our marital problems and a serious contemplation of proceeding with a sexual affair.  The discovery itself was disturbing, and after speaking with him, we have taken a "break;" therefore, I've been visiting family across the country.  But what is more disturbing is:

1. He doesn't feel he did anything wrong. He feels he was on a rapid path to doing something wrong but that his actions were not a big deal and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

2. He has repeatedly expressed that he doesn't miss me or our 2 youngest children

3. He and his ex-wife have 2 older children who I have been responsible for raising and both parents had a total disregard for how this situation would affect them.

 

I'm not sure how to proceed.  I can forgive the betrayal, but I'm having trouble getting past the idea that he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong. Also, he's really "enjoying" his break from us and has said that "our plane could crash with me and our two children and this would all be over." He refuses marriage counseling...I just need some advice, even though I know in the end, I'll be responsible for the decisions I need to make. Thank you.

 

 

 
February 27, 2008, 3:38 pm CST

I am devistated

I married my wife in 2005, I am a retired Canadian Vetran, with a problem with PTSD. I thought I had found my sole mate in this lady. In the spring of 2006 she had an affair on the internet on a chatroom. She denied all of this until I read her quotes from the chat sessions that I had captured. Chat sex sessions, (yes I "bugged" her computer) So we where getting through that, I was prepared to forgive and move on with my wife who I loved dearly.

Spring 2007, my wife decides that she needed to find herself and moved into the city, got an apartment, and told me she was working on her issues with a councellor. All with the hopes of us becoming better for each other. I suported her decision, and shewas truly happy with our short term separation. She still wanted to be with me, she just needed to deal with some of her life issues that where interfering in our relationship

I was also attending self help lectures and seeing a councellor to try to become a better man for her and for me. I was often struggling with depression. I worked hard al smmer with my issues.

We got back together in Aug of 2007 and rekindled our relationship. Fresh promises, lots of hope. I set us up in couples councelling and we attended once a week for months. We started living together again, yet she kept her apartment and would go there through the week to get her privacy. Right up to early Feb this year.

I was again suspicious of her internet activities, she would never let me see her screen when I walked into the room and that sort of thing. And she jumped anytime I handed her cellphone to her. Little things started bothering me.

So I snooped on her computer and discovered emails from 3 different men, all during the same period of time from Aug through to that date.  As well as references as far back as early spring when we where still together, before she went to find herself. It was all about sex, talking about their phone sex, and internet video sex sessions. Her computer had naked pictures of thes guys with them masturbating. She had sent lurid pics of her self also.

This all happened while she was looking me in the eyes and telling me I was the only man for her.

I told her to leave. I have a lawyer and am persuing a divorce. I am absolutley crushed, I feel like such a fool. I have stumbled through the idea of suicide often over the past 2 weeks. I am staying alive for my dog, that is all I feel I have right now. I cannot eat without throwing up and have started force feeding myself with "boost" a liquid meal replacement. I have lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. from 180 to 165. I do not sleep and I have started drinking pretty heavily.

I'm not sure if  am going to make it through this. I am so destroyed at her deciet. I have seen my councellor twice since this all started and I just cry and rage when I try to talk with him.

These internet affairs are deadly to people.  Don't do it to your spouse.
 
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