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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 5, 2008, 3:23 pm CDT

Sice it is EDUCATION....

Quote From: getrealtime

Well you know how I feel on this one Kath, I agree that Health classes are 100% needed, but we give them the tools without the blue prints to and why they are doing what they are doing. All you hear is well they are going to have sex , throw them a condom. and no one asked them Why do you think you are ready to have sex. They need to have a class that asked them why they are ready, a class to make them think and not just act.

 

J.

I don't think it's a bad idea to ask questions as you put then.  Part of education is to give information, but also it is to provoke thought.  Health classes should open up a dialog.  When someone says "JUST DON'T DO IT", you've lost your audience. 
While giving all of the safe sex measures, and knowing that there will be teens who are already doing it, it doesn't negate the importance of sewing a few seeds of responsibility. 

In my opinion, a lot can be done in these sex ed programs, if we got really into the big picture.

Some will do it, others won't...but to open a non-judgemental discussion, I'm all in favor!

We do have to remain realisitc in knowing that some teens are going to have sex if we like it or not...maybe more if we DON'T like it...

A lot of the self respect should be coming from both the homes and the schools at an early age.

Still, there are going to be kids who only want the condoms...better they have them, then make their situations worse.

We can try, but we'll never be able to reach them all.  Still if the sex education is being taught, all of the facts need to be presented. 

I don't think an atomic bomb could reach that 13 year old who's post I had respomded to earlier on.  Why, I don't know, but she had the "to hell with parents" attitude, and with kids like that, you either cage them or do whatever to see them through safely as possible.  THAT was one strong willed teen, who is not alone, in spite of our hopes, many more feel the same.  All you can do is try to get them to act with some responsibility and take on accountability when being sexually active.

 
August 6, 2008, 10:45 am CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kathleen27

I don't think it's a bad idea to ask questions as you put then.  Part of education is to give information, but also it is to provoke thought.  Health classes should open up a dialog.  When someone says "JUST DON'T DO IT", you've lost your audience. 
While giving all of the safe sex measures, and knowing that there will be teens who are already doing it, it doesn't negate the importance of sewing a few seeds of responsibility. 

In my opinion, a lot can be done in these sex ed programs, if we got really into the big picture.

Some will do it, others won't...but to open a non-judgemental discussion, I'm all in favor!

We do have to remain realisitc in knowing that some teens are going to have sex if we like it or not...maybe more if we DON'T like it...

A lot of the self respect should be coming from both the homes and the schools at an early age.

Still, there are going to be kids who only want the condoms...better they have them, then make their situations worse.

We can try, but we'll never be able to reach them all.  Still if the sex education is being taught, all of the facts need to be presented. 

I don't think an atomic bomb could reach that 13 year old who's post I had respomded to earlier on.  Why, I don't know, but she had the "to hell with parents" attitude, and with kids like that, you either cage them or do whatever to see them through safely as possible.  THAT was one strong willed teen, who is not alone, in spite of our hopes, many more feel the same.  All you can do is try to get them to act with some responsibility and take on accountability when being sexually active.

I think we have tried everything else, we tokd them NO, we though are hands up and said your going to do it anyways so heres a condom, But we have never just empowered them. made them think without judgement. I think many have forgotten what it was like to be a teen, and how they think, and who they try to impress with their actions, and who they rebel against, while they are trying to impress their peers.

give them a young adult so they can't use the age gap thing or that was then and this is now.

empower the girls to be strong and knowing of their bodys and not just a vessel to the boys needs and their friends expectations of what they should be doing.

 

J.

 
August 6, 2008, 12:32 pm CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kathleen27

One problem with age keeps me on the fence.  Abortion...a" woman's "right to her reproductive system.

Morality and religion aside, does the father of this child have a say?  NO!  However, should this" woman" decide to keep a child, the father does have to pay child support.

Now, did this" woman" get pregnant by herself?  I doubt it...so if she chooses to have sole rights over her reproductive system, then isn't it fair that she assume all of the responsibility as well?

Now we come to my biggest issue of teen sex...abortion...a woman's right to have control over her reproductive system.  Key word, being WOMAN.  I know we must draw the line somewhere, so it is 18.  After that, if one decides to have sex with a 50 year old, nothing can be done.  That's the law...she is considered to be a woman. 

Take a 13 or 14 year old teen...or any age where this girl is considered to be a child...unable to sign a contract, drive (unless it is a State allowing 16 year olds to drive), drink, smoke or have sex with anyone over 18.  There is the line.  I accept it.  What about abortion?  A 13+ teen, unable to give consent, IS able to give consent to a procedure that she is in NO way mature enough to be making.  The law says it is legal to do, as well as to keep it from the parents. 

I'm ready to face the wrath of the board, but in my opinion, having an abortion is pretty heavy, equally so to having sex with a guy who is 18, and the girl is 14.  It's just contradictory.  The line must be drawn somewhere...except for...?

She is considered by law to be a child, except for....A WOMAN'S rights over her reproductive system. 

A minor cannot consent to any procedure...not a tatoo, a piercing...not be allowed on a school trip without a parent's consent.  Abortion, she suddenly becomes a "WOMAN"?

What happened to the line?  Can we really tell this to people and have the line be taken seriously?

Understanding why it is permissable just doesn't work for me.  As we all have said, the line has to be drawn, even if it means putting an 18 year old in the sex offenders registry for not knowing age. 

Since THAT is pretty radical, I feel it is time to draw the line at 18 with abortions as well.  Under 18, you need a parent or legal guardian to sign...not fair?  Ask the Mother of an 18 year old who is in a registry how fair she feels the law to be. 

Abortion, in my opinion, is an ADULT decision, requires CONSENT, and it should never be done without parental permission, to a CHILD.

There is just something about that I cannot accept...that law goes into waters that I see to be very deep and dangerous.  Sorry, but I had to say it...the line has to be drawn or erased.

This is a good point, and I support parental consent, that is so long as abortions are legal.  But what if the situation is reversed... the teenage girl wants to carry her baby to term, but the parents want her to have an abortion (studies have revealed that 2/3 of women who have sought an abortion were coerced by family members, boyfriends, husbands, etc) should minors have the right to refuse their parents wishes to terminate their preborn children?
 
August 6, 2008, 12:37 pm CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

“With 3 million teen girls infected with STIs, safer sex in adolescents does not exist,” said Linda Klepacki, sexual health analyst for Focus on the Family Action. “For the current and future health of teens, we must teach them how to have strong relationships not based on sex.”

 
August 6, 2008, 12:41 pm CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

“People in pursuit of (acceptance) often find themselves in a sympathetic alliance because it is the only place where they are welcome, and the answer to sexual questions is always sex which is exactly the wrong answer”  Paraphrasing David MacDonald  http://www.davidmacd.com/web_pages/testimony.htm

 
August 6, 2008, 2:36 pm CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Infected persons of HIV is on the rise, teen pregnancy is the highest then it has been in the last 20 years

seem to me this says alot about the health classes and the all the free condoms  being handed out is failing too.

 
August 7, 2008, 7:21 am CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kathleen27

I don't think it's a bad idea to ask questions as you put then.  Part of education is to give information, but also it is to provoke thought.  Health classes should open up a dialog.  When someone says "JUST DON'T DO IT", you've lost your audience. 
While giving all of the safe sex measures, and knowing that there will be teens who are already doing it, it doesn't negate the importance of sewing a few seeds of responsibility. 

In my opinion, a lot can be done in these sex ed programs, if we got really into the big picture.

Some will do it, others won't...but to open a non-judgemental discussion, I'm all in favor!

We do have to remain realisitc in knowing that some teens are going to have sex if we like it or not...maybe more if we DON'T like it...

A lot of the self respect should be coming from both the homes and the schools at an early age.

Still, there are going to be kids who only want the condoms...better they have them, then make their situations worse.

We can try, but we'll never be able to reach them all.  Still if the sex education is being taught, all of the facts need to be presented. 

I don't think an atomic bomb could reach that 13 year old who's post I had respomded to earlier on.  Why, I don't know, but she had the "to hell with parents" attitude, and with kids like that, you either cage them or do whatever to see them through safely as possible.  THAT was one strong willed teen, who is not alone, in spite of our hopes, many more feel the same.  All you can do is try to get them to act with some responsibility and take on accountability when being sexually active.

The audience is lost now, HIV is up .    and it up 80% in the black community, and the pregnacy rate today is highest it has ever been in twenty years.

 

I was watching I think the today show and the reason that was given was, both HIV and pregnancys are Glam. cool, buck. They are seeing more star living great life with both pregnancy and HIV. and it does not scare them.

 

Health progarams and abstinence programs have their own motives, agendas, and both only cover a scratch on the children of today. One has a religious base and the other is there just to provent future pregnancys and stds, either take the child or children is question as a hole.

 

how can we help the child now, not  just future problems, and not their souls. but them. what is pushing such bad choices, the real problem is familys and the tv. and the music. but we don't change that because that is to hard to do. so we give them bandaides, with no answers. we let them act like adults when they are children, uncapable to make adult chooses, with a childs mind.

 

Lets make are children strong in mind and in will, before we hand them a pack of pills and a box of condoms. Parents need to know where their children are and take a more active roll, get off their lazy butts and be parents to these kids.

 

 

 
August 7, 2008, 10:58 am CDT

Absolutely, yes

Quote From: kustomlady

This is a good point, and I support parental consent, that is so long as abortions are legal.  But what if the situation is reversed... the teenage girl wants to carry her baby to term, but the parents want her to have an abortion (studies have revealed that 2/3 of women who have sought an abortion were coerced by family members, boyfriends, husbands, etc) should minors have the right to refuse their parents wishes to terminate their preborn children?

Unless it is life threatening, the teen should have the right to refuse an abortion.(But this teen would not be going to Planned Parenthood for one in the first place). No doctor should have the right to perform a forced procedure that is unnecessary .  A teen can site religious opposition, just as long as her parents are aware that she is going through a bad time.   

I'm against any invasive or medical procedure that is done on a minor without parental consent.  No abortion, no procedure.

 

 
August 7, 2008, 9:31 pm CDT

YES YES YES

Quote From: getrealtime

The audience is lost now, HIV is up .    and it up 80% in the black community, and the pregnacy rate today is highest it has ever been in twenty years.

 

I was watching I think the today show and the reason that was given was, both HIV and pregnancys are Glam. cool, buck. They are seeing more star living great life with both pregnancy and HIV. and it does not scare them.

 

Health progarams and abstinence programs have their own motives, agendas, and both only cover a scratch on the children of today. One has a religious base and the other is there just to provent future pregnancys and stds, either take the child or children is question as a hole.

 

how can we help the child now, not  just future problems, and not their souls. but them. what is pushing such bad choices, the real problem is familys and the tv. and the music. but we don't change that because that is to hard to do. so we give them bandaides, with no answers. we let them act like adults when they are children, uncapable to make adult chooses, with a childs mind.

 

Lets make are children strong in mind and in will, before we hand them a pack of pills and a box of condoms. Parents need to know where their children are and take a more active roll, get off their lazy butts and be parents to these kids.

 

 

Spoken just like Bill Cosby, one of my idols!  The book LISTEN PEOPLE is telling it like it is...everything you have said is in there!  WE let children act like adults!  Damn right we do, and when they fall, we look to blame everyone else...except the guy in our mirrors!

There is SO much more that the schools can offer in Sex Ed or Health classes...and it is not religious...teach more about AIDS!  MY God, they show movies on the Holocost, Movies like Roots (that one kept me up for three nights) but no graphic visuals on AIDS?  Come on, this is slow, degenerative dying...really glamorous!  SHOW IT, in all of it's "glory".  This is separate from religion...just the facts, and damn it...if teens are going to do it, put the fear of the disease in their heads before putting the condom that prevents it into their hands! 

Unless parents do become more involved, it's being left  purely to chance.  Schools need to put more into those programs...maybe cut back the fundraising assemblies, leave that to the PTA...if any of the "P"s actually attend anymore.  I saw the decline over the years in parent participation.  It was the same 5...you got it 5 women who attended every month...we did the fundraisers, and tried to inspire greater attendance with interesting programs...BIG FLOP!  More often than not, we'd talk to ourselves and the few teachers there...about recipes, clothes, dogs, cats...after a while, you become very intimate...and as for curriculum, it's all been said.  5 people can't contribute much after a while. 

Living in New York, those stats do not surprise me.  My biggest hope is that if nothing else, condoms will prevent more pregnancies, maybe if they are USED, prevent disease...and yes, it is a band aid, until we figure out how we hold these kids to some level of responsible and accountable behavior...even though it is considered politically incorrect to even suggest such a thing! 

Too many kids have no real parental concern, and it is being left to schools...well, they are learning centers, so make them teach something really useful...I think that kids would be opened to a non judgemental dialog about sex if it were presented the right way.  A younger teacher would be the best choice.( hats of to J. for that one).

Why does it seem the more resources being offered, the more teen sex is talked about, we are still losing the battle?  Preaching abstinance is like spitting in the wind, condoms will not work if they aren't used...and the pill does nothing to prevent diseases.  A lot of these kids were lost before kindergarten, so much for the "modern" parents.  Very discouraging to hear those stats, but sadly, not surprizing.

 

 
August 8, 2008, 8:17 am CDT

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kathleen27

Spoken just like Bill Cosby, one of my idols!  The book LISTEN PEOPLE is telling it like it is...everything you have said is in there!  WE let children act like adults!  Damn right we do, and when they fall, we look to blame everyone else...except the guy in our mirrors!

There is SO much more that the schools can offer in Sex Ed or Health classes...and it is not religious...teach more about AIDS!  MY God, they show movies on the Holocost, Movies like Roots (that one kept me up for three nights) but no graphic visuals on AIDS?  Come on, this is slow, degenerative dying...really glamorous!  SHOW IT, in all of it's "glory".  This is separate from religion...just the facts, and damn it...if teens are going to do it, put the fear of the disease in their heads before putting the condom that prevents it into their hands! 

Unless parents do become more involved, it's being left  purely to chance.  Schools need to put more into those programs...maybe cut back the fundraising assemblies, leave that to the PTA...if any of the "P"s actually attend anymore.  I saw the decline over the years in parent participation.  It was the same 5...you got it 5 women who attended every month...we did the fundraisers, and tried to inspire greater attendance with interesting programs...BIG FLOP!  More often than not, we'd talk to ourselves and the few teachers there...about recipes, clothes, dogs, cats...after a while, you become very intimate...and as for curriculum, it's all been said.  5 people can't contribute much after a while. 

Living in New York, those stats do not surprise me.  My biggest hope is that if nothing else, condoms will prevent more pregnancies, maybe if they are USED, prevent disease...and yes, it is a band aid, until we figure out how we hold these kids to some level of responsible and accountable behavior...even though it is considered politically incorrect to even suggest such a thing! 

Too many kids have no real parental concern, and it is being left to schools...well, they are learning centers, so make them teach something really useful...I think that kids would be opened to a non judgemental dialog about sex if it were presented the right way.  A younger teacher would be the best choice.( hats of to J. for that one).

Why does it seem the more resources being offered, the more teen sex is talked about, we are still losing the battle?  Preaching abstinance is like spitting in the wind, condoms will not work if they aren't used...and the pill does nothing to prevent diseases.  A lot of these kids were lost before kindergarten, so much for the "modern" parents.  Very discouraging to hear those stats, but sadly, not surprizing.

 

Where are the monies going to come from???? My sis, moved down south and there are 3 countys there that have made the school days mon-thurs. because of the gas prices (shake your head with me) and here where I'm from one community didn't vote a tax levey though and they had their bus sevice taken away.

 

The only reason we need school to teach health classes is because of one reason and one reason only, The Lazy parent, My daughter does not need Health class I have covered it with her for years and helped her to understand her body and her empowerment over her body and mind. I didn't tell her no sex I told her she should know her body and her want and needs before she give it to someone else, she should be getting something out of the sex and if she not, she is just a vessel and not the commander.

when we talked about orgasm she didn't know it was harder for most women to achive it without know yourself and expressing yourself , that it was not like a man. made her think. well I got to go Its Friday shoppping to do. ugh.

 
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