Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

I think knowledge is power. I also believe that someone 12, 13, 14 or 15 needs more supervision than they are getting - but even if parents can't handle that - they need to be honest with their children. Talking to kids by age 10 that they need to respect themselves and others - is not out of line in my family. The Public School can offer information- I wouldn't welcome handing out condoms unless the community environment around that school is such that there is a high rate of sexual activity that people know about. I do believe sex education can happen in religious education too - I know it has in our church. Embarrassed my sons to death but hey - they got the message. What the church teaches and why. Then we discussed the fact that the only 'true' prevention of STD's is abstinence. There you get a couple of messages. Parents do need to take a stand and they need back up too. I welcome different points of view. I'm glad I watched the show. It reinforced for me that - this is a social issue we all must take a stand in our own homes. I'll bring up with my boys again tonight.

While i that is absolutely, the best thing i have heard in ages, I am 25 years of age and was raised in a less than blue collar enviroment with a single father, he worked two and three jobs to support his children, and didn't have that time to give 5 kids that extra needed love and validation, as i did feel loved, i didn't think i had to find love from an outside source, I had boyfriends and did good in my genre to abstain from sex untill i was 17 as i was dating a 16 year old at the age of 12 he waited willingly, do i regret it No, I do not have regrets only situations i learn from. I have a friend that is very younger, i talk to her about sex alot because her parents won't, I took her and talked to her parents befor doing so, they allowed me to, as i was freinds with her older sibling for years prior, she got put on birthcontrol, and a few months later was raped, had she not been on birth control she would of gotten pregnant! There are alot of things that we cannot control, and because she was aware as to what sex actually was she told me what this man had done to her while trying to tell her it was a game! And a secret game at that, she knew enough to know it was wrong. She would have then been part of your statisics of a lost teen, pregnant at 13! The point of this is, while it may work for you, doen't mean it will work for all and i think our kids should be made aware as to what sex is, and its pros and cons, of having sex once your married.

 For all you parents out there, I want to you understand what its like as a teenager dealing with sex. I was 15 years old when I first had sex. I thought I was in love and dated this boy for over a year, everything was perfect. After I had sex, I learned so much about myself FROM MYSELF. No school, no doctor, no teachers, no parent could have taught me what I learned from myself. I learned what I wanted out of my future, I learned what my goals were, I learned that I don't want to continue what I am doing and I want to make sure I am respected by men before sex and the signs that go into being in love.

Kids and teenagers HAVE TO make mistakes on their own, make their own choices, and think for themselves. Let teenagers do something on their own, they learn SO much more. I have seen many of my friends rebel from their parents once they leave highschool because their parents control them so much.

Give your kids opinions and let them make mistakes and deal with their consequences. Teach them about sex so at least they know how to protect themselves, but handing out condoms is saying "go ahead have sex".

     I have heard many senarios over the years and have raised three sons of my own.  I have never condoned teen sex.  One thing I did not hear mentioned on the show is the legal aspect of teens having sex and the legality of passing out birth control to minors. 
There are serious side effects of birth control drugs used long term, especially if the woman is a smoker, drinker, etc.  It should never be ok to give anything to a minor without parental consent.
Also, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CONSENTUAL SEX WITH A MINOR.  The mom who is allowing her daughter at thirteen to have sex is aiding and abetting the behavior.  Police officials do not need parental consent to charge parents with contributing, and the sexual partner with statutory rape. It was one of my biggest fears when my sons were teenagers.  I tried very hard to educate them on the consequences before they got in over their head. 
They should definitely have sex ed in schools and parents should not only be knowledgable of the curriculum but perhaps participate in their own education on todays teens and sexual behavior.
I agree with Bishop TD Jakes completely.  We can and should do both; our children deserve nothing less than our best efforts to nurture them body, mind and spirit.

The state of KY places all new teenage mothers on Home/Hospital Instruction.  A teacher tutors the student twice a week for six weeks.  Only a matter of time before a teenage father demands the same consideration.

As a high school student in Canada, I have had sex education as a part of my Phys. Ed & Health Curriculum. We were taught specifically the facts. We weren't told what to do, simply the consequences of our actions if we did. Let us, as people, make our own decisions. As adults, it is your responsibilty to explain everything to us so that we can make wise choices. In our school, birth control is made available to us, but is not forced upon us. It gives us a sense of control over our own lives. If you restrict a teen, they are more likely to retaliate. Let us make our own decisions based on good quality education.

Personally, I plan to abstain from sex until marriage. That is MY OWN CHOICE. NOT something that was forced into my head.

Here is my opinion on this debate:

 

     I think schools totally should NoT hand out birth control during a health class etc. I do not believe schools should provide a sex education course showing how to put a condom on a banana etc. Or which birth control works best.  I do believe a sex education in school should be about diseases. Show plenty of pictures. This is what gohnorrea looks like and the chances of you contracting it through sex are very high! Etc. In class it should be all about the stds. Kids know by that age sex causes pregnancies and they more then likely know there is birth controls out there. However, not many kids think about the disease factor. Even if they know about some.

 

      I also believe SCHOOLS and PARENTS should be together on this one. I think that there should be 2 afterschool "sex nights" a school year.  Parents and kids could come together for like a pep rally about sex. There should be drs and of the such there.  Birth control etc can be talked about more in depth./ refered to a care center for birth control if need be, where the children can get it for free.  I also think absinince should be preached HARD CORE and the effects of what premarital sex can do to your future marriage. In my opinion it plays highly in divorce rates.

 

      Teenagers will fall to sex. There is nothing that can totally stop it. I was 14 when I gave "it" up. I didn't have parents that cared. When I told my mom all she said was ya, that happened to me to around your age" and that was it. From just that one incident it drove me to be someone who didn't value myself. I just didn't care anymore. The world views women as objects and that's exactly how I viewed myself. Just somebody to be toyed with. I did worry about becoming pregnant, but never gave a second thought to stds. I do believe children are more scared of becoming pregnant because that is a pretty hard thing to hide. Especially when you know your parents will be upset and dissappointed with you.

 

      Should teenagers be allowed maternity leave. I believe yes. The lady who said they are parents now. Their children will not succeed if they do not succeed is 100% correct. However, I also believe that the lady who said kids will use this to drop out of school because of being behind or thinking look i'm on so much government assistance this is great. Once you've been away it is very easy to not stick with it.  And again, However...........We live in a day of technology.. yes it can be costly....but USE IT! Kids could log into free internet courses while they are away. Or show up for class via webcam. Or someother way like that. If they don't do the work by the time they get back. Then they should get the 0 on there paper like any other kid that didn't do there homework would get. It is tons easier taking care of an infant then a toddler. Yes, it's new. but easier.

 

       At 19 I had a child. He is the joy of my life. And I plan on telling him the things my parents didn't tell me. Such as. Kids do have sex at a young age. Which isn't appropriate. Their are plenty of people out there that are willing to take advantage of you. Don't give them that chance. Because what's important to you now will very likely not be in the future. Std's are real and they can happen to you. This is what some of them look like. Show pictures. The only way to not get pregnant or an std is to not have sex. Even if you think it can't happen to you... eventually it will catch up with you. And the consequences could be deadly. Do you have any questions so far? Answer their questions.  I also want you to know that I am your parent and whatever you do in secret eventually will come to light and be known. I will find out. So don't feel the need to hide things from me. I am here to help, not make your problems worse. If you absolutley cannot wait and are going to do it no matter what I say then please come talk to me. Their are measures we can take to keep you safe. etc etc etc. I would also explain how premarrital sex affects a marriage, later in life. How and why you should treat a girl with deciency and respect her virginity. How girls are not toys and it's better to have morals then none. How people can sometimes have sex as a joke, to use someone in the wrong way, that some people have sex because they are not mature enough to wait, and get themselves in even bigger trouble. How becoming pregnant can tie you to someone you might not want to be tied to for life. And the ever more complications of half siblings and broken families.

 

 

..........................I could go on forever more on this topic. but i'll spare you guys. Consider this My 10 Cents

It just frustrates me and angers me that parents don't sit down and just be open and honest to kids about sex. I am raising two teenagers, a son who is 17 and a daughter who is 13, and I have tried to teach them the blunt consequences of having sex. I do not go into details about how sex is performed, because they have learned that in sex ed in school, not to mention what they see and hear on tv, but I have told them the blunt truth about the emotional and physical aspects of it. I have told my son to protect himself, he knows what will happen if he doesn't, but most importantly I have taught him the other important things such as when a girl says no, she means no, even if the word no was spoken with a little giggle, that is his cue to put the brakes on and not pressure her any further because she may give in to him for fear of him not liking her anymore. I have taught him the emotions that the young woman will go through if he proceeds, including the overwhelming emotions of guilt, worry and shame. I have not only discussed this with him, I have drilled it into his head so when he does have sex, he is at least prepared in more than just the area of protection.  As far as my daughter is concerned, I have taught her that sex is an emotional thing to be handled only when ready. I have taught her to not take any bull from a boy by listening to him say "if you loved me you will do this" or any other lines he may throw at you. I have taught her that boys do catagorize girls as either dating material, or girl friend material. A girl with a reputation of "putting out" is asked out often because the boy wants to see just how far he can go with her, and girlfriend material is a girl who the boy wants around for the right reasons.  I know my children appreciate me being honest and blunt with them because on many occasions I have answered personal questions that my children have because they are not ashamed to ask me. I can honest say that this has worked with my son really well, and he is by no means a "mommas boy". He has listened to me and my advice and has not only set high goals and standards for himself, but he has set his goals and ambitions into motion by joining the National Guard a full year before he will even graduate from high school. He will graduate in May, go off to basic training July 8, and then continue on to become an MP, skills he wants to use later as a law enforcement officer in our local area. My daughter has asked me questions so personal I would have never dreamed of asking when I was young, and I answer her as honestly as I can, and if I don't know the answer, I look for the answer so she won't be stuck wondering. THIS IS WHAT PARENTS SHOULD BE DOING! It is NOT the responsibility of the schools, church, tv, or our childrens friends.  

And in in case you are wondering why I have chosen this way to teach my children, I became pregnant at the age of 13, was so ignorant to the fact that I was pregnant that my step-mother had to ask me when my last period was, and so the decision was made for me to terminate the pregnancy. I was too young, thought I was madly in love and was not given the advice and facts as I should have been given back then. I never want my children to look back on their lives and wish that I would have been there for them especially when it comes down to making a decision and receiving the information before they have sex.

A century ago it was commonplace for girls of 15-16 to be married, my own great grandmother was married in her early teens. Teenaged sex was common, they were married. We are now waiting later in life to marry but still keep the Puritian mindset of no sex before marriage. Speaking of the Puritains, I have seen several documentaries about the high rate of premarital conceptions as evidenced by the birhdate of the child in relation to the date of marriage. Premarital sex has been around since the dawn of man, it will continue to the extinction of man.

 

Abstenice is not 100%, just ask Mary.