Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

That was not an "affair" that was Child Molestation and Statuatory Rape!

I myslef is a high school student from one of the most liberal places in america, california. this is my senior year in high school and i have seen many young ladies in my years who have been pregnant from my freshman year until now. I ask myslef who is to blame for this raging epidemic? Some young women knew about the dangers of having sex from the HIV's that i refer to as ghonaherpasiphilaids to summarize them and they also knew about the risk of teenage pregnancy and yet they CHOSE to have unprotcted sex granted that all of the information was available and has been taught to them. there has also been young women who say it was an "accident". Do you blame them? Can you blame them? i firmly believe no you can not. i feel as though the people who are to blame for this raging epidemic are the same people who preach to us abstinence. We see the failed marriages and the lies and the cheating etc. How does one think this effects an adolescent mind? by seeing this we ask ourselves why should we wait to have sex when the same statistics show we are more than likely to divorce. why save youself to end up broken hearted. we have seen time and again "LOVE HURTS SEX FEELS GOOD". In todays age we see alot more violence sex drugs etc by just turning on the television. we are exposed to alot more than the generations above and going back to Darwin we must adapt to these times. To say kids should only be taught abstinence is ridiculous because we do not see a positive outcome of such. Abstinence is a value along with virginity that is taught in the home and it should end and begin there. Myself is still a virgin not because of religious values because i dont do relgion but because i know what may happen if i choose to do so and i know i am not mentally physically emotionally or financially ready to uphold my responsibilty to sex. AND THATS A DECISION I MADE FOR MYSELF WITH THE HELP OF BOTH ABSTINENCE AND SEX EDUCATION. 

I believe you're "missing the boat" on how important peer pressure is on our young ones.  They learn from each other.  If acceptable friend A has sex and talks about it then everyone else in the clan should also do the same, or else they're not on the same level of acceptance...As hard as they try to be their individual selves, pressure from their friends takes hold and leaves them in a quagmire between what they have learned from their parents and the expectations of their friends.

I believe most teenage pregnancies are not a result of love thru copulation but, a drive to be accepted by their peers.

I believe most young teens don't have the strength to overcome the peer pressure and don't want to be a nonconformist to the acceptably established norm they have developed amongst themselves.

The only resolve I see is that parents instill in their children that casual sex is not good for them.  Until the majority takes this posture, I believe our children will face further pressure from those children that believe that casual sexual contact is acceptable.

Now this is just my opinion on this widely discussed subject, but it isn’t just about informing your child about the risks of sex, or providing them with contraceptives, it is about some of the main reasons our children find the need to have sex and it is about reality.  If you think about it you have to ask yourself why a child has sex.

One:  Do they have good Self-esteem?

Two:  They are looking for and needing to feel loved.

Three:  They are trying to find acceptance and a sense of belonging.  

Four:  They need to feel close to someone.

If a child has self-esteem, feels good about his or her self that is more than half the battle because that child has what is needed to build that self-esteem they have (love, closeness, acceptance and that sense of belonging) for them selves and from their family.  I believe that when a child has these essentials that child has a higher chance of being able to process the information given about having sex at the right time in their lives.  Without these essentials nothing is going to work.  So to me it isn’t essentially about disseminated information or birth control.  It is about the building blocks of raising a human being. 

This is just my two cents worth but you can talk about this subject till the cows come home but if a child does not have the emotional tools for growing up nothing is going to make a difference when it comes to children and sex.