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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 2, 2008, 5:20 am CST

Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

     A Box of condoms is not going to stop teenagers from having sex nor getting pregnant...............
 
March 2, 2008, 5:35 am CST

sex ed

Quote From: derevna33

 

       When I was in school, we did not have sex education.  We had something better.  One day an obstetrician, a doctor who specializes in childbirth, gave us a lecture and answered the questions we had the nerve to ask him in a co-ed setting.

       He told us that there are times in our lives when we need a professional.  For this reason, I do not believe that schools have any business practicing medicine.  A 13-year-old girl has a big problem when she is pregnant.  I remember the doctor explaining that young girls have a difficult time carrying a pregnancy to term.  "The worst thing that can happen is not having a baby, it is suddenly not having a baby."  One of the boys asked him for further clarification.  And, we all learned that the miscarriage rate is much higher for girls under 16. 

     I personally knew a 13-year-old who discovered she was pregnant.  Her "boyfriend" told her to wait before she told her parents.  And, two months later, she had a miscarriage.  She was relieved, and happy.  She thought she had been unbelievably lucky.

    Two weeks later, she developed a raging fever--over 105 degrees.  The emergency room doctor asked her if she wanted to live.  "Then, tell me the truth:  Have you been pregnant?"  It was all she could do to force herself to nod yes.  And then he went into the waiting room, explaining to her mortified parents that either they would agree to an emergency hysterectomy, or he would be forced to obtain a court order.  (Their daughter would be dead by morning without the operation)

   No parents should have to face something like this.  It is almost cruel.

   Her "boyfriend?"  He was her 37-year-old married uncle, and their "affair" had been going on since she was five.

    

i elieve that sex ed in schools is the correct thing t do but it should alo be hadled in such a way as to accentuate resposibility and consequenses as wel as the pure science
 
March 2, 2008, 5:41 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: er5729

Don't tell me that "kids are going to have sex".....not if they've been educated by their families or their churchs, they won't..... Unfortunately, most kids aren't going to church because they are not "made to" by their parents.  So where does the education come from?  I don't think that schools should be blamed for children's ignorance, but that seems to be the only place where kids are most of the time.  Moms... if you don't reallyl need that new fence or built in swimming pool, stay home and talk to your kids.  Parents are the primary educators of life with their children.  Think about it. 
There are kids who are going to have sex whether they have been in church all of thier lives or whether they have never been to church or whether their parents have talked to them about sex or whether they have learned what they know in school or from friends. We are kidding ourselves if we think that taking kids to church and only teaching them abstinence is the only way to go. I used to go to an Independent Baptist church and my then preacher certainly taught abstinence. Both of his teenage daughters became pregnant before they married. My county is a very conservative county. The sex-ed curriculum is very conservative. I don't know what the MAIN problem is, but we have a very high rate of teenage pregnancy. I have 2 grown kids. We certainly gave them the choice of abstinence. But we also told them about birth control, STDs, responsiblity to themselves and to others. I think it's irresponsible to think that as parents we shouldn't teach our kids about birth control. To think anything else, is to be in denial. I certainly know the difference between right and wrong. But, I also know that many teenagers are going to make the choice to be sexually active, for whatever reasons, no matter what they have been taught.
 
March 2, 2008, 5:58 am CST

Practicing Medicine

     When it comes to whether or not schools should dispense birth control, it depends on the method.  If we are talking about condoms, they would go to boys and girls alike.  Schools in the past have dispensed blue dye tablets during dental hygiene education.  That’s all part of the educational process.

 

     I don't believe that schools should engage in practicing medicine by dispensing a drug to young women as a physician would to his patients (has a direct connection to their health).  Also how would the school be obtaining the drug and legally prescribing it?  Wouldn't the school open themselves to being liable for an adverse reaction?

 

 
March 2, 2008, 6:14 am CST

choices

It would seem to me that you seek  an answer and a solution but I believe you should be asking for solutions to your answers.  Should Schools hand out birth control and sexual information?  answer, Of course not,  only if it is the schools intention to hold back the tools and information so that an individual can most likely be unaware and unprotected and make poor judgements on a choice that will always feel like a good choice to that individual at that time on that issue, that is the schools choice and they seemingly think to know best.  Should we push young adults, students or children to become something they don't believe in?  answer, Of course, if it intended to confuse that individual to make choices based on your information, your clarification, your awareness and indeed your own inspirations, this is a great way to force someone to make decisions that that individual is most likely to be bitter for having it chose for them, likely to be very disappointed in themself for not pushing themself into truly who they believe they are, or at least guess at until they do become aware and it will also have the potential to have an individual realize somewhere along the line, hopefully the coaches inspiration gave this individual a great reflection and indeed allowed the individual to make a good choice for himself, this would be an answer.

My opinion to a solution:  Bad choices unfortunately are some of the best choices humans make, seems to me that most is learned, most is clarified, most awareness is gained and indeed the inspiration one can get seems to be most inspiring from choices that have pushed an individual in wrong directions.  Parents are who should hand out both birth control and sexual information and it is indeed the parents choice which learning facility their children will attend, at least until you allow your child to choose for themselves, college or university would be a great choice for anyones child to get the opportunity to make and choose.  An individual should only have to believe in himself and make choices based on his point of view, that  is freedom.
 
March 2, 2008, 8:32 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

As a parent of three teenage girls I have been horrified and furious with the idea that someone could provide my daughter with birth control, even to go as far as the health clinic giving her a depo. shot  when she was 15 without my consent or knowledge. There have been teachers who have taken girls to get an abortion without the parents knowledge. On the other hand, you have to give the school office written authorization to administer an aspirin. This is just sick!!!!!  Kids need to know about birth control and about the dangers of premarital sex. Parents have to be allowed the option to deny the school the right to teach it to their child if they are willing to take on that responsibility themselves. Never, ever should anyone supply the child with anything like a depo. shot or an abortion without the parents consent.

My 14 year old daughter says she wouldn't want to get on birth control because then that would be like giving her an excuse and permission to have sex, and she wants to wait until she's married.

I was amazed when she told me that.

 She witnessed her older sister getting into sexual activity and the damage it did to her emotionally and the damage the depo. shot did to her system and she really doesn't want to go there.

 
March 2, 2008, 8:33 am CST

I appologize for this

 I would like to take this opportunity to appologize for pushing my point of view on to anyone but this is most challenged by my need to at least make you aware of my point of view.  Nature is what it is, natural.  Human nature is what it is, natural.  The Universe contains all things understood and not understood, my given.  Math skills tell me that Universe=All life + everything misunderstood to have no life in it.  My good guidance tells me that God=all, I can accept that, but what I also need to accept is that All Life plus everything misunderstood to have no life in it  is now equal to God and indeed  my God.  Simple math tells me 1=1 and the most complex math tells me God = Universe= Life but this also tells me what I already accept and that is I can be equal to but no greater than Life itself and that also indicates that I can both create and uncreate if that's a good word but I do believe that I have the power to create what I choose, even sounds God like to me at the least.  My point is that you and I have the opportunity to make positive life changes both inside ourselves and between you and your world as you know it and still be proud of  yourself and ourselves at the end of the day, should you choose not to be proud I believe your sleep should suffer, this is not intended as a provoking threat.  You can take steps to change things for the better and everyones' biggest challenge is always their choices to best appreciate God and or Life and or You yourself.  The answers are all in you but the solutions will only have to be accepted when you feel enough pride in yourself to say to yourself, I did my best. 

I am sorry again for not being able to tell you what to do but I do have to trust you will do the right thing. How else could I find out?  I just need to trust that there is more good people in this great world  then bad or I will loose sleep at night aslo.  Fare well and best wishes.

rob
 
March 2, 2008, 12:40 pm CST

Birth control

I find it sad that more teens are having sex at a young age.  I was out of high school before I had sex for the 1st time,  and wish I would of waited til I was in a serious relationship.  Once sex enters the picture,  it seems that all dates end up  center more around sex then just having fun and really getting to know the other person's likes and dislikes. 

 

I feel stongly that schools should not be able to hand out birth control without parent consent.  What happens if that child has a reaction to the birth control medicine or some medical problem that if the parents have no knowledge of what their child is taking,  how can they protect that child? 

I would love it if parents could handle the issue, but we know most teenagers are not going to go to their parents,  but will the school handling birth control even the ones that might talk to a close relative in their family will opt to go to the school instead and this will break down family's more then they are now.

 

 
March 2, 2008, 12:54 pm CST

Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Yes, sad, that people just don't get it.  Educating our children starts in the home.  Families need to spend more attention to their children at home by eating meals as a family; weekly events at home or educational/entertaining weekend activities (and have them bring along a friend or two), etc.  Understood, in todays society, many if not most families have two and need two working parents; leaving education to the schools and the streets.  That shouldn't be an excuse to ignore the needs of your children. As a Child Abuse Investigator for the Philadelphia Police Department Special Victims Unit, my hours are long, leaving my wife to take care of the house and children when she comes home from her sometimes difficult day at the office.  We make the time and schedule it together, making certain that one, if not both, not only attend, but transport our children to their activities, taking an interest and supporting them in their endeavors.  The lesson must be, once a parent,  it is NO LONGER ABOUT YOU (SELF), BUT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN (SELF-SACRIFICE SO TO SAY); but not so much a sacrifice that you don't make that important time for the both of you, whether it is with your  spouse or a significant loved one/other (another topic for a future show).  I can go on and on and on, but I believe I said what I wanted in this not so short paragraph.  Now Remember, going back to me being a Child Abuse Investigator, as well as a former elementary school teacher, doesn't make me an authority on this, but it certainly has given me some insight.  Thank you Dr. Phil.
 
March 2, 2008, 1:12 pm CST

Teens and Sex

 When my daughter was 13 yrs old I was the Mom  where everyone graftitating to.  I listened and was always  available for them and my daghter.  We lived in a townhouse and in the upstairs bathroom, I kept a basket of condoms.  I kept it full at all times.  I was an Aids Couselor at the time.  It was more scarey for me to see one of "my" kids come home HIV than pregant.  None of them ever did and all of them waited until they were in a stable relationship to have children.  To think kids won't have sex is is homicidal for parents.  One of my neices was sexually active at 14.  When the child turned 18, my sister thought to get her on birth control.  I suggested that she was doing fine with what she was using and to not become involved at this late date.  She never believed me her "baby" was sexually active until the girl told her herself.
 
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