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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 2, 2008, 10:57 pm CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kalia47

A standing ovation!!!!!!  Right on!!!!

I wouldn't necessarily bame Dr. Phil for any thing though.  The show hasn't even aired yet.

Thanks,

 

I was referring to a promotional advertisement on tv where Dr Phil said he would buy a teen a box of condoms.

 
March 2, 2008, 11:31 pm CST

Title Change and Comment from Christian Perspective

Whoever wrote the title for this show might want to consider changing it so it doesn't sound like Bishop Jakes is a pedophile.

 

God didn't give us the Bible to beat us over the head with it. It is His love letter to mankind and our instruction manual for life. As our Creator and Father, He knows what is best for us. He created sex, to be a holy and uniting experience between a man and a woman inside the committed and sacred relationship of marriage. Natural consequences occur when we break God's laws (sin). Consider that if EVERYONE were obedient to God IN JUST THIS ONE AREA, there would be no STD's, no pregnancy outside of marriage, no rape, no rape victims, no guilt and shame related to sex, no broken-hearted "used" young ladies who gave sex to get love, no porno, no prostitutes, no pimps, no sex slaves, no sex slave industry, no pedophiles or molestors or their victims, no need for crisis pregnancy centers, no abortion clinics, and no marriages torn apart by affairs and adultery.  Now imagine what life would be like on planet Earth if we followed His plan for us in every area of our lives. But we can't make up our own rulebook, disobey God's, and expect to get the same results.

 
March 3, 2008, 12:14 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

When evil is exalted evil becomes rampant. When evil is demonized evil becomes rare.

 

If this is true, then why are there STI's and pregnancies on many Christian campuses?  I mean, isn't making something taboo just enhancing it's appeal?

Yes, there are such things on Christian campuses, but, comparably, it is less likely, and, not all students that go there are true Christians. Most people ignorantly presume that everyone who attends Church meetings or are card-carrying members of a denomination are Christian. Jesus said there are within the true Church wolves in sheeps clothing. And that towards the end times there will be numerous imposters claiming to be followers of Christ. He warned us not to be deceived by them.  I know that on some Christian college campuses near where I live there are people attending for degrees other than Christian ministries. These colleges offer business degrees, nursing degrees, etc., and they do not require you to be a Christian nor do they force you to adhere to the teachings of the Bible to attend there. So your argument that such things happen on Christian Campuses fails to refute anything I wrote.

 

Todays teens, Christian and nonChristian, are both innundated with godless messages, through every type of medium, that premarital sex is natural and preferable to abstinence. It's sad when any child is influenced by it. But no matter what you do all children are hearing and being influenced by the doctrines and dogmas of immorality and debauchery pushers.

 

Murder is taboo. Rape is taboo. Child molesting is taboo. Spousal and child abuse is taboo. Cannibalism is taboo. Does this enhance their appeal? Should we abolish speed limits in school zones because making speeding in school zones taboo only enhances its appeal? Even if you could prove this is true it still does not justify commiting any of these acts, does it? Which do you thnk is better for society? To make these things taboo or to support them with words and money?  

 

"Making something taboo enhances its appeal" is a mental copout and does not address the issue that all human beings are able to make the moral choice to opt out of premarital sex. We're not animals following our basic instincts. We are humans who make choices everyday about sex. You must admit that almost every movie, most everything on tv, most songs, most news papers, most radio programs, most school teachers and most political leaders promote the idea that abstinence is unacceptable, ignorant, and repressive, and, sex before marriage, adultery, and promiscuity are acceptable, intelligent, and liberating. These are the messages that our children are being indoctrinated with by people who have embraced Hollywood morality. The free-love hippies have taken over our institutions and are brainwashing our children with their immorality. Immorality is always destructive to a society. Rampant disease and unstable families are the result of it...not to mention that America has added the shedding of innocent blood (abortion) to avoid the consequences and responsibilites of conceiving a child.  The financial cost of dealing with these problems alone will eventually bankrupt us.

 

Decadence never strengthens and preserves a civilization, it rots it from the inside out. History prove this. Read the Bible and see what happened to people that embraced immorality and debauchery. Or, if the Bible is not your cup of tea, read books like the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, and other historical records on the demise of great civilizations. Immorality and debauchery became preferrable to morality and purity of life...and before long...great civilizations were great civilizations no more.

 

In the 19th century a foreigner (I can't remember his name at the moment) came to America. He came to see what made America great. After observing us he said, "America is great because America is good. When America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." That sums it up for any nation, not just America. Every nation that ceases to be good will cease to be great. History bears this out. America needs to heed this warning.

 
March 3, 2008, 12:45 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: blondebabi4216

 Seriously wake up and get real!! Go to any high shool in any state and you will find that at least 40 percent of the teenagers have sex! Godly or not! People need  to wake up and realize that no matter how many times you say be abstinent some teens are gonna have sex!! Now, you say condoms arent 100 percent affective and thats true but which is safer,  having unprotected sex or using a condom?! And seriously "godless outsiders"?? get real! they  are just trying to protect kids from getting pregnant and if the "godless outsiders" didnt give teens condoms i  promise you there would be a lot more pregnant teens. You can sit the on your high horse and think youre doing something good for your kids by saying all this but  YOURE NOT! the people giving out condoms are doing more good than you ever will! Oh and just cause a teen has sex doesnt make them godless....god forgives peoples sins f.y.i.!         I grew up in church and all my life i heard about abstinence but no one ever said anything about protection so when i was 12 i ended up losing my virginity ( which was the biggest mistake of  my life)  and i was unprotected.....thank god  i didnt get pregnant but there are alot of teens who do! The important thing is not to sit there and tell your kids not to have sex but for your kids to know how to be protected... and that they can talk to you and not feel ashamed of they are having sex. If not youre not helping them at all!

Which is safer? Playing Russian roulette with a gun loaded with one bullet or two? Would you recommend either to your child?

 

Now please answer me honestly, if you can...when you chose to have sex at age twelve had you never, ever heard about condoms? Would you have used a condom if you had? If the condom failed and you got pregnant would still be under the illusion that condoms make sex safe. It only takes one condom failure to get pregnant or to get AIDS or other STD's. It could just as easily happen the first time you have sex as any other time because condoms do fail. You cannot predict when that time will be. Neither can your child or any other condom pushers...including Dr. Phil. You’re making false statements about condoms making sex safe to your children who, most likely, will believe you. When the condom fails and they get, or, get someone else pregnant, what is going to be your reaction? Oops, I was wrong. What about if they contract a disease? Oops, I was wrong. That'll really make them feel better.

 

How many murders does one have to commit to be called a murderer? How many godless acts does one need to commit to be called godless? Answer: One!

 

No matter how many times you say it to convince yourself its true, condoms fail and they do not protect 100% of the time. You night get away with playing sexual Russian roulette with condoms for a while, but they will fail you in the end. Buying condoms for a child is contributing to the delinquency of a minor... a criminal act. Moreover, leading a child believe condoms protect them, when in fact they do not, is child abuse. Condoms are not the equivalent of abstinence. Abstinence is guaranteed to be 100% foolproof.

 

How many times can your child have sex with a condom before if fails? Once? Twice? Ten times? Fifty times? You are doing your children a disservice by leading them to believe they are safe sexually if they use a condom.

 
March 3, 2008, 1:17 am CST

A 23 year old Virgin

How does one become a 23 year old virgin? By being deathly afraid of getting pregnant! I'm now 60 years old and never regretted it.

 

When I was going to school, Jr. High School started in the 7th grade and High School started in the 9th grade. Shortly after school started from summer vacation, all of the young ladies in the 7th grade were herded into the school auditorium. There a female teacher proceeded to tell us all about how babies are conceived, develope in the womb, and, 9 months later, are born. She had charts, graphs, a film, pictures on the over-head viewer. There were pictures taken from medical books, and other teaching aides. She didn't studder, stammer, show embarrassment, nor was reluctant to answer any questions. It was about 1-1/2 hrs. of constant bombardment of the "Facts of Life." Then she handed out literature in the form of pamphlets with graphic pictures and a short summery of the lecture.

 

During the lecture, she didn't promote comdoms (although she did tell us all about them), nor did she promote abstenance (although she did tell us that was the only way to ensure a woman didn't get pregnant). She did warn us about the back seat of cars (and sometimes the front seat), the walk in the woods and bedrooms (both his and hers). What "petting" was and what it would lead to (even "light petting").

 

So what did a young lady do when the hormones were raging? Well that depended on where you were. Exercise was one way to calm down the beast, jogging was another or occupy your mind on other things. or masterbation. Yes, she told us all about that, too.

 

When I walked out of the auditorium, I felt she had put the fear of the Lord into me. Right then and there, I vowed to myself that I wouldn't have intercourse until I was married. Then, I had to learn how defend myself against date rape.

 

I made it all the way through my teens and on into my 20's. When I was 22, I met a man quite a bit older than me, with whom I fell madly in love. We dated for about a year, and he respected my wishes. I wasn't exactly a prude, but when I said "stop", well he did just that. Then one day, I decided I was ready to take the plunge. I let him know my wishes and we made the proper preparations. He took me out to a nice dinner and treated me like a Queen. This is an event in my life that was so beautiful and memorable, I'll never forget him nor that night. Did we ever get married? Unfortunately, no. He became afflected with a genetic blindness that affected only the males. He broke off our relationship before he went completely blind and forbade me to ever contact him again. He told me I needed to get on with my life and to meet a nice young man that would treat me like the lady I was.

 

It's all true...But tell me, how many parents are willing to give their young ladies such a complete education as this teacher did. Not very many. It's better to find out behind the barn, I guess. I believe teen pregnancy is just as much the fault of the male as it is the female. But let's face it, it's pretty hard to get pregnant when the legs are crossed.

 

Someone has to step up to the plate and take some responsibility for teaching our young people. Most parents are too embarrassed (who taught them?) to have this heart to heart talk. Some fathers tell their sons to go out and experiment, learn what it's all about, like a good boy. But do the fathers tell their sons what it means to be a father to a child? And if the son does get a girl pregnant then who is at fault? (hummmm, I wonder).

 
March 3, 2008, 2:21 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: blondebabi4216

OKAY PARENTS...NO OFFENSE BUT SERIOUSLT GET REAL!!! DO YOU THINK THAT YOUR KIDS DONT HEAR ABOUT SEX ANYWAYS?!! ITS AT SCHOOL, IN THE MEDIA...ITS EVERYWHERE!!! I THINK ITS BETTER TO GET SEX EDUCATION FROM A PASTOR THAN ANYWHERE ELSE. TEENS ARE NOT GONNA LISTEN TO THERE PARENTS..SRY BUT THERE NOT! THEY ARE EITHER GONNA GET SEX EDUCATION  FROM A PASTOR/ SCHOOL OR FROM THERE FRIENDS.. WHICH DO YOU THINK IS THE BETTER CHOICE?! I CAN ALMOST GUARANTEE THAT YOUR TEENS KNOW PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT SEX ANYWAYS.  i lost my virginty when i was 12..its not something im proud of...actually it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life! Honestly youre kids are probably gonna have sex...most teens do but whats really important is that they have enough education to make the right decision to be protected. also they need to know that they can come talk to you about sex...if they are having it or not. they shouldnt be scared that you will make them feel embarressed or ashamed!! that was a big issue for me! i never have told my mom about how i had sex...i was always to scared! Dont be the parent that your teen is afaid to some to! let them know that you will support them and love them no matter what!

What I am saying is real. You are the one living in fantasyland. Condoms aren't safe. They leak, break and slip off. Neither you nor anyone else can predict when one of these things will happen, but happen they will. That's real.

 

Birth contol fails, does not prevent STD's, and is unhealthy. You cannot put chemicals in your body without consequences. That's real.

 

I know teens who do listen to their parents. So you're wrong about this. That's real.

 

If teens already know about sex then why have sex-ed teachers push their immoral lies on the students about condoms and birth control and sex outside of marriage? Telling students sex is safe with condoms and birth control is a lie. That's real.

 

Sexually immoral behavior is destructive to the individuals and to society in general. Almost always fathersless children end up being raised in poverty by mothers who are little more than a child themselves. That's real.

 

Then they expect the government to step in and pay for the all the child's necessities in life. Guess what? Government must take money from working people who are trying to pay for the needs of their own children to pay for these things. That punishes families because they have to survive with less income because people practice irresponsible and immoral sex. That's real.

 

People need to be held responsible for their actions. If you want to engage is sex then buy your own condoms and birth control. It is not my responsibility to pay for it. That's real.

 

Don't force me to have my children indoctrinated in your immoral and irrational beliefs as I do not accept them. That's real.

 

Do not force me to pay for the food, clothing, housing, medical care, etc., of your fatherless children or because your sexual immorality partner is a deadbeat sperm donor. It's not my responsibility. That's real.

 

When you and others like you choose to have irresponsible, immoral sex the conseqences are your responsibility...not mine or anyone elses That's real.

 

Your admission that you are scared to tell your parents points out another negative about teens having sex. There are enormous emotional issues that will result from teens having sex. Parents are devastated when they find out. The very act of rebellion itself tears families apart. Trust is gone. Teens who engage in sex are not open with their parents because they know it is wrong. Then they try to excuse themselves by blaming their parents. The teenager's bad behavior causes the lack of communication and parental anger. These things are the result of the teenagers immoral behavior and their guilty conscience...not because their parents don't love them or won't  listen. So don't try to blame it on them. I'm sick and tired of parents getting a bad rap by society becasue their children rebelled against their authority. Teens who choose to rebel against their parent's teachings are solely to blame for their actions and the resultant consequences. That's real.

 

Parents are devastated, and rightly so, when their children rebel and choose to have immoral sex before they are married and ready to assume responsibility for their lives and the lives of their children. They know the devastating consequences of sexual immorality so they have good reason to be angry and upset. That's real.

 

Most parents want their children to grow up to be moral, civilized, and productive citizens. Teenage sex, in most cases, produces the exact opposite. Teenage sex proves the child is immoral and rebellious. And most who practice teenage sex are almost wholly dependent on society to raise and nurture their children. That's real.

 

It's not surprising that you're scared to tell your parents about having sex (this proves to me they told you not to do it), but it still shouldn't stop you from telling them because most likely it is your parents who will pay for all the expenses of children you conceive as a result of your immoral choices. Not to mention they will probably end up paying all your health bills if and when you contract a disease. And it the disease is deadly, they will most likely pay for your funeral. That's real.

 

I am not the one who needs to get real...you do. That's real.

 

 
March 3, 2008, 5:18 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

When evil is exalted evil becomes rampant. When evil is demonized evil becomes rare.

 

If this is true, then why are there STI's and pregnancies on many Christian campuses?  I mean, isn't making something taboo just enhancing it's appeal?

I mean, isn't making something taboo just enhancing it's appeal?

Thats so true.  Ive seen it over and over again with my kids friends.

The girls who have been raised as this poster youre replying to thinks they should be, are extremly promiscuous and dont use b.c.  They wont go to their mothers for help because they are afraid, and the girls who mothers have found out, are told they are bad girls.  I know of two whos mothers said horrid things to their daughters, and I know of another 3 who wont even approach their mothers out of fear.  Seems the only advice these girls get is from my daughter.

On the other side of the fence, ive always been very open about sex ed with my kids.  Fear of AIDS took away any puritan notions I had when they were born.   I havent made sex taboo, havent mad it "bad", have held an ongoing open dialouge with them about physical AND emotional protection... IOW, done the exact opposite of what this poster seems to think is acceptable... and it has worked!

When you turn something into "forbidden fruit" you are only adding to the allure of it.  And you know... it doesent have to be an all or nothing thing!  You can teach safe sex AND abstinance.  What people need to do is give children the education and tools they need to make their own choices.  Because they are GOING TO ANYWAYS. 

People who honestly think teaching abstinance only is going to work are living in La La Land.  Its never has worked and it never will.  Imo, these people are more concerned with their OWN views and opinions than they are with protecting children.  Its selfish and dangerous.  What they are basically saying is that they are willing to gamble with a childs life so they can hold onto their own personal views.

 Its selfish.  Its dangerous.  Its wrong.  And it does not work!


 
March 3, 2008, 6:11 am CST

Disagree,,,

Quote From: hockeymom4ever

I agree, the moral decline is disgusting. I had a teacher tell me she was going to teach my 12 yr. old son and his class, that he was to judge no-one and accept everything. She hired 2 gay guys to do a play to let them know that what ever their sexual desires were to act on them. I pulled him out of school that day.  Other respectable, caring parents pulled their kids out also. Our schools push having sex on children early saying it's for their benefit. I know that if parents teach children to respect their body and have self worth that the impulse to have somebody man handling them for something to do on a commercial break won't even be an issue. If parents were responsible for their children instead of being self indulgent or lazy, we would see teen pregnancies decrease. They let their children run the house and make the rules, then act surprised when their little angel comes home pregnant or in some kind of trouble.

Well, being from Europe, I see everything in a different light. there, all countries there teach sex ed and there's much more positive attitude about it too. The kids on the other side of Atlantic are toughed  birth prevention and disease control in a healthy way. Nobody suggest you to go out there and do it. It's all about knowledge and knowledge is power! That is the main reason why there is much less teenage pregnancies and abortion rate is also much lower.

Now I have a questions for all you abstinence until marriage believers: A lot of people get married in their late 20s or 30s... Is this waiting logical?

And, if  you wait until the wedding night, what if you are incompatible with your spouse - what do you do then? I for sure would not buy shoes without trying them......

 

 

 
March 3, 2008, 6:14 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kalia47

o promoter of birth control what do you do when they come to you and tell you they have been infected with HIV or some other disease? Say, "well... I was a responsible parent, I made them take birth control!!!

At 14 15 or 16 they do not understand what kind of danger they are putting themselves in. It's not cured by birth control.  

Hey,

if you teach them birth control, you'll aslo tech them about STDs and a use of condoms...

 
March 3, 2008, 6:54 am CST

Lets be real...

I think it is not only naive but also damaging to view birth control as a go ahead for kids to have sex. A teen who has decided not to have sex is not going to change their mind just because they have contraceptives available to them. In the same regard, those who have chosen to have sex are going to have it whether they have a condom or not. I believe abstinence only education is a way for adults to skirt an issue they are not comfortable discussing with kids. Sex is out there, it is in our movies, music and books because it is such a large part of life and whether teens get the information at school, from their parents or on the internet they are going to get it. I found it everywhere when I was a teen but I was fortunate enough to have parents who educated me and a school system that provided information on contraceptives and the risks involved.



 
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