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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Number of Replies: 1865
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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 3, 2008, 7:00 am CST

Parenting education along with sex education

 We all wish that children came with manuals. Why not come up with s program to teach children how to be a good parent, the sacrifices, etc., as a mandatory class. Then if they become pregnant, they must attend other special classes to help them hands on to be nurturing and responsible with the gift they have. Rather then maturnity leave, bring the baby to class and everyone in the class can learn. Why haven't we thought about parenting classes as part of the education process. I'm sure the majority will end up being parents at one time or another.
 
March 3, 2008, 7:02 am CST

rhetoric v. solutions

i have a real problem with the way many of the guests are handling this topic.  bishop jakes can preach all he wants about villages and parents losing control.  all of this is true, but is he offering any solutions?  sex education and provision of birth control to teens IS decreasing the teen pregnancy rate and it IS preventing responsible teens from contracting stds.  at least these are steps in the right direction.  you can tell your kid they "can't" have sex all you want, but you can't stop them.  not only that, but many parents today don't care enough to have the sex conversation with their children.  if the school doesn't do it, who will?  i don't think it should be the school's responsibility to educate teens about sex, but until bishop jakes or someone else finds a solution to parent apathy, sex education in schools is all many kids have.  fostering ignorance in teens is ignorance in itself and its not helping anyone.
 
March 3, 2008, 7:05 am CST

Don't make the same mistakes

I was a teen parent at sixteen. Not only should sex ed be taught by schools it should be repeated by everyone in the child's life. Knowledge is power and along with AIDS/STD''s/HEPATITIS monogamy, respect of another's body,self gratification, and family dynamics should be discussed. Schools should be more in touch with the medical community and have professionals come in.  Teenagers tune out so many voices that it wouldn't hurt to have another resource. They might have been not listening the first three times because the resource was mom or dad or worst their friends.

 
March 3, 2008, 7:08 am CST

Sex and Teens

As the mother of 4 teenagers, I think communication is the key here. Parent's need to tune into their kids. Stay plugged into what they watch, who they hang out with, who they date. Don't be overbearing but your kids should know you are there for them no matter what the situation is. Abstinence is ideal but you can't just preach that alone, you have to give them all the facts as to why it is a good idea. Not just from a religious stand point, although preferable, but what the consequences can be. Having one of my kids come tell me they are or got someone pregnant isn't nearly as devestating as being told they have HIV/AIDS. I don't think it is the school's responsibility to hand out condoms. Their job is to educate, not promote liberal ideology. A lot of parents don't talk to their kids so they don't have the information to make a good decision so they should be able to go to their Dr. or a clinic so they can make a good choice.
 
March 3, 2008, 7:12 am CST

im 20 and need to vent for a second.

ok. first of all that bishop guy is really pissing me off. to me, personally, no matter how much parents tell their kids to not have sex, the kids are most likely to have sex anyways. when i was 16 i lost my virginity. i had sex ed, got information from my parents, and new the conseuqnses. honestly, just because kids know the info, that doesnt mean that its gunna stop them from having sex. my mom always tells me to use a condom and birth control. she HATES the fact that i was having sex at that age, but to her, if im gunna do it, theres no way she can stop me. kids get away with it anywhere and everywhere. kids will have sex in the woods, when parents arent home, and sometimes sneak out with their boyfriends. i think parents are very nieve and need to understand that kids are doing alot of crap behind their backs and they have NO idea. i totally think that their need to be birth control in schools & sex ed classes. if kids are waiting for that special someone, then good for them, but for those who dont wait and have sex young, i think they need to be given the protection. its very embarassing for girls to ask their moms for birth control. i know i was. for a long time i had to go without it, but finally i lied to my mom and told her to get me on it so my periods would not be as bad. i know so many girls that want to get it, but dont want their parents to know. so if they gave them out in school, i totally think their would be less pregnancies in teens. and about the whole school pregnancy leave, im all for that. how the heck is the baby going to be able to create a bond with the mom if she is never around. that can lead to issues later on in life.

okay, i feel better. :) thanks yall.
 
March 3, 2008, 7:14 am CST

UNBELIEVABLE- ask some adoptees !!!

 

   After watching this show I am AGAIN shocked that nobody ever wants to discuss the most crucial point of all these discussions !!!    Hello People -  Was the 40's, 50's and 60's NOT about preaching and teaching abstinence !! ???     Let's talk about the over 6 million adoptees and birthmother's who went thru a time in Society where there was no support  or information for teenagers.  Let's talk about how society treated them !!     If you really want to get to the ROOT of the problems - let's learn from history -  let's go back and revisit those days and times - let's let the Birthmothers speak and let's talk to the adoptees about the ramifications and results of those days before we even think of discussing what to do for teens today.   

   I think Dr. Phil should do what NO OTHER talk show host has attempted to do EVER in the history of talk shows -  Do a show that will REALLY UNCOVER our nations biggest secret - expose the information on teen pregnancy that most people don't know.   Let's talk about how those birthmothers and the families of those girls were treated 40 years ago.  Let's talk about how Society treated them and let's talk about the millions of children that were Stolen from teen mothers because they weren't allowed to make the decision themselves.  !!

  Has anyone read the book:  The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade  ----   by Ann Fessler

 

Let's take a look at what happened when Society DID preach abstinence - and THEN let's revisit this subject !!! 

 

And Dr. Phil - I challenge you to do the one show that could TRUELY change the world - let's expose what is perhaps our Country's BIGGEST SECRET of all -  learn what needs to be learned from it -  and then, and only then,  discuss teen sex and teen pregnancy !!

 
March 3, 2008, 7:20 am CST

teens and sex

To give a teen condoms and such at school don't mean that you are promoting sexual behavior as long as you can talk with the teen (as a parent or otherwise) about not having sex but if they choose to do so they should protect their self  for their own well being. It's all about the conversations you have with your children.

 
March 3, 2008, 7:28 am CST

I am all for it dr.Phil and Rev .T.D. Jakes

I have a child and she is four now I know for a fact that she is to young to understand about sex right now but when she gets older I will tell her.The other thing is I agree that it all starts at home with the parents and if it is not taught at home there is a miscommunication with mixed messages. I disagree with the birth control at schools I belive that parents are to be notified when this type of stuff goes on and that the teachers should tell the kids to tell there parents about what is going on not to keep it as a secret. I belive that people reap what they sow. People learn from there mistakes and reap from what they did from not listening .
 
March 3, 2008, 7:33 am CST

I don't feel like a hypocrite

I am a Christian; a Baptist, to be accurate.  When my daughter turned eight, I started giving her "the talk" in small degrees.  I started telling her things that I thought were age-appropriate, and as she ages the talk gets a little more detailed.  When I was young, I was told NOTHING, except to stay a virgin until I married, or to marry the guy who "lured me into sin."  By following that edict, I ended up marrying a total jerk who ruined my life.  A lot of the girls I went to middle and high school with got the same talk I got.  We also got the following talk in our sex ed class in school (I'm paraphrasing; hey, it's been about twenty years since I was thirteen!):

 

"If you have sex while you are still in school, everybody will call you a slut and they will treat you like an outcast."

 

The problem with that is, nobody ever said anything about the GUY being a slut, the guy saying "if you love me you'd do it", or the fact that it isn't JUST the guy who feels urges.  By the time I learned ANYTHING about sex,  I learned it the hard way.  I was date raped, and instead of prosecuting the dipstick who did it, I MARRIED HIM (per the rules of the edict.  You ALWAYS MARRY the man who takes your virginity, remember?)  I got five years of misery thanks to that decision, and two additional years of HIV testing thanks to the ex's belief that vows were merely guidelines to be followed very loosely. 

 

If I had been educated properly, I would have prosecuted my rapist and not believed that such a heinous act was proof he "needed" me, nor would I have blamed myself when the horrible act happened.  I refuse to have my two kids by him repeat history.  So I am starting early and am being completely adamant that my kids will have the education they need to avoid a major catastrophe.  I will ask them to consider virginity when the time comes, but I am also going to tell them to take their own protection with them if they go out with a boy.  And no, birth control pills are NOT the protection I plan to send them out with.

 

Christianity is a beautiful and glorious thing, but it does not stop human nature or emotional blackmail.  I've seen too many good Christian girls give birth by the time they were sixteen; most of them being treated shamefully or like the town slut as predicted by our sex ed class.  I know my kids are good Christian kids, but I also know that temptation falls to EVERYONE; especially to uneducated, hormone-surging teenagers.  I will not risk a teenage pregnancy or a life-threatening disease to preach the virtues of a celibate-only life.  And if I have to answer to that choice to my God in the fullness of time, well that's what I'll do.  But to me, keeping my kids safe and healthy is so very worth it!

 
March 3, 2008, 7:36 am CST

Sex throughout life

No Sex!


Don't you use what you learn in school throughout your life? Not just while you're in school.

Gardacil- does rape not happen? Is your husband a virgin TOO! yeah right- like 40 year old virgins Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram.

 

You can learn about cars in school before you get one; shouldn't  learning about your own body be at least as important?

 

Were the guests all virgins until they married?


Per Guttmacer Inst. 40% of women will have an abortion- The Common Secret.

A review of  birth dates and marriage dates from the past "golen moral age" shows people were having sex outside of marriage then too!

 

Why not continue to focus on 20, 30 , 40, 50+ year olds too! Don't morals apply to grandpa and his girlfriend too?

 
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