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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 1, 2008, 3:18 pm CST

Teens and Sex with Bishop T. D. Jakes

Maybe you should re think the title of this one.  "Teens and Sex with Bishop T. D. Jakes"?????   Sounds like the Bishop is doing things he shouldn't be doing with people he shouldn't be doing it with.  But, at least, he's in the right religion to be doing it.
 
March 1, 2008, 3:29 pm CST

kids and sex

Don't tell me that "kids are going to have sex".....not if they've been educated by their families or their churchs, they won't..... Unfortunately, most kids aren't going to church because they are not "made to" by their parents.  So where does the education come from?  I don't think that schools should be blamed for children's ignorance, but that seems to be the only place where kids are most of the time.  Moms... if you don't reallyl need that new fence or built in swimming pool, stay home and talk to your kids.  Parents are the primary educators of life with their children.  Think about it. 
 
March 1, 2008, 4:29 pm CST

Poor other parents and their children

Quote From: sundeigo

 I AM A PARENT WHO SENT MY DAUGHTER TO A PRIVATE CHRISTIAN HIGH SCHOOL AND THEY TAUGHT ABSTINENCE. A CROCK! 7TH GRADER PREGNANT BY A 12TH GRADER. THOUGH SOME MAY WANT TO ABSTAIN OTHER'S SHOULD BE GIVEN THE INFORMATION THEMSELVES, TO MAKE THE CHOICE. TEENS WILL EVEN HAVE ANAL SEX TO SAY THEY ARE STILL VIRGINS. GIVE ORAL SEX. ANYTHING BUT VAGINAL SEX TO SAY THEY ARE  STILL VIRGINS.. I FEEL IT IS UP TO THE PARENTS IN ANY TYPE OF SCHOOL TO TELL THE CHILD ABOUT SEX. IF A STUDENT ASKED ME FOR A CONDOM I WOULD GO BUY THEM. BETTER SAFE THEN SORRY. WHAT I SAID TO MY DAUGHTER WAS:   IF YOU THINK YOU ARE READY FOR SEX, KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, ORGASM'S, BLOWJOBS, O R U GOING TO SWALLOW. SOME SAY ONCE BUT MEN WANT IT ALL THE TIME. BY THE WAY YOU SHOULD GET A VIBRATOR TO SEE IF YOU MISSED THE ORGASM DUE TO BOTH SHOULD PLEASURE. I WAS SO BLUNT I TOLD HER THAT WHEN A WOMAN HAS SEX MOM'S CAN TELL CAUSE THE GIRL'S WILL WALK DIFFERENT, SHE BELEIVED ME AND SO DID HER FRIENDS. I TALKED ABOUT EVEYTHING. OMG YOU HAD SEX WITH MARY WELL MARY HAD SEX WITH JOE AN  JOE HAD SEX WITH HEATHER AND WOW DO YOU REALLY KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE HAD SEX WITH. WELL I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THAT IF SHE WAS READY I WOULD TAKE HER TO OUR DOCTOR OR THERE IS SUCH A PLACE CALLED PLANNED PARENTHOOD. PLEASE USE THESE PLACES FOR SUCH AS STD'S AIDS. ECT. BUT IF YOU ARE READY I CAN'T STOP YOU BUT I CAN PREPARE YOU. MOST KIDS IN HIGH SCHOOL WILL NEVER FORGET MY OPENNESSS CAUSE THE SCHOOL TAUGHT ABSTINENCE. SHAME BUT WHERE ARE THE PARENTST IN THIS. TALK TO YOUR KIDS THEY WANT TO KNOW. I SAVED ALOT OF KIDS WENT TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY AS A VOLUNTEER SINCE PRE-SCHOOL TO 11TH GRADE. THEY FOUND OUT I HAD SPOKEN TO A STUDENT ABOUT HER ACTIONS NOT MINE. GAVE HER WISDOM AND ADVISE AND WAS ASKED TO LEAVE THE GODLY HOUSE THAT GIRL WAS PREGNANT IN A FEW MONTHS. I LEFT STILL TEACHING MY DAUGHTER AND ALL HER FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL LOTS CAME OVER ON WEEKENDS. WE HAD DISCUSSIONS WITH CONSEQUENCES OF BEHAVIOR. THOSE PARTICULAR KIDS ARE 26-28 AND ARE NOT MARRIED, ENGAGED SOME TO BE MARRIED, NOT PREGNANT WITH CHILDREN NO HUSBAND. I MUST SAY HONESTY IS THE ONY WAY TO TALK TO A TEEN. VERY FEW DOES THAT PROGRAM WORK BUT THEY THINK IT 'S GOD'S WAY WELL TEACH BOTH THEY NEED THE EDUCATION IF NOT IN SCHOOL . ...... PARENT'S STEP UP SAVE YOU CHILD. TEACH TEACH THEM WELL. NOT A GRANDMA YET, TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER WELL W/O SCHOOL. AND TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICES BUT THESE ARE YOUR OPPORTUNITIES AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOU ACTIONS SO IT'S REALLY UP TO YOU. MY DAUGHTER FLURISHED DURING 11TH AN 12TH GRADE, CAME INTO HER SELF. I AM A PROUD MOTHER OF MANY MANY CHILDREN  1 MNE THE OTHER 200 YOUR'S.
 You scare me. I support Planned Parenthood, I support knowledge about consequences and stds and the whole thing. But you discuss specific sexual acts with other people's children?? I hope I'm reading this wrong. You buy condoms for other parents' children? How dare you. And then, after all this "truth," you lie to your daughter about how a mom can tell if she's had sex or not?? What a hypocrite. I hope you learn soon to butt out. I hope my children never meet you and actually, it's good that I read this I can start teaching them about parents who overstep their bounds. If anyone dared talk to them about specific sexual acts, I would file charges. I'm disgusted that you seem to be proud of this awful behavior.
 
March 1, 2008, 5:18 pm CST

Vigin until marriage

I was taught about sex from a young age from a Christian standpoint.  My mother was very open and honest with me about sex, it was something created for us that was beautiful and it was inteded to be for those who dedicated their lives to one another, marriage.  My mom also told me that we are only human and while she taught me that abstinence was was God intended until marriage, she also told me where she had some condoms.  She in no way was saying it was okay for me to have sex, but she also wanted me to be smart if I made the decision to do it.  I took the pledge from True Love Waits and got a purity ring at 13 years old and I kept my pledge until I was married at 24.  I kept my standards high and so did he.  We didn't compromise and get ourselves in the situations where we were tempted to have sex.  It was such a beautiful wedding when we both said our vows to each other, we also exchanged our purity rings to each other.  My husband thanked me on our wedding night for waiting for him and saving myself.  I will never forget that.  We are going to teach our children the way we were taught, it will be up to them since we can't run their lives, but we will give them the information and teach them what God says about sex.  There are so many cons of having sex before marriage, and for girls it is an emotional act that they will carry with them.  There is so much to consider before having sex.  I don't have any other experiences to look back on and I am thankful that my husband does not either.  It is so important to teach abstinence, but at the same time, I think safe sex should be taught and kids should be taught all the consequences that goes with it.
 
March 1, 2008, 5:28 pm CST

Can Abstinence Work

I have been a faithful watcher of your show for as long as you have been on the air. Every show is taped lest I miss one. However, after listening to bits of one of your upcoming shows, I was sorely disappointed to think I heard you say you were in favor of giving condoms to teens in schools. Tell me I'm wrong. We raised two sons and taught them what God has to say about sex before marriage and am proud of both of them. They are now married with children and their wives thank us for teaching them morals. I realize that I may be judged as a religious crazy--that's okay. I'm not religous but am crazy about God and His teachings. It's true many parents aren't involved with their children's lives but someone needs to speak up for abstinence--which is possible. I know I abstained and my children abstained. It is dangerous for kids to cross the street. Should we then put them out there and teach them how to dodge cars? Teenage sex and STD's are on the rise--how's that working for you?

 

Gary Andrews

 
March 1, 2008, 5:29 pm CST

hmmmmm

I am on the fence about this one. Personally i think it's the parents' jobs to educate their kids about sex when they start going through puberty. They should expplain the consequences of the acts of it. But also schools can give more health details about deases that can be caught from thee acts as well.
 
March 1, 2008, 6:06 pm CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: mrjimmyb

Unfortunately we live in an age where pre marital sex is approved of.  The acceptable peer pressure of the time is " try out the merchandise before you get married". I don't know how many times i've heard this phrase over the years. In years gone by the peer pressure was those who did such were shunned.

Today there are many other problems that must be faced such as HIV, AIDS. It's time for the morality of this nation to turn around and stand up for what morally right. Diseases like aids and HIV show how the

steady moral decline of this nation and  it is now reaping the fruits of what it's sowed for many years. The only way to eradicate such diseases is to be tested fore such diseases before marriage and to abstain until marriage. Until the morality of this nation improves these diseases will always be a problem.

I agree, the moral decline is disgusting. I had a teacher tell me she was going to teach my 12 yr. old son and his class, that he was to judge no-one and accept everything. She hired 2 gay guys to do a play to let them know that what ever their sexual desires were to act on them. I pulled him out of school that day.  Other respectable, caring parents pulled their kids out also. Our schools push having sex on children early saying it's for their benefit. I know that if parents teach children to respect their body and have self worth that the impulse to have somebody man handling them for something to do on a commercial break won't even be an issue. If parents were responsible for their children instead of being self indulgent or lazy, we would see teen pregnancies decrease. They let their children run the house and make the rules, then act surprised when their little angel comes home pregnant or in some kind of trouble.
 
March 1, 2008, 7:27 pm CST

Sex Ed.

Speaking as a person who's high school actually had a real sex ed.  I think it is a wonderful thing.  My school didn't hand out condons but they did teach us about safe sex.  They taught us about HIV/AIDS and the rest of the STD's.  They told us that while the safest sex is no sex, if we were going to do it we should be smart about it. 

I don't believe in waiting until marriage to have sex.  I didn't.  But I also didn't have sex until I was 21.  I waited until I knew that I was not going to have any regrets, and I was smart about it.  I was with a respectful and responsible man.  I still have fond feelings for him even though I know it will never work...I can't imagine a better person to have lost my virginity to.  I know my now ex-husband would have been an appalling choice.

I believe it is more important to feel good about your choice and be smart about it than to have regrets.  Women should be taught about their bodies and how to protect themselves.  I also have viewed the statistics since the abstinence only programs have been enacted.  Teen pregnancy has risen for the first time in like ten years.  It is naive and ignoran to think that teens won't have sex if you tell them not to.  Teens have been having sex for centuries with or without social permission they are not going to stop anytime soon.  So we need to educate them not preach at them...keep the sermons in the church.

 
March 1, 2008, 7:28 pm CST

TEENS AND SEX

I think that every school should have a sex ed class, but just because they have these classes dosen't mean that they will not have sex... I first started having sex at 15 and I had sex ed., my mom and brothers talked to me about sex, but I still did it, just because every one else was and I wanted to fit in..I had my son at 18. If the school I went to gave us b/c, I wouldn't have took it, not because I want a baby, but because I don't believe in it. The pill or others ways don't always work...You should not tell your kids they are not s'ppose to have sex, they will STILL do it any ways.. teens are gonna have sex no matter what they are told.. Sure talk to us, tell us what can happen, this dosen't mean we'll not have sex, but we will listen to what you have to say..We are gonna do what we want to no matter what we're told, we'll always find a way..And this is coming from someone whos been in this.. I've done everything there is to do and no I'm not happy about it, but I wouldn't change a thing...
 
March 1, 2008, 7:33 pm CST

Oh Please

Quote From: er5729

Don't tell me that "kids are going to have sex".....not if they've been educated by their families or their churchs, they won't..... Unfortunately, most kids aren't going to church because they are not "made to" by their parents.  So where does the education come from?  I don't think that schools should be blamed for children's ignorance, but that seems to be the only place where kids are most of the time.  Moms... if you don't reallyl need that new fence or built in swimming pool, stay home and talk to your kids.  Parents are the primary educators of life with their children.  Think about it. 
Church has nothing to do with it.  And some kids are going to have sex.  Like adults thay are all different and going to make their own decisions.  Don't blame this on mom.  Some kids only have a mom because men these days are big kids who run at the first sign of responsiblity.  No one should be forced to go to church for any reason....especially if they don't believe in it.  I know I don't want my child in a church.
 
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