Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

I have a daughter who is now 19 and in college.  I was very honest and blunt in talking about love, abstinence, sex, birth control. STDs, reputation, and other pertinent facts.  While I am aware that I cannot "make" her abstinent, she needed all the information so she could make her decision when the time came.  I made it very clear that having sex has medical and emotional consequences that can impact the rest of her life. 

When a friend of hers became pregnant and had a baby, I was sympathetic.  I used that situation to point out that having a baby isn't the end of the world, but it finishes your childhood and makes it much more difficult to finish school and pursue higher education.  It made her life a lot harder.  There are consequences to your choices.

I don't think this is the responsibility of the school or church.  I love and care about my child more than anyone else.  I know more than the school or church about what is best for her.  For a teen, it isn't just enough to tell them that abstinence is best for them, you must go into all the details and consequence of why it is best.  I don't think it is scaring them; it's just giving them the facts so they can make informed decisions. 

I know that talking about this with your child can be difficult, but lots of things are difficult. 

Did you keep your mouth shut when your child was young and got in the street?  Did you ride a bike without a helmet?  Did you let them put their hands on a hot stove or in a fireplace?  Of course you alerted them to dangers they couldn't see!!!   Having sex as a teen or younger can be dangerous for them.  They expose themselves to uncurable STDs, pregnancy and great emotional distress!!.  If they are not informed, they don't see these dangers.   

       When I was in school, we did not have sex education.  We had something better.  One day an obstetrician, a doctor who specializes in childbirth, gave us a lecture and answered the questions we had the nerve to ask him in a co-ed setting.

       He told us that there are times in our lives when we need a professional.  For this reason, I do not believe that schools have any business practicing medicine.  A 13-year-old girl has a big problem when she is pregnant.  I remember the doctor explaining that young girls have a difficult time carrying a pregnancy to term.  "The worst thing that can happen is not having a baby, it is suddenly not having a baby."  One of the boys asked him for further clarification.  And, we all learned that the miscarriage rate is much higher for girls under 16. 

     I personally knew a 13-year-old who discovered she was pregnant.  Her "boyfriend" told her to wait before she told her parents.  And, two months later, she had a miscarriage.  She was relieved, and happy.  She thought she had been unbelievably lucky.

    Two weeks later, she developed a raging fever--over 105 degrees.  The emergency room doctor asked her if she wanted to live.  "Then, tell me the truth:  Have you been pregnant?"  It was all she could do to force herself to nod yes.  And then he went into the waiting room, explaining to her mortified parents that either they would agree to an emergency hysterectomy, or he would be forced to obtain a court order.  (Their daughter would be dead by morning without the operation)

   No parents should have to face something like this.  It is almost cruel.

   Her "boyfriend?"  He was her 37-year-old married uncle, and their "affair" had been going on since she was five.

You make some good points...however, I think you are a bit misinformed regarding teachers "peddling homosexuality". I don't know where you got that idea, but I truly think that's media hype....First of all, if you have any genuine knowledge of this particular subject, you would know that people are BORN homosexuals, not "made". It isn't "peddled".  I'm sure there are some people who wish to experiment with it...I think the term nowdays is "bi-curious"....but, the true homosexual has not chosen to be this way....who the heck would CHOOSE this hard road? It must be heartbreaking to always have people judge and humiliate you...especially when you are so young; too young to know how to deal with it.

But, that's off the subject. I just wanted to bring that out.

I am a mother of three.  Thank God my son turned 18 and this younger teen part of my life is over!  I ceratainly do not want to see the spread of S.T.D.'s nor do I wish an unplanned prgnancy on anyone...so, I believe that the sex education, trumps the preaching of anstinance in so far it is the lesser of two evils.

You say that having sex at 12 was the worst mistake of your life.  It WAS a mistake, take it from someone who is older and has had more experience, it wasn't the worst...it was sad.  You were lucky NOT to have gotten pregnant, or contacted a disease...God forbid, one that would last a lifetime.  So yes, I hear you...but please hear me.  When you were 12, were I to have handed you condoms for safe sex...I would have felt as if I were a pedophile...promoting the sexual activity of a 12 year old!  This differs from teaching it...I'm all FOR the education, just having a problem with enablement.

As adults, we too have our beliefs and our feelings.  I wish that you teens could be a bit more sensitive to those...and do NOT tell me that teens can't...if you can have sex, you can have a bit of maturity in all areas of life...so please don't hand me the psycho-babble that teens CAN'T feel for us...they may choose not to...but that is very different. 

In order to keep you safe from the sexual reprecussions, I will go with the realities and drink the poison to better protect your physical health...I'm not happy about what sex at 12 does to you emotionally, but adding to that a pregnancy...a disease...well as I've said...the lesser of two evils.

Think about it.  A 12 year old....we facilitate sexual activity...for this child...I feel dirty.  Almost as low as a pedophile, yet it is being done under the auspices of "protection"...and maybe it is...12 year olds can navigate by themselves and sex isn't only performed after dark.  I dunno, I feel as if it is a form of emotional blackmail...do I follow my conscience, or give a child a death sentence or an unwanted pregnancy?  Gun to our heads....so, understand WHY we waiver.