Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Dr. Phil, I disrespect you for bringing religion into psychology. Having the minister as a guest for his opinion, fine, but as a ‘helper’..? As well, Dr. Wallace’s opinion that a 14-year-old’s brain is not developed enough to have sex is his medical opinion – not gospel, so to speak. We all know that a 14-year-old’s brain is not as developed and that they are overwhelmed with the hormones from their bodies telling them to mate – as one mother pointed out. As for ‘controlling’ teenagers ... control? Most parents have no idea what their kids are doing. There is no such thing as control, never mind over hormonal teenagers who have their own lives to live. Is abstinence worth while encouraging? Of course. Enforcing through fear? Of course not. What’s important here is information, encouraging kids to discuss it – with experts, parents and each other – and giving them honest support rather than deceiving, intimidating or attempting (and failing) to control them.

I am a sixteen year old , female, sophomore at high school and I am sexually active. I have only been so for 8 or 9 months now, and when I first started, I was confused. I didn't know what to do, what was going on, what the best things to prevent certain things would be. When I was younger, I didn't even know how to put a tampon in. I've experienced tons of Health Classes since the 6th grade and still didn't know that you couldn't get pregnant from digesting sperm. Health Classes in the United States are bad enough that we don't know what to do and how to prevent things. I have made a mistake in my life (not pregnancy, no) because I didn't know all the information. Thankfully, my mother is a nurse and whenever I need to know something, I have somebody I can go to. Many children can't. I am fully against TEACHING abstinence. I read an article in Seventeen Magazine about a high school that had one of the highest teen pregnancy rates and guess what. They tought abstinence. Only problem? They didn't teach their kids ANYTHING about sex. They didn't know about condoms, they didn't know about spermicide, they didn't know how to prevent anything. Sex has been going on since the dawn of time. How do you think we all got here? It's a natural part of life that you can't try to hide from your children. Be open with your kids and let them know all the facts. I didn't have to be sexually active; I could have chosen to stay in the clear. My parents scared me with the Maury Show, so I am proud to say that I am still a virgin. I love my boyfriend as much as I can right now and you may say that I'm too young, but who are you to tell me what I feel and what I don't? If I have never done anything with any of my other 10 exes, what made me do it now? Peer pressure? From who. Nobody in my school knows because I've always been against sex at a young age. I think me being almost 16 when I first had my sexual anything is pretty damn good. You may not think so, but I do. As a teen, I wish I didn't have to always go to my parents to ask them certain questions. I have only had one Health teacher who would teach us everything we asked and I only had her for one semester. I still have to ask her sex questions because I still don't know everything. Has anyone even touched Anal Sex in their Health Class? I doubt it; if us kids knew how positively deadly that is, we wouldn't think it was so much safer than regular sex. Yes, it's true. Tons of kids think that anal is better than vaginal because you can't get pregnant that way when, in reality, you can. (If the spermies slip down into your vag' and then you get fingered or the body poundin' agaisnt ya, then yes, you can get preggers).

I know a lot of people are going to throw the whole Christianity bull at me and I'm going to tell you now, don't bother. God knows that kids are having sex and if you can't stop them, then tell them everything so they'll stop spreading AIDS or any disease that sometimes have no symptoms. Please don't throw religion into this because I don't believe in religion. Yeah, I think something is probably out there but I don't believe in the Bible because people have completely turned it into a giant ridiculous thing. Don't get me started on it, I won't stop.

So there's what I think, a normal, happy, 16-year-old girl who is in high school and plans on going to college. I plan on staying a virgin until I'm 18-years-old at the least. Thanks.

While I agree that sex ed should start at home with parents, I do not think every parent knows how to go about having that conversation which is why they rely on schools... that does not make them "deadbeats." 

Im 23 years old and I can remember starting to have sex at a young age. I was raised very strongly in the church, and not educated on sex by my parents. I was not allowed to recive sex education at school due to my religon. Somehow, I still fell into the trap of teen sex. I belive that education would have been better than what I had. I obviously didn't do good without knowing about protection, teen pregnacy, and STI's. I never got the chance to make a relevant, educated decison.  Since the beggining of time, teens have had sex. I do not condone it. I know people that have waited, and they are strong in their beliefs why. I have not and now feel that if I had recived education it would have at least been a decison made knowing what I was getting into. I am thankful that I did not have a teen pregnacy or contract a disease, but now feel "icky" thinking about all the bad sexual decisons I made. Bottom line, its going to happen with some people, so at least educate their decsion. I was not educated so you cannot blame my decison on the school "condoning sex".

PS. Hopefully Ed never gets another job teaching abstinance. Teaching about abstanance is fine, but that man is too far gone!

The daughter of a former Planned Parenthood employee is now the mother of a son ..pregnant on  high school graduation day .  A beautiful 20 year old has herpes cause her boyfriend didn't wear a condom.  The sores were visible....she had sex  with him anyway.  These ladies had the information  and full access to protection but were emotionally unable to say "no."  Their need for emotional 'connection' overode their reasoning. and logic.

Bishop Jakes is absolutely right...parents have the most important role to guide their teens and their failure resulted in the  sad, negative and permanent consequences of premature sex.