Topic : 03/07 Dr. Phil Now: Sex Offenders Next Door

Your hateful rants only serve to prove the fact that many people are saying. NOT ALL SEX OFFENDERS ARE RAPIST AND MURDERS. Do you get it now? Or should I say it again? Many people are everyday people and you poor analysis of facts misconstrues the truth.

It was stated that 95% do not reoffend....so why would you jump to the conclusion that every attempted rape is a second offence? If you had not noticed many of the offenders are first time offenders. And could you please look closer at your statistics or give me a citation for your facts?

If you would calm down and take one second to listen to people you would understand people do not want to let rapist or molesters go with no punishment. I have not heard one person say "my son held a girl down and forcibly raped her and he is not a sex offender" what  have heard is that there are many cases in which the person labeled an offender was two teens, drunk urinates or streakers. These people are not rapists or molesters.

So if you could please take the time and not casting your drag net over such large group of people I would be grateful.

GOSH...I CAN'T BELEIVE HOW MEAN SOME OF YOU CAN BE. SOME PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES AND

GO TO RECOVERY PROGRAMS AND THEIR LIVES CHANGE FOR THE BETTER....95%  NEVER OFFEND AGAIN.  THE HARD PART IS THEIR FAMILY, THEIR CHILDREN GET HURT THROUGH STUFF LIKE THIS...I MEAN BY IGNORANT PEOPLE THAT WANT TO MAKE BOLD LICENSE PLATES IN BRIGHT RED....I WOULD MUCH RATHER SEE THOSE KIND OF LICENSE PLATES FOR DEAD-BEAT DADS INSTEAD OF DADS THAT HAVE TRULY CHANGED AND SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN...PAY FOR THEIR BRACES....BUY THEIR PROM DRESSES, TEACH THEM HOW TO DEAL WITH TEMPTATION AND NOT TO MAKE STUPID MISTAKES AND SHOW THEM THAT PEOPLE DO GET A 2ND CHANCE .  AS DR. PHIL ALWAYS SAYS "TAKES OWNERSHIP" IN WHAT THEY HAVE DONE...YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE....SOMETIMES GETTING CAUGHT IS THE BEST BLESSING BUT I DON'T BELEIVE THE INTERNET OR LICENSE PLATES HELP THEM...IT JUST HURTS THE ONES THEY LOVE....AND THEN MANY OF US TAXPAYERS HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS...INCLUDING THERAPY FOR THE CHILDREN THAT GET TEASED AT SCHOOL BECAUSE SOMEONE FOUND OUT THEIR DAD

WAS ON THE INTERNET.....STOP THE MADNESS!

Statistics support both your statement, as well as those in the post to which you responded.  It is very confusing because I have read a good bit on pedophilia, each piece contradicts the next.  Is this like cancer?  That has stages...1 or 2, you have a good shot at recovery upper 4 to 5, it's ususally fatal.  Could it be that this mental defect or disorder DOES have degrees and that the research is inconclusive because we still do not know enough about pedophilia?

Were my children not victims, I would not have done so much reading on the topic.  I know that is ignorant, but it took this "in your face" event to wake me up to the fact that yes, this is not something that happens to "the other guy", and you cannot tell one by their appearance or their status in life...even within your family.I had always heard that all will re-offend, the urges do not go away, they cannot be cured, and that there is never just one offense.  Research and professionals supported this, yet in reading more, learning of opposite research and studies, it seems that there is evidence to the contrary.

Why isn't there an opened forum of the professionals who believe one theory, and those who believe another.  I would like to see Dr. Phil run a series of shows on this, where both sides could present their case, and have Dr. Phil question the findings.

STOP IT NOW is a very pro-victim foundation, offering tremendous help to victims and families.  They do believe that not all will re-offend, and that there is hope for successful treatment.

IF, and that is a big IF, there is hope, if only in a percentage, why not explore that as well?  I'm in no way suggesting that we drop the criminalization of the acts.  I only question...today, this is all that we have, so we MUST try to do something to inform and to hopefully, protect children from harm.  What if there is something that would be better?  What if this is like cancer, it has stages, and not all offenders have the same stage? 

I would not be questioning, but the controversy in the statistics do come from very respectable sources, opposite, yet equal in the professional backgrounds of the research teams.  Would it be so bad if they were to work together to bring us out of the dark ages in our knowledge, as has been done with other mental dis-orders? 

My stance does not come from a bleeding heart pedophile suppoter.  It comes from a person who has been through the experience of seeing victims suffer..my children...after disclosing something I'd have sworn that could never be..not by HIM...If we could learn more, and in doing so help those who may be able to respond to therapy for the disease, the result would only yield less victims.

We are far from that yet why is information contradicting the old, coming forward along with the opened discussions about a subject that had been swept under the rug for generations?  I offer no opinions, as I'm not a research scientist, nor a person of medicine.  I just question those who are, and wonder why the statistics do vary.  Who is more accurate, are there degrees, do some never re-offend, while others will continue to do so?  It's a serious  problem  that should be turned inside out, upside down, with hopes of finding better solutions.  Right now, we have to use what is available, which may differ in 20 years.  Until then, if better is ever to be, we must keep track of sex offenders, the real ones...and keep the registry for its original purpose.  It is called Megan's Law for a reason...in her memory,  do not water it down to where it becomes a negative...and that is where it has headed.  Legal groups are already preparing to challange the constitutionality of it.  NAMBLA won the right to exist when brought to court.  Unless the Registry is cleaned out, it will not stand strong against the intense litigation of growing opposition.  We have such limited resources in this area, why compromise the integrity of what we do have?

I've said nothing about the people who have found themself on the registry for mooning or peeing, Ive said nothing about it because, people on this board are using it justify why,( they think ) the RSO doesn't work.  The show wasn't about peeing and mooning, it was about protecting are kids, from sex offenders.  for anouther child may not have to endure abuse at the hands of a molester, and for a mother may not have to see the face of their child when their innocents  is lost, way to early, and way to brutal,  you have been there, your eyes are open,

I don't need statisics to let me know whats real and whats not, I watch the news every morning as I get my kids ready for school, at least once a week sometimes two you hear of another  attack on a child, by a new offender or a 2, 3, 4 time offender who has been in the system, took the classes on how not to reoffend, so they can get out, to worry about them and how they are going to have a life when they get out, I can't. I worry more for their next victim,

couple of days ago, the news was on and another victim being reported about, a 2 year old raped and given a STD, was the header.  No matter how many I hear about it still shocks me and tear my heart out for the child, and what was going though their little minds.

just a few years ago, we would hear from the familys, of DUI, saying the same thing how is he or she going to support their familys if they don'thave a drivers lisence, and their defence was why don't you go after the child molester, and leave my family alone. they only did it once. that was crap, and now you hear from the sex offender and his family saying the same thing, 

the best one is,   it was a mistake, 

so don't let the tears of a sex offender water down , the truth, first we protect the children.

I hope you did not mis-interpret my post.  I want to protect the children first.  That is why I have stated over and over again that we cannot "water down" the registry because it is really all that we have.  I admit, it is NOT enough, but it is something.  Were all to be removed from that registry who really do not belong in it, there would be  time and man power to really monitor the SEX OFFENDERS.  Maybe then it would make it more difficult for those in it to list an address, only to move away without telling the police where they are.

I  look to a better future, if at all possible.  I am in no way letting the offenders tears effect me.  The victims tears are my concern.  Today, we use what we have.  Why is it wrong to want better, and more for the future?

I agree with your first and second post. as parents we are always looking for better ways to help are children grow up healthy and happy. we take what we get and fight to make it better.

I think the laws are catching up, they see we are tired of the children being least of concern, and with every new law, it will get harder for the sex offender to hided, Ohio is passing the new lisence plate law, its like the law we have for people who are convited  DUI.  Their plates are green, I beleive sex offenders  will be red, not 100% on color, but the tags are coming. just another way we can keep up with them,

and as for the peeing and the mooners, I think it not the law but a bad procutor over stepping the bound of the law. and the people should vote him out of office.

If they put special license plates on RSOs cars, put big billboards up in every neighborhood telling where the RSO lives, made them wear colored hats and clothes saying Im a RSO, put GPS systems on them all, house them together, housed them separately, housed them in deserts, caves, in the middle of the ocean and enacted every idea these stone throwers suggest, they still wouldnt be satisfied. Many of these people are unhappy inside and choose to run with this RSO issue to vent their anger at the cost of innocent lives like the ones you mentioned; the kids of the RSO's who face criticism at school and sometimes by the teacher. We heard of a girl whos father was in jail for murder and the teacher let the whole class know about it while she was there. And then of course the other kids have to put their two cents worth in. Even as some SOs are unteachable, so are some non ROs who consistently judge and condemn others not caring who they hurt.

Thank you for your kind words.  Oh, as for your advice...I got a hold of my daughter's phone number from a co-worker of hers before she had any children...also, the lady gave me her address.  This was 6 years ago.  Letters...oh, boy, could have made a book...the "I love yous"  "I'm dying without you"..".please lets just meet for coffee"...ignored them all.  Then, I heard of the first baby.  So, one morning, feeling brave, I called..got the machine with HER voice...and literally begged her to call me, write to me, e-mail me...and the worst..on the machine, she had the little girl say bye-bye...I think the child was about 18 months then..that one is 5 now, the younger is 2...and I called 5 more times...ignored.  So, I went back to writing...ignored.  Finally, my own therapist told me it was time to stop.  It was keeping me down, and I really was a mess.

So, I did contact a lawyer for visitation rights as a grand parent.  He told me that without his having a recorded conviction, my grounds to see the girls were slim to none.  I am not in their best interest, so he would not take the case...said it would be futile, as when Mom and Dad say "NO" in New York Family Court, it is NO!  Especially in a family so estranged, as it would cause stress to the family unit...love it!  Had he been convicted, or in the Registry, I could have seen them, as his word would not count, and my daughter would not look so wonderful going against her brother and sister, especially since she is a teacher!

Some genious suggested that the kids sue him in Civil Court...and they have so much paper work, they'd be apt to prevail.  If THAT is not crazy...make it about money...I don't know what is.  Also a brilliant way to further push her away, so we nixed that fast!

Boy, do I love our laws.  I obeyed them.  I thought that if you did so, the laws would back you up.  Minus the evidence, plus the 5 year statute of limitations silencing my daughter's experiences, the case was too weak..so it was "Sorry, and good luck in your healing". 

I hope that the man therapist was NOT a mistake.  I was told then it would be better to allow them to establish trust with a man...at 10 and 12 so they would not see all men as their charming brother-in-law.  I'm very sorry you therapy was not so great.  Sometimes I wonder if we put TOO much faith into it.  I'm not negating that it is a tool, but there has to be more...like a tremendous amount of support and talking at home.  I did that...but time will tell.  I do worry about them.  My son has never fully recovered from HER not believing him, as she was much older, he worshipped his big sister...and she him...until...then, it was all gone.

Oh, the girls have one grandma...his mother!  This is the woman who lived her life through the entire courtship, engagement and wedding, as detatched as she could be...a merry widow going out all of the time, while I played Donna Reed to her son, as if he were my own.  Hope she's a better grandma than she was a mother...Also hope that the seed planted has everyone's eyes on him. 

I'm even thinking of driving to her house and waiting for her to come out, just say "hello", and see if she responds.  I'll probably get arrested for stalking with New York laws.  THAT would be the final straw, but it's so nutty in this big City, nothing makes any sense.  Hope you do better...it must have been very hard to handle your mother's reaction.  That would have killed me, were I to have been in your position.  So sad!