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Topic : 03/10 Underage Marriage

Number of Replies: 279
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Created on : Friday, March 07, 2008, 11:28:18 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
A teen marriage, accusations of sexual abuse, maternal abandonment – you name it, this family drama has it all. Leslie says she didn’t give permission for her 16-year-old daughter, Corina, to marry Ryan, 18, and now wants the union annulled. Corina says she wants her mother to back off and stay out of her life because she was abandoned, and her mother doesn’t get a vote. She says her mother is retaliating against her because she accused her stepfather, Chris, of molesting her two years ago. Leslie says Corina has a history of lying, and she finds it hard to believe her daughter was sexually abused. Who’s telling the truth? Can this mother-daughter relationship be repaired, and should Corina end her marriage? Tell us what you think!

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March 8, 2008, 5:56 pm CST

Poor Daughter and Bad Mother

The daughter did what she had to survive.  Who else was there to help her?  Not her bio father or bio Mother!   Both have their brains and concerns elsewhere, not for the welfare of the daughter.  I would give the daughter and husband all the help they can get, because daughter cannot go back to her Mother , as her Mother wants her husband no matter what he has done.  So, let her have him and her daughter have her new husband.  They will need lots of prayers to stay together, but it is their best chance to survive in a safe  place.     Mother needs to back off and stay away and out of daughters business, her hudsband is  her priority  not  her daughter!!!  Get the point????

 

I will have them in my prayers!

 
March 8, 2008, 6:58 pm CST

Why does my 'Mother' hate me???

Quote From: shawnylou

1. I believe she was emotionally abandoned

2. I believe her mother would pick her male partner over her own daughter

3. I believe that step-father is as guilty as the sunrises and sets

4. He would be out of that house whether or not she comes back , gets an annulment  or decides mom was right about the  mistake of her marriage, STEP Daddy would be long gone.

5. there would be a lie detector test done on the step-father by the F.B.I or the state patrol only! No other organization.

6. I would not allow a lie detector to be done on the daughter... enough, I suspect the mother to be an un-kind woman.

7. It is too late for an annulment, the girl is married to someone who is only 2 years her  senior. There should be counseling to keep them together and keep them whole.

8. Her mother would get counseling as to why she protects her "male mate" over her own daughter and  is insistent on calling her a liar . No matter what you do not NOT ever take the side of the perp.

9. She needs to get help.. THE MOTHER!

She needs to get help.. THE MOTHER! ..............I think Iwill  send this to 'MY MOTHER'..... I will use t he term 'mother' very loosley...LOL. Seriously......this person should NEVER of had me.  I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!....................'I HATE YOU[mom]'......there..I feel better now...LOL!!!!

My name is Carmen. I am just 30 , living inCanada. I work as an RN in a Critical Care/Trauma setting.

Talk to [you] later

Take Care,
Carmen

 
March 9, 2008, 8:03 am CDT

MISS AMERICA BY DAY - CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

Marilyn Van Derbur, a native of Colorado, is one of four daughters of a prominent Denver businessman who is now deceased. Her father was on numerous boards and committees, was honored with buildings named for him, and was president of "all the college fraternities in America." Both parents were active volunteers, donating time and money to culture and civic organizations.

 

Marilyn's earliest memories of her father are of him entering her bed after dark. What came next was repressed for decades until Marilyn realized that her father had committed incest from the time she was five until eighteen, an estimated six hundred times.  All the while, her mother knew. Marilyn tells about her split between the "night child" victim in contrast to the "day child" over-achiever.  Anyone reading her story might experience envy for all the fame and fortune that seemed to come to her so easily and effortlessly.

 

 

Miss America By Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love by Marilyn Van Derbur

 

Switching Time:  A Doctor's Story of Treating A Woman with 17 Personalities by Richard Baer

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

  

Marilyn's mother would often state that she had the "perfect marriage" and Marilyn was told that she was "blessed by being born into a perfect family." Marilyn was crowned Miss America while she was attending the University of Colorado in 1958. 

 

Marilyn suffered from physical symptoms including insomnia, tics, anxiety, and panic attacks. When her body and mind rebelled against the constant travel, she experienced full body paralysis, yet doctors found no organic cause. What else might Marilyn be rebelling against? To find the answers she had to search her mind and spirit.  The physical symptoms she had endured were a manifestation of the connection between child sexual abuse and adult ailments. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
March 10, 2008, 7:35 am CDT

A terrible mistake

I think this couple has made the worse mistake any teenager male/female would ever do in there lives she has no right to marry a 16 year old boy while in high school and she knows that I'm going through the same situation with my 19 year niece who got pregnant with a 16 year old boy and and ihave a feeling that this relationship is over because of what has happened and abanding the daugher isn't going to help a family is supposed help each other out in a crisislike this one make sure the the relationshhip is restored

renewed and rekinled I know it was a terrible mistake,but learn from your and get away from each other in Ohio I don't know if illegal for a young couple to get married, but if it was you they will throw the book at you tell you and tell you to go back to school go to college get a job then get married you are not ready to get to

get married heed my advice and listen to Dr.Phil don't fall into the trap like my niece did.

 
March 10, 2008, 7:37 am CDT

A terrible mistake

I think this couple has made the worse mistake any teenager male/female would ever do in there lives she has no right to marry a 16 year old boy while in high school and she knows that I'm going through the same situation with my 19 year niece who got pregnant with a 16 year old boy and and ihave a feeling that this relationship is over because of what has happened and abanding the daugher isn't going to help a family is supposed help each other out in a crisislike this one make sure the the relationshhip is restored

renewed and rekinled I know it was a terrible mistake,but learn from your and get away from each other in Ohio I don't know if illegal for a young couple to get married, but if it was you they will throw the book at you tell you and tell you to go back to school go to college get a job then get married you are not ready to get to

get married heed my advice and listen to Dr.Phil don't fall into the trap like my niece did.

 
March 10, 2008, 8:12 am CDT

Who Was Lying?

I was watching this episode but never found out the results of the polygraph test. When were we supposed to hear them?  Did I miss something?
 
March 10, 2008, 8:22 am CDT

Who Was Lying?

I was watching this episode but never found out the results of the polygraph test. When were we supposed to hear them?  Did I miss something?
 
March 10, 2008, 8:25 am CDT

Mom is immature...

I can't even get over the fact that this mother acts more childish than the daughter. I also can't believe that the mom would take her husband's side over her daughters. I don't believe this girl is lying. She is willing to take the lie detector but stepdad isn't. Isn't that an omission of guilt on the step dad's part? I have 4 daughters & can't believe the mother would act this way.
 
March 10, 2008, 9:02 am CDT

Too Much Drama!

Marriage in the BEST of circumstances is tough....but, add onto that their too young ages,  no parental support, no education, husband with no job....and not much chance of getting one good enough to support the two of them any time soon...if ever...infidelity already on the 16 year old's part, separating four times already, and the unwillingness to consider counseling (because, hey, when you are 16 & 18 you already know it ALL),......well, the chance of success is pretty much the same as a snowball's chance in hell! The only positive thing is that these two do not have any babies...and, if they have even a tiny bit of common sense, they will make darn sure they don't unless and until there is financial and emotional security......WAY down the road!

 

The mother, Leslie is a piece of work, as is the stepfather. I don't know if he molested this girl or not, but what I do know is that he's an ex-con and there's NO way that stupid woman should have allowed him in her home with her children...especially a young daughter!

 

Your children MUST come first before your own desires.

 

WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/  Go to January for the artitles "Sex And The Single Mom", and "Baby, Think It Over",  February for "Before You Say I Do", and "But I Love Him".

 
March 10, 2008, 9:06 am CDT

I feel it is too late to end the marriage

When this child formed the marital relationship, she was not under the rules of her parental home.  Anything that would interfere in this child's life at this point, I believe will only make the situation worse for it seems that she does love Ryan.

 

I also am wondering if Mom wants the marriage annuled because she feels that her daughter has somehow tainted her marriage, so she is wanting to do a pay back kind of thing?  I don't know for sure, being this child will be living with the grandmother instead of the mother...why does the mother want to keep control a going when the control is in the grandmother's hands if this child is given an annulment...doesn't make sense to me...really.

 

I believe the step father not wanting to take a polygraph test is a way of admitting that something did transpire...if not, then why not go for it to end the drama or does he like the drama to continue?

 

Mother's that chose the victimizer over the child, generally don't fair well...in bridging the gap between mother and daughter.

 

Sixteen years old is a tough time for any kid a wanting to deal with the real world.  I got married at 18 years of age and I know that I was too young to take that big step...I did hang in there until my second child was born and I saw that our relationship wasn't getting better it was a getting worse.

 

I wish that I could have had someone like Dr. Phil a helping me out...perhaps I would have chose to stay at home amidst the chaos and drama of having two parents both physical yet not accountable being they both were alcoholics at the time and my dad was when out of it, a trying to corner me for sexual favors...

 

I wish more for this beautiful child...yet it is her wish and she already has cracked that book cover and now what she does with her life is her and Ryan's concern and not the mother's problem any longer...

 

I too placed my children at 14 and 16 with their real dad, for I believed at that time that sons needed to know their dad and their dad them...being I had raised them and he wasn't given the chance due to our marriage ending so abruptly due to him having a need to experience the dating world that he had never known being he got married at 19 to me, just having turned 18 years of age.

 

I also allowed my sons to live with their dad, because their dad was always a interfering in how I and their step father was a raising them...we could never do anything right and our sons were always a coming back from dad's with orders on how to do a better job than what I was a doing...so I gave him his chance.

 

Do i regret it today?  Sometimes...for dad was an alcoholic as well and I believe that my sons didn't advance much from the stay with dad...yet I will have to take that up with God when I return Home.

 

Those are my thoughts.

May You All Be Blessed

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

 
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