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Topic : 03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

Number of Replies: 392
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Created on : Friday, March 07, 2008, 11:34:24 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Over 50 percent of men and only 19 percent of women say they think about it several times a day. On the average, you do it almost 100 times a year. No, you don’t have a dirty mind – the topic is SEX! With the help of renowned OB/GYN Lisa Masterson, Dr. Phil tackles sex issues, and you might be surprised at how much you can relate! First up, Jason says his wife, Sylvia, has two personalities: Sylvia the 6th grade school teacher and Sylvia the sex maniac. Can the couple find a happy medium with what goes on in their bedroom? Then, Robin and Tom have been engaged for four years but haven’t set a wedding date. Tom says there’s something his betrothed won’t do that’s keeping him from saying, "I do." Can Dr. Masterson help Robin rescue her relationship? Next, statistics show that nearly 10 percent of women never have an orgasm through sexual activity. Becki says she had her first -- and last -- in 1998. Could her problem be biological? Be there when she hears her test results after a full examination. And, meet a couple who says they have sex up to six times a day. Is there such a thing as too much? Plus, Dr. Masterson answers your most embarrassing questions about sex. Join the discussion.

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March 8, 2008, 6:49 am CST

No thing as too much sex?

 I don't believe there is such a thing as too much sex as long as both parties have mutual feelings over the times a day or week to have sex. I haven't been with many partners in my life but they have all been different to the degree of how many times a week they wanted it. I may be somewhat different from some women as I was okay when it wasn't that often and am absolutely fine with my partner now who wants it every day and even more than once a day if possible.
Whatever works for your relationship as long as both agree is fine. It's when one wants it many times and the other only wants it rarely that problems begin.
I do wonder if the number of women who don't have orgasms is higher than stated at 10% as I have met many women who have admitted they have never had an orgasm? I am thankful that hasn't been my problem but I do know that unless I am truly in love with the other person, I for some reason can only have a real orgasm then. The emotion of love itself is a very important component to how often I want sex, how I feel about sex with my partner, and how free I am willing to be.
 
March 8, 2008, 9:05 am CST

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

 This looks like a fun show to watch, and I like hearing from Dr. Masterson.
I think sex is different for each couple, hell for each individual, and it changes over the years if you are married, either the adventure or frequency, but I think its important that BOTH partners have to be okay with how much and when.
I also think that a marriage or relationship should NOT be based soley on sex, that could just set people up for disaster, whether their expectations aren't being met, or they may find they just don't like it (that's been known to happen).  You can love someone without being sexually involved, you NEED more to make any kind of commitment, consider your partner for whatevfer reason, CANNOT have sex, if that's all you've based your relationship on, then you're in trouble.
Of course you can have sex without love as well, and without commitment, just be sure to take all the precautions you can to prevent disease and unwanted pregnancy.

this board should be hopping pretty soon, seems the word SEX gets people hot and bothered , so to speak.
 
March 8, 2008, 9:14 am CST

Sexless Marriage

I am 55 and remarried in November of last year after being divorced for seven years, during which time I dated and was sexually active.  I knew my new husband from high school days and we reconnected when I moved back to my hometown and his wife had filed for divorce and moved to another city.  Our romance began in April of 2006.  I expected a normal sex life with him because we love each other very much.  However, I was shocked to find he is impotent.  We made a couple of attempts at intercours but, even though he said he had an orgasm, there was no semen.  He told me his doctor said there is such thing as a "dry" orgasm.  He also said the medication he takes for blood sugar, Metformin, prevents him from being able to take Viagra.   He visited his doctor and a urologist to have the issue checked out.  He claims there is nothing physically wrong with his body, it just doesn't respond as it should and the doctors can't do anything for him.  The subject was pretty much dropped.  Still, we love each other so much that we got married after being together for a year and a half.  Now I just feel sadness.  He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly.  But I am sad when I think that we can never physically express our love like normal couples do.  I miss the intimacy of making love, but I would never think of cheating on him.  Now I am not sure what to do.  I had a friend, my age, ask me if we necessarily needed anything more than love and companionship at our age.  Her point being that she saw nothing wrong with settling for a sexless relationship.  She lost her husband of 30 years to cancer just three years ago and hasn't really had the desire to date or move forward with her romantic life.  So I can understand how she might feel that I have all I need in a relationship.  I am no longer physically attracted to him and I feel guilty for that even though it wouldn't help if I was still attracted to him.  I'm not sure what will eventually happen to our relationship.  I have found, from past experience, that you may have good intentions in the beginning of making things work, but problems eventually wear on you.  Now what?
 
March 8, 2008, 9:27 am CST

No sex

In our marriage the problem is that I feel like having sex, often, and my husband says he does,  but, we haven't  had sex for four years. We have been married for over twenty-five years and we have had some wonderful intimate moments in those twenty-five years. The problem that we have is when we try,  nothing happens, for him. I have tried many things and it just doesn't happen. I can't turn him on. This problem has been throughout all of our marriage. I love my husband, and I want sex to be a part of our marriage. Even with the problem that we have we have stayed together and are faithful to each other. We would like to know how we can overcome this and bring the closeness and initmate moments, that we both want, into our marriage.

 
March 8, 2008, 9:35 am CST

Doctor Phil Show

About Doctor Let's Phil Sex Talk. What sex? What are you talking about? Everyone know about sex and------

marriage anyway. See you on Wednesday March 12th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------

 
March 8, 2008, 9:40 am CST

Congrats

Quote From: lifepath12

 I don't believe there is such a thing as too much sex as long as both parties have mutual feelings over the times a day or week to have sex. I haven't been with many partners in my life but they have all been different to the degree of how many times a week they wanted it. I may be somewhat different from some women as I was okay when it wasn't that often and am absolutely fine with my partner now who wants it every day and even more than once a day if possible.
Whatever works for your relationship as long as both agree is fine. It's when one wants it many times and the other only wants it rarely that problems begin.
I do wonder if the number of women who don't have orgasms is higher than stated at 10% as I have met many women who have admitted they have never had an orgasm? I am thankful that hasn't been my problem but I do know that unless I am truly in love with the other person, I for some reason can only have a real orgasm then. The emotion of love itself is a very important component to how often I want sex, how I feel about sex with my partner, and how free I am willing to be.
I congratulate you for being the type of woman most men dream of. I have been married 34 yrs to a woman that does not desire nor did she ever desire sex. For the last 25 yrs we average having sex 6 times a year. Yes I said 6 times a year. That is an average. Last year was only 4 times and so far this year is only once. I have tried everything suggested by therapists, psychologist, and/or pschiatrists with no better results. I have had many a person say why do I stay with her? My answer is always "I married her for better of worse" not until it got worse or only for the better.
 
March 8, 2008, 10:48 am CST

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

Quote From: lifepath12

 I don't believe there is such a thing as too much sex as long as both parties have mutual feelings over the times a day or week to have sex. I haven't been with many partners in my life but they have all been different to the degree of how many times a week they wanted it. I may be somewhat different from some women as I was okay when it wasn't that often and am absolutely fine with my partner now who wants it every day and even more than once a day if possible.
Whatever works for your relationship as long as both agree is fine. It's when one wants it many times and the other only wants it rarely that problems begin.
I do wonder if the number of women who don't have orgasms is higher than stated at 10% as I have met many women who have admitted they have never had an orgasm? I am thankful that hasn't been my problem but I do know that unless I am truly in love with the other person, I for some reason can only have a real orgasm then. The emotion of love itself is a very important component to how often I want sex, how I feel about sex with my partner, and how free I am willing to be.
If this "sexual activity" is sexual intercourse, especially man-on-top, without suffient foreplay, the percentage would be closer to 70. Only about 30 % of women have orgasms via intercourse. There just isn't enough clitoral stimulation. Stimulation of the G-spot can produce a different kind of argasm. But, it can take 10 to 15 minutes of hard thrusting.
 
March 8, 2008, 11:18 am CST

Robin and TOm

Hey Robin? dump him. If he doesn't love you, the person, and is not willing to marry you by now.. get out! The doctor doesn't need to fix Robin so Tom is happy. This is ridiculous. Tom needs to learn about love. Why should she march to his drummer? I hope good things for Robin with another man!!!
 
March 8, 2008, 12:25 pm CST

unexpected

My husband is in great physical shape, no health problems, does not take any medications, doesn't smoke, drinks occasionally.   HIs main problem is that he rarely shows emotion and doesn''t like to talk about anything personal or emotion ladened.  He is 46 years old and I am 42.  It seems that our sex life was fine prior to him turning 40 and then it started to go downhill. What I mean is that he doesn't seem to be in the mood as much.  We have been together for 8 years.  I am lucky if we have sex monthly.  I have attempted to initiate it, but he puts me off, saying he doesn't necessarily like me coming on too strong. He is involved with playing computer games and plays on the pc from the time he gets home from work until the time he goes to bed with a short pause to eat dinner and walk the dogs with me for about 30 minutes.  I try to talk to him about it and he says he doesn't want to discuss it and that I just expect too much out of him.  He thinks it is age related.  I try to tell him that it isn't age related that it would possibly be biologically related but the number of years old you are related to low libido is a myth.  What can/should I do to encourage more sex in our relationship?  I would like to have sex at least once a week.  Sometimes he will initiate sex when he knows I am tired and then will tell me I dont' get enough sex because I always say no...which is NOT the case.  I've even gotten so crazy as to mark the dates on my calendar of when we have sex to prove to him that it is a long time between episodes.. 

 
March 8, 2008, 1:09 pm CST

Another sex show?

 

Another sex show already?  I'm glad it's dealing with adults.  I always like hearing from Masterson. she's a pretty good source.

 

In addition to  sexual compatibility, there might be a physical or psychological component in play.  Hypoactive sexual desire disorder or inhibited SDD-

 

"Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) refers to a low level of sexual interest resulting in a failure to initiate or respond to sexual intimacy [...]

A diagnosis of hypoactive sexual desire disorder refers to a persistent or recurring lack of desire or an absence of sexual fantasies"

 

http://psychologytoday.com/conditions/sexdesire.html

 

Also:

 

"Physical illnesses and some medications may also contribute to ISD, particularly when they produce fatigue, pain, or general feelings of malaise. Hormone deficiencies may occasionally be implicated. Psychological conditions such as depression and excessive stress may inhibit sexual interest.

 

Commonly overlooked factors include insomnia or inadequate amounts of sleep, resulting in fatigue. ISD may also be associated with other sexual dysfunctions, and sometimes may be caused by them. For example, the woman who is unable to have orgasm or has pain with intercourse, or the man who has erection problems (impotence) or retarded ejaculation, may lose interest in sex because it is commonly associated with failure or is not very pleasurable."

 

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/shared/health/adam/womenscenter/1/001952.htm

 

It's difficult to put a definition on "too much sex", as there are people who just have a really high libido and how high is "too high"?  I can't find an exact amount that is too much- it depends on the situation and that person's partner's sex drive and compatibility.

 

 

 

 
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