Topic : 03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, March 14, 2008, 02:35:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you stuck in an emotional, marital or financial rut? Dr. Phil has advice for reshaping your future, and he’s bringing reinforcements! Joining him is Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of one of the fastest-growing mega-churches in the country and author of Reposition Yourself. First up, Dr. Phil and Bishop Jakes tackle a shocking story that made headlines. Tongues wagged when New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned over a sex scandal. Should his wife, Silda, have stood by his side? Robin weighs in with a woman’s perspective. And, Rachelle says her husband, Rob, was unjustly fired from his job as a police officer more than eight years ago, and the incident was highly publicized. Rob says his life was turned upside down and admits he hasn't been much of a father or husband since the firing. His four children say they want their "vacation dad" to be their full-time dad. What's really at the root of Rob's pain, and what will it take for him to return to being the man Rachelle married? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.




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March 18, 2008, 11:03 am PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

I feel deeply for Silda and her daughters.  I was married for 32 yrs. to a retired cop when I discovered he had been cheating on me for 8 yrs.! We were on vacation, visiting our daughter and family in Hawaii when I discovered it. I was filled w/so much anger and pain and it was all I could do to fly back home w/him.  I immediately kicked him out, only to try to work it out w/him a month later.  What was I thinking?!!!  That's it - when your life is literally turned upside down, you can't think straight.  I never thought I would stand by my man and here I was trying to make up excuses for his behavior.  Well, finally I realized he was manipulating me once again and I needed to take a stand. I had loved him but would never feel the same about him again.  I couldn't live with what he did, the lies he told to me and his family to be with her, and the fact that he knew she would always take him back.  I lost a lot financially but I'm ahead in so many other ways.  My divorce was final last June and I'm so thankful I survived and had the strength to finally say good-bye to the jerk and mean it. 

 

Silda, you will get through this, but there will be so many stages and much pain in the process.  You will experience denial, anger, depression and finally acceptance.  You will become stronger each day but plan to experience many setbacks along the way. You'll feel it would have been easier to deal with his death than to experience the humiliation and pain his "mistake" has caused you and your daughters.  Don't feel bad about standing beside him.  I'm sure you were in such a state of shock and you were easily manipulated.  Whatever you choose to do is your decision.  I only know what was right for me and standing beside a man who emotionally abused me b/c of his self-centered and self-distructive personality was not what I wanted to do.  I wanted  my daughters and future female descendents to see that first and foremost a  woman should have respect  for herself. 

 

P.S.  - Hillary, I may have voted for you if you could have told Bill to hit the road but b/c of your decision to "stand by your man" I have no respect for you whatsoever! 

 
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March 18, 2008, 11:11 am PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

While there's nothing wrong with a Christian commenting on a Jewish person's behavior, I still would have liked hearing from a leader of Spitzer's faith and his take on what happened.  I think it would have been apt to the situation, and maybe have given better insight seeing as how he wasn't Christian.  The whole hour wasn't devoted to the Spitzer story.  Instead, here's this leader of a mega-church (which are popular for a while, going through fad phases and manufacturing faith, you can tell, I don't care for them) chiming in, and he provides only one spiritual point of view.

 

 

I wonder if Sptizer even practices Judaism. But, if Dr Phil wanted a representative of that faith, Dr Laura comes to mind. Or, Rabbi Kuchner, author of "When Bad Things Happen to Good People."
 
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March 18, 2008, 11:27 am PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: firstamom

Maybe what she is modeling to her daughters is not a weakness... maybe she's showing her daugthers that  you stand by your vows and that a marriage is worth fighting for?  How do you know the level of self respect that she has?  I think that she shows a lot of confidence in standing up there with her husband... we know that she's there and not hiding under her covers crying her eyes out. 

 

Leaving is not always the answer... sometimes it takes more strength to stay.

A marriage in name only?
 
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confused
March 18, 2008, 12:20 pm PDT

Bishop T.D. Jakes

I have nothing against Bishop T.D. Jakes, but confused why Dr. Phil has him on the show so often lately.  I would of much rather heard more of Dr. Phil's views on this topic not the Bishop's - That's why I watch the Dr. Phil Show - anyone agree??

 
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March 18, 2008, 12:43 pm PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kroon7313

I have nothing against Bishop T.D. Jakes, but confused why Dr. Phil has him on the show so often lately.  I would of much rather heard more of Dr. Phil's views on this topic not the Bishop's - That's why I watch the Dr. Phil Show - anyone agree??

This trend, bringing in celebrities, began two years into the show. Which is why I didn't watch most of the third and fourth seasons. Of course, TD Jakes is in such a different league than Kelsey Grammer,  that I do watch him. And, his views seem closely in line with Dr Phil's.
 

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March 18, 2008, 12:47 pm PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: ramair

I wonder if Sptizer even practices Judaism. But, if Dr Phil wanted a representative of that faith, Dr Laura comes to mind. Or, Rabbi Kuchner, author of "When Bad Things Happen to Good People."
The Today show had a panel of 3 "experts" on last week about this, Dr Laura being one of them. Dr Laura pretty much said that if these men were getting attention from their wives at home they wouldn't stray. She said that she had seen more than one good man cast aside by his wife. I thought Meredith Viera and the other 2 would fall off their chairs. I would hope DrPhil would think twice before having Dr Laura on his show.
 
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March 18, 2008, 1:10 pm PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: cissie88

The Today show had a panel of 3 "experts" on last week about this, Dr Laura being one of them. Dr Laura pretty much said that if these men were getting attention from their wives at home they wouldn't stray. She said that she had seen more than one good man cast aside by his wife. I thought Meredith Viera and the other 2 would fall off their chairs. I would hope DrPhil would think twice before having Dr Laura on his show.
I only suggested her because she is so devoutly Jewish. In her books, she spells "God" this way "G-d." And, I doubt she would see any justification for getting involved with prostitutes. Especially to the tune of $80,000.
 
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hopeful
March 18, 2008, 3:19 pm PDT

recovering from infedility

I think that a relationship can recover from infedlity, but only if it's not someone in the public eye and is only between a man and a wife. My marriage recoved from just that and we are happier than ever and will celebrate 40 years of marriage in Dec. I believe that he was going though a "change of live" just like a woman does. He was getting support and lots of love from home and still have no idea why he did it. I don't ask and I NEVER bring it up in an argument. The only real pain it caused me was that I was in the hospital, having surgery, and my spouse took our 2 sons to her home for supper. That is how I knew fro definite, though I was already suspecious. It happened 25 years ago and I wanted my marriage to work. Our sons, unfortunately, never forgave him so he is the one that has to deal with that.
 
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chillin'
March 18, 2008, 3:45 pm PDT

To practice, or not to practice....

Quote From: ramair

I wonder if Sptizer even practices Judaism. But, if Dr Phil wanted a representative of that faith, Dr Laura comes to mind. Or, Rabbi Kuchner, author of "When Bad Things Happen to Good People."

 

 I read somewhere that Spitzer is non-practicing (Judaism), but I think he shows up to Temple from time to time (I saw a pic of him with a Rabbi, but I think it's more of a cultural thing).  My cousin is Jewish, but practices Christianity, for example.

 

 

 
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March 18, 2008, 4:00 pm PDT

THANK-YOU

Quote From: planeman

I read your posting about being in a rut and I know saying Happy Birthday, right now probably doesnt help much yet, however, if you start right here (ON THE INTERNET) you can search for all kinds of grants. You should be careful about paying someone to give you a listing of grants, though there are some programs that charge a small fee for the listings and they are legitimate organizations. If you just type the word Grants in Google you will get a bunch of replies. I would start with the SBA especially if there are any business type things you may want to try. Every state has a Small Business Administration, and I know in New York we also have SCORE.  These are mostly retired professionals who want to help. Generally they will be working with people in setting up a Business Plan, helping you decide what may be the best suited steps for you to take and even what you are best suited to do.

 

Also, as you start going through the different grants out there, you may find that there is grant that is for something other than what you were originally looking for, however, it may provide you with funds to buy a home (Any Kind) and free up other money for you to fix the car.  My point is dont just look at grants that are to fix your car, and buy a mobile home. You may just find something that gets you excited again. The library should have some books on government grants as well.

 

Colleges will also have someone who is familiar with grants, and yes other than just for school. I am sure your local community college will have a counselor who would be happy to meet with you and will be able to point you ion the right direction. Most college librarys will have books or even old Microfiche with grants and nowadays grant searching help on the internet. If you call them and set up an appointment especially a community college, they will help you. You can as last resort merely tell them you may also be interested in taking a class or 2 and then they will absolutely help you. You may even find that a class or two may help get you out of the rut. And dont be embarrassed about school at 50. Night and weekend courses are filled with people our age.

 

Speaking of schools, check with local automotive schools. They may offer to help fix your car. Meet with the teacher, and discuss what you need. Again, I do not know what state you live in, so its hard to be specific, but check technical schools and colleges with an automotive technology program and see if they will help. Dont be surprised if they will. I also dont know what you do or what you like so it is also hard to be specific about certain things.

 

Regarding your original question, just remember that I mentioned that Google will give you several hits just by searching the word grant, burt dont stop there, start going deeper and de3eper into the web with your searches.

 

I hope this helped a little and remember 50 today really is like 35 , 25 years ago! I only get on this site when I come in from work, and usually while watching the show, however I put the show on DVR and then watch it at 7:00. Feel free to stay in touch through t his site and let me know how you progressing.

 

  I just turned 51 and live in ca, I am disabled and on SSI sence 1986. I have

 no one close to me, so thank-you for the comments.

 

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