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Topic : 03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, March 14, 2008, 02:35:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you stuck in an emotional, marital or financial rut? Dr. Phil has advice for reshaping your future, and he’s bringing reinforcements! Joining him is Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of one of the fastest-growing mega-churches in the country and author of Reposition Yourself. First up, Dr. Phil and Bishop Jakes tackle a shocking story that made headlines. Tongues wagged when New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned over a sex scandal. Should his wife, Silda, have stood by his side? Robin weighs in with a woman’s perspective. And, Rachelle says her husband, Rob, was unjustly fired from his job as a police officer more than eight years ago, and the incident was highly publicized. Rob says his life was turned upside down and admits he hasn't been much of a father or husband since the firing. His four children say they want their "vacation dad" to be their full-time dad. What's really at the root of Rob's pain, and what will it take for him to return to being the man Rachelle married? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


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March 16, 2008, 3:37 am CDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

The emotional death of depression.  As I tell myself what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, To each battle I struggled with  I always had the ability to pick myself up, dust myself off & walk away. Till now, I have panic disorder sense my early teen's & tolerated the symptoms till I needed a doctor, always pushing myself to overcome & just deal with what I had to do, I knew I was at the limit standing on the ledge as I looked behind me at all the factors that keeps pushing me closer to the edge & felt as though I was going to snap, get angry blow up, yell, cool off & go again, it didn't happen that way in November 2007 I had a mental breakdown, & was forced to come to terms with ALL my diorders ocd, phobia. I accepted this & gave my mind a well deserved vacation. It was such a wonderful feeling not to have all these overwhelming things & thoughts pulling me down, though I am still frightened to leave home, I was doing ok.one on of my re-checks my dr says maybe I should talk to someone, Pills & talking to someone is just a bandaid to me & besides I can do this alone, but he made me think, I didn't realize I was so  depressed. The one dream I ever had that was causing my depression was untouchable I lost hope & became it just to painful, so I banished it from my thoughts, picked myself up & walked away. Now here it is again disturbing me, & still untouchable. Having  no hope in my would is a very lonely place & yet at the same time I dare not to hope, it just hurts to much. Now as i walk the hollow walls of my mind, ever so gently not to push myself over the edge again, I realize that step by step there is lots of work to be done with my disorders, & now  to face the demons of my depression I know I have to do in order to maintain a healthy state of mind. I don't know the way to escape the  these chains that bind me, I can not risk the possibility of another breakdown, My family is all I have ever had, & the reason for my reaching out to you for advice, for the true path of accepting the things you can not change, and a solution to happyness & the peace of mind that for once in my life would love to experience.    
 
March 16, 2008, 7:32 am CDT

Stand by your man???? doot doo doo da

I seem to remember Mrs. Clinton going berserk on Tammy Wynette for making the song. Stand by your man. shortly after that tirade. she stood meekly beside Bill as he confessed that he had indeed had sexual relations with that woman. I think instead of New Yorks governors wife standing by him, she should have had an old iron skillet in her hand and when the cameras started clicking she should fried his hot dog, right their for the nation to see. I would vote for her to be president if she would have done it. its time we start standing up and not take prisoners when it comes to how we let men treat us.

it is terribly hard to accept that someone you love humiliates you when they take another lover, but, to have it aired on national television must be devastating. I hope that she finds the strength  to move on. Clearly, he wasn't thinking of his wife and children and what this would do to them. I hope his doggy shrivels up and not even air jordan can get it up. it would serve him right.

 
March 16, 2008, 8:58 am CDT

PROMISCUITY AND REPEATED INFIDELITY - MALE AND FEMALE

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into personality types most capable of repeated infidelity are:

 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why Is It Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin MAYBE The Professional Bachelors Dating Guide:  How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho by Dr Brett Tate

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen AND Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, and fulfilling life.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
March 16, 2008, 9:05 am CDT

Silda's Stance

I truly believe the ONLY reason WHY Silda "stood by" (in actuality, she was standing behind him) Gov. Spitzer during these public addresses was the advice to do so from her lawyers OR his publicist.  She looked totally haggard; like she'd been to Hell and back, and no doubt must have been/is under sedation to help her emotionally cope with this trauma...wouldn't she have to be?  Again, my heart goes out to her and their three daughters.

 

OXO
Lucy

 
March 16, 2008, 9:12 am CDT

WhatWhatWhat???

Quote From: jklanier

Stand by your man may have been a good song title, but having been that woman not once but twice now, I can tell you it's not good advice. The Bible tells us this is the only REAL excuse for a legal divorce for a woman!! I speak from my own heart when I say that NO woman deserves this treatment nor the embaracement attached to it!! I say this because I caught my husband just before he strayed & let the woman know via email to stay away from him, it worked. Now she informs me when he emails her. We women really are smarter. If a man tries it a second time he deserves whatever the judge decides he gets.

You say that this "other woman" informs you whenever your husband Emails her and you're STILL with him???  How much longer/what's it gonna take for you to WAKE UP to realization???

 

OXO
Lucy

 
March 16, 2008, 10:47 am CDT

Shameful PR

Quote From: lcb81860

I truly believe the ONLY reason WHY Silda "stood by" (in actuality, she was standing behind him) Gov. Spitzer during these public addresses was the advice to do so from her lawyers OR his publicist.  She looked totally haggard; like she'd been to Hell and back, and no doubt must have been/is under sedation to help her emotionally cope with this trauma...wouldn't she have to be?  Again, my heart goes out to her and their three daughters.

 

OXO
Lucy

Comparing the way Silda was "beaming with pride" with her family in the photos of Former Gov. Spitzer's inauguration, with the humility, embarassment, and hurt on her motionless, sad body in the PR photos and interviews following the announcement of the affairs was devastating. It seemed as if she was coerced to be there for PR reasons, not for personal choice reasons. There was never a smile or nod of the head to anything Elliot said in his apology-type speech. Why couldn't she be afforded the decency of privacy and allow Elliot to face his own political destiny alone. Politics is politics. Personal problems should not be forced to be public.  I was totally embarrassed and humiliated for Silda. If Silda was present at the news tapings for PR reasons, shame on them.

 

 

 
March 16, 2008, 11:09 am CDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: lcb81860

I truly believe the ONLY reason WHY Silda "stood by" (in actuality, she was standing behind him) Gov. Spitzer during these public addresses was the advice to do so from her lawyers OR his publicist.  She looked totally haggard; like she'd been to Hell and back, and no doubt must have been/is under sedation to help her emotionally cope with this trauma...wouldn't she have to be?  Again, my heart goes out to her and their three daughters.

 

OXO
Lucy

I dunno about being under sedation, but I got that similar feeling watching the newsreels, that she was stunned and -- just -- numb. Right now, it may be the lawyers telling her to "stand there," "don't do anything life-changing until the cameras quit rolling, which they will do soon enough." It's bad enough for something like that to come to light if you are NOT the spouse of a public official; it must truly be hell on earth to have to deal with not only local, but national media.

 

I dare say any resolution that would involve legal action will wind up buried in the depths of the papers.

 

Prof

 

 

 
March 16, 2008, 11:33 am CDT

Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: saludevil

Of course Eliot Spitzer's wife stood by him.  She knows it was a hatchet job to get rid of him for opposing the corrupt buy-out for the banks and their illegal mortgage scandal.

 

Wake up people!!!  Our government is stealing us blind and they used Spitzer as a scapegoat.  The old "bait and switch" so you don't see what's really going on.  I am just totally amazed at the stupidity of the common citizen.  They fooled you once again!

 

Do some research before you go off on a government controlled wild goose chase.

Don't know the man yet, waiting to meet, but like the writer I quoted, I believe government has no business in private marriage contracts.  Frankly think religion has no place in them either because while God may have formulated the laws, He has allowed the lawyers to distort them and zealots to relegate them to the realm of nolo contendere.
 
March 16, 2008, 12:54 pm CDT

Some of you are going to really love me for this

Quote From: saludevil

Of course Eliot Spitzer's wife stood by him.  She knows it was a hatchet job to get rid of him for opposing the corrupt buy-out for the banks and their illegal mortgage scandal.

 

Wake up people!!!  Our government is stealing us blind and they used Spitzer as a scapegoat.  The old "bait and switch" so you don't see what's really going on.  I am just totally amazed at the stupidity of the common citizen.  They fooled you once again!

 

Do some research before you go off on a government controlled wild goose chase.

I wholeheartly agree with the person above.     The thought came into my mind several days ago.     People don't like to be "found out", in other words having their deeds come to light and the ones on Wall Street that committed all these bad mortgage practices are no exception.     Do you know what the word "practice" means.     It is closely associated with the word "method".    If I read some of the stuff correctly about Elliot Spitzer, he was very zealous for getting after the ones on Wall Street who were committing their follyous deeds and they did not like so they were looking for a weak spot in Spitzer to trap him and they did.     It is always in the nature of people who are in the wrong to do stuff like that.     We all have weak spots.     I think even T.D. Jakes might have a weak spot.     The thought came into my mind to Google the search terms "T.D. Jakes" and "prosperity gospel" together and somewhere it said "Results 1 - 10 of about 25,000 for "T.D. Jakes" "prosperity gospel".
 
March 16, 2008, 3:23 pm CDT

REPORT HARASSMENT AND ABUSE BY LAW-ENFORCEMENT

While most officers are hardworking professionals, far too many are downright abusive.  Knowing your rights is an important first line of defense against harassment and abuse by law-enforcement.  As an advocate for civil rights and police accountability, it is quite disturbing to know that such gross misconduct still comes easily to some officers.  To protect yourself and your constitutional rights, it is very important to know your rights and make smart choices in tough situations.  Some of my favorite resouces about reporting law enforcement abuse are: 

 

 

Submit a Law Enforcement Abuse Complaint Form

www.policeabuse.com

 

Just Say "NO" to Unwarranted Police Searches

www.FlexYourRights.org 

 

Justice and Science:  Trials and Triumphs of DNA Evidence by George Woody Clarke

 

 

The Police Complaint Center documents and investigates alleged incidents of police abuse.  The staff consists of students, researchers, attorneys, former police officers and licensed private investigators.  The organization believes that many police organizations have done a poor job of protecting the public from abusive officers.  Their primary service is assisting victims of police misconduct with reporting complaints to appropriate enforcement agencies.  They also investigate police and sheriffs deputies that are accused of abusive behaviors.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
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