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Topic : 03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, March 14, 2008, 02:35:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you stuck in an emotional, marital or financial rut? Dr. Phil has advice for reshaping your future, and he’s bringing reinforcements! Joining him is Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of one of the fastest-growing mega-churches in the country and author of Reposition Yourself. First up, Dr. Phil and Bishop Jakes tackle a shocking story that made headlines. Tongues wagged when New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned over a sex scandal. Should his wife, Silda, have stood by his side? Robin weighs in with a woman’s perspective. And, Rachelle says her husband, Rob, was unjustly fired from his job as a police officer more than eight years ago, and the incident was highly publicized. Rob says his life was turned upside down and admits he hasn't been much of a father or husband since the firing. His four children say they want their "vacation dad" to be their full-time dad. What's really at the root of Rob's pain, and what will it take for him to return to being the man Rachelle married? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



 
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March 17, 2008, 1:36 pm PDT

03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: ramair

It's the example his wife is setting for those three daughters. Is this what she wants her daughters to settle for? A mockery of a marriage to a man who would not only cheat? But, pay for it? She ought to model self respect. By leaving him.
if he didn't do it to begin with. then his daughters never would have had to live with it or see his example to begin with. ultimately it is his mistake DO NOT BLAME HER REACTION ON HIS THOUGHTLESS BEHAVIOR!
 
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joidevive
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March 17, 2008, 1:36 pm PDT

What about sexual-transmitted diseases and the emotional health of the ladies?

 I guess Spitzer will get whatever punishment his actions merit.  I can't help thinking about the girls.  As someone said on the show, no one even mentioned them.  How must they feel?  They are not toddlers.  They will get an earful about this, whereever they go.

Also, I hope Ms. Spitzer will get a battery of tests for sexually-transmitted diseases.  I assume high-priced hookers are screened for this, but one never knows.  They don't always manifest themselves right away. 

I hope someone is really giving her support and a shoulder to lean on.  Her husband seems like a very selfish, priviledged man who is only thinking about how all this scandal affects him.  What are lousy specimen of a man !
 
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sselner
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March 17, 2008, 1:43 pm PDT

Spitzer's treatment of wife in public

 The bishop saying we don't know what goes on in private, is correct.  But when we see the disrespect  and lack of true concern of his wife, and any other relational human being ,in public, it really is such a strong statement of his  inappropriate actions toward his wife and their relationship.  He absolutely does not deserve any respect or tolerance for himself and his actions.  When he can treat his wife in such a cavalier manner, the public will probably not give him or her a break.

She as well as someone like Hillary need to stand up and come forward , to if nothing else say something to other women.  We need to hear what they were REALLY thinking.  There are too many women, and maybe men, in the pulic that should be filled in.  Either standup and say relationship is important or maybe just the public personification is maybe more important than your relationship with spouse and family.  How sad if that is the case.  I am afraid as many of my friends, that the afore mentioned is the case.  The american people are swayed into believing the public image.
 
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wonderwomanvt
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March 17, 2008, 1:44 pm PDT

Mrs. Spitzer

When you're in shock after such a public revelation, you do what you have to do and should never make an instant decision that will affect one's life totally.

It is better to do what you have to do until you have time to make a rational, wise, and positive choice for yourself and one's children.

As for him, once a cheater always a cheater. His ego thought that he was smarter than all the other politicians who thought they too could get away with their immoral behavior, and not get caught.

 
 
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haroldbras
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March 17, 2008, 1:51 pm PDT

Was that not two big a deal made over it?

3/17/2008

 

I think that I saw it all.  I personally think that there was too much made about the deal.  I doubt that there has been few either men or women made it through life without trying someone other than his wife.  He did not break any laws that I know of.  Most of these people who make the big deal of it have most likely had extra-marital sex themselves.  I am in my 70s, and I feel like I have seen it all 3 times.

 

HaroldB537
 
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mkmazoch
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March 17, 2008, 1:53 pm PDT

Public Knowledge

I just wanted to say that I think Dr. Phil was a bit off the mark saying that because the governor is in the public eye everyone knows about his infidelity.  While that is true, I have to say that in a small town everyone knows your business there as well - and by the time the story circulates information is either added or changed.  I have a friend that was married for 25 years.  She is a business owner and fairly prominent in town.  Her husband cheated on her and everyone knew except her (for a while).  So to add to the marital issues (shock, hurt, embarrassment, etc.) she had to deal with the whispers, the dividing of friends, etc. She says that one of the worst things was everyone talking about it.  She actually stood by him and tried to make the marriage work - several times. And of course people talked about that as well. She felt very isolated in the whole thing.

 

Anyhow, my point is that dealing with infidelity publically is often just as distressing whether you are famous or not.  No one knows what goes on behind closed doors and no one really ever knows everything that goes on in a marriage except the two people married to each other.  And, never say never!  I have heard people comment on how they would react to a situation they have never encountered and then when it happens to them, they do something entirely different than what they said they would.
 
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jlj1967
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March 17, 2008, 1:58 pm PDT

I Don't Think We Have Any Right

Quote From: mary845

I don't think that it is anyone's business what Mrs. Spitzer does.  It is up to her.  I discovered that my husband of twenty eight years had cheated on me.  My best friend said to throw him out right away.  That is what she would do; she reminded me of this frequently.  I grew up with a mom who had divorced my dad when I was five but still wistfully loves him to this day and I am in my fifties.  I didn't want to be in her shoes.  I wanted to make a decision that I could live with for the rest of my life.  I went to marriage counseling for one year.  It didn't work.  I learned in that time that I wanted to be on my own.  We divorced.  I can truly say now that I don't love him and have moved on while my mom is still holding on to what could have been.  My ex is bitter.  But I am happy.  Ironically, I lost my best friend because she couldn't come to grips with my decision.  That's okay.  The judge held it against me in the divorce settlement because it took me so long and while that does anger me at times, it is still the better choice for me than making a snap decision.  I think that I would be sitting here alone, crying over what could have been, had I not taken the time to do it my way which may not be the right way for someone else.

So, each woman has to do what is right for her- no one else involved.

I'm glad to see your post.  I don't understand why everyone thinks they have the right to decide what Mrs. Spitzer should have done.  This is her business.  What do we know?  Even if we've been in a similar situation, we haven't been in hers.  She has a right to make her own decisions.  I especially couldn't believe the woman in the audience who said that she should have spoken.  Who said Mrs. Spitzer wanted to?  She shouldn't have to if just because we think she should.  I really just don't understand.
 
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weafer
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March 17, 2008, 2:18 pm PDT

Accountability on Both Sides

 How is it that the women/call girls always seems to escape moral obligation in these cases and no one ever talks about the complicity necessary on their part for this to happen? Not holding these women up to the light only further marginalizes them and perpetuates the problem. It is wrong to dismiss these women as inconsequential or off the radar, virtually gives consent to the profession by ignoring it.

 
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jaybee1016
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March 17, 2008, 2:19 pm PDT

$80,000...so what?

Yes, a married man who is a public official spent over $80,000 on prostitutes. But, let's remember that he is the govenor of New York; It's not like he was going to drive down to the Bronx and get a $20 blow job from a drug fiend. The $80,000 is SO irrelevant to the situation.

 
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bobnjoy
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March 17, 2008, 2:19 pm PDT

Cheating husbands wives


What is the matter with the wives that stand by their men that get caught cheating?
Just once I would like to see the news photo of the man confessing his sins with a blank space in the shape of a woman next to him. And the blurb would read,"The wife is not standing by her man. She is home having the locks changed, putting her husband's clothes and personal items in his car and setting it on FIRE!
Come on wives, where is the outrage? What kind of example are you setting for your daughters?  QueenJoy
 
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