Topic : 03/17 Bishop T.D. Jakes

If you have never walked in to the officers shoes don’t make the assumption of how they "all” act. I can guarantee 90 percent of you would not do their job for no more money than they make, to get called names to be spit on , hit , kicked, thrown up on, shot at. and cursed. In some city's this is daily. They don’t do this job for the money it is the love of the job and the satisfaction of helping the community. Are they saints?? No they are not, do they make mistakes? Yes they do. But unlike you when you make mistakes they are held in the public eyes and critized.  I have been doing this job as a female for 17years and “NO” were not perfect but we do the best we can and we have been taught the right way to defend our self in training. I feel if you don’t know the whole story you should not make assumptions on how he defended him self. You always rely on your training when you are in those difficult situations.

After my husband and I watched this I looked at him and told that if he had done that to me, while he was at the news briefing, I would have had the locks changed on the doors of our home and a Uhaul would be backed up to the house and his stuff would be in it. He knows the consequenses for his actions. I think that is a lot of todays problems. Whether it be men, women or kids. No one knows the consequences or even have any so they do whatever they want. Too little respect to people causes a lot of heartache. My heart went ou to Mrs. Spitzer. No woman should have to go through what she did.

Do you know what the judge decided my ex got in our community property state?  He admited that my money bought the house we lived in for 27 years, he admitted my ex was the one who strayed (hell my ex admitted that in the divorce papers himself)  and then the judge awarded him 40 percent of my pension for life, 45 perccent of the house and I got 50 percent of an IRA!  Then, to top it all off, my ex said he was so devastated from losing me, he couldn't work, and the judge awarded him support for one year while he got back on his feet and the girlfriend got $100.00 rent a month!  (I called it money for services rendered.)  That was with a great lawyer in a small town where the judge, the only show in town, told me that I chose to go into the world of work so it was my fault. 

Now my ex is retired and I still work.  But----- I am still glad I made the choices I did.  Do I think the court system is fair, having gone through it?  No. (P.S. - a local woman took on the judge and had him brought up on charges.  She lost custody of her children.  I guess I was lucky.)  Did my ex get what he deserved?  Not by a long shot!!!!

Thank you so very much for featuring the police officer who was fired from his job.  Although one of my sons is retired from a police department in the South (and was hired back to do more specialized work) I am sure he will be interested in seeing a tape of this show.  Also, the one about Eliot Spitzer.

By the way, as to walking in front of one's wife or any woman, it is pretty low-class to let her always go ahead to pave the way for a guy.  For example, in my day, we were told that if there is an usher in a theater, the woman goes down the aisle first; otherwise, the man goes first, ostensibly to clear the way!  Even if today's woman doesn't need a man to make the way clear, it still shows a man has some manners.

Pushing your way through a crowd or emerging from a bus, vehicle, or airplane, are more example that separate the classes and distinguishes good manners, even if one is otherwise stupid.  (My generation was also told that if one has to ask what "class" is, you don't have it.)  Have you noticed the Bushes and how they do it?  Admitted, he may come down the steps because of his rank, but I rather think he walks down the steps first and his wife follows him-- as a nice upper-middle class fine point of good manners.  This is just in case the woman catches one of her spike heels in a crack and tumbles forward.  But lo, there is a Sir Walter Raleigh to catch her!

Your words were so well spoken.  The women out there who have never been through it CANNOT understand nor can they really know what they would do if it happened.   Even Robin... especially Robin! 

I had always been one of those women who said "I would NEVER stay".... until I found out my husband had been doing exactly what Mr. Spitzer had been doing -  using escort services while out of town on business.  Only I found out about it 3 years ago and have been working through it ever since.  At the time, I could not find a single other woman that had been through exactly what I had been through - infidelity via escort services.  Three years later the issue is on national TV!   Why I stayed is very complex but you summarized it well when you said:

"To stay has been the hardest choice I have ever made.  I had to think about everyone involved, most importantly my children.  These comments from other women about what they would or wouldn't do are very hurtful for the woman attempting to put the pieces back together.  Your life literally falls apart, a hurt you cannot image, and a total disbelief when you realize that your reality is not, nor was it, the reality you believed it to be. "

My husbands infidelities were totally unexpected and they completely knocked my foundation out from under me.  (I am not a fool, he was just a great liar).  I had to deal with the fact that the man I married did NOT actually exist and never did.  You see, the man I married would have NEVER used escort services!  He was just not that kind of guy (if I thought he was I would not have married him!)  The man I married was a great husband, a great father, a great provider, a good Christian, and a devoted family man.  That was my reality.  So now I have to reconcile within myself that my reality was not real.  The man I married obviously could and did use escort services... he was that kind of guy and I AM married to him!   Lots of counseling, lots of work, lots of tears.  I made a commitment and just because he did wrong does not mean it is OK for me to break my commitment to my family.  Two wrongs do not make a right.

I had to do everything I could to at least try to work through it.  I felt I owed it to God and my children (who thankfully are young and we were able to keep this tragedy from them).   So that is what I am doing and it is the hardest thing I have ever done and it seems neverending.  A second chance has been given,.... but there will not be a third.  If it happens again, I will leave the marriage in peace knowing I did all I could but it wasn't meant to be.   It is so much harder to stay than it is to walk away, and I wouldn't do it if he weren't doing everything in his power to earn back my love and trust.

The last point I want to make is this:  If I were to walk away (or Mrs. Spitzer for that matter) it would not take away all the hurt, anger, confusion, etc..  I would still have to be working through those feelings.  But in staying, I am at least saving a family.