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Topic : 03/18 Love Junkies

Number of Replies: 98
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Created on : Friday, March 14, 2008, 02:37:04 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you in love with being in love? Do you jump from relationship to relationship because you can’t stand the thought of being single? Dr. Phil’s first guest, Dawn, says she definitely fits this description. The 42-year-old says she’s been hopping from guy to guy since she was 14, has been married and divorced four times and is now in a three-year relationship and feeling the itch. Dawn’s current boyfriend, Paul, feels like he's being used and says he’s not ready to be her fifth ex-husband! Kurtis, Dawn’s 22-year-old son, says it’s high time his mom settled down. Is Paul really Dawn's true love or should he pack his things and hit the road? Then, Joanne says her cousin, Theresa, is obsessed with her boyfriend, Ken. Joanne and Theresa’s sister, Christine, say Ken is mentally abusive, but no matter what he does, Theresa keeps going back for more. They say Ken threw Theresa, her kids and all their belongings out on the front yard for the entire neighborhood to see, and she still took him back. Joanne and Christine aren’t the only ones who dislike Ken. Theresa’s mom says she can’t stand him either -- to the point where she hasn’t spoken to her daughter in nearly two years! Theresa says she just can’t live without her man, and her relatives will have to deal with their relationship. Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s plan for mending this broken family and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 24, 2008, 6:51 pm CDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: ramair

I think a lot of men are abusive because they grew up in an abusive environment. Not to excuse then, but they learned what they lived.

OH I AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT SO MUCH. YOU GOT IT ON THE NAIL ON THAT ONE. BOYS LEARN WHAT THEY SEE. I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR A MAN THAT ABUSES A WOMAN. A MAN LIKE THAT IS A SISSY. I THINK ONE OTHER TRATE OF A MAN THAT ISN'T GOOD IS WHEN THEY ARE MOMMA'S BOYS. OOOOOOOO THAT IRRITATES ME  BIG TIME. I'VE HAD BOTH OF THOSE EXPERIENCES AND IT IS A NIGHTMARE.

 
March 25, 2008, 4:56 am CDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: housewife52

What I got out of your original post was that, boys grow up to be abusive men because of the women's liberation movement. Because women are not staying at home and raising thier children. Even though I chose to stay at home, that doesn't mean that ALL women should stay at home. There are a lot of dynamics in play when boys or girls for that matter grow up to be controlling and abusive adults. IMO to say that women shouldn't have careers, should stay in the home, is to take a step backward. If I have misunderstood what you were saying, I apologize.

No need to apologize at all. But I do not think that women staying home to be mothers full time would be a step backwards, I think it would be great for our country. I just meant that when women left the home around the 60's and went to work in masses the children were kind of left behind to fend for themselves in daycare or latchkey kids. The fathers of those days certainly was not mentally or emotionally equipped to help out with the kiddos. I am a dad and I did not realize that raising the children was partly my job until they were about 8 years old..pretty sad, I missed out on some great years. I just thought that making the money was enough. That is why I think that mothers should stay home because sadly alot of dads will never understand how loving, caring and nurturing they can be to their children. I just want the children of the country to have a loving parent at home to cook a good breakfast and be waiting after school when they get home, and to teach young boys and girls how to treat each other with respect and dignity.
 
March 25, 2008, 10:43 pm CDT

I wonder about myself too

Quote From: motomel3

I have 2 children from a previous marriage and remarried in July 07.  My current husband has 3 children from a previous relationship, so we have 5 kids total.  Prior to getting married, we did discuss having one child.  We agreed to get our finances straight and last month I was able to accomplish this task.  The topic of children has come up again and he has changed his mind and no longer wants another child.  I understand that I can not force him or trick him to have one.   If we don't have a child between us, I feel like part of me will hate him for the rest of our marriage.  If we do have a child, he might hate me and the new baby.  I feel like I am in a "no win" situation.  Both of us have even discussed leaving one another (divorce) because we feel so strongly about the topic. 

I am in my 3rd marriage, my husband's first.  I don't want to leave and end this one but I am not happy.  I feel very unloved and unappreciated. My husband totally hates my daughter from a previous relationship and that has driven a HUGE wedge in our marriage.  He has basically said, I need to get over it. I really feel like I am trying to work this one but in the midst of trouble, I have turned by to my old habits of wandering for some excitement and the feeling of "love". 

I would encourage you to work out your differences before bringing an other child into the home - that would be truly unfair to them since they cannot defend themselves and will only learn from the brokenness in your current relationship.

I worry about our little 2 year old girl since our communication is so non-existent at this point.  I do plan to start therapy when my insurance will cover it next month, but each time I have gone through therapy, my marriage has not survived in the past.  Hopefully, this one will

 
April 2, 2008, 3:00 am CDT

Guest On Love Junkies

I have to say that I was quite surprised by the reaction I received from strangers concerning my appearance on Dr. Phil's show titled Love Junkies.

 

I went on the show, hoping to discover something about myself that was causing me to have so many failed marriages and relationships.  As you must realize, this is a T.V. show, and things are edited, and also the complete story could not be told.  Having the guts to come out on national television, to admit that I am, and have been concerned about my past relationships, and current relationship, was a venue to get some help. 

 

Yes, I was bullied extensively as a child. No, my parents did not withhold love from me, even to this day.  And no, I have not, nor am I trying to ruin anyone's life.  You have to remember it does take two to make a relationship, and I have never tricked or lied to a man about my past, I mean come on, I even went on Dr. Phil!!!  3 of the 4 of my marriages were physically abusive, and not because I was cheating on them, it was their own emotional issues.  All of these factors have contributed to my mistrust and hesitation to make a commitment, which I am learning thru therapy, that I have been responsible for, not provided by the show as promised.   As for my partner, who was there to support me, shows that he does care for me, and knows about my past behaviors and patterns, henceforth the reason that we decided to do the show. 

 

I really liked the comments from the women who stated that they can't find a decent man, and that it is women like me that are ruining them is a bunch of poppy-cock!!  I have never taken advantage of them, and no, leaving the toilet seat was not ever a reason that I would have left a relationship, it was just a easy way to make an example other than name name's and go into another subject, aka abusive, financial issues, cheating, that would have taken the show into another direction, and off topic.

 

My partner and I are doing just fine, and even though we have received alot of flack, especially him, concerning our appearance on the show, we have become closer, and have gained a greater understanding of what each others needs, and faults are. Again, you have to remember that this is a TV show, and doesn't tell the full background of a story. 

 

Final note.  In this day and age, where children and young teens are committing suicide, taking guns to school, due to bullying and cruel teasing, and to say that I need to just get over it, was a cruel and obviously uneducated comment.  Yes, I am over it, but I will never forget it.  I do have a good life, I work, have a wonderfully supportive family, friends ( after my family moved me out of the area where the extreme bullying occurred), and the best son in the entire world.  The point is, once a bully, always a bully, child or adult.  It concerns me that those people take no responsibility for their actions, and are emotionally stunted themselves. Yes, I was born with a severe handicap, my parents were told that I would never be able to walk or do normal things like other children.  Due to the fantastic work at the Kansas University Medical Center in Kansas City, they were able to make sure that I did succeed!  My parents took extensive time and money to make sure I had the proper medical care, and walked with a full leg brace at an early age. Regardless, a handicap is a handicap, and I was one of the very lucky ones to receive a surgery that was successful and new.  I run, walk, jump, and dance, and no one even notices or knows that I went thru extreme measures for 10 years to accomplish the above. Being different in grade school, in a small town, is impossible.  This is the reason as to why when I started receiving attention and widening my social circle after our family moved, that threw me into a world where I had tons of friends, and began dating, an able to form true friend relationships.  But if you have been attacked and had to fight your way thru grade school all the way up, on a weekly basis, I think you would have a hard time trusting people also,  especially if this occurred during your formative years.

 

Thank those of you who have commented on experiencing the same thing, and for the understanding, and for being able to read between the lines.  You either laugh or you cry, and I choose to laugh.  Life is too short. ( Dr. Phil is a ok guy, however, ...I'm sure not going to try to take him away from that lovely wife Robin!!!!) I am happy where and who I am with ( 4 1/2 yrs now)!

 

Dawn

 
April 2, 2008, 3:06 am CDT

Whatever

Quote From: hockeyczarina

If you look at her - she look as though she has recently lost weight, no?  Looking at those earlier pictures from the Jr. High I.D.s, she used to be very pretty.   So isn't it quite possible, since her psychological issues stem from those years, that she still sees herself as a young woman?

Yes, what she does is manipulative and mean, but she isn't a totally ugly person.  She did, with some help, raise a very intelligent son, who so far doesn't seem to be any the worse the wear for his mothers shenanigans. 

Please remember that this is a TV show, and that under no circumstances do I think that I am all that, or that I am even pretty, it is actually quite the opposite.  I am very insecure about my looks, have always been self-conscious, and cover it up by being funny and perky.  No, I have not recently lost weight, I have been thinner for the past few years, and those former pictures were about 20 to 30 years old.  I am still a young women, and it is terrible that the only thing that you got out of the show was about how I look. 

 
April 2, 2008, 3:23 am CDT

Thank You!

Quote From: lynlovel

 i was wondering when someone was going to raise this issue. not everybody thinks it's terrible to have had lots of relationships, especially not women swho have trouble getting one. but you're right, there's no reason tho think that they were all "good" men -- or that her definition of a good man was the same as the women who is lamenting her single status.

often, i think,  women who have a lot of relationships and marriages over the years don't look as closely, at first, as women who "can't find any." or maybe they dont focus on the same things. yes, dawn may look closely after she'is a relationship -- to "see" if the guy  still seems to 'love" her, etc. however, she may not be looking hard enough at personal qualities  or she'd be more likely to weed out the truly 'bad" guys and stay with a kind, caring man.

in fact, dawn and this other woman could probably learn from each other. women like dawn may need to learn to pay attention to what's really important --  to brains and character more than emotional highs. and those who "can't find" anyone may need to relax her standards a little, cut the guys a little slack, so to speak., accept a few more human flaws in a man. food for thought, i suppose...
Thank you for understanding the back story to this.  The show did make it out to look as I was the one who left all my relationships, and or marriages, just because I didn't feel the " love".  That is not true, and I did exactly as stated above, jumped first, and found out later.  I posted that 3 out of 4 of my marriages were extremely abusive, an my son even stated on the show that he was aware of abuse in the household, which about killed me.  If I was a man, and stated that in 40 some years I had dated lets say 35 women, no one would have blinked.  I however, who have dated approx 10 to 15, am being viewed as a slut.  I am not saying that every single guy I have dated was bad, but my patterns became established, and now, maybe better late than never, have broke that destructive pattern.  Very intelligent comment, and thank you.
 
April 8, 2008, 9:09 am CDT

insecure

Quote From: juliebgg

Susan you talk about how people act and treat others.  How was your ripping apart Dawn's appearance in another post okay to do?   Are you saying it is okay for YOU to rip others apart but when others do it THEY are ugly as sin!!!  Why are you exempt from treating people well?

 

And by the way it wasn't all about the way Dawn looks.  It was about her being very insecure.

 Yeah and she sure isnt insecure about the way she looks - er rather THINKS she looks.  Free speech hun - dont blame me for some egotistical woman coming on national TV to make a fool out of herself.  She gets what she wanted - attention.  And she is pretty much scum for treating a nice man (or MEN in her case) the way she does - needs to be brought down a few notches and I can only hope that the man in her life on that show dumped her worthless butt after the show to go out and find a woman worthy of him.  Women like this make me almost ashamed to be lumped into the same gender. 
 
April 15, 2008, 5:53 pm CDT

love junkie

        Dawn     YOU HAVED USED ALL THE MEN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN WITH    ABUSE_____ U ARE THE BIGGEST BASKETCASE AND HABITUAL LIAR THERE EVER WAS > PAUL RUN RUN RUN CAUSE THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR PROBABLY IS THE OTHER GUY SHE WILL DO THIS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE!!!!!!!!   U CAN FIND MUCH MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!  
 
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