Topic : 03/18 Love Junkies

I have been off and on with an abusive partner like Theresa. I have also thrown him out and then asked him to come back, felt sorry for him, given him a soft place to land although he has never given me anything in return but more abuse. He is out now and refusing to get treatment so I don't think it will ever work out. The problem is that I'm pregnant and he keeps promising to get help. I keep giving him chances in the hope that we could somehow provide a family for the baby. What Dr. Phil said, something like "You should be kicking down the door to get OUT, not back in," really hit me hard. I'm enabling him to exist in this world without getting help, so why should he?

This show opened my eyes!

WoW! Todays show should open everyone's eyes! I believe that everyone in a committed relationship has said to their partner or at least themselves that they miss the 'honeymoon phase'... Well how true was it when Dr. Phil said that what Dawn was missing was what is one the other side of that high. It doesn't peak and then start going down, it just changes... There are still highs but what she was missing was the security of knowing that she belonged Somewhere WITH Somebody! Its the feeling that if ya don't show up somewhere there is someone in this world that would miss you, would look for you, and would care that you weren't were you were suppose to be. You have a sense of belonging, a sense of value, and a sense of contribution.  We need to realize that our husbands and wives don't love us any less it just CHANGES!!! So let's appreciate our companionship and be grateful that we do have someone that will love us, worry about us, and value us even if they didn't hold our hand that evening or give us a hug when we think they should have!! Accept change and for once lets take our marriages as serious as the vows we took!!!!!

Children who bully in schools are not just cruel, they are sadistic. They derive pleasure in the suffering they inflict on others. Dawn is a result of schools that allow bullies to prey on the insecure. Schools need to stop bullies now, not say the bullies are going through a period, not say that it's part of growing up.

Children who abuse other children, have the mental mindset for growing up to become abusers. Nobody should have to be terrified of going to school. Put these sadists where they belong, in juvenile hall, or a specialized school where they can try to survive with their own. Maybe after being targeted they'll learn a lesson about what they do to others. Monsters don't deserve an education.

On Dawn and Paul, I feel like I missed something.  Dr. Phil said after talking to Paul, he felt like he had, paraphrasing, a meaningful understanding of what he wanted in a relationship.  Now, the only thing  I heard Paul say after coming out was that she didn't want to have sex anymore, so he figured it was about time to leave.  That doesn't sound very  meaningful to me.  That didn't sound like unconditional love or a lasting partnership love.  That sounded like his Number 1 priority is sex, and if he isn't getting it, then he's not interested in staying in the relationship.

Yes, I get that she is the one with the most glaring relationship problems and background and that she could hopefully benefit from some counseling, but honestly, I guess it's just a flaw of the editing or something, but that's really the only message I got from Paul.  It's just a fact that a lot of relationships, the sex dwindles to next to nothing.  I certainly hope no one is advocating that Dawn should set aside her feelings, however she came by them, and just gut up and do her wifely duty, because I can't help but get an undercurrent of this sentiment just from what I heard the two say.  I didn't hear him say he'd stay with her without sex.  Seems to me HE might have a little problem of prioritizing only that element and may certainly be contributing to the lack of true intimacy with his attitude. 

I wish the best for both of them.  They're both at an age when changing partners isn't going to be easy since they've both lost their youthful appearances, but still, I'm just not sure counseling can make you attracted to someone anew since that is part physical.  I know I personally have never become re-attracted to someone I lost attraction for, and I'm certainly glad I didn't waste time performing a sexual duty like a concubine in order to stay in a relationship.  Me and my 3 pets are just fine if it comes to that.   

I see women like this all the time.  Serial daters and they seem to be able to find a man and get married at will.  I've been single all my life and have NEVER been proposed to... yet she's able to get 4 plus men to propose even tho she's clearly got issues?  There must be something wrong with me...because I can't even find 1 good man.

She is a Drama Junkie, in love with causing as much verbal devastation as possible on a daily basis. She watches that G)#(@#$^ "Life Time" channel then demands I prove myself innocent to what ever move she saw. Its been off and on for that last four years (mostly off for me) till Feb 8th when she con me into believing she truly is in love with me. It lasted 12 whole day and I moved out after she took the house key while I slept saying I was untrustworthy. She's keeping most of my personal belongings to teach me a lesson (she says) but I think she's sniffing my underwear in private.

What she had done with out my knowledge or permission was copied my cell phone directory and has called everyone from my work manager to my son's mother. I have managed to move back in to my exact apartment and she's been calling the manager trying to get information on me. Dr Phil needs to read the email she sends, one sentence she blames and hates me, and next line she loves me, misses me and wants me to come over.

Don’t get me wrong she (aka Psyco) is a good woman and will make Someone a Fantastic wife but not for me. This woman is a prime candidate for a Dr. Phil Chil Pil.

When watching the show it was almost like watching my history.  I can so relate where you are coming from.  I, too, had a difficult childhood - sexual abuse by an uncle before I even started school, verbal abuse from my stepfather who was also an alcoholic, teased in school because I was so painfully withdrawn...

As I grew up I built an invisible 'wall' around myself as a coping mechanism.  I had relationship after relationship but could never commit.  I was engaged 3 times but could never go through with a wedding- I couldn't even bring myself to plan one. I felt as though I was constantly searching for something I couldn't name and I know I treated some of my partners badly.  I was continually thinking that I had to 'get them (as in leave) before they got (leave) me.'  Commitment was something foreign to me and although it was what I craved I continued to elude it.  I was my own worst enemy and didn't even know it.  I was addicted to the first 'rush' of a relationship but couldn't seem to make it past that. 

I did, however, live alone, make my own way and had friends who thought I was living a charmed life - no ties, no strings, I could get up and go whenever I wanted and no one had a hold on me. 

I can't tell you exactly when I had my "AHHA" moment, but I did - finally.  I met my husband when I was engaged (yet again) to another man.  I knew I wasn't going to marry this guy and we were growing further and further apart (both of us at fault).  After we broke up I moved into my own place (again) and started examining my past behavior. I didn't want to grow old alone, I wanted stability, someone to care about me, and yes, who loved me unconditionally.  I just didn't know how to go about it.  A friend of mine had introduced me to my now-husband but I thought nothing of it (or him) at the time.  But suddenly I found myself thinking about him and wondering if he was seeing anyone.  So I called my friend who gave me his number.  I called him and we met for dinner and that was that.  We will be married for 12 years this May and we are still in love.  The 'rush' has turned into something even more wonderful - a sense of peace and contentment.

It's not all a bed of roses, but we are true partners and work together to make our marriage happy and healthy.  So, this long and somewhat rambling post, is just to let you know that you can find what you are looking for.  Take Dr. Phil's help and work on your issues.  It is so worth it!  I feel like the luckiest woman on earth and I know that you can, too!

Take care! And good luck!

It will take a couple generations to make this change. But I really think that if you want men to act like men, then women need to act like women. The woman's movement to eqaulity in America and the world was and is not a bad thing. But in the process no one thought of what it is really like to grow up a man in this world. You raise your daughters to stand up for their rights and say go to hell men we rule this world, then you want men to treat your daughters with tender loving care and stay home while they pamper them. Well which way do you want it. Be a man or be a woman but you can't have it both ways. For many years it was a mans role to bring home the bacon and a woman would stay home and take care of the children. Over the last 40 years women have fought so hard to change that role and they succeeded. Being pushed around and bullied all of our lives is part of being a man. If you want to reverse it (which is impossible) then moms need to stay home and raise boys and girls to be boys and girls. What most women never realized is how noble and so important the role of homemaker and mother really was and is and how so vital it really was to the America alot of people grew up in. The minds of millions of boys and girls and their roles in society has changed forever. It is no longer little boys role to take care of girls anymore because we grow up knowing that they do not want us to take care of them anymore and if we try to we get called a sexist pig at a very early age. The outside world and the inside instincts are fighting and the world is winning. So congrats on the liberation thing ladies, you should have asked a man how hard it is to live in a man's world before you started it. We never doubted how hard your role was that is why we never fought to be a homemaker in the 60's and 70's.

37 year old male, Tx.