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Topic : 03/18 Love Junkies

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Created on : Friday, March 14, 2008, 02:37:04 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you in love with being in love? Do you jump from relationship to relationship because you can’t stand the thought of being single? Dr. Phil’s first guest, Dawn, says she definitely fits this description. The 42-year-old says she’s been hopping from guy to guy since she was 14, has been married and divorced four times and is now in a three-year relationship and feeling the itch. Dawn’s current boyfriend, Paul, feels like he's being used and says he’s not ready to be her fifth ex-husband! Kurtis, Dawn’s 22-year-old son, says it’s high time his mom settled down. Is Paul really Dawn's true love or should he pack his things and hit the road? Then, Joanne says her cousin, Theresa, is obsessed with her boyfriend, Ken. Joanne and Theresa’s sister, Christine, say Ken is mentally abusive, but no matter what he does, Theresa keeps going back for more. They say Ken threw Theresa, her kids and all their belongings out on the front yard for the entire neighborhood to see, and she still took him back. Joanne and Christine aren’t the only ones who dislike Ken. Theresa’s mom says she can’t stand him either -- to the point where she hasn’t spoken to her daughter in nearly two years! Theresa says she just can’t live without her man, and her relatives will have to deal with their relationship. Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s plan for mending this broken family and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
juliebgg
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March 20, 2008, 4:35 am PDT

to yoshiyoshi

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

Clearly this person doesn't understand the psychological reprecussions, of having to go to a place everyday where you experience emotional abuse, and nobody is willing to help you. What if it was about someone calling her a name at age 7, does that make it somehow less valid that she was preyed upon by inhuman monsters? These sadist children need to be taken out of the public schools and put somewhere away from innocents to attack.

I read your various posts about bullying, and I fully understand what you are saying.  I sense that you have had first hand experience with this, and whatever you have been through has made you into a compassionate, caring person.

I've had years of the occasional type of verbal bullying, with one really BAD  year in late elementary school. You are right-you have to go to a place everyday knowing the treatment you are going to face. No one is willing to help you.  The other kids for the most part fear that the bully will target them next if they come to the aid of the victim.  Teachers?  I have yet to see one step in to help anyone.  I certainly never received that. Parents of the bully?  Their response is something of the "kids will be kids" mentality-using a stupid cliche to excuse bullying behavior. I had a neighbor use that with me once when her much bigger kid picked on my son.

When you hear the same negative things about yourself over and over you start to believe them.  You don't want to ask for help because it is embarrassing to tell anyone about and there is even the fear that they will then see the same things "wrong' with you that you believe about yourself as a result of the bullying.

There are bullies in the workplace too.  I had a bullying boss years ago. There are bullies on these boards.  Someone posting on this thread completely ripped apart Dawn's physical appearance-I think it was later removed  because it was really offensive.

I don't condone Dawn's  hurting other people, but I can clearly see that  she craves acceptance.  Irf she gets help I believe she can build her self-esteem and overcome this. 

 
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hockeyczarina
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March 21, 2008, 12:25 am PDT

Poke the Badger

Kurtis has survived due to others supporting him, not necessarily shielding him, but being there for him. 

Those of you who feel the need to pick on appearances, please post photos of yourselves, we'll get to you next after you've finished critiquing Dawn.
 
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lynlovel
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March 21, 2008, 8:58 am PDT

not a love junkie

Quote From: motomel3

I have 2 children from a previous marriage and remarried in July 07.  My current husband has 3 children from a previous relationship, so we have 5 kids total.  Prior to getting married, we did discuss having one child.  We agreed to get our finances straight and last month I was able to accomplish this task.  The topic of children has come up again and he has changed his mind and no longer wants another child.  I understand that I can not force him or trick him to have one.   If we don't have a child between us, I feel like part of me will hate him for the rest of our marriage.  If we do have a child, he might hate me and the new baby.  I feel like I am in a "no win" situation.  Both of us have even discussed leaving one another (divorce) because we feel so strongly about the topic. 
i dont think you're a "love junkie."  i see you as a woman who believes that having a child together is an important part of a relationship -- and who expects a husband to stick to a plan or what she htought was a plan. obviously, your husband didnt see it as such or has done some serious rethinking. and just as obviously, you can't compromise on this one/ cant half have a child and half not. but i dont think you should rush to leave each other so fast, either. i stongly recommend marriage counseling before any decisions are made.
 
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juliebgg
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March 21, 2008, 9:05 am PDT

your last sentence

Quote From: hockeyczarina

Kurtis has survived due to others supporting him, not necessarily shielding him, but being there for him. 

Those of you who feel the need to pick on appearances, please post photos of yourselves, we'll get to you next after you've finished critiquing Dawn.

Hockey...I just loved that last sentence!!!  Those who like to critique others' appearances usually are not happy with their own. 

Have a great day!!
 
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nperry123
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March 22, 2008, 8:24 am PDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: housewife52

IMO you didn't quite make the connection between the women's liberation movement and men who bully and abuse women. At least nowadays it is not considered O.K. for a man to bully and abuse his wife. Back when "men were men and women were women?" it was considered a man's God given right to control and abuse his wife in any way he saw fit. By the way, I am a stay at home wife and was a stay at home mom to 2 children.
I never said it is OK to abuse anyone.I don't know that it was ever considered a right but many people did not talk about it and just let it happen. I don't even know what you are talking about anyway because I never said anything about abusing women.  I am very proud that there are women like you that take the role of mother as a proper and proud one. I
 
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nperry123
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March 22, 2008, 8:36 am PDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: mupine67

Hi,

You sound like a great guy. I agree with you totally about woman doing this, there is no stability anymore.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like you'll be single for long!!!

have a nice day

Thank you so much for understanding what I am talking about. Most women really tore me up on this message board. They did not understand that I meant it is the most important role in the world to raise children. Especially raising young men to know how not to be abused by women. Many men are emotionally abused by their girlfriends and spouses but because there is no physical bruises it is not recognized as real. And in turn we have to raise our daughters to be strong as well and not take abuse either. But either way someone has to be at home to do this. If the man would rather do it and financially it is possible and he has the skills to do so than that is fine too. Most women that replied to me took everything as I said it is OK to hit women and I should have seen it coming. Anytime I say it is good for a family for the mom to stay at home they think that I love to drink beer and beat my wife. Well I don't drink and have never struck a woman. Thank you for agreeing.
 
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nperry123
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March 22, 2008, 8:43 am PDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

Have you ever had someone put dog food in bubblegum? Have you ever had to wear orthopedic gear and braces to school? She's a victim. I'm sorry you can't see it that way. She hurts people because she's been hurt.  She's afraid to be rejected because all she's known in life is rejection. Can you imagine that? She feels it will only be a matter of time before she's rejected, so she should cut to the chase, and leave the relationship before it happens.

 

She wouldn't be like this if our schools delt with bullies as they are, cruel sadists preying on targets. This is a message to everyone that bullying is not a small issue, it destroys lives. I understand she is hurting other people, but this is because she has not come to terms with all the pain that was unjustly given to her by monsters, who saw her as prey. Do you think it's reasonable to emotionaly abuse and torture someone just because they might be different, or not fit in?

Why do people do this? I never once said it is OK to hurt other people. No I was not a bully. If anything I was bullied. Not to that extent. I am just saying that because you are hurt, it does not give you the right to hurt others. If you take the view that you do than you have to say that everyone that hurts other people have an excuse. Well Adolf Hitler was an abused child, and was bullied by his peers and siblings that he even moved out of his country for awhile.
 
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juliebgg
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March 22, 2008, 1:52 pm PDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: nperry123

Why do people do this? I never once said it is OK to hurt other people. No I was not a bully. If anything I was bullied. Not to that extent. I am just saying that because you are hurt, it does not give you the right to hurt others. If you take the view that you do than you have to say that everyone that hurts other people have an excuse. Well Adolf Hitler was an abused child, and was bullied by his peers and siblings that he even moved out of his country for awhile.

In your other post you minimized what happened to Dawn.  You compared it to someone being called a name when she was 7 years old.  Dawn's situation was much much worse.  I agree that being hurt does not give  someone the right to hurt others.  Dawn should not be doing this and should seek help to cope with her feelings without inflicting pain on others.

I also believe that bullies are people who feel insecure with themselves.  If I look back at any kids that picked on me  in grade school I can now see that they were insecure people.  But that certainly did not give them the right to hurt me or try to make themselves look better by putting me down.
 
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susanashe
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March 22, 2008, 2:00 pm PDT

I KNOW

Quote From: hockeyczarina

Kurtis has survived due to others supporting him, not necessarily shielding him, but being there for him. 

Those of you who feel the need to pick on appearances, please post photos of yourselves, we'll get to you next after you've finished critiquing Dawn.
 Exactly what I look like and I am fine with my looks and so are most others - but one major difference is that I dont go on national TV to say how "all that" I am - even if I think so, which I don't  The woman made it about her looks when she brought it into it herself so her problems do totally center on how great she thinks she looks or is.   I didnt see it in her looks or her personality.  I know people much better looking than myself that are truly ugly as sin due to the way they act and treat others.  Dawn treats men like crap and that in itselt makes her a total dog
 
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yoshiyoshi
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March 22, 2008, 10:41 pm PDT

03/18 Love Junkies

Quote From: juliebgg

In your other post you minimized what happened to Dawn.  You compared it to someone being called a name when she was 7 years old.  Dawn's situation was much much worse.  I agree that being hurt does not give  someone the right to hurt others.  Dawn should not be doing this and should seek help to cope with her feelings without inflicting pain on others.

I also believe that bullies are people who feel insecure with themselves.  If I look back at any kids that picked on me  in grade school I can now see that they were insecure people.  But that certainly did not give them the right to hurt me or try to make themselves look better by putting me down.

Dawn did go on Dr. Phil to seek help.
 
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