Topic : 03/18 Love Junkies

a show my 19 yo cousin should be on breaks up with one man and with another within a week.  I there is an under lyeing problem.

The teen mom of my husband's 16-year-old grandson's daughter is the same way. Not long after their baby was born (18 months ago), she was back with an ex-boyfriend. And, we've lost count of how many other guys she's been with. None of these "relationships" have lasted a month.

I listened to a little bit of her crap and just think that after that many men in her life and all the failed marriages the only common denominator is her. Call it a disease or a disorder or just a problem but quit ruining peoples lives and quit trying to make people think you are the victim. It is only you that causes these issues in your own life. JUST GIVE UP and no more people will get hurt. It is not the end of the world to be single. I have been single for 3 years after a 9 year marriage and I was cheated on several times by my wife. I have never been more happy and now realize that happiness is an emotion that can only come from you. No one can ever "make" you happy. Men are being hurt all over this world because of women like her and to them it is just a problem that they need to work on..blah, blah, blah. If you want men to act like men then stop acting like a highschool girl at a party with a list hidden in her jewelry box of how many guys you bagged, and start acting like a woman whom should be the foundation of love and stability that the family structure is missing so badly in modern times. If you want to know where society has went wrong it is with women like this. Disorder...Please, just give up your childhood and you will be fine.

Doctor Junkies Love Phil. What! Are you kidding me? You are not eatting food junk. I Hope not. And espe--

ially not a Junk Food Junkies at all. See you on Tuesday March 18th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaan--

deren.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wow yeah she met this one guy saying he was army and make well lets say waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy more than a reserve private makes in the army (which is what he is)  and that he had this other human resources job...he hasn't finished high sschool (still in) and is only 18.  she met him one night next day saying I love you.  and then staying a week at his house!  and I just found lookes like they are engaged.

I love this guys as if she is my own.  And i know this steams back to something that happened to her in her past.  but she won't talk about it and to get her to admit this is a reason for having to have a man and someone love her is sad.  I wish I could get her to open up. 

sorry you are raising her child when I was a young mother my mom helped me but I paid her for watching my son.  and she will soon be joining me to live with while my hubby is deployed and I am pregnant with my 3rd baby. 

It's sad and I think people do this and not to knock your husband but because of something that has happend, wiring gone wrong or they didn't feel loved enough.  I think 1 and 3 are my cousin her father loves her but doesn't know how to show it and I because something has happened to her.

Good luck with the baby and mom.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

 

High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison:  Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life.

 

Hope it helps!

 

something has been missing in this woman's life since she was 14 and self esteem and self worth and morals may be the things missing Being self centered  never works. Looking outside one's self as other people see you  may give a good decription of how you really are. She is looking for something that is not there and may be something she can create or change within herself

Getting out of a destructive situation is fine but when it is 4 times and counting like the woman on the show it is time for her to quit getting in them.

  When I grew up, my grandmother would always tell me "men come and go, but your children are your children forever". I didn't understand what she meant at the time, now I do, but my daughter doesn't. (By the way, my mother abandoned me for "her man").  I have been a professional for 18 years, and am ashamed to be in this terrible situation. My daughter receives support from the government, but t he government money supports my daughter  and  "her man". The children are a meal ticket for their "love".
As I sit here typing, I am listening to vintage Billy Holiday, and the recurring themes are "me and my man" "he beats me" "I am on my knees" "whatever my my man is, I am his forever more"  "my man, I love him so"...etc.... clearly, this is not a new sickness.  All for "the man she loves". Is that not sick? An adult who will trade everything in life for the "current"  man that treats her like crap. It is mental illness that apparently is like a sunami, no warning, no where to run, and no hope that the grandchildren will survive until she is dead or incarcerated for life.    I do not understand why my daughter has chosen to remain in habitual abusive relationships, as this was not in her upbringing. When this started, I remained of the "tough love" position ( I was punished by denial of seeing the oldest grandson because I refused to fork over money). I watched her father (my ex) enable her behavior/actions, and now there are 2 grandchildren at stake, neither of which chose her lifestyle options. I have been through the legal route with the first grandchild. The legal system does not protect the children and my financial security was devestated, my career jeopardized, and I walked away from my true love (the drama was too stressful).   Now, with the second grandchild (second man), it looks my daughter still has not changed, except that I am alone to carry the burden. I will not jeopardize anymore of my financial security, (my career).... so I wait and try to protect my grandchildren from this sickness as much as I can. I try to hide my exhaustion and frustration from the children. I am physically tired. I "take care" of my grandchildren 80 % of the time. No money to her, just safe haven for the kids. I am seeing no positive resolution to her behavior and the trauma it brings to my grandchildren.    Yet, I must live for at least 20 more years, so that I can raise my grandchildren and continue to pick up the pieces, as I anticipated that my daughter will be dead before I die....  killed by an abusive boyfriend and/or will be incarcerated. I  must candidly admit that I would be relieved if she were dead, as then my grandchildren would be free from this sickness that she brings to our life. Is that not sick also?
So, as I send this letter out to the cosmos..I expect nothing to change. But, if by some chance there is a way to stop this sickness...please share it with me. I saw the list of "self help" books for this situation but can only read one...so which one??

Why are men mentally/emotionally abusive? Reading this site-I thought I knew 2 of them--only to find it's a huge problem in todays society.

 Is it a bully thing?

Is it a to be a guy thing? 

Is it a guilt trip thing?   

How do we change todays boys into tomorrows men?