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Topic : 03/24 "You're Not Who I Married"

Number of Replies: 101
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, March 20, 2008, 12:37:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
When you walk down the aisle and say "I do," you look forward to a life of wedded bliss. But what if your bride or groom turned into your worst nightmare? Trish and Matt say their wedding day two years ago was full of love, joy and hope, but just months into the marriage, Trish became full of rage. She lashes out at her husband up to 15 times a day, and their physical fights often occur in front of their two young children. What's really at the root of Trish's rage, and should this couple ever have gotten married? Then, Tracy says when her husband, Shawn, lost 350 pounds, she lost her sweet, humorous spouse, and their five kids lost their loving father. She says Shawn is now an angry man obsessed with his appearance. Why do they both say that if they had met today, they would never have married? And what must Shawn do to get this marriage back on track? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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March 22, 2008, 11:17 am CDT

Ditto for our son

I will be watching this show.  We have a daughter-in-law that this sounds like.  She is unbelievable.  She has separated from our son twice and is divorcing him for the second time.  He keeps going back because he thinks he can make it work for the sake of the children.  He is finally giving up.  She has him broke and in debt from all the things she has to have and demands.  It is really, really hard to be parents and have to stand and watch.  I love her, too, and wish she could get help and be a better mother.  I think it is too late for her to be a good wife for our son.
 
March 22, 2008, 12:05 pm CDT

baggage

 When will people find the time to heal the damage caused by other broken relationships before they jump into marriage.  I see it all the time, once the honeymoon is over the old mind tapes of doubt and resentment begin to surface.  First, why did they marry to begin with.  Real love can overcome the trials of life.  Are they really getting to know the person before they say the i do's?  I have seen to many good marriages that just don't go that way.  Someone somewhere must have had doubts and saw the future if they are having problems.  People don't change that much, we are who we have always been,maybe they just over looked that part of the person.
 
March 22, 2008, 12:08 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Are Doctor I Married Not Phil Who You. Doctor Phil you are allready married. So what are you talking---------

about? I am glad that I am not getting marry at all. See you on Monday March 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your.---

Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
March 22, 2008, 12:21 pm CDT

Sympathizing with the Topic to be heard 03/24

Most, not all, but most of Dr. Phil's messages from the shows I totally agree with!  I try to watch as many shows as I can, I am blessed to be able to have a DVR in which I have it set to record the "Dr. Phil Show" every day.  I am anxious to hear Dr. Phil's advice on this topic and to these people seeking help, guidance and advice.  I completely understand and sympathize with those individuals.  I didn't believe in divorce except for biblical reasons so when I married the first time, I thought it would be for life no matter what.  It didn't turn out that way, he turned out to be like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, he totally changed after we were married.  My second marriage, of which I am still in, has been a disaster.  There has been so much abuse, I tried my best to make it work-I'm not saying I'm perfect at all, of course I made mistakes.  I'm talking in the past tense because we are separated and have been separated since 11/04/2005.  He's living with his girlfriend that he had while we still together, which I did not know about, I believed him when he said they were just friends.  I know he lied because he has a daughter by her and she would have had to become pregnant before we separated due to the age of the child.  I want to ask him "Why?"  He was supposed to be paying Spousal Support, but hasn't paid anything since 11/2006.  His true colors have really come out.  Me trying to give him breaks and trying to be fair did nothing but help him take advantage of me more.  I ended up losing the MH that was ours, but I stayed in after the separation-it was to become completely mine once paid off.  Thankfully to God, I have been blessed by a wonderful family who came to my rescue and moved me out.  I am living with my mother now.  I am disabled and have been since 01/01/2001.  My husband had been cruel and mean in the past, but I just didn't think he would do me the way he has been doing me.  I ended up losing 2 out of my 3 cats.  The cats are precious to me probably moreso than to most people because I can't have kids, I had to have a hysterectomy 12/14/1995, 6 days before my 25th birthday.  My friends told me not to trust my husband, they tried to tell me he wouldn't keep his word with the Separation Agreement, but I thought I could trust him.  I know past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior.  I just never knew from day to day how he was going to be, when he was sad I tried cheering him up, but that didn't help.  Now I realize that was just a manipulation.  Anyway, I look forward to the show on Monday, March 24, 2008.
 
March 22, 2008, 12:56 pm CDT

"You're not who I married"

Why did Shawn lose that much weight?   Since he is so weight conscious and is obscessed with his appearance, my guess is  that he is having an affair. 

 
March 22, 2008, 1:04 pm CDT

You're not who I married

Quote From: dixiestrauss

I will be watching this show.  We have a daughter-in-law that this sounds like.  She is unbelievable.  She has separated from our son twice and is divorcing him for the second time.  He keeps going back because he thinks he can make it work for the sake of the children.  He is finally giving up.  She has him broke and in debt from all the things she has to have and demands.  It is really, really hard to be parents and have to stand and watch.  I love her, too, and wish she could get help and be a better mother.  I think it is too late for her to be a good wife for our son.
I watched the show and I can say I feel bad for your son.  It sounds like he needs to take a stand and realize that the only way to get on with his life is to let her go.  He has to realize that you can not make someone do something that they are not ready to do or don't know how to do.  Those children did not ask to come here and they need to be in a home where they have love and peace.  A person is not going to get help unless they want it and sometimes the person has to hit rock bottom.  Your son has to stop going back to her no matter how hard it may be. She knows that he will come back, so why not use him.  Listen some women just are not meant to be a wife or a mother. One thing I have learned from listening and watching Dr. Phil's show, he knows what he is talking about. Children need a secure place to grow and feel loved, they are the ones that the damage is being done to!
 
March 22, 2008, 8:02 pm CDT

He wasn't what I thought he would be.

This topic reminded me of my own marriage which ended about 11 years ago. When we married I thought I was getting a good husband and father. He ended up being an abuser. To me emotionally and sexually to one of my children. It was the most shocking experience I've ever gone through. So I can relate to everything talked about in this subject.
 
March 22, 2008, 9:11 pm CDT

Us too!

Quote From: dixiestrauss

I will be watching this show.  We have a daughter-in-law that this sounds like.  She is unbelievable.  She has separated from our son twice and is divorcing him for the second time.  He keeps going back because he thinks he can make it work for the sake of the children.  He is finally giving up.  She has him broke and in debt from all the things she has to have and demands.  It is really, really hard to be parents and have to stand and watch.  I love her, too, and wish she could get help and be a better mother.  I think it is too late for her to be a good wife for our son.
We also have a daughter-in-law that's out of control as far as rage is concerned. I feel so bad for my son. He tries so hard to keep her from getting angry for the babies sake but she can not control her anger.
She seems to have gotten worse since the twins were born.
I too will be watching this episode.
 
March 22, 2008, 9:29 pm CDT

Yes, having an affair or SWINGING...

Quote From: oldbdynumind

Why did Shawn lose that much weight?   Since he is so weight conscious and is obscessed with his appearance, my guess is  that he is having an affair. 

Now that Shawn lost all that weight, he probably sees a herd of more attactive women attracted to him.  SO he is probably playng the field left and right.  That is sad, when one forges why one married their mate and choose trash that are just interested in exteeriorness, when his wife at home fell in love for his inside, what makes hi aperson., not the package.
 
March 23, 2008, 1:27 am CDT

I totally relate

I am in the exact same situation right. I met ,in husband in college ,we dated for 3yrs,we'v been married for 2.After all the time I took to get to know him, I still cant believe how much he's changed. He says he loves me, but will not make any changes or make any sacrifices to make our marriage work. I feel I'm the only one present in this relationship now.I acant understand what happened and I'm now thinking about Checking out.

I'm so looking forward to that show

 
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