Topic : 08/19 Tired of Being a Mom

But, how does one just BECOME that kind of "good parent"...do you REALLY think this is a matter of just being lazy or something?

It isn't hard to be a good parent...matter of being lazy- no .... Self absorbed - yes. 

I think most people (at least the ones I know) are have always been compassionate to teen mothers unless they are self absorbed and put their "fun" before of the welfare of the child.  Most people criticize those young mothers who go out partying and leaving their child home with Grandma and Grandpa all the time... those who aren't patient with their babies and those who live on welfare having baby after baby.  Maybe it is different where you live.

As for my abortion talk... it goes right along with what you said about if it were Obama's daughter.  It is part of who he is and like it or not, my putting it on this board or any other one is up to me.  Thanks for your concern though.  I addressed your point in my post also so I wasn't avoiding anything.

But, how does one just BECOME that kind of "good parent"...do you REALLY think this is a matter of just being lazy or something?

It isn't hard to be a good parent...matter of being lazy- no .... Self absorbed - yes. 

I think most people (at least the ones I know) are have always been compassionate to teen mothers unless they are self absorbed and put their "fun" before of the welfare of the child.  Most people criticize those young mothers who go out partying and leaving their child home with Grandma and Grandpa all the time... those who aren't patient with their babies and those who live on welfare having baby after baby.  Maybe it is different where you live.

As for my abortion talk... it goes right along with what you said about if it were Obama's daughter.  It is part of who he is and like it or not, my putting it on this board or any other one is up to me.  Thanks for your concern though.  I addressed your point in my post also so I wasn't avoiding anything.

Why are we trying so hard to prevent teen pregnancy, then turn around and say that most people are sympathetic to teen mothers?  Teens are not ready to be mothers.  If teens get married because of a pregnancy, it is much more likely that the marriage will end in divorce.  If there is no marriage, then who does raise the baby?  The teen?  Only if they live on welfare.  So, it would be daycare, or a grandparent, maybe a combination of supports if the the teen is lucky. 

It is so unfair to an unborn child brought into this world with more challanges than the average, which are enough.

I would favor giving the baby up for adoption, if abortion was against the teen's beliefs, ( not the family beliefs) the one who must carry the child, and bear the responsibility.  HER CHOICE! 

What happens to education?  Unless the family is well off, that child and that teen are really not given a fair playing field.

I don't look down on pregnant teens, I feel very sorry for them. Criticize is a harsh word, but don't we as parents, encourage our teens not to become pregnant?  So in saying that, isn't it being critical of the situation, just not any individual?  Don't get pregnant...use protection...all these things we tell our teens are critical by the fact that we put teen pregnancy into the negative.  Why?  Maybe because teen pregnancy is a negative.

Being a mother is hard.  How does a teen have time to know if she is mother material when those of us who have much greater maturity have trouble in deciding?  Very often, even with having a husband and planned pregnancy, children are very draining, and we stop after one or two because we know it is just not in us to have more.

Child abuse is higher amongst teen mothers.  The maturity is not there.  I hope that the stresses of motherhod are not undermined by Bristol Palin's teen pregnancy.  It is not fashionable just because it was flaunted at the Republican Convention. 

Being a mother is hard, and when the word selfish comes up, who could be more selfish as a mother as Sarah Palin?  Her career took priority over her daughter's privacy.  Mothers make sacrifices?  Some do, some don't.  Some get called lazy when they cave under a joyless life.  Others get applauded when they forge ahead with their career at the expense of their child and grandchild.  That unborn baby will have no doubts he or she was conceived out of wedlock, and neither will anyone who meets him or her. 

We seem to be very selective in which mothers we judge and which mothers we call selfish. 

I was called many things for stating my opinions that were honest.  Even someone as "selfish" as myself, would not do that to either of my daughters.  They would come first, as would my grandchild, and I would keep a low profile out of respect for the privacy of the innocents. 

Maybe I am not such a selfish mother as some people think.

Thank you thank you thank you.  I am a single mom of two incredible childrena nd I love them more then anything else in the world.  Lately I have been feeling like I need a break and feeling horrible about it.  It doens't mean I don't love my children.  It doesn't mean I don't want my children and it sure doesn't mean I am attempting to squander my duties as a parent.  What it means is that I am a human being that needs some relaxation time, some emotional refill time, some sleep! Parenting is hard work.  Even with married couples they need to ensure that they have alone time and alone "couple" time because hopefully some day the kids will leave the nest and you don't want o be looking at your spouse and saying "who is that?"

I wish more people would be supporitive and less demeaning and critical of people who finally admit when they are overwhelmed and need a break.  That is not a failure on the part of the parent.  It's not a lack of owning up to parental repsonsibility - it's a fact of life that no ONE person can do it all.  It takes a village to raise a child.....and back in the day people used to have the villages available to do so.  In Amercian society at least many women are made to believe or feel that if they CAN'T do it all (super PTA mom, work full time, manage a house, and in my case be both mom and dad) that they are inadeqyuate.  BSEven stay at home mom's can't do it all by themselves.  Why can't we as a society learn to work together and be supportive and assistive instead of so critical of what everyone is doing.

SO I second the two cents.... and I too need a serious break.....