Topic : 08/19 Tired of Being a Mom

I wanted to post some info on Austism for whomever's interested (I think the mom had a child with autism, and I was curious, so this is what I found):

http://www.autismsource.org/  (has a few chapters of support groups for autistic families)

http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer

http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/family_services/index.php

http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/

http://www.autism.com/autism/first/adviceforparents.htm

http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

Hope these are useful!

I was a mother with 4 under 5 years ( all grown now).  I always wondered where the control was in my home.  The kids active and healthy .  House a mess. Couldn't invite people in because "it was my fault" the house was in disorder. 

  I tell you it was a crazy time.  I wanted to run away many times.  After all these years I have come to the conclusion I just didn't have enough support from my husband.  It was all me.  Dishes, cleaning, mowing the lawn, repairing bikes, doorknobs, painting and any other task needed at home and working a 40 hr week.

  GIRLS GET UP AND TELL THAT GUY TO HELP!!!!!!!

The kids are grown now but let me tell you the grandchildren are better than my kids.  HAVE FUN!

   You might want to check with your family doctor.  Having 4 kids, starting at the age of 20, it's possible you might be experiencing post partum depression.  If you are crying a lot or non-stop, and thinking of running away often, your brain could be a bit "off" bio-chemically. Please look into that as well.  Dr. Phil is right, you need to take care of you first, so that your kids can have a happy Mom.  4 kids IS chaos, no doubt about it.  But with scheduling your kids time for: chores, fun with you (board games, going to parks with them, picnics, biking), play time with their Dad, etc..... it can be more "organized chaos".  Good luck to you.  Join a mom's group also.  Knowing your not alone in ur overwhelmed feelings is key.  Put a chart up to schedule all your kids daily routines and activities, and I think you'll see things MUCH brighter.  If kids are fighting too much, running around, jumping on furniture...pretty much they are telling PARENTS they are BORED!, and need creative outlets.  Your kids are your blessings from God, so cherish every moment with them (they fly the nest sooner than you can imagine).  Take care,  Andrea :) 

There is such a thing that is called people first language, which Dr. Phil did not use. The thought is that people with disabilities are people first, but when everyone describes them they list the disability first. Once you think about it, it makes so much more sense to say the boy has Downs Syndrome and Autism. Rather than what Dr. Phil Stated a Down Syndrome and Autistic son, which is also commonly used by others.

Which brings me to the point that Dr. Phil mentioned but I think more attention needed to be put on such, how will the boy feel to be in a different bed? I heard a lot of talk about what this was doing to the mother the father and the sister what about the little boy that has no voice. He is still a boy who happened to be given these disabilities. Many of us will never understand why a child would smear feacies all over. But in his mind there is a reason, finding the reason is hard, but he isn't doing it to make life difficult for the familiy.

I have a daughter who was born with multiple anomalies and cognitive impaired, she is now 11. I also have a son who is 7 and a daughter who is 3. I have always thought about the impact of my 2 younger children by having a sibling with special needs. At the same time I think about the impact on my daughter by having 2 siblings who are typically developing. My heart breaks for them all but as a parent I'm compelled to have their experiences be positive.

I understand the difficulties that the parents and the family are experiencing and don't pass judgment but I wanted to remind everyone to think about how the child with a disability feels as well as all children.

      Cyndi has "a tough row to hoe."  It is a difficult problem, much harder than most mothers of "normal" children can even comprehend. 

      My first child was a full-term still birth.  That means that the baby died as my labor began.  It plain broke my heart.  Two years later, I had my daughter.  Two years later, I had my son.  Because their older brother had died before he even got a chance to live, I treasured my children.  I understand how Cyndi feels because I had two special needs children.    

       Prayer alone is fine, but what Cyndi needs is a support group.  She needs to know and communicate with other mothers in her situation.  The problem is Cyndi is not an evil or uncaring mother.   If you are "blessed" with a special needs child, merely getting the required help takes months and months.  Help does not come knocking on your door.  It is months and months of paperwork. Agency after agency will examine your child.  That's months and months and months and months . . .