Topic : 08/19 Tired of Being a Mom

I don't understand why so many people are angry at these women who are at their witts end.  We don't know how they judge themselves every minute of every hour of every day for feeling the way they do.  God did not trust me enough to give me a child with severe problems because he knows I am not capable of handling the situation.  Don't you think God would have only given these (in His eyes) perfect children to those mother's who He trusts the most?   It is not by mistake children are born to certain parents. 

 

It doesn't make them bad people when they have their time of frustration.  It only helps the parents and children to sympathize with the parent and offer love, support and suggest advise. 

 

I am proud of the way these parents are asking for help from the best.

These sites might help someone.

www.okabc.org

www.radkid.org

www.attachment.com

www.attach.org

 

I can fully understand the Moms on today`s show.  Yes, we know what having a child entails, but it doesn`t bely the fact that some situations can be more stressful than others.  My husband took over the care of the daughter of his fiancee who died in a car accident.  Why?  Because she had DS and her natural father did not want anything to do with her because of her disability.  When I met him, he was caring for her himself, we married, had twins (one of which was stillborn), and still have Crystal.  Crystal has been recently diagnosed with early onset dementia and her ablities are quickly disintegrating.  I find it frustrating and very emotional to deal with her on a daily basis and she is much better functioning than Alex.  Thank you Dr. Phil for giving them the resources that they will need for Alex to blossom.  Crystal does not even want to go to respite care because she thinks `we are giving her away".  I can truly relate to how Alex`s parents feel, they do not want to give up on their child.  I cannot give up on Crystal either.  I hope that Alex does go into an institution, one that will allay the fears that his parents feel and have some `holiday" time at home when they are more rested and better able to cope with the situation, and Alex may have learned better communication skills as well.  (You would be surprised at what they can accomplish when someone who is not so emotionally vested, and trained, can teach them.)  When you are exhausted, both mentally and physically, you are doing no good, either to yourself or to Alex.  My prayers are with you, for I have walked a mile in your shoes and hope that you don't give up.  Alex was put into your life for a reason.  May God bless you for all you have done.

Ok yeah there are those days when being a mom really sucks, we all have them and for those who say they don't they are liars. But your a mom. You have the greatest gift anyone could ever have right there in front of you. I had to let my children live with their father for a few years before I got my daughters back and I am thankful everyday that I have them with me and I wouldn't trade a moment of it for the single life. I see our single friends and I feel bad for them. Most of their time is spent alone or searching for that perfect one. I am on my second marriage and it hurts that I had to have my tubes tied in my previous marriage so now my husband and I are unable to have a child of our own. But seeing that between the two of us we have 9 children (my 7 and his 2) I think we have been blessed enough. There is a country song out there and I am not sure who sings it but one of the lines is "It's hard to beleive that your going to miss this." And that is so true I miss my kids being babies holding them, reading to them, rocking them to sleep. But then I am also thankful that they are all happy and healty and even though they are growing up so fast they will always be my babies.

 

Amanda N.

Shelby Twp, MI

And I agree with you about women who become mothers because it was expected of them and/or  it never occurred to tem not to have children.

 

Sad, esp. for the children.

 

       I believe Cyndi feels guilty enough.  She doesn't need any of us to slather her with any more.

       Whenever you look at Alex, remember Helen Keller.  Things looked truly bleak for her.  She was five years old, and unable to communicate with her own family.  She "chose" to be dirty, a terror at the dining room table, and generally nasty.  Her mother felt terrible.  She couldn't cope with it all, anymore.  She sent for a teacher at a school for the blind.  She was determined to do the best for Helen.

       Alex needs The Miracle Worker just as much as Cyndi does.

I'm so sad to see there are mother's out there that want to call it quit's,I am a mother with a child of Cerebral Palsy and let me say in the beginning I diddn't know how to be a parent of a disabled child at 19yr.But I can honestly say there's no way I would give my child up. He gives me more  strength then i could need.I have learned alot about being a real mom in the last year and a half and been put through some horrific situtsations that I wish upon no one else would endure.But being a mom is so rewarding that i think I was Blessed with my children.And even more blessed with my son...

Dr Phil,

I watched your segment today and all that I could think was that what you should be focusing on is the LACK of services available to families of children with disabilities! What the proper supports and services in place, a mom would NOT be at the end of her rope; but in most states, obtaining adequate and appropriate services is a major challenge. Your show could perform a major service to the parents in this country who are struggling with their disabled children by challenging states to step to the plate and actually assist families and the children who so desperately need their help.

From the Heart,

Karen M. Clay
Michael's MOM

when womenand men who are not cut out to be parents, and  some who even feel it in their bones, go out and have kids anyway, for social, religious and family reasons.

If this woman thinks she can't handle her daughter now, wait until she turns into a teenager. This women needs to buck it up and stop being selfish and acknowledge that she is playing favorites.  There should be resources for all of them to get the help  they need. I hope and pray Dr. Phil can do what he does best for the benefit for voices unheard.  This infuriates me to no end that one can adopt without researching what they will face, or get help before they do it. It is not like a pet from the pound that if you don't like it, you can return it. Wow!