Topic : 08/19 Tired of Being a Mom

It has nothing to do with not being compassionate.  It's about parents telling their children that they hate them and don't want them.  I know that no one is perfect besides Jesus.  I am probably one of the most compassionate and tender hearted people you would ever meet.  My heart just goes out to these kids.  I do know that sometimes you get frustrated and at your wits end.  That is when you take a step away and get some perspective.  NOT TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR CHILDREN!   

I know I should be delighted that my daughter is healthy and for the most part happy all the time.  She is really a pretty good kid, especially for being two years old.  She has occasional temper tantrums, but I do realize she is only trying to find herself at a trying time in her short little life.  I just can't get over the fact that the only support I have is from my mom and sister-in-law.  My husband is constantly using his job as an excuse for not giving me some time without our daughter.  I am over at my mom's house an average of 5 times a week, just to get some help.  She doesn't take her much to give me time alone...she has her own life as well.  My sister-in-law watches her a couple times a month, but I feel guilty leaving our daughter with her all of the time due to the fact that she has five kids of her own. 

My husband works six days and is off for three and then six nights and off for three, so I do realize that his job takes up a lot of his time.  But you would think that because he is gone for those six days he would want to spend more time with our daughter on his days off.  I am constantly asking him to help me out with her and give me a break, but I am lucky to get time for a shower three times a week.  He might get her ready for bed one time while he's home, but that only takes about twenty minutes.  He is always undmining my authority as well.  I say one thing and he does the opposite.  If she wants a cookie and I tell her no because dinner won't be long, he gets her a cookie just to keep her quiet.  On top of the fact that I don't get the support I need from him with our child, he refuses to even feed the dog or take out trash when he's here.  He's always making excuses as to why he can't take our daughter when he goes somewhere or he'll make an excuse as to why he can't take out the trash, or he'll just say he'll do it later and then doesn't.  Because of all of this I have no social life and the only public place I go is Wal-Mart.  Our community is very small and doesn't offer any mommy and me classes or things to do with your kids, so we just seem to disappear into the woodwork.  I feel like I take out my frustrations and anger on my daughter way more than I should. 

What do I do with a husband who doesn't listen/care, and in a place where I have no other form of support?

I often wonder why women are so hesitant to get help with problems with themselves or their children. I know I did when I had serious issues. I think society and the risk of failure stops women and mothers from getting help sooner until they reach the state that these moms are in. If we teach this in school and in our homes maybe sociey would be better. Other cultures believe and hold onto family values, such as the somaian and asian way of life.

Mother's who are at home bearing the brunt of the load get depressed and they need the help, and confidence to stay strong. I pray for all of you and hope you get the assistance you need. It can only get better from here. (When Dr. Phil helps) Thank God for people like Dr. Phil and other mom's who reach out. I had it for me and it did not stop my divorce, but it helped my family.