Topic : 08/19 Tired of Being a Mom

There has to be a balance in life, including for Moms.  I do not think it is selfish to have some time for yourself  or buy something for yourself if you are a Mom.  It is okay for parents to hire a sitter so that they can have some "couple" time together.  Children should learn that parents have needs too.

Again, it is all about balance.  If a parent is never home and not taking proper care of her kids then that is totally wrong.  But for anyone to come on here and expect a Mom to be on the job 24/7/365 without any sort of down time, then that is totally unrealistic and unfair.

I know that having time for myself has made me a better parent. Those of you who think that taking that ime is wrong; I would say to you..YOU try being on the mothering job24/7/365 and let me know if you feel that just might want a little time off for yourself. 

I too adopted 2 children from Ukraine that were 18 mo old at the time.  We have been home for nearly 5 1/2 years now and they will turn 7 next month.  I love these kids and they can be so loving, but I am basically a single mom due to my husband deciding that money is more important than our family.  During the past 5 years, we have discovered that both children have sensory integration disorder, needed speech therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy.  In the past 3 years we have also needed lots of psychological help for my son too.  He has alcohol related neurodevelopmental disorder, and are now testing for asperbers syndrome.  He would throw these rages that would wear out any normal person to a frazzle.  We drive 2 hours from home to get the psychological help he needs because no one in our area knows what to do to help.  I am so tired just from driving.  When we put them into preschool thinking they could use social skills and get friends, I received calls constantly for the past 3 years about things my son was doing that went against the rules, or against their grain in general. This year (kindergarten) we placed him in a school for kids with special needs (for a mere $12,000 a year), but there hasn't been one phone call complaining about anything he does.  I have to drive 23 miles each way to get him there.  They love him there.  There is a 2:1 student teacher ratio and they know how to handle him.  It has been a blessing in deed.  In the process I feel like he has needed so much that I don't give my daughter of the same age what she needs.  They have basically been twins and don't know what to do when they aren't with the other one.  So this has been very hard on her.  She is getting rebellious now because "he gets all of the attention". 

I am so exhausted and now being tested for narcolepsy because I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. 

I just want to make sure that we are doing the right things for my kids.  I have done everything if it was available to me.  I feel lost a lot because no one ever seems to know what to do to really find out what our problems are.  But at the same time I am so tired I get angered very easily, and feel like I am complaining all the time.  My husband just thinks things are fine and doesn't understand why I feel so stressed.  That angers me as well.  I always have to run our household plans as if my husband isn't home.  I can't depend on him for any of the appointments or to watch the children while I leave.  I have to get sitters for nearly everything that I can't take them to.

Our community has many children from Ukraine and there are many of us in the same situation now.  Mainly after the children are becoming on school age.  The people who adopted the older kids had an idea of the behaviors, but thinking we were getting younger ones we thought we would be getting them early enough that we wouldn't have them.  But we have definitely found otherwise.  We have started a local online support group just so we can lean on each other.  That has been nice, but of course not the answer to all of our issues. 

I will share with them this story being on the air.  Maybe we can learn something new.  We just feel like our resources are exhausted.  I wish there was a body scan that we could do to tell us what we have and need to do for it.  If it could just be that simple.

Connie, KY

Mom to 2 Ukrainian children

I'm so sorry I didn't know you where pulled off the streets for this show!! I thought you had to write in call in, be interveiwed for all the quotes they posted on you? and then fly out for the show, sign a contract, and walk on stage, sit your but down and put your life out there. Thats not how it happen?

hmmmmmmmmm, I guess the quotes they have you saying are not true, you haven't left twice and your not thinking about leaving again for good. guess your time would be spent better by posting the Dr. Phil show and asking they to remove your false quotes,

and once again its not that your tired, or you need a break from time to time, its that you are scaring your children with leaving because their so hard to handle at times. You don't get a pat on the back for doing that, you get what the hell is wrong with you. A parent leaving is one the most scarest thing in a child life, besides death. oh I forgot you said part of you has died already. That was great Info. it really need to be said at the expence of your children well being.

I'm sure the kids are being at their best, and so is your hubby, you have scared them straight, they don't want their mommy they love to walk out on them.

I'm seeing a pattern here with you... your not listening to the whole story. Just taking a piece of one sentence or thought and foolishly elaborating it on. You obviously haven't read the rest of my posts where I explained exactly what I said and meant regarding the show so until you do so, maybe you should stop trying to talk about things you know nothing about. You seem to have some issues that maybe you can write in and ask for help with yourself. Oh wait, I guess your above all that.

Your throwing out accusations and and exaggerated statements that have no basis or merit so move on and worry about yourself and your own kids, if you have any. Good Luck to you dear.

I'm seeing a pattern here with you... your not listening to the whole story. Just taking a piece of one sentence or thought and foolishly elaborating it on. You obviously haven't read the rest of my posts where I explained exactly what I said and meant regarding the show so until you do so, maybe you should stop trying to talk about things you know nothing about. You seem to have some issues that maybe you can write in and ask for help with yourself. Oh wait, I guess your above all that.

Your throwing out accusations and and exaggerated statements that have no basis or merit so move on and worry about yourself and your own kids, if you have any. Good Luck to you dear.

So what story is true? Because your story you told the Dr. Phil. show, contradicts the story you are telling now.  did you or didn't you tell a Dr. Phil staff member you walked out on your family twice and are thinking about doing it again this time for good. what part was exaggerated?

 what part of the Info or  Quotes the show gives out that was foolish elaborated on and without merit.  what where you misstated on? because all your post mean nothing without clearing up what you said or didn't say before and on the show.

so clear it up, stop going around it..

Charity,

I just wanted to offer my support despite getrealtime's adversity.  I think you're a great mom and admire the ability to look good while being a mom- that's not easy. Everyone gets stressed out and you NEED time for yourself or you'll go crazy.  At least you got help, and I support you, Robyn, and Cyndi!

God bless!

Charity,

I just wanted to offer my support despite getrealtime's adversity.  I think you're a great mom and admire the ability to look good while being a mom- that's not easy. Everyone gets stressed out and you NEED time for yourself or you'll go crazy.  At least you got help, and I support you, Robyn, and Cyndi!

God bless!

I have cleared it up on a few different posts. If you chose not to read them my dear, then that is your problem and not mine. You seem to have ALOT to say about things which you know very little about. Go back and read my other posts to clear things up for you, or don't. I could care less either way.

I am sorry that I caused so much tention and irritation and anger for you. Do you wanna talk to someone about that? I have found that, besides you, the vast majority of people on here, once hearing more and more from the show moms and others, have becoming increasingly supportive and willing to open up and share helpful thoughts and ideas. Have a great day! =)