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Topic : 03/31 Bruised and Battered

Number of Replies: 137
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:25:53 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Brutal assaults, violent outbursts and death threats -- not the behavior you would expect from your spouse. But what if the person who's supposed to love, honor and cherish you becomes the person you fear the most? Dr. Phil's guests say they know what it's like to live with a ticking time bomb who could snap at any moment. Jaycee says the man she married was a calm gentleman who never raised his voice. When his controlling ways became apparent just months into the marriage, she became suspicious but never expected him to hunt her down, shoot her and leave her for dead. Her ex-husband is now behind bars, but why does Jaycee still fear him? Jaycee's three children were traumatized when their mother was gunned down and still worry for her safety. What does Dr. Phil implore her to do in order to heal her family? Then, Keri says she's been beaten and choked by her husband, Henry. She says she fears dying by his hands, so why has she taken him back numerous times? Henry admits he's pushed his wife around but says Keri always strikes the first blow. He wants to reconcile with her, but are they ready to live under the same roof? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 4, 2008, 9:40 am CDT

FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE - ESTABLISH GOOD CREDIT HISTORY

Women can invest, save, and handle debt just as well and skillfully as any man.  Why would anyone think differently?  One of my favorite books for learning how the credit scoring system works: 

 

  

Women and Money:  Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny by Suze Orman

 

The Road To 850:  Strategies For Increasing Your Credit Scores by Al Bingham

 

Receive a free copy of your credit report: 

www.annualcreditreport.com

 

Receive an accurate copy of your credit score for a fee (or ask your lender): 

www.myfico.com

 

 

A common problem among the general public is the misunderstanding and misinformation about the free credit reports.  In 2003 Congress passed the Fair Credit Reporting Act (known as the FACT Act) which allows everyone the right to one free annual credit report from each credit bureau.  Everyone should utilize this opportunity to review the information from each of the three major credit bureaus - Experian, Equifax and TransUnion. 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
April 4, 2008, 11:37 am CDT

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER - MOSTLY WOMEN

Quote From: ramair

Why this constant, tunnel-visioned focus and women at the receiving end of domestic abuse? Some women dish it out, too. On their husbands and boyfriends, children, and elderly parents or grandparents. Take note, Dr Phil. You can ignore it if you want to. But, you can't ignore it out of existance.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

The Psychology of Female Violence:  Crimes Against the Body by Anna Motz MAYBE Whatever Mother Says by Wensley Clarkson MAYBE A Child Called It:  One Child's Courage to Survive by David Pelzer OR Female Serial Killers:  How and Why Women Become Monsters by Peter Vronsky

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman

 

Overcoming Passive-Aggression:  How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships...by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin

 

High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison:  Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak  

 

 

Some of the story is typical:  feelings of insecurity contributing to destructive behaviors such as promiscuity, manipulations, self-abuse, rage attacks, revenge, addictions, and eating disorders.  The extreme behaviors of BPD constitute the high drama in the stories of those who endure its ravages.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
April 7, 2008, 9:41 am CDT

Thanks Dr. Phil....

Thank you Dr. Phil.

 

Thank you for this show.

 

Thank you for bringing on .... the expert on stalking.

 

Thank you for introducing your panel of consultants.

 

I've noticed you're also showing and referring to information and resources from National Experts that you  put up on a screen for your guests and the audiences to experience while doing your shows.

 

We are seeing more and more of this , THANK YOU.

 

Also you're using the experts in some of your 'We Are Going to Deal With It NOW' shows, I thank you for that also.  Most especially when dealing with labels such as sociopath, and psychological profiles.

 

Lots of good things happening going forward.

 

Lots of good resources and solid facts.

 

Lots of good things.

 

This topic today is most especially important to get out there.

 

Thank you for continuing to do these shows.

 

THIS IS TRULY AN EPIDEMIC.   

 

WE MUST ERADICATE IT FROM SOCIETY.

 

 

Many women and children are dying at the hands of their  husbands and fathers.

 

 

My deepest appreciation and thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
April 7, 2008, 2:06 pm CDT

Response to Ramair

Quote From: ramair

Well, I'm a woman with no desire to slap Hank! He's right that no one should be abusing anyone. 
Slap was used hypothetically.  Notice the italics.  You are correct, no one should be abusing anyone.
 
April 10, 2008, 1:54 pm CDT

Terrible, Scary and True

I strongly encouraged my kids, 18 and 20 to watch this show with me.  I kinda pushed the issue, so they did.  I wanted them to see it is not love, it is not desire for you that drives these people to batter and to abuse.  It wasn't only for my daughter..my son as well...if your "love" of your life hits you, run like hell, because it starts somewhere...and often ends up exactly like what we saw on the show...

Figuring the ounce of prevention may be of value, hoping it planted a seed...smacking you around isn't sexy...although I had a few friends during my dating years who thought that "macho" crap was a turn on...and some guys who took it as a challange.  Young and dumb...and full of hormones and fantasy. This was REALITY...

 
April 28, 2008, 2:16 pm CDT

Why Does Keri Keep Taking Henry Back?

 

Keri:

 

Why do you keep taking Henry back?  Not only are you placing yourself in extreme danger, but your kids as well.  I know you know this, & you are ruled by your fear of him.  Each time you show your fear, Henry gets stronger, because he is counting on your fear so he could control & beat you more.  If you were to go before a Judge, guess what the Judge would ask you?  After the abuse, did you continue sleeping with him?  If you have, that means you have forgiven him.  

 

Plan an escape when he is not home & run, don't walk to a Shelter for Battered Woman with your kids.  At least this is a starting place.  You must take control now, or Henry will eat you alive!!!

 

 

 

 
August 28, 2009, 1:20 pm CDT

Abused? Get help

I just want anyone that is being abused to get halp of any kind. I was abused by one of my exes. He only did it once and I made sure it was the last time. He went to jail and i got myself to a safe place. I even moved to another state to get away from the problem. Just a good thing my kids werent there at the time. No matter what state you are in or where you are even in the tiniest towns there are programs to help to get you out of the situation. There is no reason what so ever to stay. 

 

 

D.

 
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