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Topic : 08/14 Hitting Rock Bottom

Number of Replies: 156
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:28:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/02/08) Is your life in the ditch, and you can’t see a way out of the quagmire? Dr. Phil's guests say they've lost money and careers, and now they fear losing their family. Lisa says she feels betrayed because her estranged husband, Anthony, is leading a double life. She says Anthony had a great career as an accountant, but was secretly gambling their money away. Now he’s jobless, homeless and living in their minivan, which is about to be repossessed. Anthony invited the Dr. Phil cameras along to capture his life on the streets, and you won’t believe where he winds up at the end of the day! Anthony says he knows his gambling addiction is out of control and says he wants to be back home with his wife and four kids. Can he cash in his chips for good, or will his addiction cost him his family? Then, Shauna says her life is unbearable. She and her husband, Kevin, have filed for bankruptcy, the IRS is knocking at their door, and they’re taking care of a terminally ill son. Shauna says Kevin’s heavy drinking only adds to the chaos, but Kevin doesn’t think he has a problem. Is Shauna overreacting, or is Kevin an alcoholic in denial? Can this marriage be saved? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 2, 2008, 6:58 am CDT

Sick Sick Sick

Amazing!!! The stigma attached to a gambler is so much worse than a alcoholic or drug attic. Dr Phil tore into the guy because of his gambling problem and no help unless he acts rsponsible for 30 days. Tell a alcoholic to live next door to a package store for 30 days without drinking. He needs help now! A gambler is 25% more likely to commit suicide than a a drug addict or drinker. Thats pretty low. As a gambler who has constantly battled gambling addiction for over 22 years (39 now), and grew up with a family of gambling, I know what it feels like to want to eat a bullet because of stupid mistakes. Dr Phil makes resources available to a DAD to DAD but a gambling addict (a dad too) has to prove he has the will to survive. A gambler has no wilI, all he has is dreams. I agree with Dr Phil most of the time, but I think he left this guy hang out to dry.
 
April 2, 2008, 7:33 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: ramair

But, does your situation put you in a position to dictate that Shauna should stay with Kevin? How do your, and her, husbands compare?
Maybe he's drinking to escape the pain. That's not right but it does happen. I'm by no means an alcoholic but I've had a really rough life and it ain't getting any better. If I do right or wrong, the end result is the same. It helps me to escape into a bottle for a night or two. Marriage is for better or worse. If the situation has caused him to so much pain that he needs to escape we need to remember he's hurting too. Like i said, it's not right. I'm not condoning what he does but I do understand it. Life just gets to be too much sometimes and though diving into the bottle may not be the best way, for some of us, it's the only way we've found. I won't go into details of my situation because it's not relevant to this message board but I will tell you that I am bipolar and I can't get medication for it. Sometimes I use alcohol to keep me from bouncing too high or low. It doesn't work great but it makes me think it does!
 
April 2, 2008, 8:21 am CDT

She's not the only one who's hurting

We need to all take a step back and realize, this father is in pain too. I'm absolutely not condoning what he is doing but when you reach the end of your rope and you feel you have nowhere to turn, it's amazing where you find relief. Yes, her first priority needs to be her child but her second needs to be her husband. Marriage is for better or worse and a sick child is the worst. Maybe he's not dealing with it the best way, but maybe it's the best way he can.
 
April 2, 2008, 8:55 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: specialbabymom

As a mother of a terminally ill, mentally/physically disabled child I have to say that I think everyone should stop insisting that Shauna just walk away from her husband-as if it would be that simple. Unless you have been where she is, you have no idea how scary the world looks when you picture yourself alone in it with a very ill child. She cannot work full time without a lot of support and disability does not even begin to pay a fraction of what it takes to raise a special child. Regardless of his drinking problem, she has a special bond with Kevin that is ONLY formed between the two parents of a special child, and it would be difficult for anyone to understand that unless they have walked in their shoes. They formed their son out of love, have cared for him and each other throughout his difficult life, and sometimes the strain of that pushes people do turn to things they should not. I will pray for this family to find the help they need-for Kevin, Shauna and their baby boy-hopefully together.

I cannot even begin to imagine how it must be to be a parent of a child in this condition! People cope in different ways and I can't judge them.

 

But, Dr. Phil said one very powerful thing to this father when he said something to the effect of: "You don't have the time to be drunk because you do not know how much more time with this child you have". I'm hoping that the look on this father's face when he heard that meant that it was an "aha" moment and that he got it!

 

My prayers are with every single parent out there who is dealing with this situation.

 
April 2, 2008, 9:14 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Maybe he's drinking to escape the pain. That's not right but it does happen. I'm by no means an alcoholic but I've had a really rough life and it ain't getting any better. If I do right or wrong, the end result is the same. It helps me to escape into a bottle for a night or two. Marriage is for better or worse. If the situation has caused him to so much pain that he needs to escape we need to remember he's hurting too. Like i said, it's not right. I'm not condoning what he does but I do understand it. Life just gets to be too much sometimes and though diving into the bottle may not be the best way, for some of us, it's the only way we've found. I won't go into details of my situation because it's not relevant to this message board but I will tell you that I am bipolar and I can't get medication for it. Sometimes I use alcohol to keep me from bouncing too high or low. It doesn't work great but it makes me think it does!

I'm not going to hammer you because you drink....but, I want you to think about something: when you fall into the bottle to escape your problems, those problems are still there when you sober up..only they become worse because you avoid dealing with and SOLVING them! Problems tend to flourish when fertilized with alcohol. 

 

Don't kid yourself that "it's the only way", as you said. I know you know better. Your last sentence tells me that.

 

LOTS of people have a rough life...I'VE had a rough life...so what? You deal with it. What you aren't getting is that every minute you delay dealing with your problems is one more minute of your life that you've wasted. And don't use the excuse that you are bipolar and "cannot get medicine". Of course you can!! You've GOT to know that there are many, many state agencies who will help people with medical care.

 

Stop using excuses, and do something to CHANGE your situation. You are responsible for you. Self-pity is a destructive crippler. 

 
April 2, 2008, 9:28 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: cndrlla

I'm not going to hammer you because you drink....but, I want you to think about something: when you fall into the bottle to escape your problems, those problems are still there when you sober up..only they become worse because you avoid dealing with and SOLVING them! Problems tend to flourish when fertilized with alcohol. 

 

Don't kid yourself that "it's the only way", as you said. I know you know better. Your last sentence tells me that.

 

LOTS of people have a rough life...I'VE had a rough life...so what? You deal with it. What you aren't getting is that every minute you delay dealing with your problems is one more minute of your life that you've wasted. And don't use the excuse that you are bipolar and "cannot get medicine". Of course you can!! You've GOT to know that there are many, many state agencies who will help people with medical care.

 

Stop using excuses, and do something to CHANGE your situation. You are responsible for you. Self-pity is a destructive crippler. 

Ok, actually, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. After I've fought and fought and fought for however long and I'm tired of fighting, I take a night and I go out and get blitzed. Yes, the problems are still there the next day but that's how I escape them for one night. I do not delay dealing with them, I just need a break from fighting my way through life every now and then. Also, I didn't mean it's the only way, I meant for some of us it's the only way WE'VE FOUND. I've tried other things, I've yet to find a better way. Also, I was absolutely not using the excuse that I'm bipolar and can't get medicine. The fact is I AM BIPOLAR. I CANNOT GET MEDICINE. I live in podunk Oklahoma. I have no health insurance. I am epileptic so I can't drive to mental health which is REALLY FAR AWAY. There is no public transportation. There are not resources here for me to get it. But it was not an excuse. I was simply stating that EVERY NOW AND THEN I do use it to help. It cracks me up how you people are so quick to judge. Do you not think I have exhausted EVERY option that I can imagine? I realize you don't know me but if you did you would know I am not one to make excuses. I have been fighting for 31 years to try to change my situation. Most of my problems are due to outside forces, they were not any choice of my own. It's great that you have this ability to get your life out of the ditch. It's awesome that your mind works that way and you probably have family and friends and your life is in order. Not all of us work that way. I would give ANYTHING to find my way out of this but I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. Obviously you've never been in my shoes. Obviously you have no idea what it's like for your entire life to be screwed no matter what you do to try to fix it. This started long before I was ever even able to make a decision on my own. Why don't you people that know it all teach some of us who are a little confused.
 
April 2, 2008, 9:30 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: thedesertdawg

Everybody always misquotes The Bible on this one, it actually says, "The love of money is the root of all evil."  the way things are set up in this world we need money to live.  Why do you think all preachers include offerings in their services?  And about ,"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven."  Here is the entire passage of scripture                                 Mark 10:25-27
25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

26 The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?"

27 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
NIV
Money in the hands of the right poeple can do alot of good and if more Christians would pray for more money and the wisdom to use it right it could be good.

I agree with your last sentence.

 

Look at all the good that has been done by very wealthy people ( Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey for example) who have been willing to share their wealth and use their blessings to bless others.

 

And then you have those who are so greedy that they wouldn't give a penny away if their lives depended upon it.....we all will have to answer some day for our choices.

 

It's not how much money you have, but what you do with it that counts.

 
April 2, 2008, 9:52 am CDT

30 Days

It is sad that the gentleman with the gambling problem has to give Dr Phil 30 days to prove he wants to get better!  This is not what you tell an addict...You give me 30 days and I will help you.  Thats a recipe for death. Many addicts dont even admit they have a problem until two or three weeks into treatment.  Just because he isnt shooting up our drinking into oblivion doesnt mean he isnt on the brink of death. Sham eon Dr Phil for discriminating addictions.  This man needs help NOW, as does his family, not 30 days after Dr Phil says he has been good enough or qualifies for help.  I am an alcoholic and if some one said that to me  I can gaurentee you I would be dead now. Thank God no one said that to me because it would have been impossible.
 
April 2, 2008, 10:01 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Ok, actually, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. After I've fought and fought and fought for however long and I'm tired of fighting, I take a night and I go out and get blitzed. Yes, the problems are still there the next day but that's how I escape them for one night. I do not delay dealing with them, I just need a break from fighting my way through life every now and then. Also, I didn't mean it's the only way, I meant for some of us it's the only way WE'VE FOUND. I've tried other things, I've yet to find a better way. Also, I was absolutely not using the excuse that I'm bipolar and can't get medicine. The fact is I AM BIPOLAR. I CANNOT GET MEDICINE. I live in podunk Oklahoma. I have no health insurance. I am epileptic so I can't drive to mental health which is REALLY FAR AWAY. There is no public transportation. There are not resources here for me to get it. But it was not an excuse. I was simply stating that EVERY NOW AND THEN I do use it to help. It cracks me up how you people are so quick to judge. Do you not think I have exhausted EVERY option that I can imagine? I realize you don't know me but if you did you would know I am not one to make excuses. I have been fighting for 31 years to try to change my situation. Most of my problems are due to outside forces, they were not any choice of my own. It's great that you have this ability to get your life out of the ditch. It's awesome that your mind works that way and you probably have family and friends and your life is in order. Not all of us work that way. I would give ANYTHING to find my way out of this but I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. Obviously you've never been in my shoes. Obviously you have no idea what it's like for your entire life to be screwed no matter what you do to try to fix it. This started long before I was ever even able to make a decision on my own. Why don't you people that know it all teach some of us who are a little confused.

Okay, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. I just have little patience with people who use lame excuses to justify their destructive behavior......not saying that's you...but, your post hit me that way at first.

 

You say that obviously I've never been in your shoes? Guess again!! You have no idea what all I've been through, even before I, too, had any say in things. However, here's what I know: you can whine about your childhood and blame everything that goes wrong in your adulthood on it, OR, you can grow the heck up, put on your big girl panties and DO something to make your life better....one step at a time.

 

My life is in order because I made it that way!  No one jumped in and fixed things for me.

 

Now, in fairness to you, can you tell me what it is you can't get out of? You say you don't know where to begin. Maybe I can give you a direction in which to go...I don't know. Try me.

 
April 2, 2008, 10:02 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Ok, actually, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. After I've fought and fought and fought for however long and I'm tired of fighting, I take a night and I go out and get blitzed. Yes, the problems are still there the next day but that's how I escape them for one night. I do not delay dealing with them, I just need a break from fighting my way through life every now and then. Also, I didn't mean it's the only way, I meant for some of us it's the only way WE'VE FOUND. I've tried other things, I've yet to find a better way. Also, I was absolutely not using the excuse that I'm bipolar and can't get medicine. The fact is I AM BIPOLAR. I CANNOT GET MEDICINE. I live in podunk Oklahoma. I have no health insurance. I am epileptic so I can't drive to mental health which is REALLY FAR AWAY. There is no public transportation. There are not resources here for me to get it. But it was not an excuse. I was simply stating that EVERY NOW AND THEN I do use it to help. It cracks me up how you people are so quick to judge. Do you not think I have exhausted EVERY option that I can imagine? I realize you don't know me but if you did you would know I am not one to make excuses. I have been fighting for 31 years to try to change my situation. Most of my problems are due to outside forces, they were not any choice of my own. It's great that you have this ability to get your life out of the ditch. It's awesome that your mind works that way and you probably have family and friends and your life is in order. Not all of us work that way. I would give ANYTHING to find my way out of this but I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. Obviously you've never been in my shoes. Obviously you have no idea what it's like for your entire life to be screwed no matter what you do to try to fix it. This started long before I was ever even able to make a decision on my own. Why don't you people that know it all teach some of us who are a little confused.
I too am bipolar and understand drinking to madicate. I just wanted to let you know that you CAN get your medications and for free. You just go to the web and google the website of the company that makes the medication you need and on EVERY pharmasutical website are forms to fill out and give to your Dr to fax in. I AM NOT JUDGING. I did the same thing and I became a bipolar alcohlic. NOTHING got better until I quit drinking period no exuses. Your facts are correct but there is something you can do if you WANT to get better. Good Luck and God Bless.
 
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