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Topic : 08/14 Hitting Rock Bottom

Number of Replies: 156
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:28:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/02/08) Is your life in the ditch, and you can’t see a way out of the quagmire? Dr. Phil's guests say they've lost money and careers, and now they fear losing their family. Lisa says she feels betrayed because her estranged husband, Anthony, is leading a double life. She says Anthony had a great career as an accountant, but was secretly gambling their money away. Now he’s jobless, homeless and living in their minivan, which is about to be repossessed. Anthony invited the Dr. Phil cameras along to capture his life on the streets, and you won’t believe where he winds up at the end of the day! Anthony says he knows his gambling addiction is out of control and says he wants to be back home with his wife and four kids. Can he cash in his chips for good, or will his addiction cost him his family? Then, Shauna says her life is unbearable. She and her husband, Kevin, have filed for bankruptcy, the IRS is knocking at their door, and they’re taking care of a terminally ill son. Shauna says Kevin’s heavy drinking only adds to the chaos, but Kevin doesn’t think he has a problem. Is Shauna overreacting, or is Kevin an alcoholic in denial? Can this marriage be saved? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 2, 2008, 10:27 am CDT

I appreciate your attempt to help

Quote From: newage2329

I too am bipolar and understand drinking to madicate. I just wanted to let you know that you CAN get your medications and for free. You just go to the web and google the website of the company that makes the medication you need and on EVERY pharmasutical website are forms to fill out and give to your Dr to fax in. I AM NOT JUDGING. I did the same thing and I became a bipolar alcohlic. NOTHING got better until I quit drinking period no exuses. Your facts are correct but there is something you can do if you WANT to get better. Good Luck and God Bless.
I really do appreciate your attempt to help but the problem is I HAVE NO DOCTOR. I have no insurance. I have no way to get to any doctors that will see me for free. The pharmaceutical companies can't help me without a prescription and I can't get a prescription without a doctor. There is no public transportation where I live and as I stated I am also epileptic. I have never had a license because of this and I don't even know how to drive if I wanted to break the law and do it without a license. I do not drink regularly or anything like that but points like right now when I've been up for 4 days with my head spinning out of control because I'm trying to figure out ways to fix my problem, a nice big bottle of Jack would help tremendously so I could get some rest. Really, trust me, I've been racking my brain for the longest time now, if there's something else I can do, I haven't found it yet. That is why I posted that, to try to get people to understand, sometimes things just aren't as simple as some "more priviledged folk" tend to think they are.
 
April 2, 2008, 11:05 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: peterspumpkin

I really do appreciate your attempt to help but the problem is I HAVE NO DOCTOR. I have no insurance. I have no way to get to any doctors that will see me for free. The pharmaceutical companies can't help me without a prescription and I can't get a prescription without a doctor. There is no public transportation where I live and as I stated I am also epileptic. I have never had a license because of this and I don't even know how to drive if I wanted to break the law and do it without a license. I do not drink regularly or anything like that but points like right now when I've been up for 4 days with my head spinning out of control because I'm trying to figure out ways to fix my problem, a nice big bottle of Jack would help tremendously so I could get some rest. Really, trust me, I've been racking my brain for the longest time now, if there's something else I can do, I haven't found it yet. That is why I posted that, to try to get people to understand, sometimes things just aren't as simple as some "more priviledged folk" tend to think they are.

Do you live alone? If you don't, someone in your home must have a car...can't they take you to the doctor? How are you providing for yourself? Are you getting any state help? If you are epileptic you must be taking some medication for that....how did you get that medication? A doctor must have prescribed it for you.

 

By the way, among the state services that can be provided for people who need it, is a transportation service that will take you to a doctor....and you don't need insurance.

 

If you have a telephone and a telephone book in your home you have access to any service you need.

 

I hear a lot of "yes, but...." coming out, but not much willingness to take the steps required to change things....only a desire for " a nice big bottle of Jack".  How's that workin' for ya'?

 

No one is saying it's easy.. or simple....so what? From your posts I see that you seem to be educated...you can spell;  you seem articulate...I don't see your situation as hopeless. And that crack about "more privileged folk".....please. you don't have to be privileged to use your head.

 

 

 
April 2, 2008, 11:08 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Ok, actually, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. After I've fought and fought and fought for however long and I'm tired of fighting, I take a night and I go out and get blitzed. Yes, the problems are still there the next day but that's how I escape them for one night. I do not delay dealing with them, I just need a break from fighting my way through life every now and then. Also, I didn't mean it's the only way, I meant for some of us it's the only way WE'VE FOUND. I've tried other things, I've yet to find a better way. Also, I was absolutely not using the excuse that I'm bipolar and can't get medicine. The fact is I AM BIPOLAR. I CANNOT GET MEDICINE. I live in podunk Oklahoma. I have no health insurance. I am epileptic so I can't drive to mental health which is REALLY FAR AWAY. There is no public transportation. There are not resources here for me to get it. But it was not an excuse. I was simply stating that EVERY NOW AND THEN I do use it to help. It cracks me up how you people are so quick to judge. Do you not think I have exhausted EVERY option that I can imagine? I realize you don't know me but if you did you would know I am not one to make excuses. I have been fighting for 31 years to try to change my situation. Most of my problems are due to outside forces, they were not any choice of my own. It's great that you have this ability to get your life out of the ditch. It's awesome that your mind works that way and you probably have family and friends and your life is in order. Not all of us work that way. I would give ANYTHING to find my way out of this but I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. Obviously you've never been in my shoes. Obviously you have no idea what it's like for your entire life to be screwed no matter what you do to try to fix it. This started long before I was ever even able to make a decision on my own. Why don't you people that know it all teach some of us who are a little confused.

By the way, one more thing: you said you "take a night and GO OUT and get blitzed". If you can find your way out of the house to do that, then you can find a way to a doctor.

 

See what I mean about using excuses??

 
April 2, 2008, 12:12 pm CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

How come when originally asked if he had a problem he told Dr. Phil he did- then Dr. Phil said "well on Feb.14 you said you didn't.  Then Dr. Phil blasted him when he said that maybe he didn't?  When Dr.Phil hears the answer he doesn't want until the end of the show he turns the tables and then blasts the guests for it!
 
April 2, 2008, 12:46 pm CDT

Message to Shauna and Husband

I am a mother of a daughter with anencephaly that only lived for 2 hours.  It breaks my heart that you have to go through knowing that your child is terminal, but it breaks my heart more that you aren't finding the joy in each and every moment you have him in your arms.  You and your husband need to stop grieving for what will happen, because there's always time for that, and focus on the moment and the blessing you have to have your child alive right now.  The moment is all you ever have.  Do you want to look back at your time with your child and regret that you were too focused on your pain, frustration, and grief that you totally missed out on the time that you had with him? 

 

Your precious beautiful son is a gift in this world.  Even if he isn't like other children, his spirit is still inside of him, and he chose you as his parents for a reason.  He deserves your love.  He deserves to see the light in your eyes.  He deserves for you to keep believing and hoping for him, because he obviously hasn't given up yet.  Why have you?

 

Live in the moment and love each other, and appreciate the time you have with your son.

 
April 2, 2008, 1:46 pm CDT

Been there......

I married my EX-HUSBAND at the age of 22 and we had a beautiful daughter.  Come to find out she too had a disability, epilepsy.  The doctors believed it was due to his excessive drinking and substance abuse in his younger years (and come to find out, for many years while we were together).  He would drink a gallon of Southern Comfort a night and pass out.  Many times, he would urinate in the bed, or the laundry hamper, or pretty much anywhere else in the house.  The final blow came when in a drunken stupor, he threw the phone through the sliding glass door and attacked me.  I had urged him to seek help, AA; I even went to the AL ANON meetings for family members of alcoholics.  When they told me, the best thing was to wait it out for two years before making a life changing decision, I decided it was not for me.  I booted him out, found a job (I was a stay at home mother) and started my life again, caring for my daughter, alone.  To this day, he does not call, write or have anything to do with his child.   Fortunately, it worked for me.  My daughter outgrew her epilepsy and financially, I am fine.  No one has to deal with living with ANY kind of addict.  There is help for people who truly need and want it.  Don't raise a child in an unhappy or unhealthy home.  The children are more important than anything else.
 
April 2, 2008, 1:52 pm CDT

I Can Relate to Shauna

Shauna'a husband is an alcoholic.  My husband is two years sober.  He no longer blames me for "causing" his drinking, he understands that my reactions are based on his actions.  If he's going to be late, he calls me, not because I ask him to, but because he acknowledges his past behavior and feels that I still may wonder.  In 1999, I lost my daughter, who was special-needs all her life.  That is a huge emotional, physical, and financial responsibility.  Her husband's alcoholism adds to her stress.  Let him go.  If he chooses to, he'll get it right...as my husband did.  She can't fix him.  I believe she's hanging on to him because she fears being alone with her child under the circumstances.  If he doesn't get it right in time, he'll have regrets.  What time is he missing with his terminal child right now, when he's in his alcoholic state?  He needs to put his child and family first.  He's selfish...as all alcoholics are.
 
April 2, 2008, 2:00 pm CDT

I feel for Shauna and Kevin

I just want to say that I understand what they both are going through and pray that they can make it through these trials.  My husband of 4 1/2 years and I have a son that passed away in Oct 2005 from a inoperable brain tumor.  His case was undetected, so his passing nearly happened overnight.  I really don't know if  we would have made it had we known earlier and seen him suffering.  I commend them both for having the strength to do the treatments and take care of their son at home.

 

On the other hand, I can relate to Shauna's feelings of being all alone in the situation.  My husband drinks daily and never seems to think of me or our daughter.  His drinking kept him from spending time with our son... not knowing that we would only have him for 21 months.... and it continues to keep him from spending time with our 1 year old daughter.  I also think that Shauna's disapproval with Kevin in all areas results from the drinking and grief.  If she feels like I do, the anger over the drinking and what it does to their life, pushes her to "hate" much more about him.  My husband is not who he once was either. 

 

I must say she seems so strong, but I know that a person can only handle so much on their own.  I hope that with Dr. Phil's help and the help of the Lord, their marriage can be saved.  I live by the blessed hope that through Christ's sacrifice at Calvary many years ago, I will see my little boy in Heaven one day.  Jesus loves the little children!!

 
April 2, 2008, 2:30 pm CDT

gambling

I have been married to a gambler at times he is in remission and other times he is actively seeking a fix for his addiction.  I can tell you that many times I have wanted to walk away two years ago I seeked out a facility for gambling addicts.  I felt my husband would benefit from a facility that focuses on the addiction of gambling. I found a great facility in Baltimore Maryland called Harbor Pointe it was one of the best things that he did with his life well that was two years ago and to begin to tell you what this addiction has done to our lives financial, emotional, and spritual it was and has been devastating I have been taking Oprah's class new earth and have finally but it into place for me especially now I can now see his pain body. I am sad to say and glad to say my husband had a slip about a month ago he can return to the facility free of charge for more treatment but has decided to do counciling here and I hope he will one day find peace with himself I highly recommend Harbor Pointe and will be grateful forever to them it has started the road of recovery for both my husband and myself and our family good luck
 
April 2, 2008, 2:56 pm CDT

I can't understand how Shauna can keep from...

..beating Kevin to death! My heart is broken for this couple. Their child is dying. No one should ever have to face that, but where does that leave her?? Where is HER escape?? She's desperately trying to care for a dying chld, and she also has to deal with his drinking??

 

My son is autistic. I have serious neurological conditions that can kill me, and for four years, my husband hid at work, even when he didn't have to because he couldn't face life at home. I screamed at him that if I died, so would our son because his father couldn't get his head out of his ass.

 

Thank God he listened. Our son is better, I am better, and our marriage is solid, but this one will fail if he doesn't wake the hell up.

 

LIZARD :(

 
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