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Topic : 08/14 Hitting Rock Bottom

Number of Replies: 156
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:28:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/02/08) Is your life in the ditch, and you can’t see a way out of the quagmire? Dr. Phil's guests say they've lost money and careers, and now they fear losing their family. Lisa says she feels betrayed because her estranged husband, Anthony, is leading a double life. She says Anthony had a great career as an accountant, but was secretly gambling their money away. Now he’s jobless, homeless and living in their minivan, which is about to be repossessed. Anthony invited the Dr. Phil cameras along to capture his life on the streets, and you won’t believe where he winds up at the end of the day! Anthony says he knows his gambling addiction is out of control and says he wants to be back home with his wife and four kids. Can he cash in his chips for good, or will his addiction cost him his family? Then, Shauna says her life is unbearable. She and her husband, Kevin, have filed for bankruptcy, the IRS is knocking at their door, and they’re taking care of a terminally ill son. Shauna says Kevin’s heavy drinking only adds to the chaos, but Kevin doesn’t think he has a problem. Is Shauna overreacting, or is Kevin an alcoholic in denial? Can this marriage be saved? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 29, 2008, 6:58 am CDT

One Day at a Time

 

    My condolences to Shauna for caring for her son, whom is terminally ill.  That is about all she can handle. 

    Perhaps she should let the issue of her husband's drinking rest.  If he refuses to face it, there isn't much she can do to force him.  An alcoholic's problem with alcohol is not having any alcohol.  They never admit they have a problem.   They only want everyone else to shut up and leave them alone with their best friend.

   Shauna has more immediate issues. 

 
March 29, 2008, 8:20 am CDT

Wake up and smell the roses!

My heart hurts for you. There isn't much to say about your husband until he want to get help for himself. Your goal should be yourself and your son that is ill. I have been in your shoes and it does get better. Keep your head up and there is help around the conner.

 
March 29, 2008, 9:06 am CDT

04/02 Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote From: derevna33

 

    My condolences to Shauna for caring for her son, whom is terminally ill.  That is about all she can handle. 

    Perhaps she should let the issue of her husband's drinking rest.  If he refuses to face it, there isn't much she can do to force him.  An alcoholic's problem with alcohol is not having any alcohol.  They never admit they have a problem.   They only want everyone else to shut up and leave them alone with their best friend.

   Shauna has more immediate issues. 

Alcoholism is high on Dr Phil's list of marital deal-breakers. If Kevin is an alcoholic, especially if he's in denial, there's no sense in saving this mockery of a marriage. Hasn't he dragged Shauna low enough already?
 
March 29, 2008, 11:26 am CDT

What does it take?

I grew up with an alcoholic father (bless his soul, may he rest in peace), and I married a man with a drinking problem (he has been sober since October 2007), and now the best man at our wedding is struggling with alcohol.  He's only 43 and he's in complete denial.  He was in the hospital because of a alcohol related seizure that almost killed him.  He was in rehab for 30 days, and then was supposed to be in outpatient rehab, which he doesn't seem to think he needs.  Half of his friends told him not to come around anymore if he drinks, the other half (including me) are trying to save him one day at a time.  His parents can't afford to pick up his tab anymore and they are sick about what has happened to him.  He doesn't seem to want to stop drinking and I fear for his life, or someone else's if he gets behind the wheel and has another seizure, or he's just plain drunk.  I'm trying to send him encouraging messages every day to ask him to be strong and believe in himself.  After the first 4 days he called me every morning, but has since stopped communicating.  Word has it he's drinking by himself all day.  He's a professional chef who's trying to find a job.  He has two young sons (who live in Switzerland with their mom), and my friend lives in the states.  I try to appeal to his love for those boys to get him thru this, but I'm afraid nothing is getting thru to him.  I couldn't save my dad from himself, I'm still with my husband because I think if I wasn't, he'd be in the same place our friend is, but I can't get thru to my dear friend.  My tolerance level has shrunk considerably after dealing with this crap most of my life.  I thought my friend hit rock bottom when he was in the hospital shaking from withdrawals and mumbling, with all his friends and family seeing that.  Apparently I was wrong.  I think I'm going to send a copy of the preview of this show to him so that maybe he'll watch, or I'll show up on his doorstep and we'll watch together.   I look forward to seeing this show.
 
March 29, 2008, 11:36 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Bottom Doctor Hitting Phil Rock. I hear that Rocky Mountain always hit Rock Bottom. But never like this b---

efore. See you on Wednesday April 02nd, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------

 
March 29, 2008, 3:30 pm CDT

Rock Bottom

My prayers are with this family.  I have seen what gambling can do to people and their families. Obviously the child is the number one importance.  On a practical side, I can tell you this, after working at IRS for 15 years and being a self-employed tax consultant, there are ways of working with the IRS.  There is something called an Offer-In-Compromise that they may qualify for where a deal is made with IRS to pay a reduced balance or if that doesn't work there are payment plans.  The IRS offers a taxpayer advocacy office in most states and their web site may be able to give this family guidance.  It won't fix the bigger issues in your lives, but it may relieve a little of the preasure.  I have prepared many offers that have been excepted where huge tax bills have been reduced, others the IRS has not agreed to but payment plans have been worked out.

 

Again,my prayers go out to this troubled family and healing prayers for your son.

 
March 29, 2008, 5:45 pm CDT

We all are getting hit!!

In today's world we are all getting hit some way or another.    This world is revolving around the "Almighty Dollar"!.     But we all have to remember that money is the root of all evil.

 

The thing is with money people are getting to greedy.   "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven."      

 

I have yet to see a U-haul on the back of a herse!

 

I am also at rock bottom but with the power of prayer I am getting by.  For the last 6 months I have been getting my mortgage paid by the grace of God.   So if you pray it will work.  

 

"Ask and you shall receive."   "The Lord will provide."

 

I am single and I am epileptic and having a terrible problem with my memory therefore trying to get a job is very difficult because this so called "Equal opportunity employers" is a bunch of bull!!

 

I have not had a stable job (that lasted a year) since June of 2006.   I have just been rejected by 3 temporary to hire positions because they are not willing to give me that little bit more time to learn it. 

 

The only thing I fear is losing my home that I was able to buy when I had my job with AT&T from 1995 to 2003 at which time they relocated from our state to another, which they always do. 

 

 

 
March 29, 2008, 6:46 pm CDT

Dr. Phil, Please Help!!!

We are too hitting rock bottom.  We got an eviction notice and as I am sending this email, I have 10 days to get out of my home.  I have 3 children living with me and my Fiance.  I had few strokes and my Fiance just had a major surgery and he is not allowed to work at the moment.  He also lost 2 children. They drown on August 27, 2007.  His depression is really bad.  And to complete this problem, he is also going through a custody battle against his ex-mother-in-law.  He is a great guy.  My kids love him and I definitely love him to death.  We want to change our lives but we are so sick and in our county there is not much help.  Please let us know if you could give us any advise what to do since we don't want to loose our sanity through out all these problems.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Michelle from PA

 
March 30, 2008, 12:08 am CDT

Women with alcoholic husbands

I remember when I was in HS back in Yonkers, there was an article that I read in a girl's teen publication about teen drinking.

 

It gave a statistic, as a given, that 90% of husbands will leave an alcoholic wife, but only 10% of women will leave an alcoholic husband.

 

This was given as a reason for girls not to drink to excess.

 

Nowhere was the intrinsic fairness of the situation even questioned!

 
March 30, 2008, 7:50 am CDT

CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS FOUNDATION-GETTING PAST THE GAMES

According to the best estimates, about one in eight  Americans-more than 30 million-are products of alcoholic homes.  The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism says that 6.6 million children are living with an alcoholic parent now.

 

What's life like for them?  Growing up is a constant struggle to cope with disappointment, frustration, stress and embarrassment.  It's a place where a kid's needs are often downplayed or ignored, and the family life centers on the psychological "games" of the drinking parent. 

 

Until recently, children of alcoholics weren't even considered all that different from other children with problems.  They were often ignored by treatment programs, which focused on the alcoholic parent.  In an alcoholic family, a child's need for love, support, and emotional nurturing is often minimized or forgotten altogether in the endless tug-of-war between the family and alcoholism.  For referral services in your area contact:

 

 

Children of Alcoholics Foundation

www.coaf.org  

COAF also offers HelpLink 1-800-359-2623, a 24-hour service

 

Do It Now Foundation

www.doitnow.org

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Common problems of children of alcoholics are:  guilt, anxiety, embarrassment, confusion, inability to trust, frustration, anger and depression.  Probably the most difficult step in the healing process is the first one--for the child to openly identify the problem and begin to talk about his or her sadness, frustration, and anger - with someone they can trust. 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
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