Topic : 08/14 Hitting Rock Bottom

There's nothing wrong with asking for help, but you can't expect it. When it isn't available you can't just fall down and do nothing....and I'm not saying that you are doing that, because I don't know.

I realize that sometimes older people, who have no real knowledge of how things are today, don't understand the details of wills, etc. They are way too trusting because in their day you COULD trust more people. And, I'm wondering: if your mother added your other brother and yourself to her insurance policies, what happened? Was they not honored?

You don't say what your illness is; only that you are disabled...and you don't need to tell me what it is.

All I'm saying is that we are all responsible for ourselves; we can't depend on others. If someone comes along and gives us a hand up, great. But we don't have the right to expect a hand out!  Big difference between the two.  We have to do the best we can.

As far as judging others: every single human being on this planet judges others! It's human nature...and anyone who says they don't is lying! Society requires us to judge...otherwise we'd all live in total chaos....so, no, it's not "time wasted."

My grandmother told my sister and I she was leaving us an inheritance (about $50,000 each) when she passed away. Gram ma died 10 years ago from lung cancer. Before she went into hospice, she was living with my mom, and Gram ma changed her will to readMOM was to receive any monies left from the sale of gram ma's home and its contents as well as any money left in her bank accounts.

My sister was outraged. She wanted the money Gram ma promised her, and decided to sue my mom. She wanted me to sue Mom as well. When I refused, she broke off all contact with us (step dad, mom, my brother and myself).

I could also use the money. I am disabled as well, and a small allotment into my bank account would serve me well, but you know what....the relationship with my mom is more important then any money that was left to her (Gram ma's wish was to share the money with us kids, and yes, I did get a small amount). It hurt to see Mom and my step-dad take some nice vacations. They have a nice house, nice furnishings, etc., but my relationship with her is more important.

I seriously doubt I will get an inheritance from my step dad and mom;s estate. Mom;s health is not the best and fully expects to pass on before my step dad does. He will in turn, leave his estate to his one remaining son, my brother. So, I am not loosing sleep over it, and have come to terms with the way I live. I have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, food to eat, and a husband who I love, and he loves me. I am blessed!

I feel sorry for my sister, Her will is her own and I hope she is a happy person.

I also thought it was odd that Dr. Phil came down so hard on Anthony and not as hard on Kevin (I think that was his name). Could it be because Kevin and Shauna have a terminally ill child? Both gambling and alcohol are addictions, but isn't alcohol a physical addiction were gambling does not carry the threat of physical injury if not done right?

BTW can anyone tell me what Shauna's son has?

My brother, Bobby, was born in the early 70's with microcephally (small head), where his skull was basically fused and would not expand to allow his brain to grow, Bobby's brain never advanced past that of an 18 month old. It caused such tension in the house, that I left home a couple of years after Bobby was born. I had just turned 16. Mom and I were distant for several years after that.

Bobby died a few years ago of a massive heart attack. He was living in a group home at the time. He was just 32 years of age. I miss him, and I am sorry I made my Mom's life hell.

         She blamed me because my brother stopped coming to visit her. He was her favorite. He didn't come to see her because he hated me. I am disabled and they couldn't accept it because they couldn't understand it. People with my illness tend to think life should be "fair". My brother was trying to get three times his due share from being her trustee. He talked her into getting two insurance policies with him being the only beneficiary. I talked her into doing the right thing and adding my other brother and myself to the beneficiaries. He threw a fit and stopped visiting her. She never forgave me.

          Her will was written out in 2004. You had to know my mother to understand. Her 'will" wasn't HER will it was the attorney's! I went back to read my post and apparently my typing was off. What I should have said was her attorney told me she made it clear to her she didn't want me living here. Nothing in her will stated she didn't want me living here.My mother didn't understand about wills. She didn't read it.I know this because I lived with her, I saw how she signed documents. She trusted everyone they would point to where she needed to sign and she would do it without reading a single word. Which is why I moved back! Two days before her stroke I had her in her doctors office and she told HIM to make sure she was dead before he "pulled the plug" on her in reference to her living will. He couldn't get her to understand that HE wouldn't be the one making that decision. My brother and I had to fight to get her any treatment at all! She thought that by just telling everyone what she wanted was enough. She didn't think she had to make a new will.

       I don't know why it is that people think that just because you're asking for help you're stuck in self pity. Asking for help my dear, is the first step in ANY type of recovery! whether it be alcoholism, drug addiction or financial problems. I'm trying to find a home. How would you like to be disabled( unable to work) and live on a petty $600.00 per month? I'm trying to SURVIVE by asking for help! Not pitying myself! My disability affects my thinking when I'm under a lot of stress. Stress can kill people like myself. We tend to freeze in time and there's nothing we can do about it!

         Judging others is also time wasted.