Topic : 08/14 Hitting Rock Bottom

I'm reading posts by people who thing Dr. Phil was too harsh with the gambler vs. the drinker.  I don't understand why people think they should get the same treatment.  Two different addictions and two different situations warrent two different approaches imo.

Honestly, I can understand drinking when you are faced with a tragedy better than I can understand gambling the home out from underneath your own family for no good reason.  Perhaps Dr. Phil understood that the sick child needed his parent in the home for the last bit of his life, while the gambler was contributing nothing towards his children and was essentially capable of taking the food off of their plates for gambling money.

Did you happen to notice that she mentioned that she is disabled? Well, I happen to be disabled also. First of all, when that happens to you and you are no longer able to work and support yourself, you are put at a great disadvantage. I am making preparations in case my husband happens to pass before I do. Since he is 16 years older than I am it's a likelihood that I really don't like to think about but sometimes I have to. I have to plan. That means that I have to make sure that there is enough life insurance to take care of me, among other things. And on top of everything, when you are disabled it tends to cause depression. They go hand in hand. Your life has changed, believe me, it's easy to feel the need to give up sometimes. I'm really happy to learn of your sobriety but to be honest, there is a difference between the two.

If I don't plan out my future, I have no idea what I would do. "Itsme" is apparently in that situation. There isn't much in the way of government assistance for people who are disabled. They will not provide us with a place to live, unless it's a shelter of some sort. All we get is a small disability check that would never be able to cover our living expenses in todays times.

I know that you are trying to send a positive message but coming from someone who knows how hard it would be, I totally understand her fear and her feelings of already having given up. Even though I am not facing what she is, I still have my husbands income and a fairly nice life, I want to give up almost on a daily basis because I just can't take it anymore. It's hard to explain. I would have to tell the entire story for you to know where I am coming from.

I'm just trying to explain a little here and to let you know that it's not as easy as it sounds. I'm not trying to be confrontational, truly I'm not, so please don't misunderstand. It's just that "I get it"! As I said I'm really happy for you but to be honest, not every problem in life can be resolved with a positive attitude. Sometimes there are just no options available.

For the person with the gambling problem, I think Dr. Phil handled him quite well. The guy acted like he didn't have a problem to some degree, he didn't act as if he really wanted to be on the show to get help and he was obviously in denial.  He was a very smart man making very poor decisions in life. I agree that Dr. Phil wants him to make an effort on his own first to try to get help and change the situation. He should have taken those steps on his own long before now, he knows exactly what he's doing and seems to lazy to do anything about it.  I would have made the same decision as Dr. Phil. Show me some effort and I'll show you some help. If Dr. Phil could have done anything differently, he might have offered some help to the wife and daughter so they could have some resources to help them cope with the situation. The wife seemed weak and pretty much run down and the poor daughter, at her age shouldn't  be in such a high stress situation, poor thing. I hope the father wakes up and takes the steps towards help that were presented to him. He would be foolish not to!

As for the 2nd couple, God bless you both and your son! My heart and prayers go out to all of you!  I agree totally with Dr. Phil, his advise on this subject was superb!  Give everything you've got to that precious little boy while he is still on this earth!  I lost 2 babies shortly after birth and NEVER, NEVER even had more than a few hours to hold them in my arms!  You have this child and will have him god willing for a little more time, DON'T WASTE IT on self pitty. God only hands us what he thinks we can handle and if you handle it right, you'll be better people for it! Your son will look down upon you from heaven and think, "what great parents I had for my short time on earth, they really sacrificed themselves and loved ME"! I can only hope that my 2 babies in heaven think of me that way even though we were only together for a few hours!

I'm a recovering compulsive gambler. I think unless you've been there, it's very difficult to understand. I know I behaved in ways I would never have dreamed of when I was into my addiction. I'm a good person... a teacher, and lover of children and people.  When I was in action, gambling took precedence over everything in my life, even though I absolutely loved my children and family. Sometimes I shake my own head when I recall how I placed my family's best interest behind my need to gamble. It's very sad.

I wish Dr. Phil would have shown a little more compassion for the gambler... like he does the alcoholics.  It too is an addiction that is very difficult to shake.  I agree that the guy had to at least admit his gambling before receiving help, but I gathered a feeling of judgment instead of the normal helping one to come to a realization of their addictions in Dr. Phil's questioning of how the guy put his gambling above his family.  Maybe it's harder to have compassion for an addiction that isn't obviously physical, as in the case of drugs and alcohol. Gambling addictions are just as powerful.  It still is an effect of behavior on the brain.  Please try to understand, Dr. Phil.