Topic : 08/01 Perfectionist Moms

What if I've already screwed up my son's life?

What can he do to overcome my inept parenting?

I understand that I meddled in his decisions, and that as a result he has no self esteem or self worth.

It breaks my heart because that was not my intention.  What is your advice on this?

I just watched the first few minutes of the Dr. Phil show today and I am appauled.  I cannot believe that any person could be such an incredibly horrible mother.  The lady (and I use the term loosely) on the show that thinks she is the perfect mom -- well her actions and her whole being is just unbelievable.  She is in no way a mother and is not even close to being a fit mother for the beautiful daughter that she has.  Just because the mother cannot stand herself and is so disappointed in herself as a woman and mother does not mean that she has to live her life through her daughter.  I absolutely believe that her daughter should be removed from her care immediately as she is not fit to be a mother.

God gave this woman the most incredible gift a woman can have and that is a child.  A healthy, beautiful child and all she can do is treat that child with disgrace.

As a mother myself I feel that we need to teach a child in the way they should go and hope for the best.  I feel that if we don't allow our children to make mistakes we are not preparing them for the REAL world.  We do not live in a perfect world and our children need to learn that.  If they make a mistake and learn from it then we have succeeded a a parent.  Let them be happy..The parents today did not mention the childs happiness..let them live their life and be proud of who they are.  God loves us as we are but sees what he wants us to be.. Let us do the same. Love our children for who they are,  If we don't love them, WHO WILL

Sonya didn't get one thing Dr Phil said to her.  When that poor girl gets home, her mother is going to let her have it for making her look bad.  Remember: the daughter is supposed to be perfect and a perfect child would never criticize her mother!

If that poor girl doesn't move to the other side of the world her mother is going to be in her face forever.  No job will ever be good enough and certainly no man is ever going to be good enough. Can you image Sonya as a mother-in-law? 

I'm 22 years old and my parents are still on me. I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them, but there is a time to let go. Letting go is hard, but we are going to be what we want to be. Our parents are there for support not to tell us what to do with our lives. I thank God for my parents and for them supporting my decisions.  I'm not the perfect child and  neither will be my child. I will admit I have made some wrong choices, but I have always made up for it. I'm now in the medical field and I'm still going to school to reach my goal. My parents are still supporting me everyday..  

This mother is living her life over again through her daughter. One day it is likely to backfire on her.

I am the mother of 3, 2 daughters and a son. I was widowed when my girls were 9 and12 yrs old. I became mother, father, everything to my girls. I believed in guiding my girls, letting them make their own decisions but, I held final veto power on these decisions. I believed my job as a parent was to teach them, right from wrong, family values, responsibility, how to survive as adults when they grew up and I was no longer there.

My children are all grown now, the youngest being 25 yrs old. Yes, they all made mistakes, some of them were whoppers. But the one thing they knew without a doubt was they could come to me with any problem , I may not have liked the situation they got themselves into, but together we would work out a solution. I am very proud of how my children turned out, the youngest is a certified nursing assistant, the older 2 joined the USMC and did their 4 yr hitches. My daughters have given me 2 wonderful grandchildren with a 3rd due in Nov.  We are all very close to one another and I would not change a thing about any one of them.