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Topic : 04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Number of Replies: 276
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:31:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you tired of your kids talking back, being disobedient and acting up when they don’t get their way? Along with Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of Mending the Broken Bond, Dr. Phil has advice for calming a chaotic household. First up, Jennifer says her 12-year-old daughter, Sydney, is out of control, and Jennifer's marriage to Craig is suffering as a result. She says Sydney hangs out with the wrong crowd, lies constantly and is failing school. The teen was recently in hot water when she sent a topless photo from her cell phone to her boyfriend that was circulated around the school! Craig says he’s frustrated that Jennifer undermines his discipline, and he’s hurt that his stepdaughter doesn’t respect him. Can this family get back on track, or is it too late for Jennifer to save her marriage? Then, Diane and Clayton say their 17-year-old daughter, Logan, is rude, doesn’t do her chores and always breaks curfew. Logan wants her folks to get off her back because she’ll be 18 soon, and she wants to get her own place. Find out what happens when Dr. Lawlis makes a house call to bring some balance to the family. Is Logan ready to move out on her own, and will her folks be able to handle her independence? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 1, 2008, 12:57 pm CDT

NO REPLIES

Quote From: no34evr

Hi, well I've sent 2 emails about this subject.  About a friend of mine having a terrible time with her 15 yo son.  He will be going to court on 1st of APril and will most likely go to juvenile detention this time.  He has been busted for pot and pipes, carrying a concealed weapon, tampering with a concealed weapon, taking a knife to school (suspended for 10 days), throwing glass bottles and breaking them behind the local Target, running away around 3 times and more.  I send the first email to Dr. Phil about 2 -3 months ago asking for help for the boy and his mother and I've received nothing back.  I sent another email about a month later reminding him of the situation and how it had gotten worse.  He's had 2 pretrial hearings and the one on the 1st of April is from the 1st pretrial. 

 

So, good luck getting anything back from Dr. Phil, maybe you will be the lucky one and get some help.

 

Cathy Jones

Cathy,

I understand your frustration! i too have written Dr Phil for help on a situation that is going on in my family with my little granddaughter being in foster care and now they are wanting to terminate my son and daughter-in-laws parental rights! Its injustice in the social system and we are fighting tooth and nail!

Anyway, I am so sorry to hear of your situation and i sure hope you get some help before it is too late. Oh today is April 1st!!  I am so sorry!! I send you my blessings and i will certainly say a prayer for you and your family.

Joyce in MN

 
April 1, 2008, 1:46 pm CDT

FOR RAINPAINRAIN

Quote From: rainpainrain

You're right, we should have the right to abuse our kids with out the government getting involved...after all kids are possessions right?

And what "epidemic of unruly messed up kids" are you referring to? Where are you getting this idea? Watching Nancy Grace too much or something? Seriously, kids 'these days' are no more messed up than the kids in the 'good ol' days'...we just love to hear all the bad stuff, we focus on it and it can seem like that is all there is. In reality, kids are kids are kids, in the 50's and in the 00's.
HEY I CHECKED OUT NANCY GRACE  ON THE INTERNET AND I DEFINATELY AM GOING TO WATCH HER SHOW TONIGHT!!! lol     JOYCE IN MN
 
April 1, 2008, 5:14 pm CDT

Curious....

Quote From: enyadreams

I wasn't saying kids are possessions or that we should abuse them!!! They should be disciplined PROPERLY but WITHOUT the state being allowed to butt in  just anytime without throughly investigating the situation and making sure they are doing their job without trying to give all our children ways out of listening to their parents authority .Get it strait ..............I don't even know who the hell Nancy Grace is.  I only know who DR PHIL is and what he says on disciplining children!!!!

Joyce in MN

 

CPS provides a valuable service.  There are legitimate claims out there of children in abusive situations, and it would mess them up more if they were left in an abusive relationship.  If my would be children (I don't have 'em), ever called CPS, I'd just go with the flow.  People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.  Let them do their investigation, they won't find anything on me.  I'd take it as a personal challenge...LOL!

 

I'm actually glad the government has that power...it would give me more time at the spa and just enough time for my little darling to miss mommy and admit mea culpa- the o'l tough love.  I think most parents know the way to keep their kids out of jail is to discipline them at home.  I just look at it like kids are always going to push the envelope, and eventually they outgrow it.

 
April 2, 2008, 4:56 am CDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: no34evr

Hi, well I've sent 2 emails about this subject.  About a friend of mine having a terrible time with her 15 yo son.  He will be going to court on 1st of APril and will most likely go to juvenile detention this time.  He has been busted for pot and pipes, carrying a concealed weapon, tampering with a concealed weapon, taking a knife to school (suspended for 10 days), throwing glass bottles and breaking them behind the local Target, running away around 3 times and more.  I send the first email to Dr. Phil about 2 -3 months ago asking for help for the boy and his mother and I've received nothing back.  I sent another email about a month later reminding him of the situation and how it had gotten worse.  He's had 2 pretrial hearings and the one on the 1st of April is from the 1st pretrial. 

 

So, good luck getting anything back from Dr. Phil, maybe you will be the lucky one and get some help.

 

Cathy Jones

 

         It is now April the second.  How was your friend's day in court?  Is her son in juvenile detention?  He sounds like an unhappy teenager. 

 

         Dr. Phil's message board is only a kind of support group.  We talk with our friends, and we give and receive advice.  We develop a realistic approach for solving our own problems. 

        Phil is not Santa Claus.  He does not come swooping down into anyone's life and magically make everyone better.       

 
April 2, 2008, 5:35 am CDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

CPS provides a valuable service.  There are legitimate claims out there of children in abusive situations, and it would mess them up more if they were left in an abusive relationship.  If my would be children (I don't have 'em), ever called CPS, I'd just go with the flow.  People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.  Let them do their investigation, they won't find anything on me.  I'd take it as a personal challenge...LOL!

 

I'm actually glad the government has that power...it would give me more time at the spa and just enough time for my little darling to miss mommy and admit mea culpa- the o'l tough love.  I think most parents know the way to keep their kids out of jail is to discipline them at home.  I just look at it like kids are always going to push the envelope, and eventually they outgrow it.

 I agree,  CPS  does provide a valuable service.  In some cases,  it's  spiteful  people who can take advantage of  it.  Years ago,  my  MIL was raising an  adopted  son.  Someone,  possibly a  disgruntled  DIL,  called  Social  Services  on  her  with  claims  of  child  abuse.  They  showed  up  one  day  unnannounced  to  check  up  on  her.  The  SS  lady  explained to her that they have to check  out  every  claim  that  comes  in.  And  of  course, the accuser  has  to  remain  anonymous.  My  MIL  felt  helpless in this situation.  The  lady  made  one additional  house  call . (Again  unnannounced)  And  found  the  accusations  to  be unfounded.  I have  had  friends  whose  unruly  teens  threatened  to call  CPS  on thier parents  when  they  were  dissatified  with  the  rules.  Thier  parents  just  told  them , "Go  to  it!" They  just  called  thier  bluffs.  CPS  is  like  anything  else,  it  can  be  misused  if  the  wrong  people  get  involved.  They  have  no  way  of  knowing  when  people  call  in ,  whether the accusations  are  founded  or not.  They  have  to follow  through. It's  sad and kinda scary  to know that  someone could get mad at another person and use CPS as a weapon.  I wonder how many  times this happens?
 
April 2, 2008, 8:55 am CDT

I guess there are just too many people needing his help

Quote From: enyadreams

Cathy,

I understand your frustration! i too have written Dr Phil for help on a situation that is going on in my family with my little granddaughter being in foster care and now they are wanting to terminate my son and daughter-in-laws parental rights! Its injustice in the social system and we are fighting tooth and nail!

Anyway, I am so sorry to hear of your situation and i sure hope you get some help before it is too late. Oh today is April 1st!!  I am so sorry!! I send you my blessings and i will certainly say a prayer for you and your family.

Joyce in MN

I too have written to Dr Phil, I was even contacted by his producer but it went nowhere from there. I guess there are just too many desperate people looking to him for help. At this point I'm so far down that there are only 3 things keeping me alive, they are my children. My ex husband is trying to take them from me and if he succeeds, I won't need Dr Phil anymore. He doesn't have anything on me but he's been trying for 3 years. I'm so tired of constantly fighting and I'm bipolar so it's taking it's toll on me mentally. If he keeps pushing, I'm scared to death I'm going to spiral and give him the ammo he needs to finally get them. I can't find any help, not even from the good Dr. I just keep trying and hoping at some point he'll notice.
 
April 2, 2008, 4:58 pm CDT

CPS AS WEAPONS

Quote From: housewife52

 I agree,  CPS  does provide a valuable service.  In some cases,  it's  spiteful  people who can take advantage of  it.  Years ago,  my  MIL was raising an  adopted  son.  Someone,  possibly a  disgruntled  DIL,  called  Social  Services  on  her  with  claims  of  child  abuse.  They  showed  up  one  day  unnannounced  to  check  up  on  her.  The  SS  lady  explained to her that they have to check  out  every  claim  that  comes  in.  And  of  course, the accuser  has  to  remain  anonymous.  My  MIL  felt  helpless in this situation.  The  lady  made  one additional  house  call . (Again  unnannounced)  And  found  the  accusations  to  be unfounded.  I have  had  friends  whose  unruly  teens  threatened  to call  CPS  on thier parents  when  they  were  dissatified  with  the  rules.  Thier  parents  just  told  them , "Go  to  it!" They  just  called  thier  bluffs.  CPS  is  like  anything  else,  it  can  be  misused  if  the  wrong  people  get  involved.  They  have  no  way  of  knowing  when  people  call  in ,  whether the accusations  are  founded  or not.  They  have  to follow  through. It's  sad and kinda scary  to know that  someone could get mad at another person and use CPS as a weapon.  I wonder how many  times this happens?

Unfortunately this is the case more than we like to think! Also, there are those Social workers who let their egos get the best of them and have to be right even when they know they are wrong in a case and make the wrong decision just because they won't admit it. This is what my family is dealing with right now, a social worker who even admitted she didn't agree with what she had even put in the report she made but she felt she "had" to do it in "the best interest of the child."  They love to throw that phrase around alot when they have nothingelse to say to cover up their mistakes. Yes, i said EGOS! Maybe everyone should go on the Oprah site and get with Oprah and Eckhart  Tolle in the reading of his book "The New Earth"

 
April 2, 2008, 5:01 pm CDT

TO HOUSEWIFE 52

Quote From: housewife52

 I agree,  CPS  does provide a valuable service.  In some cases,  it's  spiteful  people who can take advantage of  it.  Years ago,  my  MIL was raising an  adopted  son.  Someone,  possibly a  disgruntled  DIL,  called  Social  Services  on  her  with  claims  of  child  abuse.  They  showed  up  one  day  unnannounced  to  check  up  on  her.  The  SS  lady  explained to her that they have to check  out  every  claim  that  comes  in.  And  of  course, the accuser  has  to  remain  anonymous.  My  MIL  felt  helpless in this situation.  The  lady  made  one additional  house  call . (Again  unnannounced)  And  found  the  accusations  to  be unfounded.  I have  had  friends  whose  unruly  teens  threatened  to call  CPS  on thier parents  when  they  were  dissatified  with  the  rules.  Thier  parents  just  told  them , "Go  to  it!" They  just  called  thier  bluffs.  CPS  is  like  anything  else,  it  can  be  misused  if  the  wrong  people  get  involved.  They  have  no  way  of  knowing  when  people  call  in ,  whether the accusations  are  founded  or not.  They  have  to follow  through. It's  sad and kinda scary  to know that  someone could get mad at another person and use CPS as a weapon.  I wonder how many  times this happens?
REMEMBER......................WE CAN'T DISCIPLINE OUR CHILDREN AT HOME!!!! THEY WILL YELL  CHILD ABUSE AND CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES WILL BE AT YOUR DOOR IMMEDIATELY TO REMOVE THEM AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER!!!!
 
April 3, 2008, 6:41 am CDT

18 year long chat

I have 2, 13 yr old girls and even though I am not perfect, i have tried my backside off to instill a sense of importance to my girls about education.  The other day I was driving them to school and lecturing them like normal amout the imortance of this and every school year and they were saying "yep" , "I know mum", "when are you ever going to let it go".  I said "never"....     And what helped was a Dr Phil show were it was mentioned it was an 18 yr long chat, not just a chat....   So from now on I ask my girls, "when  is the next part of our 18 yr long chat"..... and now they understand..... Mum ain't going anywhere......   Thanks Dr Phil...
 
April 3, 2008, 7:13 am CDT

Attorney?

Quote From: enyadreams

Unfortunately this is the case more than we like to think! Also, there are those Social workers who let their egos get the best of them and have to be right even when they know they are wrong in a case and make the wrong decision just because they won't admit it. This is what my family is dealing with right now, a social worker who even admitted she didn't agree with what she had even put in the report she made but she felt she "had" to do it in "the best interest of the child."  They love to throw that phrase around alot when they have nothingelse to say to cover up their mistakes. Yes, i said EGOS! Maybe everyone should go on the Oprah site and get with Oprah and Eckhart  Tolle in the reading of his book "The New Earth"

 

I think you need to talk to an attorney that specializes in CPS laws

 

http://www.fightcps.com/articles/faq.html

 

"

First, you need to get a good attorney, and fast. Child protective services is nothing to take chances with. Once they are involved, the power that they have over your family is enormous. Make sure that the attorney you get is experienced in dealing with child protective services

.

Second, no, once child protective services is involved, and until their investigation is concluded (and only then if they find nothing), you do not have a say in what happens to your children. Again the power that CPS has in this situation cannot be overstated."

 

http://www.dearesq.com/if-child-protective-services-cps-takes-our-children-can-we-assign-custody-to-someone-we-choose/

 

Fight it, don't let whomever decides to terrorize you this way win. Good luck to you, don't let that social worker get away with it, be a thorn in her side until you get your way.  It won't be worth it to mess with you- again fight to the death!  Good luck and God bless!

 
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