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Topic : 04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:31:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you tired of your kids talking back, being disobedient and acting up when they don’t get their way? Along with Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of Mending the Broken Bond, Dr. Phil has advice for calming a chaotic household. First up, Jennifer says her 12-year-old daughter, Sydney, is out of control, and Jennifer's marriage to Craig is suffering as a result. She says Sydney hangs out with the wrong crowd, lies constantly and is failing school. The teen was recently in hot water when she sent a topless photo from her cell phone to her boyfriend that was circulated around the school! Craig says he’s frustrated that Jennifer undermines his discipline, and he’s hurt that his stepdaughter doesn’t respect him. Can this family get back on track, or is it too late for Jennifer to save her marriage? Then, Diane and Clayton say their 17-year-old daughter, Logan, is rude, doesn’t do her chores and always breaks curfew. Logan wants her folks to get off her back because she’ll be 18 soon, and she wants to get her own place. Find out what happens when Dr. Lawlis makes a house call to bring some balance to the family. Is Logan ready to move out on her own, and will her folks be able to handle her independence? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
sugarboog
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April 8, 2008, 1:30 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: getrealtime

well I feel sorry for those mothers that can't experience that love. and i feel sorry for those out there that had bad parents, I am a good mother, was raised by a great mother, who was raised by a great mother. I dout I am of just a few,

 

and no you can't just judge by the post , but when someone says something that strikes as totally wrong, well I have a right to say what I think on it, as you do,

 

I believe that you judge by what you know, and what you experienced in life, and if you had a bad life you judge by it without seeing the other side, a spanking to you has a different meaning to you, then it does to me, I was spanked 3 time in my life, and I can't say it effected me, it was no worse then tearing a band aid off, but I wasn't beat or verally abused, so I judge by that, so when a poster says that what they do then, I infer what they say by  what happento me,

  but when someone says something that strikes as totally wrong, well I have a right to say what I think on it, as you do,

Well...lol  EVERYBODY on this board has a "right" to say what they think...including me...and just exactly what did I post that you feel is "totally wrong" ?  I guess you feel that just because a woman gives birth that all of them have this great maternal instinct and love?  Well...you are wrong and that's not just an opinion but a fact.

I believe that you judge by what you know, and what you experienced in life, and if you had a bad life you judge by it without seeing the other side, a spanking to you has a different meaning to you, then it does to me, I was spanked 3 time in my life, and I can't say it effected me, it was no worse then tearing a band aid off, but I wasn't beat or verally abused, so I judge by that, so when a poster says that what they do then, I infer what they say by  what happento me,


I find if extremely amusing that you feel I judge by what I "know" and and "experienced "in life and then go on to talk about what you "know" based on what you "experienced" in life.  However, statistics and research prove that smacking your kids around is not only abuse and emotionally damaging but if it's not already the law in your state it will be soon.
 
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getrealtime
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April 8, 2008, 1:37 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

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Quote From: peterspumpkin

 I agree, you don't know if it worked. But spanking is a time honored form of discipline. Back when the main method for discipline was spanking, how many school shooting were there? How many kids were killing kids just for the hell of it? How many teen pregnancies were there? Do your research. Even the bible (btw I do not believe in God, but for those of you who do) says spare the rod, spoil the child, does it not 

  


 

Idon't k know if the spanking gets the credit for it, I would say it was more like the parents, put more time in as being a parent,the more time children are left by themselfs, more things they can find to get themelf in trouble.
 
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peterspumpkin
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April 8, 2008, 1:39 pm PDT

Where did that prove your point?

Quote From: sugarboog

 

Quote From: peterspumpkin

 I agree, you don't know if it worked. But spanking is a time honored form of discipline. Back when the main method for discipline was spanking, how many school shooting were there? How many kids were killing kids just for the hell of it? How many teen pregnancies were there? Do your research. Even the bible (btw I do not believe in God, but for those of you who do) says spare the rod, spoil the child, does it not 

  


 

Exactly where in that post was your point proven? Did I determine that somebody was a bad mother based on their post? Nope, sure didn't.
 
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April 8, 2008, 1:41 pm PDT

Very well said....

Quote From: getrealtime

sorry it took so long to get back, had to get outside, start getting my yard ready for summer,

and I understand  what you where saying too, when said poster, can't judge a person on what they post, and I got the hit at the end of it too, they can get like a pack of dogs, one starts to attack they all jump in. I didn't think that I would have to explain my post about what a mother feels about their child,

it was clear, and the other kind of mother wouldn't understand it and wouldn't care to understand it,

 

 

That's ok, I'm cleaning house. I clean a room, come back and check the message board, go clean another room, come back and check the message board. At least we know we can multi task huh. I got what you were saying about the way mothers feel and the way "the other kind of" mothers don't. I just couldn't tell by the previous post if you were using me to help your argument or responding to me saying what I said to sugar. It just goes to show you can't always trust your interpretation of somebody's post!
 
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Earthymama
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April 8, 2008, 1:52 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: peterspumpkin

I absolutely agree with what you were saying in your posts. Spanking aside, because it is a personal choice, I believe what makes a good mother is love for their children, communication with their children, and whatever discipline works with the exception of course of beating the daylights out of them or abusing them in any way. I don't believe that parents who don't spank are always  bad parents and I don't believe that parents who do spank are always great parents. There are people who don't deserve to have kids at all on both sides of the fence. There are absolutely awesome parents on both sides of the fence. As long as your child grows up knowing right from wrong and that they are absolutely loved unconditionally, you're a success!
Well I am not a spanker and a great mother and have well behaved kids...but yet you have said many times that  I would have to wait and see like you don't believe it.  So honestly from the tone I have taken (not saying you ment it) is that one of that because I don't spank I don't disicpline my children and there for a bad mom and can't know how good they are untill they are older.
 
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April 8, 2008, 2:47 pm PDT

I apologize for the misunderstanding...

Quote From: charise820

Well I am not a spanker and a great mother and have well behaved kids...but yet you have said many times that  I would have to wait and see like you don't believe it.  So honestly from the tone I have taken (not saying you ment it) is that one of that because I don't spank I don't disicpline my children and there for a bad mom and can't know how good they are untill they are older.


I apologize if that is how you took it, that is not how I meant it. I mean WE ALL have to wait and see who is right. That said, of course I think my way is right, otherwise I wouldn't do it, but I do not believe that all mothers who don't spank are going to end up with horrible children. What I am trying to say is that society, as a whole, seems to be faced with the problem of children who don't have any fear of what is going to happen to them if they get into serious trouble. In my opinion, if we teach them that they are going to get the same punishment for stealing a pack of gum as they would for hurting another person, we are not teaching them very well. I believe this is why so many teens are out of control these days. But no, it's not that I believe YOUR children are going to end up in a bad way. I DON'T believe you are a bad parent. Each case is different and spanking is a personal choice. It is a personal choice I made and the reasons that I have stated are the reasons I made that decision. Parenting is about soooooooo much more than just to spank or not to spank. That, in the end, will determine how are children will end up. I hope that clarifies things a little bit for you.
 
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fromthesquare
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April 8, 2008, 3:02 pm PDT

We All Love our Kids

Quote From: peterspumpkin

There is nothing or no one that could hold a candle to my children. The reason I was shocked that sugar posted that is that sugar has decided that I'm a horrible abusive mother with little demons for children based on nothing more than how sugar interpreted my posts. My children are my entire world. I have devoted my life to loving them and keeping them safe. I was headed way down the wrong path when I became pregnant the first time and my love for them absolutely turned my life around. They are the thread that holds me together. I believe any good parent feels this way.

 I would agree with you.  Your children and your parenting are not up for grading by this board.  I am sure that you have great kids and from your posts I can tell that your children are your life.  It has- at the very least- given parents a chance to think about corporal punishment.  Hopefully some parents will count to 10 (or 100) before reacting and decide on a punishment logically and rationally.  It has been a good discussion.  No one should attack any one here.  We all love our kids.
 
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April 8, 2008, 3:05 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: sugarboog

  but when someone says something that strikes as totally wrong, well I have a right to say what I think on it, as you do,

Well...lol  EVERYBODY on this board has a "right" to say what they think...including me...and just exactly what did I post that you feel is "totally wrong" ?  I guess you feel that just because a woman gives birth that all of them have this great maternal instinct and love?  Well...you are wrong and that's not just an opinion but a fact.

I believe that you judge by what you know, and what you experienced in life, and if you had a bad life you judge by it without seeing the other side, a spanking to you has a different meaning to you, then it does to me, I was spanked 3 time in my life, and I can't say it effected me, it was no worse then tearing a band aid off, but I wasn't beat or verally abused, so I judge by that, so when a poster says that what they do then, I infer what they say by  what happento me,


I find if extremely amusing that you feel I judge by what I "know" and and "experienced "in life and then go on to talk about what you "know" based on what you "experienced" in life.  However, statistics and research prove that smacking your kids around is not only abuse and emotionally damaging but if it's not already the law in your state it will be soon.

There you go again , using a  pat on the butt  and without anger, as smacking your kid around, smackingyour kid around will cause damage to your child, but who said anything about smacking a child around?? who is saying anything about smacking , beating a child on a daily bases or a weekly ,

 

and heres where life experiences come in, my 3 spanking, did not effect me, so when someone talks about a controled spank I understand what they are saying,  their not talking about smacking achild at free will, its not used on the child as a first form of discipline,

 and I did say you have a right to your to say what you think, read the post over again.

 

and once again I was not talking about the other kind of mother who shows no maternal instinic, to speak to her would be pointless, and I think most mother have that maternal instinic, and know what I am talking about.
 
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April 8, 2008, 3:05 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Exactly where in that post was your point proven? Did I determine that somebody was a bad mother based on their post? Nope, sure didn't.
  Exactly where in that post was your point proven?

Quote From: peterspumpkin

I don't presume that any child that is not spanked is going to be a druggy or a killer, way back when, I'm pretty sure my original message was that parents who DON'T DISCIPLINE their kids raise children such as these.

Quote From: peterspumpkin

 I agree, you don't know if it worked. But spanking is a time honored form of discipline. Back when the main method for discipline was spanking, how many school shooting were there? How many kids were killing kids just for the hell of it? How many teen pregnancies were there? Do your research. Even the bible (btw I do not believe in God, but for those of you who do) says spare the rod, spoil the child, does it not 


 


 


Did I determine that somebody was a bad mother based on their post? Nope, sure didn't.
 



 

Actually you implied it right here.
 


 


 


 


 

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Why don't you just do it your way and I'll do it mine, and seek me out when our children are grown. We'll compare notes. 


 


 

Again, if you don't want to be judged...don't judge.
 


 


 


 


 
 
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getrealtime
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April 8, 2008, 3:39 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: peterspumpkin

That's ok, I'm cleaning house. I clean a room, come back and check the message board, go clean another room, come back and check the message board. At least we know we can multi task huh. I got what you were saying about the way mothers feel and the way "the other kind of" mothers don't. I just couldn't tell by the previous post if you were using me to help your argument or responding to me saying what I said to sugar. It just goes to show you can't always trust your interpretation of somebody's post!
I think its just about life and what you pull from it, even the guy who used a switch, I could relate to something in my life, He sounds  just a good ole boy!!, from the south, traditions run deep, and a switch is not unheard of. My grandmother was a lady fromthe south, and used the swictch on my dad and his sibs. they are and where very successful in life, and not abusive, my grandmother would go make them get a switch off a tree and bring it back,lol, they laugh when they tell stories of their childhood, and the walk to the tree. most of them never used the switch on their kids , maybe  because they married women from the north, 
 
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