Home Message Boards

Topic : 04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Number of Replies: 372
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:31:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you tired of your kids talking back, being disobedient and acting up when they don’t get their way? Along with Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of Mending the Broken Bond, Dr. Phil has advice for calming a chaotic household. First up, Jennifer says her 12-year-old daughter, Sydney, is out of control, and Jennifer's marriage to Craig is suffering as a result. She says Sydney hangs out with the wrong crowd, lies constantly and is failing school. The teen was recently in hot water when she sent a topless photo from her cell phone to her boyfriend that was circulated around the school! Craig says he’s frustrated that Jennifer undermines his discipline, and he’s hurt that his stepdaughter doesn’t respect him. Can this family get back on track, or is it too late for Jennifer to save her marriage? Then, Diane and Clayton say their 17-year-old daughter, Logan, is rude, doesn’t do her chores and always breaks curfew. Logan wants her folks to get off her back because she’ll be 18 soon, and she wants to get her own place. Find out what happens when Dr. Lawlis makes a house call to bring some balance to the family. Is Logan ready to move out on her own, and will her folks be able to handle her independence? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
Earthymama
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:09 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: rainpainrain

I am sure this isn't meant for me...it was meant for the lady who thinks that holding her daughter on her lap while screaming at her husband and him screaming at her is a good way for her to learn "conflict resolution"....yeah...right...

I don't believe in "god"....
but you don't need to to teach your child right form wrong. 
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
goodboyreno
User Mood
Touched

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:11 pm PDT

I don't mean any disrepect to anyone but let me say

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

I have to admit, I'm NOT a parent.  Just wanted to put that on the table, and all I can do is conjecture about what I think I would do in the situation.  Some of it comes from how I was raised, but that's a whole different can of worms.

 

What I've observed as an outsider, is that parents seem to have a lot of fear (maybe I'm wrong in this observation?).  Fear for their children, fear OF their children, fear of/for the government (which president will I elect FOR my child), fear of the environment being there for their children, fear that their education is subpar and they won't have money for their college education, etc.  I wish that parents wouldn't have so much fear and think some of it may be superfluous.  Parents aren't perfect (no one is), but they do have rights and I think that they are integral to how our future generation acts and how they in turn parent. 

 

Again, these are just opinions from a non-parent, very different from those that are parents.  But I hate to see so much fear in parents today because of their leadership role and all undue stress does is make things worse.  Just one perspective of many.

 that all of us sisters have kids except my oldest.She says she would never spank her kids and I shouldn't have ever taken my switch once accross the back of their legs but she also says my 3 kids are the best behaved kids she knows.A joy to be around,funny,polite and always respectful-how does she think they got that way? Anyway,I always tell her when she offers her advice (and we that have kids know  that those without love to offer advice) I tell her "thank you,now go feed your dogs Oprah!"
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
PennyLane78
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:14 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: charise820

OMG I can't believe you are telling people to abuse there child and it's out of love.  yeah that's ok.  Not.

You teach them by explaining to them why it is wrong you don't need to hit them let a lone with a stick!

It's not ok to hit an adult with a stick and it shouldn't be ok to hit a child with one either.

I have well behaved and smiling children in public and at home and I don't hit them at all so looks like your logic is flawed. big time.

I discipline my children with out hurting them.

I truly feel for you children if you have any.
Yeah..exactly. I don't fully agree with the other lady on the board, but at least she wasn't telling people to hit their kids with sticks! At least her method had a related consequence!

What I don't get it this, what does being beat on the legs with a stick have to do with anything, that isn't a natural consequence, it doesn't teach anything. It's Neanderthal sounding.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
getrealtime
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

04/04 Ask Dr. Phil about Parenting

Quote From: davjander

Dr. Phil is right; this couple have taken their eye off the ball, and their daughter is paying the price. However, I was very disappointed in Dr. Phil's lack of reaction to the father's attitude that his wife was overreacting to his being absent every weekend for three months (deer hunting). He, Criag, said that after all, there are nine months in the year and he's only gone every weekend for 3.  The wife, who also works full time, is home alone with three young kids. Dr. Phil did not react to this at all. I absolutely do not believe that if the mother, Jennifer, had said that she leaves to be with her girl friends every weekend for three months, leaving her husband home with the kids, and then said but after all there are nine months in the year, that Dr. Phil would have ignored that. It's outrageous. No wonder the 12 yr. old is out of control. The father feels that he should be able to impose punishment, but then leaves and expects his wife to enforce it. His family is falling apart, and his absence is simply for his own pleasure. There is plenty to say about the wife's behavior, but Dr. Phil said it. It was the father who was given a pass on this.
the father was givin a pass, their is only so many deer you can claim, but the mothers cheating  and her dauther knowing was a bigger issue, It seems as if both parents are out hunting for 3 months out of the year.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
gwarrior6
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
happy
April 4, 2008, 3:20 pm PDT

4 yo...

Quote From: rainpainrain

Thank you! I definitely feel that so far, in comparison with OTHER 4 year olds my daughter is very well behaved and I don't mind taking the credit!

 

If you daughter is 4 and sounds delightful btw, then you must have done something right!  Tell us your secret! :)

 

I don't know what I think of spanking....I do know that it's not what I would use if I had kids.  I personally think restrictive methods just work better because 1) after a while the child would rather have a momentary painful stimilus than the inconvience of having a toy or what ever taken away. 2)  It more accurately reflects what society would do if you broke the law- restrict your freedom.

 

And then you have kids that can't behave to save their lives, and I think some of them have a biochemical imbalance or some neuropsychological reason that they can't  behave.  Or maybe it's part of their personality. 

 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
southms
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:30 pm PDT

They'll be paying forever

Quote From: getrealtime

I think your right, but I think I would show her first what she is in for, take her to a apt. she can afford  let her look around, and then show her what  inc. will be, water bill , food and elec. then add up what her gas for her car will be, and let her see how much is left for her cloths. and then say when your ready to make your own rules this is what waiting on you. or follow the few rule I have and go to college,

 

I don't think kids like her think what it truely will be like, they don't see the life change until you show them. but either way works.

I'd bet anything that mother will pay for whatever apartment the child picks out, along with all the utilities, furniture, etc.  I'd stake my life on it. And I'd bet anything that in ten years they're still having to completely support her. That's what she feels she's entitled to because her parents have taught her that the world should bow to her every need. They will have to deal with the mistakes they've made in raising her to be an entitled brat for the rest of their lives.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
amyaaron86
User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:31 pm PDT

This poor girl!!

 

  I do not understand hoe these parents can be putting their child in the position

 that they are. I know I grew up with pit in my stomach, watching my dad sit and

 wait for my mom to come home with who ever had picked her up that night in a

 bar that night. Also I had I had a stepdad at 13 yrs of age, and walked in like he

 was the ruler of the kingdom.r had kids of his own, and ,marries my mom with

 7 children. It did not work. I had been the one that was taking care of my brothers

 and sisters at that point. And then here comes the King.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
lunatec2
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:32 pm PDT

Ignorant

 To the wife: Do you honestly believe you can hook up with a deer hunter and expect sensitivity? I know deer. They come to my backyard daily. They are the sweetest little creatures known to man,outside of bunny rabbits and squirrels. I would never couple up with an ignorant killer/abuser like your husband. Ditch that ignorant idiot and go find yourself an intelligent sensitive man, a real man. Any man who would kill an innocent deer, would do the same to any child. Your daughter senses that. She knows she's not safe. Ditch that jerk. Stop making yourself wrong for looking for love. Ditch him and you and your daughter can be free to find the real thing. And I can guarantee he won't be killing innocent creatures in his spare time.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
lsilaevl
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 4, 2008, 3:35 pm PDT

DNA is VERY important

Dr Phil;

Children are NOT blank slates.  My daughter who is now 18 has spent a total of maybe 150 total hours with her father.  SHE IS A SPITTING IMAGE!!! right down to thought process, IQ, looks, ect.  She did not spend time with him to pick up the character traits of him she was born with them.   DNA is who you are there are many studies that have proven this with twins. 

To this child she is holding her parents over a barrel and playing the system.  She needs a good military school to straighten her out.  I would be interested in seeing the childs father and where he is and what his behaviors are.  I bet you the child is just like him.

What is the CHILD doing going through her parents room, phone, ect.  There are boundaries for children and she does not know where they are.  If I am paying the bills I have the right to do what I want without being told how to live by my child or manipulated by them.  She obviously does not have problems with her other children who by the way have different DNA. 
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
ttownt
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
hopeful
April 4, 2008, 3:36 pm PDT

Divachild

Quote From: ramair

How much effort has your friend made to keep her son from getting out of control when he was young enough that she had more influence over him? Maybe she's tried, all his life, to keep him under control. But, then again, maybe not.
Dr Phil's had so many parents of out-of-control kids ranging from three to 17. And, except for a few with heavy metal toxicty-based behavior issues, most of them received no kind of disciplinary guidance during their formative early childhood.
Unless the parents intervene, out-of-control toddlers become out-of-control teens. Who become out-of-control adults. And, part of the prison populstion.
I see so many parents come whining to Dr Phil about their disrepectful teens. Usually because they didn't nip this disrespect in the bud, when their kids were toddlers. When they admit what they've let these kids get away with all their lives, I think duh!
 This little girl on today's show (Sydney sp?) is running the whole f---ing show at her house.  Snooping through her mom & dad's things, even those that are locked up???  These two parents may not be anything to write home about,  but my kids know better to go through mine and my husband's things!!  And if they ever did, they would be in serious trouble!  As far as her complaining her mom is out late and there's no one to 'watch her,' she is 12 for crying out loud!  When I was 12 I was babysitting!  And she apparently thinks 12 is old enough to send naked pictures to her boyfriend, but not old enough to babysit her siblings?  Or be home by herself?  Wow, this whole thing totally blew my mind.  Dr. Phil is way way off on this one. 


 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
Post a Message

First | Prev | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Next | Last