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Topic : 07/23 Ask the Doctors

Number of Replies: 202
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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:09:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/08/08) Imagine having your doctor on speed dial to answer your questions 24/7. Here's your chance, because The Doctors (link to: /shows/page/TheDoctors)  are back! Dr. Phil welcomes OB/GYN Dr. Lisa Masterson, family therapist Dr. Tara Fields, pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears, plastic surgeon Dr. Andrew Ordon, and E.R. physician Dr. Travis Stork. Join their conversation and hear their valuable insights on the hottest medical topics of the day, including actor Heath Ledger's untimely death and the rise in breast augmentation surgery. Next, meet Jennifer, a wife and mother who's so afraid of her family getting sick and dying from germs, that she won't handle cash or mail, she wears three different pairs of shoes each day -- a pair for in the house, one for out of the house, and one for in the car -- and won't even greet family members from out of town until they've come in and showered! Is Jennifer's house as germ free as she thinks it is? Dr. Phil sends a microbiologist to find out. Then, meet a woman who got married and was ready to start a family only to find out that the man she fell in love with was making her physically ill. And, meet a couple who are at odds over a serious medical dilemma involving their 3-year-old son. Should they amputate his legs? Plus, is there a medical question you're dying to know the answer to but are too embarrassed to ask? Be there when The Doctors answer viewer questions on topics ranging from breastfeeding to penis enlargement, and then talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 8, 2008, 3:07 pm CDT

04/08 Ask the Doctors

Quote From: lola1919

I've been married for 24 years.  Last year my husband revealed that he has herpes.  He has had it since before he met me.  Inspite of all the emotional upheavel this has caused, I have decided to stay with him and keep our household intact for the present.  I have tested positive for this STD.  I would like to know if   there could be any more damage done if I have unprotected sex with him, or should he wear a condom?
 First of all I wanted to say that I am sorry that you are going through this.  I would think that you would have had an outbreak by now if you did have herpes.  At least from what I know about that disease, which isn't too much.  Wouldn't you have noticed it on him, unless has not had an outbreak.  Not sure how it works.  But to be on the safe side I would not have sex at all when he has an outbreak of course.  If you do have it then I do not know if using a condom at this point would help.  But I would anyways to be on the safe side.  Good luck!  I know this must be devistating.
 
April 8, 2008, 3:13 pm CDT

Sexual Issues breaking up my marraige

I have so many problems  I do not even know where to begin.

In my 40's I could not get enough sex and I was married to an older man who did not want it as much as I did.  He died of brain cancer in 2000.  Because I was lonely and did not think I was ready to be celibate for the rest of my life, I sought out another partner.  My current husband is a year younger than I, and of Latin origin.  Shortly after we were married, I started having problems.  Now, in my 50's I could live without sex, not by choice, but because I had a fibroid cyst that made it necessary for me to have a complete hysterectomy.  Now, not only do I not have a libido, but sex is painful.  For me, this would not be a problem if I was single, however, I am married and to a hot blooded Spaniard. 

As you can imagine, we are extremely frustrated, he because he wants it all of the time, and me because I don't.  I tolerate the pain for him, but it has made me very bitter and resentful because I feel like I am just a sexual object for him.  He does not seem to understand what I am going through.  When I try to suggest less painful ways to approach our union, he gets mad because he feels like I am putting him down.  All of this, along with other issues that have come up since we married, have just about split us up.  I have come close to telling him to pack his bags and head back to Texas more times than I can count lately.

It has gotten to the point that I sleep in the recliner in the living room so I do not have to be touched by him.  I go on camping and fishing trips to get some peace and quiet and a good nights sleep, and I find any excuse not to go to bed.  A couple of times a week, I will pretend to be interested, fake orgasm, and hope that will be enough to satisfy him, however it is not.  He wants it every night.  I never did it every night when I was in my prime.  I also have to think, what would happen if I had some kind of debilitating illness where sex was impossible, how long would he be here?  I have asked this question and he says he would deal with it.

He keeps telling me he wants the woman he married back.  I keep telling him that I will never be that woman again because the part of me that he misses is missing from me.  I do not feel like a woman anymore.  I had practically given up trying to feel feminine again.  Recently, I have started trying to wear makeup again, and wear nicer clothing than I have for a long time, the problem with that is that he want me even more.  Don't get me wrong, it is flattering, however, it does not fix the problem.

Speaking of fixing things.  He has been trying to fix me.  He had me take saliva tests to see what hormones I needed replacing.  After the testing, a preparation of creams was prescribed.  I used them for awhile, but did not notice any change.  The doctor told me that it might help with the pain, but probably would do nothing for my libido.  She was right.  The pain was better, at least tolerable, but not gone.  But the desire has never returned.  Although I have not tried it. (it is against my husbands principles), I think I could watch a hard core porno flick and not get a thing out of it except disgusted.  Him trying to fix me has not done much for my self-esteem.

I have to tell you that I am also diabetic, have high blood pressure, a very fast heart beat, anxiety and panic attacks, ostio arthritis in my hips and shoulders, carpel tunnel in my right hand, bursitis in my shoulders, gastric issues, IBS, and a host of other disorders.  Most of this has come on since my husband and I got married.  Poor timing.  If I had known, I would have stayed single. 

Prior to our marriage, I was walking 6 miles a day, then I got heel spurs, and have had knee surgery.  I feel like I am falling apart.  I take a multitude of prescription medications, as well as just about as many over the counter medications, and herbs to try to "fix me".  I live in pain on a daily basis, and am tired and just want to have some peace and harmony for a change. 

Any advice from anyone would be helpful.  Am I selfish to not give it to him every night?  Am I wrong to feel like I have to perform in order to keep my marriage?  Is my marriage even worth saving.?  I think companionship is all I am interested in anymore, and he is not.  He does not like to do the things I like to do.  I do the things he likes just so we can spend time together, but I usually do not enjoy myself. 

Recently he became a store manager and he is gone all day, and usually drags in at bed time, wants to eat and then hit the sack, with me in it.  We have not done anything fun together in a couple of years now.  I am a caregiver for a paralyzed man.  He live in the basement apartment of our house.

I make really good money, but I am tied to the house most of the time.  My husband does not understand why, when I have the chance, I want to do something away from the house.  This is another reason I go camping and fishing.  I love the outdoors, and I need a break from being here 24/7.  When I go camping my husband thinks I am abandoning him, he refuses to understand my needing to get away for awhile.

A couple of years ago, my husband's two teen age children came to livewith us.  His son is in college now and doing pretty well.  Hisdaughter, however, has been in trouble since day one.  She is currentlyin a group home trying to get help.  She is addicted to drugs andalcohol and sex.  Since he works all of the time, I am left to deal with all of this by myself.

On top of all of this, my mother passed away in February.  I had been her caregiver for a couple of years now.  She was diabetic, an amputee, in a wheel chair and I was obligated to her and her care.  She liked to fish and camp, so I took her as much as I could last year.  She told me that it was the best summer she ever had.  Little did I know it was her last summer, so at least there is the one thing I feel good about.  I am the oldest of 4 children.  I now have the responsibility of taking care of the final stuff for my mom. 


So, what is wrong with me Doc?  Can you fix me?  Is my marriage worth saving, or is it killing me?
 
April 8, 2008, 3:25 pm CDT

I don't know who else to ask

Hello Doctors,

 

I have had genital herpies for many years now and have tried all of the drugs on the market to help me with my outbrakes to no avail. I have an outbreak at least twice a month and they last four to five days. I have talked to my doctor about maybe seeing a doctor that specializes in the immunities field. My doctor said I just have to learn to deal with my outbreaks. I think about suicide offten because some of my outbreaks are so bad. Can you give me any advice on what to do at this point please?

 
April 8, 2008, 3:29 pm CDT

disfiguring mom/amputate legs

Dr. Phil, Please if there is anyway you can talk this woman out of this please do it. She'll ruin him. My father was a paraplegic he had to wear a back brace to sit up. He had a full productive life, he even coached a football team , that was the least of what he did. But I know he felt disfigured so what she wants to do would make it even more so.My God he had two kids. His was polio but whats the difference. My mother was also handicapped ,they had a great life.Please tell her to leave well enough alone. Please give her my e-mail address I'll tell her all about it and how it can be .My parents were the best she needs to give him a chance Pleae. Barbara
 
April 8, 2008, 3:31 pm CDT

germs

 This woman is only creating super germs by over cleaning. After long enough the germs become immune to her disinfectants. She should let her daughter be exposed to some things so her imunities can become like little stealth fighters.
Being a poor twenty something I lived in a cold, dark, damp house for almost 5 years and I will admit to not always being the best house keeper. The thing is I never got sick that whole time and haven't since.
Good luck Jennifer!
 
April 8, 2008, 3:56 pm CDT

Have Faith Mother

Quote From: fromthesquare

I think that the parents of that beautiful child are doing a great job with him.  He gets around, is happy, even has a bike adapted for him!  I was shocked that the mom would discuss amputation with a 3 year old.  He cannot grasp that concept.  He cannot make this decision.  If you want him to decide then you have to wait until he is old enough to do it.   At this age it is the decision of the parents and they need to keep that discussion between themselves while they are arguing about it. 
How will you feel when that boy is a teen-ager and says "Mom why did you let them cut my legs off"?  When he is old enough, please let him make up his own mind.  You will always have a doubt in your mind if you go through with this idea of yours.  Why don't you have hope.  You never know what the future holds for him.  Just remember God works in strange ways.  Doctors I commend you for your answer to these parents.
 
April 8, 2008, 3:59 pm CDT

Ask the Dr.

If I have had a bone marrow transplant from my sibling, will my immune system ever be normal again.

The transplant was 7 years ago?

 
April 8, 2008, 4:01 pm CDT

dude

Quote From: mjmildon

Hello Doctors,

 

I have had genital herpies for many years now and have tried all of the drugs on the market to help me with my outbrakes to no avail. I have an outbreak at least twice a month and they last four to five days. I have talked to my doctor about maybe seeing a doctor that specializes in the immunities field. My doctor said I just have to learn to deal with my outbreaks. I think about suicide offten because some of my outbreaks are so bad. Can you give me any advice on what to do at this point please?

I'm not a doctor but I just want to tell you to hang in there. You certianly are not alone and the everyday new developments are being made to help people like you. I know it must be hard and its unfortunate you have to play this hand that you were delt. I wont pretend to know how you feel but DON'T think of suicide as an option. You can get through it.
 
April 8, 2008, 4:03 pm CDT

Conquering OCD

This message is for the lady that was a germaphobic on today's show. It was clear that she had OCD as I believe one of the doctors said she had. I would like to give her a word of encouragment. I have OCD....I do not wash my hands but do others things repeatedly. I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago and today I have pretty much took it under control. Through drugs and psychological help...but mostly the psychological help as I hated the drugs, I can control my OCD for most situations and my anxiety. You will always have the urges that you have, but through help can learn how to control them.

There is an AWESOME book out there called Brain Lock by Jeffrey M. Schwartz...please give it a read....

it has really good steps that my psychologist and I even used to conquer OCD!!!!! I very much hope this message gets back to the lady.....and if you would like to contact me I have no problem with that.

Thanks

Jalene

 
April 8, 2008, 4:19 pm CDT

Breast feeding and intelligence

Breast has nothing whatsoever to do with the intelligence of a child.  I never breast fed my children, and both have above average intetlligence.  My grandsons are both in special classes due to above average intelligence.  Neither of them were breast fed.  I have a granddaughter who was not breast fed and is above average.  I was not breast fed and have above average intelligence.  A friend of mine did not breast feed her daughter, who has average intelligence.  Intelligence comes from genetics, not whether or not a baby is breast fed!

 
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