Topic : 08/05 Fat Abusers

Karen go to your personnel dept at work or to who ever it is that does payroll and you tell them you need to make a direct deposit!! 

don't *wait for him to give you an allowance*  it is YOUR paycheck and YOU are entitled to it!  You do NOT NEED HIS permission!   If he's serious about change eh'll understand this move period........  If not this is a honey moon phase and he's not serious. 

He didn't do a "turn around" because he realizes how horrible he is it's because he "doesn't want to be the most hated man in America"!   He's changed 100%?  if that's true it WOULD last! 

Direct deposit Karen take back you power DON'T wait for him to give it back TAKE it back! 

the mother and daughter team are bad, how can a mother teach her child to treat her father that way, and why does he stay, why do any of them stay?

To hear the daughter speak about her father that way, pure shock, I hope they see how they look.

Oh man, can I relate.  I do that to myself all the time in my head in front of a mirror.  It's like a taped recording or broken record (or in this day and age, a broken Mp3...ha ha).  I don't know if it's residual anorexia trying to sink its talons back in me, or depression but  I think it stems from my own anxiety and self-consciousness that I have to change how I look at things.  I'm negative about myself, and as momakababe said, it helps to write down your thoughts and go to a therapist that specializes in anxiety and depression...because I think you probably have a fair share of both ( I recognize a bit of me in your post).

As for saying things that you think other people think about you, my therapist said that it's called "fortune telling".  You try to guess what other people are perceiving about you, assuming it's all negative and try to use the defense mechanism of rejecting yourself first.  Odds are they're probably thinking about other things besides your weight, you just don't know what people think about.

As for losing the weight, small goals work best.  It's unrealistic to think you can go back to the way you were 30 yrs ago overnight, so you just start small and work your way through easy, realistic goals.  That goes for socializing also (you may have some Social Anxiety also), but small goals will work there also.  Living well is the BEST revenge.

I'm not one who thinks people can't change but a narcissist is a completely different animal.  The story of Rick has been told so many times there's books written etc.  Some times a narcissist is so good at portraying an image even warped that they convince themselves there right!  I think when Rick went on Dr. Phil initially he thought it was going to straighten out all the things wrong with Karen.  When it turned out him who got the tongue lashing she has to make it look like he's "changed" so that when it comes to the break up he can say "it's her fault she never did her part to fix the marriage." 

The "public apology" because he said he never did apologize is a lie and it was written right here on the boards after the first show the "apology".  it believe all the "changing" is for show.  If things weren't for show she'd be the one paying the bills and he'd get off her back.  She works a full time job and doesn't have any cash unless she sells something on ebay!   

I hope I'm wrong I do but the odds are sorely against it.

As for youthe difference is that you *want to change* and that is huge.  I'm a ex-smoker and never thought I'd be able to quit but I did, alcoholics, drug addicts etc. there are 112 step programs etc.  people can and do change all the time.