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Topic : 08/05 Fat Abusers

Number of Replies: 446
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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:11:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/09/08) “Fat slob!” “Lardo!” “Lazy butt!” Obese people are often the target of ridicule, but can you imagine hearing this type of verbal abuse from your own spouse? Dr. Phil takes on fat abusers, people who intentionally belittle their husband or wife simply for being overweight. Roger says he was very clear when he told his wife, Linda, before they were married that he couldn’t stand fat people. Now 20 years later, Roger says Linda has gained 40 pounds and is about to lose him. He says sex with her is like “rolling around in a bowl of Jell-O” and is considering divorce if she doesn’t shed the pounds. Should Linda take his behavior as a wake-up call and end the marriage? Then, Alisa and Leon have been married for 28 years, but now that he tips the scales at 305 pounds, she calls him “Fat Butt.” She filed for divorce because she says she can’t stand looking at his stinky, flabby body. Their daughter, Amy, also puts Leon down and says he's the reason that she’s full-figured. Don't miss Dr. Phil's surprise for Leon! And, viewers were left speechless by Rick, who called his wife, Karen, a fat whore, fat pig and even the C-word. Has he changed his abusive ways? Join the discussion.

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April 9, 2008, 12:22 pm CDT

Let Him Go.........................

I have just seen the segment from your show Fat Abusers.  Please do yourself a favor and get rid of that man that thinks he is a gift to you.  He is not worth it, and he does not love you treating you this way, it is abuse.  You look so run down and beat, do yourself a favor and let that piece of crap of a man ( not a man) go.  You deserve better and he deserves to be a miserable old lonely man living all by himself. SHAME ON YOU. 
 
April 9, 2008, 12:37 pm CDT

Mr Bowl Full Of Jello!!!!!!!!!!!!

This wife needs to leave NOW!!!!!!!!! If he loved her at all he wouldn't be abusive over her weight. Over 20 years people change, they gain weight, get wrinkles, go bald, etc.. If we left our spouses or belittled them over everything that changed the divorce rate would be 100%. I put on some weight when I became disabled and my Husband loves me more than ever before. Yes, I would love to lose it but if I tried my husband would encourage me and probably do it with me, not put me down. I suppose after 20 years of marriage that some things have changed with my husbands appearance but to be completely honest I don't see it. He still turns me on like crazy. I desire him more now than the first year we were married and we kept things pretty busy back then. He can't keep his hands off of me. I'm not bragging here, I'm talking about true love. The two of us may have changed over the years but we don't see it, we just love and desire each other more every day. That poor woman isn't loved by her husband and she needs to leave him and find someone who will love her for who she is, not what she looks like. Life is WAY too short to live like that!!!!!!! 
 
April 9, 2008, 12:45 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

I'm sorry, but Linda knew this guy was a shallow jerk before she married him. She should lose the weight OR lose him. Either way, she knew he didn't like fat people. She needs to deal with it.
 
April 9, 2008, 12:53 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

I have more to say here. Roger and Linda have never had a real relationship...that much is clear. They both seem to think her weight is the problem...YES BOTH.  She is feeding into this "fat is the problem" problem as much as HE is.

He was rude and abusive BEFORE marriage about her weight, and now we're all supposed to be shocked that he STILL IS?!

They both have problems that seem to compliment each other...he enjoys being a jerk and she enjoys being treated badly...other wise, why would she go to him for sex if she KNOWS he's going to call her names and make her feel like crap?

Trust me, I am a self loathing person too, sometimes nothing feels better than having someone make you feel really rotten about yourself. It's hard to explain. It's like cutting. Sometimes you get a rush of endorphins if you really make yourself feel like hell. And this woman is clearly like that. I cannot imagine why else she would go to him for sex only to KNOW that he is going to say VILE things to her. Why did she marry him in the FIRST place? These two have never seemed to have had a deep or meaningful relationship, it's like a mutual S/M relationship, only instead of domination and submission physically it's mental.
 
April 9, 2008, 12:54 pm CDT

ok so it's so that he doesn't have to "give you the money"

 

 

Karen go to your personnel dept at work or to who ever it is that does payroll and you tell them you need to make a direct deposit!! 

 

don't *wait for him to give you an allowance*  it is YOUR paycheck and YOU are entitled to it!  You do NOT NEED HIS permission!   If he's serious about change eh'll understand this move period........  If not this is a honey moon phase and he's not serious. 

 

He didn't do a "turn around" because he realizes how horrible he is it's because he "doesn't want to be the most hated man in America"!   He's changed 100%?  if that's true it WOULD last! 

 

 

Direct deposit Karen take back you power DON'T wait for him to give it back TAKE it back! 

 
April 9, 2008, 12:54 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

Quote From: jewelsf

This wife needs to leave NOW!!!!!!!!! If he loved her at all he wouldn't be abusive over her weight. Over 20 years people change, they gain weight, get wrinkles, go bald, etc.. If we left our spouses or belittled them over everything that changed the divorce rate would be 100%. I put on some weight when I became disabled and my Husband loves me more than ever before. Yes, I would love to lose it but if I tried my husband would encourage me and probably do it with me, not put me down. I suppose after 20 years of marriage that some things have changed with my husbands appearance but to be completely honest I don't see it. He still turns me on like crazy. I desire him more now than the first year we were married and we kept things pretty busy back then. He can't keep his hands off of me. I'm not bragging here, I'm talking about true love. The two of us may have changed over the years but we don't see it, we just love and desire each other more every day. That poor woman isn't loved by her husband and she needs to leave him and find someone who will love her for who she is, not what she looks like. Life is WAY too short to live like that!!!!!!! 
She doesn't seem to REALLY love him either...what is it she loves? His shallow remarks? His threats? He's been like this before they got married.
 
April 9, 2008, 12:57 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

rainpainrain was your name once "purplerain"?  I've seen you on the same boards as someone who had that name I believe and I just thought you sounded like her too.  just curious.
 
April 9, 2008, 12:59 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

the mother and daughter team are bad, how can a mother teach her child to treat her father that way, and why does he stay, why do any of them stay?

 

To hear the daughter speak about her father that way, pure shock, I hope they see how they look.

 
April 9, 2008, 12:59 pm CDT

Negative self talk...

Quote From: want2change

I watched the show today and found it very sad.  I am very overweight.  Thirty years ago I was thin, healthy and full of energy.  I do not expect to ever be that thin or have that much energy again, but I would like to be healthier.  Since my divorce in 2007, I have found myself alone.  I feel I do not have any hope of ever finding a lasting friendship, much less a relationship ship, because of my weight.  I am my own worse enemy. My question now becomes, what do you do when the fat abuser is yourself? I make jokes about my fat, I say things about being fat that I believe other people are probably thinking. I hate mirrors!  I am my own fat abuser!

 

Oh man, can I relate.  I do that to myself all the time in my head in front of a mirror.  It's like a taped recording or broken record (or in this day and age, a broken Mp3...ha ha).  I don't know if it's residual anorexia trying to sink its talons back in me, or depression but  I think it stems from my own anxiety and self-consciousness that I have to change how I look at things.  I'm negative about myself, and as momakababe said, it helps to write down your thoughts and go to a therapist that specializes in anxiety and depression...because I think you probably have a fair share of both ( I recognize a bit of me in your post).

 

As for saying things that you think other people think about you, my therapist said that it's called "fortune telling".  You try to guess what other people are perceiving about you, assuming it's all negative and try to use the defense mechanism of rejecting yourself first.  Odds are they're probably thinking about other things besides your weight, you just don't know what people think about.

 

As for losing the weight, small goals work best.  It's unrealistic to think you can go back to the way you were 30 yrs ago overnight, so you just start small and work your way through easy, realistic goals.  That goes for socializing also (you may have some Social Anxiety also), but small goals will work there also.  Living well is the BEST revenge.

 
April 9, 2008, 1:04 pm CDT

04/09 Fat Abusers

Quote From: rainpainrain

Seems to me like the guy has changed. Sometimes it's hard to see the flaws in ourselves...especially when our internal thinking is completely wrong.

I am going through that right now...Frankly it scares me to think that people might think that *I* can't change...I guess that is the way it is though. And that in and of itself is another battle of the human mind. Some people have been hurt or taught to believe that people CAN'T change.

Well they can.

I'm not one who thinks people can't change but a narcissist is a completely different animal.  The story of Rick has been told so many times there's books written etc.  Some times a narcissist is so good at portraying an image even warped that they convince themselves there right!  I think when Rick went on Dr. Phil initially he thought it was going to straighten out all the things wrong with Karen.  When it turned out him who got the tongue lashing she has to make it look like he's "changed" so that when it comes to the break up he can say "it's her fault she never did her part to fix the marriage." 

 

The "public apology" because he said he never did apologize is a lie and it was written right here on the boards after the first show the "apology".  it believe all the "changing" is for show.  If things weren't for show she'd be the one paying the bills and he'd get off her back.  She works a full time job and doesn't have any cash unless she sells something on ebay!   

 

I hope I'm wrong I do but the odds are sorely against it.

 

As for youthe difference is that you *want to change* and that is huge.  I'm a ex-smoker and never thought I'd be able to quit but I did, alcoholics, drug addicts etc. there are 112 step programs etc.  people can and do change all the time. 

 
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