Topic : 08/05 Fat Abusers

Omg...and for the ppl who are Whining about my post...MEN are just the same...there is no need for them to be fat either!!! its about will power and not being lazy...get off your butts and do something!!!...Unless you have a disorder or MEDICAL problem that you can't lose the weight...then loose it...its not attractive AT ALL!!! And there is NO NEED for it...

I'm currently watching the rerun of this show.  I think I saw it before, and I may have posted my opinion on it before.  I don't remember.  There are so many pages to browse, I wouldn't even find it.

 

As a heavy person myself, I think that it's great to expose how people are abused because of their weight by loved ones.

 

I, however, would like to see a show specifically about men refusing to date heavy women because of their high weight.  I personally think that weight is an issue that should be dealt with between the person and their doctor ONLY.  Otherwise, unless it's a loved one's concern, it's no one else's business, and nobody should be discriminated for that, including in a dating situation.  It pains me everyday that I have trouble finding a significant other JUST because of my weight.  Ridiculous really, because I'm very active and have no trouble getting around or doing things, etc.

 

I read a whole book by a well known rabbi who wrote that the weight issue has more to do with gratifying a man's ego (or woman's ego in a female case, I suppose) rather than the weight itself.  That may be an opinion, but there's always been a discussion about the weight issue being related to fertility, etc-that men choose a thin woman because they're supposedly more fertile.  It's the opposite, actually.  Heavier woman are more fertile.  Hence, the fat issue has nothing really to do with that.  I think this is a cultural issue and an "ego" issue.  I'm not saying being heavy is healthy.  However, it's time that we are accepted for who we are and have the issue dealt with by our doctors and ourselves only.

I can't believe this people how nasty ,disgusting they are ,they don't have respect for the wifes and husbands ,,and fathers,what about RESPECT? is okay to feel bad about but try in a easy way and if you are so disgust divorce them is all ,but don't put that war against your family members,it is soo sad ,I remember when I just have my baby my husabdn told me I was getting fat I just have the baby ,and I will never  forget those words it hurts ,and even if thsi nice lady loose the weight she will be angry with this bastard of husband ,I will DIVORCE him for EVER,marriage is for good and bad for better or for worse did they forgot those I DOS? we are getting old and our body change I was 100 pounds when I married my husband now I am 65 and 130 pounds I change of course.... and I am single thanks GOD ..Dr. Phill should help this people for themselves but not EVER to keep this marriage solid the marriage is gone it is not love not more there .When this words staring when this abuse start is nothing to do,because the RESPECT IS GONE I hope tey loose weight and divorce those morons and that daughter ,what is she talking about she is FAT PIG she should first respect her dad and second like Dr. Phill said is a mirror in your house?she should look herself first in the mirror and later starting to loose fat herself ...i am sooo MAD abut this idiots ,morons is not words to say ...when my hsband told me that I realize it was not love there and when this people said those things it is not love in the marriage because love is respect ....maria

 Dr. Phil:  It is a shame you are so darn good at your profession. 

   I was really hoping Rick was going to just keep on messing up.  Karen is kind of pretty.  I loved her pretty blue eyes.  At the rate he was going at it, a real nice, pretty lady was going to be back on the market soon. One with a charming daughter.   Better she find someone who can learn to care for her as who she is instead of being pounded in to a rag doll in a "marriage bag" by the husband from amateur hour.

He should know better and she deserves better.  He is double fortunate because despite his vicous verbal pummeling, those kind blue eyes still cared enough to pick up a copy of your book and give you a call...instead of a rock.

Why worry so much about what OTHER people look like?  Not all people agree with you, not all people have the same priorities as you.

Why are you so vicious about this?

I went back and read some of your post history. I would rather be fat than be this constantly negative. There is no excuse for your negativity. It's not attractive...AT ALL...there is no need for it.

I have a husband like the guys on the show, and he used to say some of the same mean and hurtful things.  We started going to counselling and he has become kinder, but I sense he feels the same way deep inside about my weight.   We never have sex anymore and we're acting like mere roomates.  I know he loves me.......he just doesn't know how to relate as a "husband" I told him he should've taken "husband" lessons before we got married, because he really doesn't have a clue sometimes.   I don't really feel like he respects me because of some deep rooted fellings he has for his Mother.  I also suggested he get counselling for himself but he won't.  I'm considering Lap Band surgery now...not for him but for myself.  Once I lose the weight, somone told me he'll just find something else to "whine" about.

What to do ??????

After watching todays show about fat abusers, I am FURIOUS!!!!!  Not once did I hear anything about the actual person and what they are like inside!  Were they mean, abusing, nasty, cheaters, etc etc....Also, has anyone ever thought about what a woman's body goes through over her lifetime, that a man never even thought about going through?  When she is young and thin, she is persued until some guy marries her, gets her pregnant, expexts three (at least ) great meals a day, the kids are born after her body is ravaged by hormonal changes and childbirth.  Who else but mom will fix delicious, healthy meals three times a day, and is no longer being taken out to dinner or dancing.  She is at home or work doing the job of a football team.  Then the kids are grown, Mom has had a hysterectomy or some other illness that puts her body through more hell, then she goes through menopause, that comp;etely rearranges her metabolism and inner workings.  Then that wonderful man finds a younger woman that might resemble in some way the woman he married several years earlier, and he feels like a young stud again, and leaves his wife, no longer interested in the old woman he married.  The kids grow up, leave home, and no longer want her anymore, either.  There she is....older, overweight, and alone!   Give me a break!!!!!!!

I cannot believe that the women took that from their husbands....... but it was real shocker to hear that there are MEN who let their wives walk all over them like that!!!  How outrageous!  I felt so bad for all of them.  My husband has gained weight since we got married 6 years ago..... I have, too, unfortunately :)..... and he is unhappy about it and always makes comments about himself being fat.  But all I say is, "you are not fat!!  And I love you just the way you are!"  Isn't that why you get married anyway.... because you love them????  And how can anyone stay with someone who makes them feel so bad about themselves???  I would rather be alone and lonely then stay with someone who makes me feel lower than sewage!  I always make comments about me being fat and my husband says the same thing to me, that I am not fat and to knock it off!! :)  My kids don't like it when I do that to myself either, but oh well! :)  SO to all you people out there who are verbally abused in anyway by your spouse (or anyone who claims to love or care about you), whether about weight, looks, or intelligence.... ask yourself just how much does this person saying these mean things to you really love you???  A person who really loves you and cares about you, will NOT make you feel like s**t!!  And definately not intentionally!  And if they are doing that to you, love yourself enough to stand up to them or to leave.  No one needs to feel that low and worthless..... NO ONE!    O.k..... well..... maybe the ones doing the abusing, huh??? :)  

 I understand fully the delimma of loss of my sensual self when a bad back began my process of obesity.  I now diet and exercise, but because of my age and limited mobility it's so hard to loose and control my weight.