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Topic : 04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 263
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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:12:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever had the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with your relationship? Dr. Phil’s guests say they saw several red flags before they walked down the aisle, but they looked the other way and still said, “I do.” Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn discovered men’s magazines in her husband’s bag. Now Randall is out of the closet as a gay man, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce. How are their kids handling the news that their father is gay? And, Natalie says she’s leaving if her husband, Robert, doesn’t change his lazy ways. She says he hasn’t worked in a year and watches TV all day while she works, cooks, cleans and pays bills. Robert says he’s pursuing his dream of writing a novel, but Natalie says the book is an excuse to sit on his butt all day. Is Robert a talented undiscovered writer or a freeloading husband? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 8, 2008, 1:23 pm CDT

Homesexuality is not God's design - more info

Quote From: thedesertdawg

Shawn and Randell's situation doesn't sound very gay to me.  But then that word has been ruined forever.  It used to mean happy, didn't it?

Focus on the Family www.family.org

has a conference coming up on proclaiming the truth in love called "love won out."

 

It is a dynamic one-day conference from Focus on the Family.

April 12 2008 San Jose,CA

June 7, 2008 Orlando, Fl

Sept 13, 2008 Anchorage, AK

 

Early registration is $50 and at the door is $60. www.lovewonout.com

 

I have had two women in my family who were both molested, one raped by a man, and the other molested by a man as a small child and a female teen when she was an older child. Both had a period of time when they believed a lie from Satan that they were lesbian. One is much closer to full deliverance now than the other one, but I know that God can completely deliver and restore them both.

 

This conference has speakers including:

Alan Chambers who left homosexuality in 1991 and founded Exodus International, the worlds largest resource and referral organization dealing with homosexuality.

Joe Dallas, a counselor and author of Desires in Conflict and Homosexuality Hits Home

Jeff Johnston who struggled with homosexuality until 1986, he is a genders issue analyst

Nancy Heche, a single parent who eperienced the media rush during her daughter's highly visible lesbian relationship and a widow who survived her husband shocking diagnosis and death from AIDs.

Dr. Michael Brown

Melissa Fryrear, M. Div, shares her story

Dick Carpenter II, PhD.

Dr. Bill Maier, Psy. D

 

I am praying for those who believe they are homosexual to experiences God's love and see the truth and be set free from this bondage. I know it is possible, God can do ALL things for those who believe. In Jesus name. Amen

 

 

 
April 8, 2008, 1:49 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: bootykick

I was in the audience when this was aired over a year ago.  November 17, 2006.  The gay guy IS gay and the aspiring writer....he's a joke.  It's actually pretty funny how Dr. Phil addresses him.  Anyway, don't knock his wife.  I don't know what she's done with her life since then.  Hopefully the husband pulled his head out of his armpit and got a real job, or she left him.  So watch the show on Thursday.  You'll see.
Any idea why it took Dr Phil almost 18 months to air this show? Since, as an audience member, you probably saw more than we'll be seeing, due to editing, I'll take your word that "aspiring writer" Robert is a joke. I saw, elsewhere on this board, that he "writes" four or five hours a day. After a year, he ought to have produced at least one book. Allowing five hours for writing, and eight for sleeping, he's still got 11 to work at a real job. Which many writers do. Until they're making a living from writing.
 
April 8, 2008, 2:15 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: thedesertdawg

Shawn and Randell's situation doesn't sound very gay to me.  But then that word has been ruined forever.  It used to mean happy, didn't it?
What exactly is your point here? Is it that you are bitter that the definition of a word changed 30 years ago? Is it that you feel bad for this gay couple in some way?
 
April 8, 2008, 2:16 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: marianparoo

... for almost 100 years!

 

Look at a historical dictionary.

 

It just took a while for the general public to pick that up.

 

Marian Paroo,

reference librarian!

Interesting info!
 
April 8, 2008, 2:27 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

It's a real shame that so many people grow up feeling they have to deceive the whole world and themselves to the degree that they marry someone they aren't attracted to.

I do think it would be worse to keep that lie up though.  People can successfully co-parent if they focus on the kids more than themselves and revenge.

I also think it would be a good example to the kids to right the wrong this man made in the first place. Honesty is what is needed here.
 
April 8, 2008, 2:33 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: hrinks

Focus on the Family www.family.org

has a conference coming up on proclaiming the truth in love called "love won out."

 

It is a dynamic one-day conference from Focus on the Family.

April 12 2008 San Jose,CA

June 7, 2008 Orlando, Fl

Sept 13, 2008 Anchorage, AK

 

Early registration is $50 and at the door is $60. www.lovewonout.com

 

I have had two women in my family who were both molested, one raped by a man, and the other molested by a man as a small child and a female teen when she was an older child. Both had a period of time when they believed a lie from Satan that they were lesbian. One is much closer to full deliverance now than the other one, but I know that God can completely deliver and restore them both.

 

This conference has speakers including:

Alan Chambers who left homosexuality in 1991 and founded Exodus International, the worlds largest resource and referral organization dealing with homosexuality.

Joe Dallas, a counselor and author of Desires in Conflict and Homosexuality Hits Home

Jeff Johnston who struggled with homosexuality until 1986, he is a genders issue analyst

Nancy Heche, a single parent who eperienced the media rush during her daughter's highly visible lesbian relationship and a widow who survived her husband shocking diagnosis and death from AIDs.

Dr. Michael Brown

Melissa Fryrear, M. Div, shares her story

Dick Carpenter II, PhD.

Dr. Bill Maier, Psy. D

 

I am praying for those who believe they are homosexual to experiences God's love and see the truth and be set free from this bondage. I know it is possible, God can do ALL things for those who believe. In Jesus name. Amen

 

 

These take-the-gay-away programs do not work.  PERIOD. They do however cause depression. Is one of God's rays of light depression?
 
April 8, 2008, 8:37 pm CDT

Gay in Hiding

My son's best friend has a gay father.  He got married and fathered this wonderful boy then left his wife for another man.  It shook her to the core when he and his lover started to show up at the son's baseball games together.  It was a terrible divorce.  Then he got HIV.  Now they couldn't be closer.  They are still divorced, he is still gay but they have decided to love each other for their son.  He stays at her place and cares for her when she is sick- she has battled cancer.  She takes care of him when he is sick.  They raised this child together.  What I think of the gay lifestyle is not important.  What I think of their son is.  He is a sensitive, wonderful teenager who does not get into trouble, loves his parents and respects his elders.  I love him as one of my own. 
 
April 9, 2008, 10:47 am CDT

get out lady!!!!!!!!

This story from what I read about it has made me angry to the core. This guy Randall lies to his wife and decieves her for many years. Then he decides he'd rather be with dudes then her is wrong on so many levels. He should have been honest with her in the beginning so she could decide to get out before she got in too deep. he is damamging her as a woman and damamging their kids big time. It's going to cause mental issues not to mention violence. That lady needs to take her kids and RUN!!!!!!!!!
 
April 9, 2008, 12:06 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: hrinks

I am sorry to hear what you are going through yourself. That is tough, I have been there in some ways.

 

I would love to see you be helped and your life COMPLETELY restored. I had precancer and God completely healed me. My brother was supposed to die as a child from a multiple of health issues relating from his premature birth - my mother had faith, changed her life completely for God, brought my brother to Pastor Benny Hinn, and my brother is 25 years old - a miracle child.

 

My husband's family does not care for me but my prayer partner and I prayed for their daughter to be completely healed of a intestinal issue that the doctors claimed to be incurable and it was wrecking havoc in her body - we had faith for TOTAL healing, restoration, and for her to be completely off the medications and hormones - and her miracle came this year. The little girl is only 4.

 

I KNOW that Jesus heals. I have seen it, experienced it, and God is amazing. Below I included information on Creflo Ministries - that pastor was healed from prostate cancer by God.

 

These resources have helped me:

 

Focus on the Family 800 A FAMILY (232-6459) - the give ONE FREE COUNSELING SESSION BY PHONE PER PERSON PER YEAR

www.family.org

They have LOTS of free materials on their website and they will send lots of free materials including brochures and a free magazine (several to choose from).

 

www.joycemeyer.org 

She went through a bad marriage the first go round and has lots of free resources regarding healing. Her magazine is free - Enjoying Everyday Life - and it is very good and covers lots of topics, healing, health, marriage, and health (diet).

 

Prayer line 1 800 727 9673

 

www.creflodollarministries.com

Creflo Dollar Ministries Prayer line 1 866 477 7683

 

Daystar Prayer Line

1 800 329 0029

Leave a message and they will call you back to pray.

 

www.Peteryoungren.org

24 Hour Prayer Center 1 800 275 2713

Can leave message and/or get a call back

 

www.cnb.com

1 800 759 0700

The 700 Prayer Club - 24 hours - usually someone picks up

This is a really good one and they can send you various resources, many for free, too.

 

www.kcm.org

1 800 575 4455

Kenneth Copeland Ministries

They have some great resources on healing.

You can order their Victory Voice magazine for FREE and it is an incredible resource for articles on faith, healing, prosperity, etc.

 

In regards to your bf, his response was yucky. However, if I was in your shoes, I would focus my energy on my relationship with God and my child being completely healed (yes, it IS possible - I have seen many miracles).

 

There is a good book called divorce busters that has some helpful information on dealing with someone when it gets to the point where they want to leave. The is a website that explains (you can find all the stuff free on the website) love busters and emotional needs, you can do the questionnaires if you download and print them, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ and a lot of this information is helpful. I personally do not have the time to give my husband 15 hours undivided attention but the information about love busters and emotional needs is great information. Plus there are a lot of columns on affairs. If you bf is talking to an old girl, you might want to read up on how to respond because if he is "addicted" to talking to her because she is filling a need (affection for instance), then your arguments at this moment are going to make things worse. Even though, yes, I agree with you that he is WRONG for that and it is not fair. However, if you want to get your relationship on track, you will find this information found in his responses regarding affair questions very helpful and if applied, it might lead to him leaving her alone because you will go back to filling up his love tank rather than being a source of emotional pain for him.

 

So, yes, something is wrong with the relationship and there could be underlying issues. However, the information I listed can be of great help for you.

 

 "All things will work together for those who love God and are called according to his purposes" Romans 8:28 This is a PROMISE from God FOR Christians. I hope that you believe in Jesus, if you do, I know that you can have the abundant life that Jesus died for us to have according to John 10:10 (the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy but I came that they will have life, in abundance, to the full, and until it overflows) if you abide in Jesus and then He lives in you. If you do not know Jesus, then you can see your need for His help, admit your sins (we all break the commandments and fall short), ask him into your heart to cleanse, and forgive you, and make him your Lord and Savior. From this point forward, if you get the above materials (the free magazines) and you begin reading the bible - the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John plus Proverbs for wisdom and Psalms are helpful too, then  you will be ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR BEST LIFE EVER!

 

I will be praying for your son and I would love to see him completely restored by the Father. If you want to contact me, check my profile for my email address.  I surf this messageboard because I know that people come here looking for healing that ONLY GOD and JESUS can provide- the water that quenches all thirsts permanently, the bible is the book that answers all questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 That was the kindest post I have ever read! How thoughtful of you to put so much effort into helping someone you don't even know! You probably didn't even think twice about it! Bless you!!!!
 
April 9, 2008, 5:59 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: princessgina

This story from what I read about it has made me angry to the core. This guy Randall lies to his wife and decieves her for many years. Then he decides he'd rather be with dudes then her is wrong on so many levels. He should have been honest with her in the beginning so she could decide to get out before she got in too deep. he is damamging her as a woman and damamging their kids big time. It's going to cause mental issues not to mention violence. That lady needs to take her kids and RUN!!!!!!!!!
And "RUN"?!?!?!

What if he had left her for another woman? Should she "RUN!!!" then?

Too bad so many gay people feel so pressured by ignorance and violence that they feel they HAVE to lie and marry someone of the opposite sex.
 
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