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Topic : 04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 263
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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:12:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever had the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with your relationship? Dr. Phil’s guests say they saw several red flags before they walked down the aisle, but they looked the other way and still said, “I do.” Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn discovered men’s magazines in her husband’s bag. Now Randall is out of the closet as a gay man, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce. How are their kids handling the news that their father is gay? And, Natalie says she’s leaving if her husband, Robert, doesn’t change his lazy ways. She says he hasn’t worked in a year and watches TV all day while she works, cooks, cleans and pays bills. Robert says he’s pursuing his dream of writing a novel, but Natalie says the book is an excuse to sit on his butt all day. Is Robert a talented undiscovered writer or a freeloading husband? Share your thoughts here.

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April 30, 2008, 11:32 am CDT

Do not give up trying Robbert

Robbert

 

I was writing scenes as a child.  yes you need a  side job.  yes you need agent and lawyer. Yes you can go in lone with out them.  this time round it more harder for new comers Because if the writers union they get first calls yes other writer  will bomb out  of your book.... this been going on in Hollywood for 80 years

 

About your book got a job first than goo head and pursue your dream...  My medical bill roll in 14,000 dollars I was working for them got hire. when I was in the hospital I got fire and i fall ed on my head.

yes job all ways helps a lot  but do not tell your employers about it  they may not hire you . GOOD LUCK  ROBBERT.      ZEGGY36

 
May 8, 2008, 5:42 pm CDT

Thanks

Quote From: zeggy36

Robbert

 

I was writing scenes as a child.  yes you need a  side job.  yes you need agent and lawyer. Yes you can go in lone with out them.  this time round it more harder for new comers Because if the writers union they get first calls yes other writer  will bomb out  of your book.... this been going on in Hollywood for 80 years

 

About your book got a job first than goo head and pursue your dream...  My medical bill roll in 14,000 dollars I was working for them got hire. when I was in the hospital I got fire and i fall ed on my head.

yes job all ways helps a lot  but do not tell your employers about it  they may not hire you . GOOD LUCK  ROBBERT.      ZEGGY36

Hi Zeggy36,

                       Thnaks for the words of encouragement. I never got that from Natalie which is why we are now divorced.  I am with a beautiful woman who supports and actually likes my writing.  I have a part time job and am still plugging away at the novel.  Thanks again,

Rob.

All the best to you!!

 
June 25, 2008, 8:24 pm CDT

Thanks for the Advice

Quote From: dandeed

With all due respect to Dr. Phil, the advice he gave the aspiring novelist about publishers wanting proposals for novels  was incorrect.

 

Dr. Phil's advice applies  to nonfiction books, in which editors want to see book proposals. But the aspiring writer on the show was working on a novel. With novels, editors want to see that a writer knows how to craft a novel from beginning to end.. I've been in the publishing business for over twenty years, and I can't think of any new fiction writer who has sold a novel based on a book proposal. An agent may ask a new writer to send in just a few chapters at first, but it's important that the writer have the book completed and ready to send if the agent wants to see the whole thing.

 

As for the writer on the show, he has a very romantic idea about what it takes to be a writer. Real writers know that inspiration, if it comes at all, comes after months of work on a book. The aspiring writer from the show should be working as many hours a day writing (at least eight to ten hours a day) as he would at any job. I know many successful professional writers, and the one thing they have in common is that they produce many pages every day. There's really no magic to it. It's just old-fashioned hard work.

 

He also stated that if his book wasn't accepted for publication, he would publish it himself. Many writers are heartbroken to discover that their self-published books only sell locally.  It would be very difficult for a writer in one city to self-publish a book, advertise it, have it reviewed in national publications, and sell it to stores and libraries across the country. Even if he listed his book on Amazon, no one will know to search for it unless it has national advertising behind it.  If you ask yourself how many self-published books you have purchased in the last year, then you'll  understand why self-published authors end up with a garage full of books they can't sell. The upside to a traditional publisher is that they will make sure the book is placed in thousands of stores and libraries, and their sales department will work to sell the foreign rights, book club rights, audio rights, etc. These subsidiary rights make up a huge portion of a writer's income and would be almost impossible for a writer to handle on his or her own.

 

Addtionally, it's important to remember that new novels typically receive only  a modest advance, It may take a book a year or more to earn back the advance, and only after that does the writer receive royalties. As you can see, this isn't a profession for the faint of heart!  It's not an impossible dream to become a writer, but it does require a great deal of work.

 

Thanks for the advice.  If no one else listens to it I will :)

 

I've just completed my first book and am about to approach publishers... My sister has volunteered to help with that.  I'm hoping she'll be a buffer between me and a potential rejection letter ;)

 

I work full time and often also take classes in the evening so I was really disappointed to hear someone who said they felt they couldn't work and write.  I agree that being published would be a dream come true and that's why I'll hang onto my full time job and benefit package and wait and see.  I wrote every single night and all weekend (yes my house is a very messy).  I wrote at work when on lunches and breaks.  I wrote on the bus when ideas came--I have notebooks everywhere to jot things down, even in the bathroom!

 

Dr. Phil said that it's a good idea for a writer to be working so that they are interacting with society.  I can't agree more.  Recently I got a huge inspiration for another book when sitting on the bus.  I can't go into detail about it without giving it all away but it was something that happened on the bus that was really funny and sweet.  So, yes, interactions are what give the ideas and inspiration for characters.  If I didn't take the bus I would never have gotten this idea for my next book.

 

There were days when I was upset or stressed and didn't feel I could get into a creative mood to write.  But my sister, a teacher librarian has talked to authors and said their advice is to write, write, write.  It is a job.  You have to make yourself write every day when you don't feel like it and when you do.  I took this advice to heart and was really surprised that after a few minutes with my hands on the keys just writing away but not too seriously, I would end up with a really good scene to add to the book and whatever bad mood I had would vanish.

 

If I get published, I'll report back and let you know.  I've written a children's illustrated novel.  I've done the writing and am currently working on the illustrations.

 
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